Surf's Up

What's Happening To Me?
Oh My Lord! I didn't get my numbers right again this time. I must be thinking of the number of sexual partners I have had up to date. What was I thinking? As usual, being the TRUE-BLUE contrite jolly good old chap that I am, I am gonna rectify this wrong.

So please, exorcise moi! That UN figure for SinGAYpore should be 193rd(I think).

Eat your heart out, the Republic Of China!

SinGAYpore - It Is Gayer And Fresher And Newer
And by the way, don't you think this is MORE THAN AN EXCITING PROPOSITION?

I am beginning to think of all those fresh new taglines I could tag it with.

Like: SinGAYpore - a wholly-owned subsidiary of Singapore Inc (nah, this sounds so commercial right?). Or SinGAYpore - the Republic of Singapore?

Maybe: SinGAYpore - it is more than the sum of Singapore or SinGAYpore - Home Of Singapore's Outcasted Young Gay Criminals.

Only Young Hot Male Criminals Allowed In
And yes we are only allowing young hot male criminals in. Criminal males between the ages of 14-24 with the exception of the rulers of course, which of course comprises moi. TADA.

Well, if the clubs do it, I don't see why we can't. Anyway, I reckon by the age of 25, if they were not already worn down by their criminal acts or status (unlike the die-hards), they would have got settled down with some GALLS. The WIMPS!

So sorry, "Ladies' Night", if we sound ageist as well. Take your patronage somewhere else, I always say.

The Women's Charter, What Else?
Of course I take issue with women's groupies, whatever groupies they are. I mean it is in their charter that a marriage is only recognised between a man and a woman in the eyes of the law.

So instead of focussing on all those trivias, why don't they do something about this. It is their charter after all.

So don't you get it or do you? It is within your purview and power to change things. GALLS!

The Same Slippery Slope As The Heteros
But then again, if GAYS were granted the same rights, I can forsee many of the same problems that the women and men are going through.

Divorce, division of matrimonial assets, gold diggers, etc, etc.

So I can't really say if this is gonna be a good thing or not.

Did You Just Accuse Men Of Being Sexist?
Well what about movies with titles like "Incubus'? Why arent there movies titled "Succubus" instead?

Better still, "Gaycubus". Everyone has to be represented right? Isn't this representational democracy?

This is like so sexist. As usual.

The Founding Of SinGAYpore, By Sir Moi?
But once SinGAYpore is founded by ,who else, Sir Moi, all this is gonna change.

No more black or white, coffee or tea (or me?), ying or yang , penises or vulvas, politicans or criminals, teachers or sanctimonious preachers. It is all gonna be in shades and hues and in-between - the grey area.

Gosh, no wonder I have chosen my blog motif to be our founder (although this is a white man).

That is like so deja vu now.

More Porns Like This Please
There are porn and there are porn. But the one moi watched on a weekday morning was such a piece of art.

It was a Japanese make and featured an all-male Japanese cast. Young, virile and very good-looking. The kind who were in college or something. I mean with guys like this and the kinda powerful acts they were putting up, moi came again and again. What do you expect?

The story revolved around some island resort (sounds a lot like what is gonna happen if SinGAYpore is founded) they were holed up in and for 7 days (hence its movie title), they were indulging in some really hot sex.

It has some good storyline and the scenes were graphically portrayed but very tenderly and very very slowly. And they were acting out like among friends or buddies. It wasn't just WHAM, BAM AND SLAM action.

That was what made it stand out and moi stayed up all morning to watch it, though I couldn't finish it eventually. I was forced to leave in the pouring rain.

But that is another story all together.

Bugger Off
Yes I have been ignoring all those drop-dead gorgeous hunks (or otherwise). Drop dead, gouge-your-eyes gorgeous hunks (or wateva).

I mean if I have been snubbed, what do you want me to do? Be snubbed again?

Bugger off, retards!

Now Here Looks Like A Real Scheming Retard
Speaking of retards, I have confided in Keagan about how I am actually living with one. Namely Galen! He has real scheming looks if you ask moi.

I mean he has been hounding moi for the room rental even thought this is like a every 14th or 15th day of the month kinda difference. He would text moi or pound on my door. And he hasn't and aint gonna repair my bedroom's door lock. And this isn't even his house to begin with, that's why!

It is bad enough he mumbles under his breath, he can't communicate. Worse, when he does open his mouth, words just don't tumble out right. The tone, the language, the choice of words and the content.

What a real retard!

It Is Like That Here
Well the culture is a bit like that here. People don't have very nice things to say. I don't blame them but hey, I ain't no punching bag either. Take it out on the government or some unsuspecting passers-by. Not moi.

The womenfolk is worse.

So to survive here, I have begun to speak like them. When in Babel land, be like a Babel.

WOW! Noodles!
With a name like that, you would expect its noodles to be REALLY wooing or WOWING. But it just doesn't serve noodles. It has rice menus and burgers too.

The char-siew wonton ramen it served up was a cold dish, or so I thought. After I polished it off, I enquired and it turns out it wasn't supposed to be. Someone forgot to dip it in hot soup after it was dipped in cold ice. That chef should have his head chopped off!

I will sue you for leaving me out cold like tat!

I Am Not Laying My Life On The Line For You Man
One thing I am very sure of. I ain't no serving the Singaporeans (if they are really us) I see around me.

The young or the old. Male or female. Gays or straights or bis. It doesn't matter.

Certainly not in any capacity as an opposition and not even as a pro-establishment player. A world of self-absorbed individuals.

It just simply ain't worth it!

International Political Stage
The world's a political stage where international collusion and collaboration take hold for political staging, political management and political survival.