Nancy Drew: The Mystery Of Miss Boo Ah Chiang

The Mystery Of Miss Boo Ah Chiang
Who is she? For sure, she isn't alive. She is as dead as a toad in a well of hot boiling water.

And with a family name like that, Boo, you can imagine the whole fucking place I am staying at could actually be haunted. Boo! Mua ha ha ha ha.

When she lived, how was she like? Did she have one nose, one mouth, two eyes and two eye-brows? Or was she deformed?

Was her hair cut short or did she had those long flowy tresses?

Did she have a family? What happened? Why was someone (methinks it was an estate agent...gosh don't these people strike you as sneaky and scummy too?) dealing with the deceased on behalf of her estate?

Ok, ok, so they may be related but what was the relation?

How old was she? Was she pretty? Or was she ugly like Betty? Did she have plastic surgery like the rest of them or was she just all natural and authentic, every ounce of her?

Did she look like Oprah (ok ,ok, so I exaggerate but she could be mixed right?) or was she more like Ellen or Martha Stewart or Maggie Q?

How was she like? Was she a dominatrix or was she a subservient and passive doormat?

Above all, how did she die? Did she die from old age or an illness or an accident?

Was she slumped dead on the couch in front of the television set while watching an episode of "Desperate Housewives" (ok, ok, so I exaggerate here again...afterall she did die some years back)? And this is the same couch I sit to watch "Ellen Denegneres".

Or was she murdered?

If she was murdered, who did the murdering.

Galen?

He did buy the flat from her estate and the housing authority must seriously be nuts up there in their heads if she still comes through as a corpse owning the place.

Doesn't that then make the whole darn place haunted?

Is her spirit still here?

Does that explain why there was a "getai" nearby recently (even though this was only like the fifth month of the lunatic lunar calendar and not the hugely popular 7th month of the Hell spirits?) to commemorate her death anniversary maybe?

Didn't the performers sing like they were some ghostly spirits themselves? Even their make-up look palely ghostly too!

Were they appeasing her haunted spirit or was she just a SNORT WHORE who needed her daily shot of adrenalin?

All these unanswered questions and more.

I found myself turning into Alfred Hitchcock's "The Three Investigators" for the day. Ok. So maybe I am not a trio. Maybe Franklin Dixon's "The Hardy Boys"? All right. So I am all alone. A solo. Carolyn Keene's "Nancy Drew?

Tune in for the next exciting episode of "Nancy Drew: The Mystery Of Miss Boo Ah Chiang" where we will try to answer the mystery of : WHO ARE YOU, MISS BOO?

You Sell Stale Food Too?
So they thought the stale ingredients and food could escape my impeccable palate.

First it was the two last curry puffs displayed in the heating oven. I bit into one and it was all mushy and stinky.

Yesterday it was those small shelled shrimps in a pack of fried noodles that had that weird fishy taste, you just know they were going bad.

And today, the fried seafood rice was really stinky, I left behind a good portion of it.

And you thought I was a gourmand?

You Are Looking For A Man Too?
Some gall wrote me this: "I wanna be happily married. I am looking for a man...."

God, woman! Ain't we all?

This Is What GayDom Should Be All About
A few more video clips grabbed my attention yesterday.

They were some Japanese (or Korean), Taiwanese(I think) and local gay productions.

Of the last I can't confirm. The movie apparently had a twist where the gay dude was being psychoed into liking a woman by his mother - sounds like electro-convulsive therapy to me.

Like "Eternal Summer", "Crystal Boy" was superbly shot.

I mean it had a really mean storyline to begin with.

Two best of school friends, both basket ballers. One got a shirt for his friend's birthday and before you know it, they were horse playing and knocking each other out and for that fleeting moment on the bed, their eyes locked into a more than "friendly" gaze.

Cutting through to the next scene, the two of them were sitting in the school laboratory late at night. One was confiding and crying (I couldn't really hear the audio here) until both were suddenly embracing in the heat of the moment and rolling on the floor before being caught red-handed by the school's caretaker.

I think Asian gay movies reign supreme.

They have an all-natural plot and an all-natural development. A friendship,a relationship, trust and love, mutual care and concern before the sex kicks in.

That is what makes for a sensitive and realistic portrayal of what true love should be.

I mean I can have sex (and physical lust) with just about anybody but in the longer term, what holds is really this.

Kudos to the Asian gay movie industry. I think they have elevated gay art to a new level.