Nancy Drew (coyly but none too subtlely): "Nancy Drew is back and she is back with a vengeance (clenches fist as if she means business)"
"If you don't already know, I am living in the haunted house of Miss Boo Ah Chiang and I am trying to find out how she died. Miss Boo is rich by any account. Galen, my landlord, has bought over this place from her estate."
Up to this point, we have established several facts about Miss Boo. One, she sleeps on a Super King (that old witch), two, she loves Hainanese chicken rice (Miss Pig-Out, duh) and three, she is a regular fashion whore : she wears a pair of Levis Strauss 501 limited edition designer jeans studded with rhinestones.
Add two new facts we found out about her today. She is an unmarried slut whore who co-habits with her beau and she is a health fanatic. Yuckity yucks to the first and hip-hip-hurray for the second!
Now we are trying to make out more facts about her, especially the circumstances surrounding her death.
Moi -masquerading as Nancy Drew(limbs trembling and eyes glazing over): "Argh....Miss Boo....I see your spirit has drifted in again into this haunted house. I mean I thought I saw you the last time slumped on the couch...But wait.......that was just you being a couch potato right? And that was your beau with you.....You mean you are a slut whore too? Ok.......you aint no puritan huh?"
"Ah..yes...the magnetic force is really building up here.....You are now in the kitchen....You are preparing something.....some pineapples...some apples...some oranges ...some bananas..Ooooo..I like bananas..remind me of something and someone ...You are preparing a fruit cocktail? Why.... you are a health nut too, aren't you? Gosh Miss Boo... You are a bag of surprises? Do you do yoga as well? You do?....Oh man!....."
"Ok ok....I feel some electromagnetic kinetic energy here..An aura surrounding the kitchen top. Yes....You are feeding those fruit slices into a blender....that switch Miss Boo....No No....not that.....That is the switch for operating the blades....something is happening here....the blades are spinning out of control...Oh No....Miss Boo...Boo Hoo...Boo Hoo............"
Running commentary in the background( a deep husky voice in a really grave tone): Will Miss Boo survive the ordeal of a spinning blade wheeling out of her control? Did she die by the cut of a spinning blade? Was that what killed her? Can Nancy Drew unearth more about Miss Boo? Was Miss Boo a scheming corporate raider too who plotted en-bloc sales and manipulated stock market prices? Was she a filial daughter or was she just another rat brat who always must have her way?
Tune in next time for another exciting episode of "Nancy Drew: The Mystery Of Miss Boo Ah Chiang".
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