You Have A Special Place In My Heart Here, Uncle Bapa

Uncle Bapa Is Dead
I have only been here one week. That kindly, friendly and smiley face is no more. On Saturday night, he was coughing as I spoke with Leela, the Gila, the Voodoo, Moodoo, Woodoo (and get this, she is Christian, the exact same kinda Christian I was born into and she reads a red Tamil Bible and holds a glow-in-the-dark rosary. Ok, ok, maybe she isnt Voodoo, I am not sure)

The next morning Doray's sister visits and before I thought I could chat with Uncle Bapa a while like I always do, he was whizzed off to the hospital as he has an attack of asthma. He had been on medication since last Tuesday I was told.

Monday morning Doray rang me to say Uncle Bapa is dead while I was having a bout of nightmare (I can't really remember but I know it was bad and I actually stomped against the wall like I was stamping on some BADDIE, what Christians would put down as a spiritual warfare?)

I rushed out of my bedroom and Leela was in the kitchen and she confirmed this.

The whole clan came over in the morning and some women were raising their voices as they argued over some funeral rituals or something, as I understand it.

After I verbalised my condolences to Doray and walked out of the house and while on the bus, I found myself tearing a little. This death reminded me of my own father.

But Uncle Bapa had it better. He was still mobile and had no tubes stuck into him like my dad was. He was still alert and could speak. And Uncle Bapa was in better shape too. My dad was emaciated, frail, ghostly white and wafer-thin.

I didn't wanna stay on as I thought it would be a private family affair. In any case I won't know what to say or how to react and don't know anyone there except Doray and Leela and it would be according to their Hindu funeral rites.

Whatever it is, I am sure Uncle Bapa will have it better wherever he is now. No more suffering.

To Each, His Own Way Of Grieving
I suppose we all have different ways of grieving. For me it is prolly writing about it. Not necessarily a lock of hair or an urn of ashes or a photograph.

It could be in your heart or in your mind or in another way.

Community Ties
I read today's papers and I understand that we are building community ties and not the ties seen to be PAP tied like the RCs, etc.

Well I am all for community ties. But my "family nucleus" will not be the conventional one. It is one of those changing facets of what used to be a traditional family unit. The one that a journalist had written about, only this is even more radical and more revolutionary in nature.

If the community can accept that, well, hey I wanna take my beau and adopted son along to all community events.

Can you ACCEPT THAT AND STOMACH THAT? Or are you gonna force us all into isolation and death just so we HAVE TO BE LIKE YOU?

The Biggies In Our Society
Religion, the all-encompassing State (which includes education and about everything else), businesses and the media.

They wield considerable influences and can transform thinking and shape minds.

So we have to be aware of what they are spouting or groups of us will die under their hands