You Eat Peanuts, You Are A Monkey (That Says A Lot, Doesn't It?)
Why am I mopping up so much peanuts, you ask?

Seriously I don't know. But I have this incredible munchy for them. Firstly they are crunchy. Secondly it makes for a great snack. And lastly I like the taste.

You can rave about its anti-oxidant effects on free-radicals, how it is a veg variety and thus very,very healthy. But all these are just incidental. I am not even sure if the last holds true especially since I thought it has oil and may be cholesterol-laden.

People who used to see me buying and eating them by the bagfuls think I wash them down with beer. Hence I am a non-tee-totaller. What assumptive idiots!

So does eating peanuts make a monkey outta moi?

You Can't Touch This
An adopted son is an adopted son. A godson is a godson. If you are gay, you are gay. If you are straight, you are straight. If you are bi, you waver and deserve a kick in the groin for you to wake up and carefully pick and choose.

Having been around Galls and knowing how they are, I know where I stand. Perfectly.

It is that simple.

Nancy Drew: The Mystery Of Miss Boo Ah Chiang (Part 2)

Gosh, So First World Living For The 20% Of Singaporeans (And Who Are These "Singaporeans" Anyway?)
I watched the news today at 9.30pm. There was a segment on upcoming waterfront living and it got me pretty excited. There was gonna be more land released around the Marina Bay area for high-end and high-rise residential living.

Thay says a lot. Nothing at all for public housing projects. If 80% of us live in the heartlands, what does this speak of the government?

They care only for material gains in terms of land sale and for the super-rich.

How are we to lay claim to being First World if it is not First World living standards for the majority of Singaporeans?

And we are not even asking for opulence or frills. Just plain good old common-sense in laying out and designing the projects in very practical terms. Not to mention environmentally correct and conserving efforts in building them around water and greens for the obvious benefits of natural light and natural ventilation, among others.

Yes Singapore counts among a few other nations in the world who has produced more than its fair share of millionaires in 2006, so goes a study.

But Singapore does not mean Singaporeans right? So who are these millionaires? Singaporean or Singaporean Singaporean or residents or foreigners?

Seems to me like the vast majority of us are the ones who are living at the bottom of the heap or somewhere in between the poor and the middle-class. A very poor middle-class indeed.

The "super-scales" are probably not one of us.

I Can Feel Miss Boo Here At Home (I Am Not Kidding, As I Blog This Imaginatively, I Am Having A Bad Case of The GooseBumps, Real Goosy And Bumpy)
Being the real sleuth I am, I got absolutely not a trail on Miss Boo. Not a picture, not an age, not a single biodata.

I began to think what Nancy Drew would do under circumstances such as these. I thought real hard and then it hit me.

I sat down and sobbed my sorry heart out, what else.

Note: The rest of this is is all made up but the goose-bumpy thingy isn't
But wait, today as I sat on the couch watching the Tyra Banks show (Oh God, she had such an exciting show on how sex appeal or looks sells), I felt Miss Boo. I seriously thought I did.

I went into a seance.

Moi (shaking violently): "Yes, yes. Miss Boo! I feel you. Your presence. Where are you? Yes, in the kitchen. You are here. You are chopping fine parsely. Yes. I see it now. You are preparing dinner for your poor little old self. You are cooking Hainanese chicken rice? Far out, my favourite dish, what do you know!"

Moi(suddenly switching mode): "Wait! I sense something here. On the couch. Yes Miss Boo. You are sitting pretty here. Something is happening. Oh Lord! I see someone! What is "he" doing here? O My God! Oh My God! (wakes up from seance)"

Stay tuned for another exciting episode of "Nancy Drew: The Mystery Of Miss Boo Ah Chiang" where we will try to answer the unsolved question of : How did you die, Miss Boo?

Confrontation
I confronted Auntie Galen yesterday. It was most opportune as she and I happened to cross path at home.

I asked if she knew what those mud-stained flaks in the washer were coming from. I already have two postulates of my own. One, they had been the result of previous washes which got stuck somewhere inside the washer. Two, the flaks were really the grime and gunk inside the washer after those few years of wear and tear.

Guess what Auntie Galen's reply was. Dead cockroaches and lizards.

And I do know for a fact, she has a terrific voice and way of speaking which shuts out what you are trying to put across to her. So I have to raise my voice a few octaves just to compete.

She just won't listen to you. She insists on her own point of view.

I mean I am certainly not lying.

It Is More Than This
If physical lust and sex were the be all and end all, I could do it with almost anyone.

Even that male mannequin (spell this too, Spell Cast) or inflatable doll with developed genitalia or even the geminoid (human robot) who look, talk, walk and just do about anything as well as its human originator.

If I wanna fuck somebody, I got to develop feelings first. Feelings, then love, then attraction, then touch, then FUCK! Get it? Fucktard?

This Sporting Facility Has A Connection

Linguistic Corrections
First I should have written :"......did she have long flowy tresses...." and then I spelt "Degeneres" incorrectly. Sorry Ellen. It was a typo.

Finally it should have been : "Who were you, Miss Boo?"

Just thought someone may care.

More Air-Routes
I have counted no less than 3 stadia which have the air-planes droning over a flypast. All three are located within reach of each other so I suppose in combo, they are ONE HUGE AIR-BASE for our flying crew.

Laugh If You Wanna But It Isn't A Laughing Matter
Yesterday's blog may have been a funny take on Miss Boo, the deceased ex-owner of this flat.

But more frightening and scary is the fact that there are prolly a lot more singles (in whatever manner and for whatever reasons) out there who are suffering the same fate as Miss Boo.

The circumstances surrounding her death and her plight in the distribution of her asset.

Who can she will it to if she doesn't want it to be divided among her kin as this asset can only be willed to related persons?

For unrelated persons, there is the more complex process of share transfers and a minimum age is required.

We may all laugh now but wait till this hits us some time or another.

Nancy Drew: The Mystery Of Miss Boo Ah Chiang

The Mystery Of Miss Boo Ah Chiang
Who is she? For sure, she isn't alive. She is as dead as a toad in a well of hot boiling water.

And with a family name like that, Boo, you can imagine the whole fucking place I am staying at could actually be haunted. Boo! Mua ha ha ha ha.

When she lived, how was she like? Did she have one nose, one mouth, two eyes and two eye-brows? Or was she deformed?

Was her hair cut short or did she had those long flowy tresses?

Did she have a family? What happened? Why was someone (methinks it was an estate agent...gosh don't these people strike you as sneaky and scummy too?) dealing with the deceased on behalf of her estate?

Ok, ok, so they may be related but what was the relation?

How old was she? Was she pretty? Or was she ugly like Betty? Did she have plastic surgery like the rest of them or was she just all natural and authentic, every ounce of her?

Did she look like Oprah (ok ,ok, so I exaggerate but she could be mixed right?) or was she more like Ellen or Martha Stewart or Maggie Q?

How was she like? Was she a dominatrix or was she a subservient and passive doormat?

Above all, how did she die? Did she die from old age or an illness or an accident?

Was she slumped dead on the couch in front of the television set while watching an episode of "Desperate Housewives" (ok, ok, so I exaggerate here again...afterall she did die some years back)? And this is the same couch I sit to watch "Ellen Denegneres".

Or was she murdered?

If she was murdered, who did the murdering.

Galen?

He did buy the flat from her estate and the housing authority must seriously be nuts up there in their heads if she still comes through as a corpse owning the place.

Doesn't that then make the whole darn place haunted?

Is her spirit still here?

Does that explain why there was a "getai" nearby recently (even though this was only like the fifth month of the lunatic lunar calendar and not the hugely popular 7th month of the Hell spirits?) to commemorate her death anniversary maybe?

Didn't the performers sing like they were some ghostly spirits themselves? Even their make-up look palely ghostly too!

Were they appeasing her haunted spirit or was she just a SNORT WHORE who needed her daily shot of adrenalin?

All these unanswered questions and more.

I found myself turning into Alfred Hitchcock's "The Three Investigators" for the day. Ok. So maybe I am not a trio. Maybe Franklin Dixon's "The Hardy Boys"? All right. So I am all alone. A solo. Carolyn Keene's "Nancy Drew?

Tune in for the next exciting episode of "Nancy Drew: The Mystery Of Miss Boo Ah Chiang" where we will try to answer the mystery of : WHO ARE YOU, MISS BOO?

You Sell Stale Food Too?
So they thought the stale ingredients and food could escape my impeccable palate.

First it was the two last curry puffs displayed in the heating oven. I bit into one and it was all mushy and stinky.

Yesterday it was those small shelled shrimps in a pack of fried noodles that had that weird fishy taste, you just know they were going bad.

And today, the fried seafood rice was really stinky, I left behind a good portion of it.

And you thought I was a gourmand?

You Are Looking For A Man Too?
Some gall wrote me this: "I wanna be happily married. I am looking for a man...."

God, woman! Ain't we all?

This Is What GayDom Should Be All About
A few more video clips grabbed my attention yesterday.

They were some Japanese (or Korean), Taiwanese(I think) and local gay productions.

Of the last I can't confirm. The movie apparently had a twist where the gay dude was being psychoed into liking a woman by his mother - sounds like electro-convulsive therapy to me.

Like "Eternal Summer", "Crystal Boy" was superbly shot.

I mean it had a really mean storyline to begin with.

Two best of school friends, both basket ballers. One got a shirt for his friend's birthday and before you know it, they were horse playing and knocking each other out and for that fleeting moment on the bed, their eyes locked into a more than "friendly" gaze.

Cutting through to the next scene, the two of them were sitting in the school laboratory late at night. One was confiding and crying (I couldn't really hear the audio here) until both were suddenly embracing in the heat of the moment and rolling on the floor before being caught red-handed by the school's caretaker.

I think Asian gay movies reign supreme.

They have an all-natural plot and an all-natural development. A friendship,a relationship, trust and love, mutual care and concern before the sex kicks in.

That is what makes for a sensitive and realistic portrayal of what true love should be.

I mean I can have sex (and physical lust) with just about anybody but in the longer term, what holds is really this.

Kudos to the Asian gay movie industry. I think they have elevated gay art to a new level.

SinGAYpore - We Are A Reality

SinGAYpore - We Grow Our Own Food Crops - We Are Self-Sufficient
Do you know what else we are gonna do on SinGAYpore?

We are gonna be a kinda Banana Republic. We will be growing herbs, spices, fruits, vegetables, and keeping our own cattle. A population of a couple of hundred or more can't be that difficult to feed right?

I reckon this is better than sweeping up the fallen leaves, twigs, angsana pods and rain-tree legumes here. Far, far better.

I rather pick up mangoes or chempedak anytime. Don't you?

So Many Air-Routes For Our Skies?
I swear the planes are following me wherever I go. First I see and hear them at the seaside. I am not even spared at the stadia where I do my runs. Right where I stay now, they are also hovering above.

Does that mean there are so many air-routes in our skies?

Don't Touch This
Here are more reasons why our savings plan for retirement should be left alone.

It is already an almost illiquid asset, what with a minimum sum needed to be set aside, only to be paid out monthly over 20 years when the prequisite age is reached. If we don't kick the bucket by then, we had better be sure we have dependants who can inherit this.

Imagine how tight this can be for someone who has a genuine emergency need.

As proof of how meagre this savings plan can be for some, mostly due to the one sole reason of low wages, the Top-Up scheme had been in place where the children can top up their parents' account.

What if the child is single? Who is gonna top up his when he gets old and finds himself in a similar predicament?

Mozzies On Heat Too?
Oh Gosh! It seems that humans are not the only species on earth who is feeling the heat. Even the mozzies are not spared. In this case, the dengue fever virus-bearing female Aedes mosquitoes.

Another prime example of how Gall-animal species seems to be the one who is always onto something nasty.

Buzz off, Galls!

What You Talking About?
Have you ever found yourself in a "communication" where the other person seems intent on asking some pre-conceived questions, without really listening to you?

Did you have to repeat yourself over and over again and even then, the other person seems to be stone-deaf to what you were trying to put across?

Was the other person very loud which seems to drown out your answers and the only recourse you have was to be even louder?

Did the other person just cut in even when you haven't finished what you wanted to say?

Congratulations! Welcome to the world of communication here in Singapore! The absolute pits!

I Ain't Disposing A Corpse Inside These Rubbish Chutes, So Please, Can We Have Them Bigger? Or Else......Some Other Alternatives?
If you didn't already know (as if you and I didn't), the rubbish chutes at our public housing are so small, nothing seems to fit.

I had a vertical multi-layer and multi-peg hanger which was just a tad too big for the chute and I am so sorry I had to chuck it away unconventionally.

There isn't even a bulky (not that this was in anyway bulky at all)-items disposal bin somewhere.

Ah! Well! Another Connection - Does That Mean All Your Friends Are Capable People?
So you may ask: What is so bad about a woman working at the orphanage being romantically linked to the runner?

Well, for one thing she behaves like she is the 2nd in charge (and she is). She barks orders and has a BIG say over many, many things. In fact when I was out with a boy the last time (and please, I wasn't the least bit interested in this boy except that I took him out for a walk-around as part of being friends with an "orphan"), her majesty's permission and consultation was needed many, many times.

Not forgetting that she actually assigned me a troublesome and really irritating Indian gall.

And as usual, women and men do have different ways of running things.

I can't see eye to eye with many things that are going on around the orphanage.

So I discontinued my service - it is that simple.

Now I Know The Gays (And God Knows Who Else) Are Mumbling Something Behind My Back
Like maybe I am kept.

At this age? Drop dead folks.

Perhaps some have gone round my old neighborhood and have noticed Uncle Benji (who is in his sixties and as you know, the buyer of my flat) and thought this was IT.

Stupid foolish idiotic GAYS.

And that if I adopt a kid, it is for sexual reasons.

As usual, the gays show themselves to be shit. They, like so many others, can't think a fart deeper into any issue.

Now, the second I have to really defend.

If I ever adopt a kid, he is gonna be age 10 at least. And this will be the conventional routes of an orphanage or an adoption centre. As his orientation can't be determined, I can't possibly be doing this to him.

However, if I am adopting a "kid" (more likely of an older age group, say from 15-16 years of age onwards?) from the gay circle and it is known he is gay, that is a different story altogether.

He will be more like a godson, than an adoptive son.

If nobody can still see this, the gays should have the Nazis exterminate them. If the Nazis don't, I will.

STUPID FOOLS!

Stop Tampering And Tinkering

Tampering And Tinkering With Our Retirement Funds Are Not Allowed
At first, it was age 55 and you could withdraw the whole entire savings of yours (which truly should be yours as it is a sum total of you and your employer's contributions).

Then it was age 55, plus a minimum sum to be kept aside till age 62, before a monthly stipend is meted out for another 20 years (assuming you live to be that old).

So what is it with an extension till age 65?

One gets a feeling that like a run on a bank, there is an inability to fulfil all the withdrawal obligations, that is why.

And what business of yours is it that you should take hold of money that isn't even yours in the first place? Save for we all know to be in the scheme of "money makes the world go round" thingtummy.

A savings plan which pays a measly return anyway, once you account for inflation.

And now to with-hold it even longer.

Tampering and tinkering are not allowed.

Surf's Up

What's Happening To Me?
Oh My Lord! I didn't get my numbers right again this time. I must be thinking of the number of sexual partners I have had up to date. What was I thinking? As usual, being the TRUE-BLUE contrite jolly good old chap that I am, I am gonna rectify this wrong.

So please, exorcise moi! That UN figure for SinGAYpore should be 193rd(I think).

Eat your heart out, the Republic Of China!

SinGAYpore - It Is Gayer And Fresher And Newer
And by the way, don't you think this is MORE THAN AN EXCITING PROPOSITION?

I am beginning to think of all those fresh new taglines I could tag it with.

Like: SinGAYpore - a wholly-owned subsidiary of Singapore Inc (nah, this sounds so commercial right?). Or SinGAYpore - the Republic of Singapore?

Maybe: SinGAYpore - it is more than the sum of Singapore or SinGAYpore - Home Of Singapore's Outcasted Young Gay Criminals.

Only Young Hot Male Criminals Allowed In
And yes we are only allowing young hot male criminals in. Criminal males between the ages of 14-24 with the exception of the rulers of course, which of course comprises moi. TADA.

Well, if the clubs do it, I don't see why we can't. Anyway, I reckon by the age of 25, if they were not already worn down by their criminal acts or status (unlike the die-hards), they would have got settled down with some GALLS. The WIMPS!

So sorry, "Ladies' Night", if we sound ageist as well. Take your patronage somewhere else, I always say.

The Women's Charter, What Else?
Of course I take issue with women's groupies, whatever groupies they are. I mean it is in their charter that a marriage is only recognised between a man and a woman in the eyes of the law.

So instead of focussing on all those trivias, why don't they do something about this. It is their charter after all.

So don't you get it or do you? It is within your purview and power to change things. GALLS!

The Same Slippery Slope As The Heteros
But then again, if GAYS were granted the same rights, I can forsee many of the same problems that the women and men are going through.

Divorce, division of matrimonial assets, gold diggers, etc, etc.

So I can't really say if this is gonna be a good thing or not.

Did You Just Accuse Men Of Being Sexist?
Well what about movies with titles like "Incubus'? Why arent there movies titled "Succubus" instead?

Better still, "Gaycubus". Everyone has to be represented right? Isn't this representational democracy?

This is like so sexist. As usual.

The Founding Of SinGAYpore, By Sir Moi?
But once SinGAYpore is founded by ,who else, Sir Moi, all this is gonna change.

No more black or white, coffee or tea (or me?), ying or yang , penises or vulvas, politicans or criminals, teachers or sanctimonious preachers. It is all gonna be in shades and hues and in-between - the grey area.

Gosh, no wonder I have chosen my blog motif to be our founder (although this is a white man).

That is like so deja vu now.

More Porns Like This Please
There are porn and there are porn. But the one moi watched on a weekday morning was such a piece of art.

It was a Japanese make and featured an all-male Japanese cast. Young, virile and very good-looking. The kind who were in college or something. I mean with guys like this and the kinda powerful acts they were putting up, moi came again and again. What do you expect?

The story revolved around some island resort (sounds a lot like what is gonna happen if SinGAYpore is founded) they were holed up in and for 7 days (hence its movie title), they were indulging in some really hot sex.

It has some good storyline and the scenes were graphically portrayed but very tenderly and very very slowly. And they were acting out like among friends or buddies. It wasn't just WHAM, BAM AND SLAM action.

That was what made it stand out and moi stayed up all morning to watch it, though I couldn't finish it eventually. I was forced to leave in the pouring rain.

But that is another story all together.

Bugger Off
Yes I have been ignoring all those drop-dead gorgeous hunks (or otherwise). Drop dead, gouge-your-eyes gorgeous hunks (or wateva).

I mean if I have been snubbed, what do you want me to do? Be snubbed again?

Bugger off, retards!

Now Here Looks Like A Real Scheming Retard
Speaking of retards, I have confided in Keagan about how I am actually living with one. Namely Galen! He has real scheming looks if you ask moi.

I mean he has been hounding moi for the room rental even thought this is like a every 14th or 15th day of the month kinda difference. He would text moi or pound on my door. And he hasn't and aint gonna repair my bedroom's door lock. And this isn't even his house to begin with, that's why!

It is bad enough he mumbles under his breath, he can't communicate. Worse, when he does open his mouth, words just don't tumble out right. The tone, the language, the choice of words and the content.

What a real retard!

It Is Like That Here
Well the culture is a bit like that here. People don't have very nice things to say. I don't blame them but hey, I ain't no punching bag either. Take it out on the government or some unsuspecting passers-by. Not moi.

The womenfolk is worse.

So to survive here, I have begun to speak like them. When in Babel land, be like a Babel.

WOW! Noodles!
With a name like that, you would expect its noodles to be REALLY wooing or WOWING. But it just doesn't serve noodles. It has rice menus and burgers too.

The char-siew wonton ramen it served up was a cold dish, or so I thought. After I polished it off, I enquired and it turns out it wasn't supposed to be. Someone forgot to dip it in hot soup after it was dipped in cold ice. That chef should have his head chopped off!

I will sue you for leaving me out cold like tat!

I Am Not Laying My Life On The Line For You Man
One thing I am very sure of. I ain't no serving the Singaporeans (if they are really us) I see around me.

The young or the old. Male or female. Gays or straights or bis. It doesn't matter.

Certainly not in any capacity as an opposition and not even as a pro-establishment player. A world of self-absorbed individuals.

It just simply ain't worth it!

International Political Stage
The world's a political stage where international collusion and collaboration take hold for political staging, political management and political survival.

The Bible According To Who?

Apologia
I know all my fans out there have been waiting in earnest for some of the blogs moi has been promising. Blogs like the time I was in La-La-Land or those travelogues and that poem on silhouettes at the central catchment reserve.

I will get round to writing them but there are more pressing events to write about. Events like the following:

Matriarchy - Burn Baby Burn!
The idea of a matriarchy has been floating around. A government by women.

We have seen some of them in action both at the governmental and corporate levels. And we also remember how some have vanished into thin air under a cloud of shame or disapproval amid scandals.

Powerful women leaders have even declared war. The Falklands War for instance.

So I say we can give it a try. One term (of five years) is prolly morethan enough. And if they don't prove to be any better than the men, I suggest we rip their skirts, burn their lingerie and bras, stake and grill them over a slow fire.

A HoopLa Over "Ladies Night" But What About More Pressing Concerns Like Sexual Exploitation And Human Trafficking
I sympathise with the ladies over 35 who were refused free cover drinks on the bases of their ages. It is certainly ageist.

But I cannot see how this issue would be a primary concern or if it even merit any attention over other more pressing issues. Issues of women being exploited and made into sex objects in almost every imaginable manner or trafficked like some human cattle for the sex trade.

Shouldn't you be taking up the cudgels here instead?

More Sacrileges
If you thought my blog on those pretty biblical angels sacrilegious, think some more. Look, it can't be as sacrilegious as the sacred institution of marriage is. This is so sacred now, it is almost extinct.

In fact, let me re-write the story thus:

The Tale Of Sodom And Gonorrhea Retold Again
Two pretty angels with black eyeliner running across their eyelids, thick black mascara fluttering and their red-hot pouty lips smacking, wandered into town after a long hard journey.

They were tired and they were effeminate and hey, they were looking for a good hot massage!

One Pretty Angel said to the other: "Oh God Duffy! I am so tired! The weather is hot, my feet are aching and most of all, my body yearns for a good rub-down if not my arse! (Eyes dilating and twinkling)

The Other Angel turned to Duffer and said: "Well yeah! Aren't we all? You think I don't want groupie hippie sex? Question is - can we find it? I am so fucking horny!' (Looks yearningly beyond the desert horizon)

But what do you know, King Herod didn't issue permits for massage parlours. The blue squad team did.

The same people who also hold the licenses for who gets to own explosives. Now why would that be in their jurisdiction is beyond any ordinary citizen's comprehension, but hey, this is the Bible and who knows who wrote it.

As they rolled up their pretty white togas up to their hips and treaded daintily among the riff-raff of a crowd that had gathered to watch them, the spectacle, they ran into a bunch of sodomites.

The sodomites with curly frizzy Afro hair-dos and tight-fitting toga thongs with bulges so huge, you could make out who among them has the thickest, fattest and longest boner. And guess what, they were blacks.

This got the pretty angelic angels into a stir. The boners, not the color. A real hornet's stir.

So stirry and hornety (horny?), they were at once aroused. I mean their red hot asses were. They were butt-cheeks that had been ripped open many, many, many times before from all the fisting other buggerers had been effing to them.

Both Angelic, Pretty And Effeminate Angels to one another : "Gulp! Drool! What boners these dudes have! Check them out! Oolala" (Tongues rolling out)

Being the sodomees that they were, they ASKED FOR IT even without the SODOMITES asking them for permission to ramp themselves into their buttholes. They were just asking for it, BIG TIME!

So what do you expect? They GOT IT!

The deserving pretty fucking whores!

So please, did you write the Bible? How do you know that those pretty angelic and effeminate angels didn't ask for a fucking good time?

Duh!

SinGAYpore, I Do Knight Thee The 143rd Nation Of The World
In my last blog, I should have written: "....make landfall, plant a flag......." This would have correctly conveyed the fact that I actually landed ashore to plant my very own SinGAYpore flag.

At least I have the courage to tell you where my mistakes are and rectify them. I am not some scummy politicans, remember?

Capitalist Mishappens
You won't believe some of the tales I am about to relate to you.

I have bought Num tees and I have bought Num tees. They all belong to the "L" category. All because of inconsistent production capabilities, a single mishappened "L" may just be too tight a fit for my body even if all other "L"s of the same cut are good fits.

It is like the denims I have got. One has a belt loop sewed flat on and I have to unthread it. Another has its back pocket threaded at its base so it is shallower than it actually is. That explains why my wallet falls out ever so often. Again it needs unthreading.

We have all had similar experiences with those chilli or ketchup perforated squeeze packs at fast-food joints, don't we? Packs without perforations or packs that simply can't tear at the perforation lines or if they could, they won't open.

The same with perforated packet drinks.

That tells you something, doesn't it?

The capitalist machinery can be seriously flawed at times.

More Connection Vagaries - I Am Like So Frustrated
Vegetable Farm hasn't been consistent with the Network connection. Sometimes I can. Sometimes I can't.

It is pretty much the same scene at this cafe I visited. It was a start-stop-start-stop kinda thingy. So I get dragged along for a very long time. Too long a time if you ask me.

More blogging vagaries for more connection vagaries.

An Artist's DreamWorks
Serangoon Gardens Village has become a sorta little retreat for me.

I enjoy walking the distance from home to there, in the glorious bask of the sun, stopping by the small park with its huge greenery and shrubbery which makes for a perfect landscape art piece.

Then there are the colorful and beautiful blooms in the frontyards of some of the houses lining the street.

There is food aplenty here though none is spectacular but I get to sit at the cafe to read my papers in peace. It would have been marvellously enthralling if I could blog or surf here, Internet surfing, that is, penning my thoughts and feelings.

It is the same with visiting those stadia and just feel the wind and sun on your back when you run free and wild. And it is quietly tranquil for thought and just pure admiration of the silence of the world, not the cacophany of idle human chatter.

Pure bliss.

More Connections
Not only do I think Jeffrey, my ex-classmate and now my investment property agent, is connected to that woman head of department of ABC all-GALL school, I also think that God-fearing, Bible-quoting, self-proclaimed, sanctimonious The False Redeemer, is also married to this other woman head of humanities department at XXY all-gall school.

In fact, Auntie Chan Moi and Hiro may also be related in some ways. Just like Galen is now occupying this flat who isn't in his name. It belongs to some unmarried Gall. Not sure what the connection is. Some of the neighbors here could be connected to him in some ways too.

Hey, I am not that dumb but then again I am not that smart either. *Smiles.

Another Day Of A Marathon Run?

Yes! I Am Finally Connected At Home And Late Into The Night
Vegetable Farm, whoever you are, thanks to you, I am now able to connect late at night.

Please don't stop now. that would be like severing the blood ties between us -the umbilical cord that binds the placenta to the foetus and the foetus to the amnion.

Thank you, once again.

What a moniker for a network, Vegetable Farm!

My Small Small World Of Blogdom
I am not dumb nor unseeing people. Otherwise Jesus wouldn't be in business.

I mean I have been observing all these people going round my small world of blogdom. The dude who runs the Internet centre, my big bro, the lady working at the orphanage who is rumoured to be romantically linked to the runner it seems and the lady beau of my ex-tenant.

Speaking of the last, this probably deserves a separate blog of its own. They reportedly got hitched, bought a house in the east coast and started a Fish And Chips cafe of which we are seeing quite a number of these days but the owners aren't them which makes you wonder if they sold out or they got swallowed by the Venture Capitalist.

And I can't confirm this but my ex-classmate who is doing my investment property could possibly be the hubby of this lady heading a department in an all-girls' school I visited once.

I didn't exactly have very good words about her in front of Jeffrey. Sorry!

Another Sodom And Gonorrhea Twist ?(Spell This, Spell Cast)
Pretty scary yeah? I mean what if these guardian angels weren't really angels in the first place. They were just some pretty effeminate boys looking for a RED-HOT fucking good time?

I mean they were tired out after a long journey, they wanted a massage but there weren't any masseurs back then. Instead there were sodomites looking for sodomees and guess what, these guardian angels fitted to a T what the sodomites wanted - RED-HOT asses with so much fisting going on, the sodomees were HELL-BENT on being sodomised?

Think about that.

Reeling In And Cleaning Out
You know, all those paper towels I have been reeling in have proved to be more than just useful.
I mean now that I am actually a vagabond of sorts, trugding my sorry arse from one cafe or joint to another, just so I can connect and do all my internet stuff, they have come in real handy for moi to wipe away all that ketchup, grime, spills and gunk clinging themselves to the table tops or chairs.

In fact those establishments should thank moi for cleaning up their places cleaner than the cleaners engaged to do the job are doing.

They are almost spotless to a point.

Do I get paid for this?

Talk Shows' Absolutes
O God! Like Oprah the last time, Ellen is being screened two times a day. One in the morning and another in the evening. And I am watching both episodes.

This talk show is that good. I mean Ellen has all these fabulous guests sitting in on her show, some BIG CELEBRITIES who sing or act or is a guru of some sort. She has all these different segments featuring funny videos of animals or people. She does a phone-in chat sometimes after reading some mails and she has quizzes, interviews and performances.

Not that our very own morning talk show is so bad, it doesn't have an audience like moi. The two host and hostess are quite witty and funny and they do have a good assortment of guest stars on their show too.

The System Is Simply This : Just Do All That They Tell You To, Never Mind If You Have A Conscience
Well yeah, morning talkshow host. There is indeed a "system" here to speak of.

The system is just this: Do your twelve or fifteen years of education (give or take a few), get a degree, vote for the government, be a everyday zombie like the rest of them, build a career with THEM, start a family of three or more if you can afford it and you ARE IN FOR A FABULOUSLY SUCCESSFUL life here in Singapore.

Be a zombie? Build your life with THEM? Not on your screwy life, asshole.

How About A New Island State Called SinGAYpore?
By now, I realise how much of a self-starter I am.

I mean I guess I should really emulate the early navigators of our times, the Magellans and the Columbuses. So I should just swim out to sea, spot a landshore somewhere, plant a flag and name it SinGAYpore.

My very own islet for pure gay romp and rumble. And yes, we are all naturists and naturalists.

And you guessed it: No GALLS allowed.

Any nation with one island (or islet) too many who would like to cede one for MOI's conquest?

Oo Semantically Incorrect?
Hey I just realised it should be "hare-brained" and not "hair-brained" like I wrote in one of my blogs. And I didn't spell "gigolo" right when I wrote "giggolo". Spell Cast, you have something to say about this or don't you?

You try writing a piece of good work amidst all that racket going on all around you. Especially if there were lady magpies near you.

Like today. Chirp! Chirp! Squawk! Squawk! Chatter! Chatter! That is all they ever do.

It would be trying under the circumstances, no?

Bronzed And I Look Like An Africana From The Safari Swamplands
After almost a week of running half naked, from the waist up of course, DUH, you can imagine the glorious sun-kissed bronze look moi has gotten.

Coupled with the brown tinges in his hair (but not the gold streaks which he had actually wanted), I thought I make for a good pin-up for a Mandom cologne act in the Sahara desert.

Pretty stark and pretty tanned.

I Would Die For A Little More SunShine And That Hair Of Yours
This is what I told someone.

In a nation of jet blacks, the few gold or gold streaks stand out. So would the opposite hold in a nation of blonds and blondes.

Just like the people further up north, who see so little of sunshfine and daylight back in their own homes, make their pilgrimage here for their summer vacation.

I must say we have all that glorious sunshine here but we are all making so little use of it.

Freaking crying shame!

Quirky Quirks
You know some of the quirkiness we all display.

Like I have three Adidas watches of different colors - blue, red and black - and to make sure all three run to the exact pinpoint accuracy of a second, I had to place all three together and press the reset button ALL AT ONE GO!

Yes RipCurl has all these colorful and beautifully designed bod shorts but almost all come with ONLY ONE back pocket.

You know what we need two back and side pockets for? One for the wallet, one for the hanky (yes I am one of those eccentric dudes who still carry a hanky), one for paper towels and one for the bunch of keys and mobile all rolled into one.

The essentials to surviving the URBAN JUNGLE.

A MidNight Tete-A-Tete

Keagan called and here is part of what we spoke to each other

Keagan: Some retard just approached me outside the train station.

Me: Retard? How retard was retard? Was he like having his lips curled up in a swirl? Or did his fingers and toes grow inwards?

Keagan: Anyway, I think I have found Mr Right! He is someone who works at Mcdonalds. But he isn't mine yet.

Me: Why? Does someone else own his ass?

Keagan : Complete Silence . Not even a whisper.

(I assume he is trying to figure out what I am saying here and so to keep the whole conversation rolling, I just went on)

Me: Anyway....lucky you lucky him...it is JUST SO EASY for you to hook up with somebody. It takes me ages and my biological clock is ticking away. Can you hear it? Tick Tock, Tick Tock.

Keagan: I have given up talking to you.

Me: I hope you have his number. Tell me you do. Because that is the first step to hooking up for life.

Keagan: No I don't, but I know where to find him.

Me: Where? the Mosque? (That is because his new beau is a Moslem) Ok ok. McDonalds rite? Isn't that the place that sells burgers and chicken roll overs?

(The whole phone conversation went completely dead thereafter. Oops I did it AGAIN, didn't I)

Botched Blogs

A Summer's Flurry Of Movie BlockBusters
I have caught "Fantastic Four" and I will be keeping an eye out for the other upcoming movies this summer like "Harry Potter And The Order Of the Phoenix", "The Simpsons" and "Transformers".

Run With The Heat
Well yeah, this could be yet another remedy for being on heat! Run for your life, topless, in the blazing mid-afternoon sun! That will help you take off some of yer heat!

Truth is, I am not showing off my body (not that it is anything near those drop-dead gorgeous hunks' wash-board abs) but I hate those tanlines, what with my dri-fit tanks clinging on to a wet and sweaty bod.

When I walk out of the shower after a gym workout, it makes me look like I am wearing something when I don't of course.

I Am Connected!
I am actually able to get a good connection today. Amazing. And in the comfort of home.

The Star Hubba people have got back to me and guess what they said? They don't think that at this point in time, it is necessary for them to do any upgrade for the routers.

Gosh, I could just walk to this cafe and blog my heart out. No need to spend on transport and food. But guess this isn't gonna happen anytime soon.

Please, Let Us Get A Grip On Our Food And Beverage Scene
Tasty juicy satay meat but such small blobs, it ain't worth the 40 cents it costs.

Long queues forming for most of the Hokkien mee stalls. But really, is this warranted? I seriously don't think so. They are usually so soggy and tasteless. Even the belachan tastes like that.

Nothing like the Old Airport Road one.

Can you imagine making your way to all these places, only to be disappointed time and again?

Another Low-Rise Living Peril
Well, this is the dumpling festival.

The last time the temple celebrated some event, it was noisy enough but yesterday and today, a huge stage had been erected near moi's block which extends all the way to the basketball court.

There were joss burning in ignormous cages, smogging the whole place up and the grass verges were burned charcoal black. Not to mention charred debris flying around.

There were opera plays going on stage and that loud-hailer of an auction booming nearby.

Gosh, I can't imagine what is gonna hapen when the Hungry Ghost Festival swings by.

Need I say more?

No Imagination, No Creativity, No Nothing
I hope we haven't embarked on too many mis-steps that are inrevocable or irreversible.

Sigh, guess we didn't have sufficient brainpower or foresight ourselves and we were lapping up all that the "experts" were throwing our way.

Need I say even more?

By-Ways, Free-Ways, HighWays And BeltWays
Hey, look what I found out.

Washington DC has a beltway. I am not sure if this has solved its traffic woes but remember this is a small and concentrated kinda locale. I believe it would be different should it be magnified on a larger scale like an island (or islet) like ourselves.

In case you are wondering, a beltway is a ring road, the kind I was envisaging for ourselves.

Ring roads (which would be our beltway highways) running round the whole island (islet), with one running concentric to another should one gets jammed up at any point in time.

Worth a look and examine, I thought.

Really Entertaining Talk Shows These
I enjoyed almost every episode of the Ellen Degeneres show, like I did Oprah and her gang and the Martha Stewart Show.

I laughed at the beauty therapist recommending rose petals under the arm-pits for body odor control and grapefruits for breast enlargement. This is so HILARIOUS!

I say, let us bring on some more of the talk shows, this time featuring male hosts like Richard Simmons and the rest.

Botched Up Blog
I am beginning to warm up to the Tyra Banks Show. One episode featured a singer talking about her botched plastic surgery.

Please I know I wrote something like "collagen jabs" and people are like thinking I must have so many of them.

Here let me put this on record : one eyelid op, one lipo, one derma, one suturing, one collagen jab and one laser. That is about it.

Do you think I deserve to hang for these?

What Price Beauty?
All the after-effect pain, the dressing, the wounds, the bandage, the pain-killers. Aren't these enough to kill us all?

So why are we still doing it?

For the sake of love, finding love and being the sex play things for the men in our lives (because they like big boobs, big cocks, beautiful body, beautiful faces) and because there is this huge media play-up about being rich, beautiful and famous.

Otherwise, you will be an outcast.

As I said, every dude has to find his own natural body contour. Nobody can go on looking like all those hunky dudes in glossy fashion mags. As long as it is naturally defined, that is about it.

When will all this ever stop? Can it even?

Look Here Busters, We Can't All Be Behaving And Living Like You Do (Read The Above)
We are not only not your sex playmates and playground, we are also not for your economic, cultural and lifestyle dominion.

Geddit?

At The Drop Of A Hat
If I can quit smoking just like that without any averse effects, sell my car or just up and sell my whole place, leaving me with little in material belongings (at first but hey I can simply tear up all those new stuff I am having now as well) and flitting like a vagrant from asylum to asylum, or lose all that weight JUST LIKE THAT, think what else I am capable of.

Some of these things just mean nothing to me. JUST SOME SHITTY CAPITALIST PIGS' doing.
I can think of one other thing I might just drop like a hat. Not indulge in gay sex or talk to any gays or bis or wateva.

Not to turn straight. But just to turn my noses up at the whole bunch of snooty, narcissitic gay hunks (or otherwise) hanging around the pools, the gyms and god-knows-where-else the gays and bis preen themselves.

In fact I haven't been speaking with anyone lately and not anymore for some time to come yet.

Let them do the chasing around (though I seriously don't think I will have that many young, hunky, sensible, conversational and nice-looking suitors)

Moi is tired and I wanna do the REJECTION for a change.

Yawn! I am really so tired and sleepy..........ZZZZZzzzzzz

Movie Marathon

Shrek 3 - The Movie
This movie is an absolute delight and it made me regret that I hadn't caught its two prequels, though watching both are NOT prequisites for understanding the third instalment.

The whole movie was made even sweeter when moi had a free ticket to the show, compliments of some branded carton drink promo.

There were so many of our favourite fairy tale characters here, each breathing its own life into the plot and there are so many of the modern lingo to go along with the movie too.

The plot revolves around how an ousted Prince Charming sought the help of all the other cast-away villains in our fairy tales (Captain Hook, Wicked Witch, Wicked Queen , Wicked StepMother and so on) to invade Far, Far land and claim their places in the storybook endings.

When they finally did, they had to contend with Shrek, who, upon the death of old froggy king of Far, Far Land, had gone to get Arthur to become the interim King in his place.

There were many moments of gall power, the butt-kicking heroines of the likes of Cinderella, Snow White, Fiona, her mom and Sleeping Beauty.

It would have you laughing from the beginning to the end like I did.

As Nature Dictates
If we had been so adamant to help save the environment, we could have developed according to the natural laws of nature and its geography.

Think : land and sea breezes, natural ventilation, sunlight and scenic, tranquil views of greens and water if we had built closer to coast.

Absolutely no need for air coolers.

Don't we all also remember the old days of how a left-hander is, according to some social and religious mambo-jambo, the work of the devil.

Even my nephews are not spared and my sisters had even tried foisting on them the notion to write with their right hands instead.

So how can a natural inclination or pre-disposition, much like being gay, be supressed, opressed and whipped into a common mould, just like that?

Blinkered as blinkered can ever be.

As Natural As It Should Be

Unbelievable Unconnection
Different WiFi spots and their various service providers actually bring on various degrees of difficulties in logging in.

Here I am at another WIFI hotspot and believe it or not, it is taking me almost half my time here merely trying to log on.

Something must be terribly wrong somewhere.

It Is Almost Perfect For A While But Not For Long
It is also unbelievable how many of us think that our future is gonna be one bright spark FOREVER.

As I said, everything is just for the moment now. While you are young and while you have something or a skill the COMMERCIAL bloodhounds are after, you are ONE with the economy and everything seems fine.

Once you have outlived your usefulness and yourself, YOU ARE SENT AWAY to fend for yourself.

Just remember this, people.

You are dumped and discarded just like the styrofoam cups at a cafe thereafter.

Short Sling Of A Problem
Remember the albatross around my neck I was writing about with regard to my sling bags. Well I shortened the slings and it is much, much better now.

For sure, I am not being weighted and dragged down, as a matter of speaking.

Natural Order Of Things
One fine morning whilst on my way to the fitness club on Orchard Road, I spotted many school kids attired in all black and some red.

They had these "Achievement Awards" thingy scribbled on the back of their tees and it was some 2007 Secondary 2 camp they attended. God knows what they were doing here in town, except that I am pretty sure they were trying to achieve something of some sorts, going by what they were wearing.

This is now what kids are all pre-occupied with. Scoring points for their portfolio so they look good on their resumes. They will only do things if they have some value of some kind so that these kids can forge ahead.

Not doing things from their hearts.

While I am all for exposure , I am not sure if grading is gonna help. Much like grades for exams and projects. A simple pass/fail seems like the way to go. And a simple acknowledgement of their work seems even more sane than grades, points and GPAs.

And to round off my discourse, if a guy is naturally inclined to like another guy, then that is the natural order of things.

Let us not try and make things any other way.

How Do Guys Compare With Galls?
Especially for the younger set who is better schooled. All they need to steal your hearts is to flash their toothy wide grin and never mind if they are a little scrawny and all, they appear all natural and happily oblivious to many of the cunningness.

Galls, on the other hand, try to hard. They are so much more animated and almost all have that sly look about them.

Totally un-natural, not to mention their make-up which makes it only worse.

A Happy PM Can Do Far Better Work Than One Who Isn't
These was in essence what the current PM across the causeway had uttered on his re-wedding day after being a widower for some time.

I can't understand how the well-heeled who are fed well, live well and dress well (in fact, everything well), cannot do more good works than they are doing now.

And they still want some more?

Don't expect the rest of us who are scrimping most times to do any better than you.

Point, Click, Surf And Sip (Or So It Seems)
I have shot off an email to both the WIFI service provider and the cafe management.

I told them that I really liked their idea of a "point, click, surf and sip" thingy but to both of our great misfortune, none of these has ever materialised.

So I hope someone actually upgrade the routers to match the capability of my new lappy.

I hope they get the message, sooner than I can log onto their network.

A Better Living Deal
This estate is much like HV and has a moniker quite similar to it.

It is much quieter and well-spaced out. The people living here do seem to take a lot more pride in their gardens with very beautiful and colorful bloosoms growing in their frontyards.

I would far prefer living here than at the other stretch of living facing the central cathcment reserve.

More Food Gone Wrong
I have been flitting from one coffee-shop to another in this estate, sampling all the wan-ton noodles the town has to offer.

I am so sad to report that, by far, NONE has that authentic taste of the good old days.

But one stall here serves up reasonably good fried black carrot cake.

Many, Many Frightful Words In The Lexicon Of Our Own Politicians
If you had kept track of what some of the words have been tossed around by our local politicains, you would indeed have a bad case of rabies and shudders.

"Indoctrinate" and "fix" were just some.

Not to mention confirmation of how henchy the suck-ups are in our society when someone mentioned how a local corporate bigwig was shrewd enough to realise how his fortunes will turn out should he bet on a certain local dominant party.

And indeed he has. Just look at the ubiquity of his services and products everywhere here.

Why Not Turn Up The Coolers A Little?
I mean I have nothing against conserving the environment. But at least if you really wanna improve it, think up some truly-conserving and meaningful efforts. Not some token and nonsensical ones.

I mean we all know the two extremes of temperature we all experience here.

First there is that humid and hot weather hugging you tight in a wrap of sweltering summer sweat but once you hit the buildings inside, you have to don an equally figure-hugging but thick woollen sweater of some sort to keep off the severe winter colds.

Unpredictable Blogs For An Unpredictable Weather
Oh gosh! I have been able to get a connection but only at the park. So you can expect a lot more frequent blogs but that really depends on the weather again. As unpredicatable as the weather, as the saying goes.

Here Goes Another Round Of Scummage
Dogs? Doggy? Cats? Catty or moggy? Bugs? Buggy? Bitches on heat? Bitchy and heaty? (What? Again?) Politicians? Scummy? (Another round?) Teachers? Preachy and scummy?

A Spread Of A New Menu
Now that McDonalds has taken over KFC and even Pizza Hut in that sense, a kinda default takeover because one owns the other, you would expect that they would have their menus spread out and shared throughout their outlets.

But it hasn't happened and I guess it is a kitchen thingy. It is a good thing we can still get to eat the potato wedges KFC once served but at this McDonalds outlet near moi, it has all but vanished.

Besides the staples it is offering, Mcdonalds does have some pretty out of the way clever inventions once in a while. Its rice burgers, its Japanese burgers and its McFlurry.

Like Mcdonalds, we are beginning to see many different kinds of clever drink concoctions at places like SweetTalk (tho this is really a tad too icy and diluted), Mr Bean and even at our local hawker centres and neighborhood shops.

I mean you would have been looked upon as a madman if you had wanted soya bean milk mixed with grass jelly or papaya soya milk back in those days of the modern Stone Age we were living in. And in some ways, we still are.

Very nice. I mean the drinks, not the prehistoric times.

Get This "Back To Basics" Concept Right
Let me explain why bringing home a Cambodian kiddy (or whichever Third World for that matter) adoptee sounds like a bad idea that would destroy him sooner than the scums here can scoot off.

First, look at us. We are affluent (well certainly some segments are) and here, we are not short on any supply of material goods and luxuries to pamper ourselves with. But are we happy?

Look at all the en-bloc sales going on. But are some residents happy?

If a country is poor to begin with and that is the kinda standard throughout, nobody feels anything. But if within a country, there are huge and vast differences everywhere, people feel the pinch more so than anything.

So if you were brought up in a certain modern world,you would expect that kinda standard right? You can't regress and go back to the Stone Age.

When I mentioned "Back To Basics", I am advocating practical, well-designed and well thought-out modern public housing, not opulence or frills. Like women still playing a more traditional role at home rather than at a career, designing developments in tandem with its natural geography not skewing it. And so on.

How Can Public Places Be So Much Better Than An Individual's Private Living Space?
Some of our shopping malls and the fast food joints have proven to be refuge for certain kinda people.

People who actually find these places more conducive than their homes (if some of them even have homes to return to, in the first place, like moi) to snooze or shit in.

That is how bad the state of their homes can be.

Are we doing anything about this?

We Are All Scums To Some Extent Ourselves, So Fret Not, Scummies, AnyBody Would, Living in ScumLand As It Were
What have we bred here? People slutting, cosmetically surgerying, whoring, fashioning, sexing, drinking, binging and so on. All the excesses of a consumerist society. But are we still happy?

It doesn't take one with a degree in cosmetology to realise just how many of our folks here (not just celebrities, even the pretty ordinary folks among us) have gone under the knife.

You can just tell from the too nicely shaped doey big eyes, too nicely curved nose (but such atrocious nostrils really and the rhinoplasty can make it so parroty), too strong and firm jawlines and so on, to be able to tell who has and who hasn't.

From America to Bangkok. Almost every someone has done it.

I mean look at the foreign domestic maids out on their day off. They are all dolled up and dressed fabulously. Even their finger and toe nails are painted.

Slut Whores On The Loose - You Need To Be Doused With A Splash Of Water, Bitch
Look at this sweet young girl in a black, short maternity dress and equally short jeans short right up to her pubis attracting public attention with her beau.. Or this other girl rubbing herself all the way on this guy at the bus shelter.

What does that say about our young people in general?

Sex Playground And Playmates
And have poor countries and the poor become playgrounds and playmates for the rich and famous, either for the natives or for the foreigners?

I mean my first love, and I do love him very much SIMPLY because he was my first love, has such distinguished parentage (Mom is some BIG TIME academician at the university and DAD is some legal honcho in an MNC) but I can't help feeling I am just a sex playmate for him (the chalet, the groundsheets rolled out at the park) not someone he really cared about.

And were they there for the long haul even?

Not An Abscondment But A Lose-Out?
But there is a redeeming grace, scummies. If you leave now, we won't say you absconded, we will just say you lost out.

Not a bad deal, if you ask me, considering the scummage you have done to this place.

Bad Relationships And Friendships
While you are young, you are coveted for work and sex. If you are economically powerful, you are coveted for business deals. The list goes on.

If relationships are only made of these, humankind will be in BIG TROUBLE.

Whatever happened to good old relationships that are just relationships for relationship sake.

A Sudden Proliferation Of Blogs

The Network Is Speaking To Moi
Imagine the kinda monikers some of the people are having on the Network.

Sample these : "Kingdom Of God", "PornStar", "Don't Steal This Network", "Kelly Loves Pigs"

And there is always that "Lim" , "Linksys" or "SH-(numerals)" thingy. Sometimes there is the "House Of (Some Family Name)" connection as well.

Nice choice of names, people.

Banished, Exiled And Ostracised - I Am Beginning To Feel Like That Dude In "Eternal Summer"
Oh yeah man! I am really being banished and exiled to a park where I can finally connect and blog! Except for the glare and the swelterng summer heat, I am pretty fine with this location.

In fact it can be inspirational!

You can't gag me, BIG BLUBBER!

Scummies Of The Earth, Leave True Paradise (As The People Define This Themselves) Alone
I watched this clip on some TV show hostess visiting a school in LAOS. The school was really a shanty and ramshackled. The kids wore no uniforms as far as I can see and they were scruffy little kids. But those bright eyes and smiling faces can really break the most wooden of hearts.

All I can pray is this: Let nobody anywhere tell them that they should be like anyone of us if they are happy the way they are.

In fact this set me thinking if I should even wanna take home a Cambodian kid with me back home here. Can you imagine how spoilt, tainted and corrupted he is gonna be here? Do I want that? Wouldn't he be far happier where he is if he has nothing against his natural living surrounds?

Oo Mr President
I didn't say I didn't covet one top job in the country. And that is the presidency.

As the presidency is largely ceremonial, non-political (non-partisan too seemingly) and pays more than the premiership, I can see myself receiving foreign dignitaries, visiting foreign countries and winning over international friends to our cause and to our mission.

All for the good of our people.

The Science Of Shadows And Machines
I am beginning to understand why my room and in fact the whole darn place is so dark and gloomy.

This is another one of the perils of low-rise living (in addition to putting up with noise, the lack of security and privacy as well as with pests like rodents, cockroaches, mozzies, ants and what-have-you)

With the surrounding blocks of apartments and trees overshadowing you, you can perhaps plot the rising and the setting of the sun at various positions, just to track the long and short of shadows.

It is also what is happening with all my sling bags slung low near my hip. The weight of just a mere one and a half kilos or more of my lappy is killing me back.

This has got to do with the order of machines where a load is always lighter with a shorter sling. So a shoulder bag slung short over the shoulders will alleviate a heavy load.

This is another bit of Science for you.

What Goes On In The Club Scene
Going by Keagan's account, this Malay SPB stole SGD5000 cash from a white man at his house. Seems like the whitey had spare cash all over his place. This broke out into a fight at that foreign club when the two met and clashed.

In fact, Uncle Cabby had told me of drunken brawls over, what else, bitches, at some of the newer and bigger pubbing and clubbing joints in town.

Seemingly there are signs of our bobbies' presence which signals security patrols and the joints have been such huge draws, the older clubs in the other parts of town are seeing a diminishing enrolment.

Dog Taggy Nite Out
I like the idea of a dog-taggy nite out at the men's club. So I got myself one with my name inscribed on it. Even if I am not going to the special event anytime soon, at least it is gonna serve as a fashion accessory the good old-fashioned way.

Take This All Of You And Dunk In It - This Is Water Therapy

Ok Ok, Here Are More - Add This To the Menu Of Things Gone Terribly Wrong
Food Gone Wrong
For a plate of fried beef rice priced at SGD5.50 cooked and served up by some Chinese Nationals, I would expect something MORE THAN what I was bargaining for.

Instead what do I get? Shreds of roasted pork instead of chunks of beef. Bland, flat and that charred taste. And we have foreigners cooking and serving up our national dishes?

Semantics Gone Wrong
Well, I meant "tresses" when I wrote "trusses' but then again, a boo-boo like this is probably intended

Remedies For Bitches On Heat - Go Dunk Yourself In Some Water (Kraft's Oreos Video Advert)
God! I guess this is a fitting end to bitches on heat? And its panacea? I mean as moi was walking down the street to go have his brunch (yes, I have one proper meal a day only), it poured.

By the time I finished the mile to the kopi-tiam, I was soaking wet. But guess what, the heat is almost gone (I think).

If that is so, how come my fervent quest for a Man (or a Boy) hasn't really subsided?

Not that the burning furnace of a hell-hole I am now cooping up in has helped me any.

I am on HEAT AGAIN, meow-meow-caterwaul-BITCH ON HEAT!

Are You Redesigning This Place Or Not?
I am so sorry I have to say this. The estate where I am IS THE ABSOLUTE PITS.

You should see the amount of litter and throw-aways that pile up here - the walkways and the lift lobbies. I HAVE even witnessed faeces inside the elevator once. Not to mention the pigeon bombardments spotting the pathways You should see the kinda gunk clinging on to the walls everywhere and the kinda litter hanging from the window ledges of some of the places. YUCKITY YUCKS!

MY FUCKING GOD, I am living in PURGATORY for the holy innocents of the Kingdom of SCUMS!

Since I am storing away my shoes inside my bedroom now (gosh, no more space anywhere), I have taken to cleaning and washing the soles of all my footwear everytime before I step inside.

What a bitch, BITCH!

Improving Dental Hygiene
If I remember correctly, it has been more than a year since I last visited a dentist. Considering how my teeth had always been, this must truly be a TRACK RECORD.

I noticed my teeth has been holding up very well, perceptibly because I have taken to changing my toothbrushes after every few months of use.

You should see the kinda state some of my toothbrushes were in -bristles bristling and wearing away and gunk clinging on deep inside the bristles' spaces.

I have also switched brands - Oral B for toothpastes and for my toothies to brush my teeth with. The paste is made in the Netherlands.

I suspect one or several of these factors have contributed to my overall improvement in oral hygiene.

The List Just Goes On And On And On.......
Bitches on heat? Bitchy or heaty? Public housing? Scummy? Schools? Scummy? Trees? Treey? Movies? Movy? Public servants? Scummy? Politicians ?(again?) Scummy ?(again?)

Somebody Save Me! My Life Is In Grave Danger!
Methinks me life is in grave danger.

For some premeditated and inexplicable reasons, moi got a numbing jab which made it seems like a GAG order.

Then there are all those people and events that turn up right along the way where moi treads. Young teenage courting couples smooching everywhere and holding hands. Oldies speaking in tongues among themselves at the coffee-shops, which is always within my earshot and sounds like some HIDDEN SUBTLE subtexts.

Even when moi was in Bangkok, our Tourism Board was out on the streets and I got waylaid for some survey and there was a body lying on the ground with a blood trail.

Those places moi had leased for his creature dwellings also did seem like they were out of the ordinary.

What about those hotspots where moi blogs? They always do not seem to connect for some reasons and we know who controls them. I will even venture as far as to postulate that maybe even my electronic commuting were being intercepted and relaid.

I mean McDonalds has just closed its WIFI hotspots for migration of its servers to a different one, coincidentally, and the chain of cafes has ostracised moi's powerful blogging notebook.

Where does that leave moi to blog?

Save here in the park, it seems. Gosh, but the glare isn't helping moi to see very well on his tablet screen notebook.

These were just some of the agents and the agencies BIG BRUDDER has surreptitiously planted along the way JUST SO TO SCARE MOI INTO NOT BLOGGING ANYMORE!

You know what, I am so scared now, I have to wank 15 times a day?

How's that BIG BABBLER?

I Hate Mondays

I know some of you out there still didn't get the whole picture of what I was trying to tell you. So like Jesus, I am gonna put these to you in two parables.

Parable Of The Absconding Or Losing Lottery Operators
Let us say that in a lottery, there are about 100 winners (from the lst prize to the consolation prize winners) that would probably pay out some 3 million bucks.

Remember there are always far, far, far more losers than there are winners. Therefore, you can bet your two hairy rambutans, there would probably be about a million other losing bettors and let us say each betted ten dollars.

That would be 10 million and in an abscondment, only the 100 winners lose out but in a legal betting operation, 1 million bettors lose anyway.

The BIG difference is plainly just a change of type of operators - private versus public. But of course the public operators could mitigate this by saying that they have put back money to worthy causes and indeed they have.

But an effing whore like moi, would then wanna know who the beneficiaries are. Who and what are they benefitting? Is a more a case of redistribution and if so, is it even a fair one?

For example, our civil service does seem to be benefitting far more than other segments of the working population. It will come as a total shock to some of you that part of the profts your little business operaion is generating is being repatriated as tax and then channelled as income to our almighty administrators.

In other words, whatever small profits you are earning is being redistributed as income and bonuses to a fat and rich bureaucracy.

The Parable Of The Non-Saving Of Any Non-BioDegradable Thrash Bags
We all know we will not leave perishables and consumables out in an open thrash bag for too long. It not only invites smell but also pests.

Thus we bag, tie and dispose of it as soon as it is humanly possible.

Hence we still need those thrash bags.

Yes I Did Have Some Minimal Plastic MakeOver
I couldn't sleep the whole night yesterday. When I wrote about Colin, my ex-classmate in the school union, memories starting flooding back to moi.

Memories of how as a youth , I was actually bitten by the beauty bug buzzing all around moi. You know how it is like here. The girls are afflicted and even the guys, especially the gays. I would presume we would be the largest consumers of beauty makeovers and fashion whoring.

That include muscling. So I had some cosmetic surgery done.

I had a double eyelid op which left moi with bloodied swollen lids and I had to wear shades. Then I had derma-abrasion done, what with a really tough case of acne scarring and ravaging my face.

When it was only superficially better, I had suturing, collagen jabs and finally lasers. Even today, the improvements are barely just. Those deep scars are still showing.

Now the last op left me with mummification bandages wrapped all round my face and open pinkish facial abrasions that took quite a while to heal.

I even had lipo.

But I am glad that good sense had prevailed and I wasn't obsessed about my nose or my ears or a complete facial reconstruction. I could live with my facial features. I just couldn't live with being taunted as fat and as a scar-face.

Just as I still have that good sense not to pierce my tongue or my face or under my lips or a whole body or limb tattooing. That would be too painful and mutilating.

Body Scrub For You And Sorry No Rent
If it had to come to this I would do it. If rentboi had a bout of sex with his gf and then rented out his body to moi, I would insist he went for a thorough body scrub like the mandatory hisbicus scrub practised prior to all hospital surgeries.

God! And the rentbois really had no good reason to rent themselves out other than they needed the money to spend on enjoying themselves.

Help Begets Help As Does Charity Begets Charity
I don't see how as a kid growing up in poverty that my family had received handouts from any charitable pair of hands. Nobody rallied to our aid and we never asked either.

And if the gays thought I owe them because we are "affiliated", think again. You were not there when I needed you and you have been no support or help at all. In fact you could be as scummy and bitchy as anyone out there could be.

Good Enterprises Deserve The Prize Money
I am no ANTI-enterprise freak. I am all for enterprises that improve and build lives.

Certainly not the ones that we are seeing here.

Just as many others here think they are building and enriching our lives when in fact they are screwing and messing up our lives.

Look At Some Of Our Foreign Imports
The girls are unbelievably beautiful. So are some of the guys/gays. One suspects many have gone under the knife. One suspects further this is what have been brought in for procreational and the economy needs, without much thought of the dire consequences of course.

A garage right next to the cafe and those license plates are initialled "J". They are our regular garage workmen. No wonder we find ourselves fleeced at times. Worse this gaggle of dudes were speaking in loud dialectical tongues and expletives

Well Yeah, I Can Do Better At Other More Wistful Pursuits
By now you would have realised that I have mademy nth pilgrimage to this cafe, only to be turned away time and again by Moses with his burning staff.

Yes I do know I have time to "waste". But that does not mean I have to waste away my free time frustrating over a technical glitch in connection for long hours. I rather waste or while it away soaking up a glorious tan or basking in healthy but sweaty workouts and exercises.

The Mid Summer Heat

Ask Before You Actually Do?
It is kinda shocking people actually plonk their cuppa or their stuff on your table or a chair near you before they even ask if they could. Well a groupie of old hags did just that.

This is good breeding I suppose?

Not Only Was It A Scariest But Also A Most Expensive Dental Affair
Gosh Doc! If you asked me how I felt during the anaesthetic effects (and yes people, this is a name of a drug like ether or chloroform, I know coz I caught parts of Medical Mavericks) what can I say?Numb? Like if you ask how was the Grand Palace? Grand? The Taj Mahal? Mahal? And politicians? Scummy?

Just to let you have an idea of how the cost breakdown goes: Examination and diagnosis is 11 bucks, a lining (whatever that means) is another 11 bucks while the scaling and polishing (termed complex - how complex can it be for a few minutes scrape?) is almost 50 bucks and the "composite" (looks more like amalgam) is about 54 bucks.

A grand total of 143 bucks, with 2 bucks for consumables thrown in.

They Are More To Be Feared, Keagan, Not Them
When Keagan rang me, he told me he was actually outside Woodbridge Hospital (now known as the Institute of Mental Health). For a moment, I was stunned.

What was Keagan doing outside the mental hospital? Was he waiting for someone? Was he waiting to be admitted even? As all kinds of weird thoughts spun around my head, Keagan finally told me he was actually doing some observation.

Some observation? Keagan, dear boy. These inmates who are institutionalised are less to be feared and observed. The real psychopaths are the ones living among us and lurking in the shadows.

The psychos who are running schools, businesses, the media and countries. The mind-control agents of society.

Scummies, Leave Now
Scribbles from a beautiful island in the sun. Scummies, you know who you are, please leave the country now. There is simply no room here for your scummage. You are not only spoiling the whole darn beautiful place here, you are also ruining it faster than the scroungers can pick up any scrap of leftovers.

Keeping Traffic Jams At Bay
I am pretty sure my model of a visionary living near our waterways and building the byways, freeways and highways as I envisage would alleviate, if not, obliterate traffic jams.

That is because like the Circle Line (built in a circle what else), the roads would be built in the centre of our island paradise (or islet paradise?) and in concentrics should one be conjested and another needs building.

Upgrading Coming Our Way And The Circle Line
I chanced upon the construction of the CCL4 (Circle Line Stage 4) at Buona Vista one day which is supposed to be an interchange like Bishan.

Now this is stage 4 of the line which commenced in 2004 and it is already 2007. What happened to stages 1 to 3 which must have commenced earlier and thus scheduled for completion earlier? Of course it has been touted to finish in 2010.

Back here in this estate, there are many signposts declaring the above but there is no polling date and no signs of any upgrading. Worse, places that have been proclaimed upgraded didn't look a wee bit like they were.

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This: Everyone Wants Something (Annie Lennox and the Eurhythmics)
If I had wanted something, I would have mingled, chatted and perhaps flung myself at them. The international community at this foreign club, that is.

The locals are certainly in here for something. Everyone wants something. A kinda barter. A little bit of sex. Youth for sale. Money. Business deals. Promotions. Sugar daddying. Whatever.

All I wanted was good conversation and friendship.

And they all have foreign diplomatic immunity, I suppose. They can get away with anything and everything.

Like the Mensa dude who hangs out at beaches and a sarong party boy (SPB) is clinging on to him so tight, he is termed a "potato" queer or queen. Incidentally, one wonders what has even happened to the SPB in the end, though we still see the Mensa dude around.

Blood Hound Gang's "Hefty Fine" Cover Album
You really wanna know how BullDog looks like? Ok. Take a peek at the Blood Hound Gang's "Hefty Fine" Album Cover Pic of that huge naked chubby old bear and you will know how he looks like.

That's him!

A HardWare Issue - At Least That Is What They Would Have Me Believe
So the nub of the problem has finally been pinned down, after so much yo-yoing (like I was yo-yoed from pillar to post from marketing programs to the schools).

Yes I did spot the bitch sow who is now one part of a husband-and-wife team running the show at the school's union, a show to sell programs to schools (like they were duplicating moi's efforts).

If I had wanted to pull strings, I could have harangued my ex-classmate there but I didn't.

A bitch sow who has no less than 5 kids (and like Keagan cracked a joke about how a boy repeatedly excused himself from school because his mother was pregnant and the teacher finally asked if his mother was a pig sow) and some contacts with the media and who has so much issue with school policies in general, she should put up a black paper to the authorities.

Please, don't take it out on moi!

Anyway it seems like it is a hardware issue more than ever. The routers the cafes are running are older versions and thus incompatible with my notebook's newer chipset.

Surprisingly it is the outdoor cafes which surfers can't log on. A ploy to deter hoggers, one suspects when in reality, the cafes are almost empty all the time in the day.

They could have opened up until peak hour kicks in during evening time.

You owe me MAN! Do you know how many pink cards I have filled out at your cafes? A pink card is an absolutely free 13th drink after you have guzzled a dozen others.

My Sole Obligation
My one and only obligation, as far as I can see, would be to my poor old mute sister.

At most there will be a good social cause for my enterprise, a place in my heart for a particular group of the disadvantaged.

But that is about it.

Let the people who have succeeded through the "system", speak up and do something for the rest of society.

Look At The Kinda Kids We Have Bred
Almost like Jon, Joe is seeing some MCYS counsellors for some BPC (beyond parental control) issues. Jon is on probation and has curfew hours imposed on him because of a rioting charge.

I don't know the exact circumstances but Joe is a rent boi. A "straight" doing it for money and who has had quite a few girl friends.

Like the way I treat all rent bois, I always skirt the money thingy and this was gonna be no exception but at the 11th hour, we called it quits because the dude was really obnoxious.

I had warned him not to come a mile near me should he have sex with his girlfriend and then decide to do his 'rent boi" act on me. PUI!

And if you thought all my blogs were written like I was some hard-up and horny desperado, THINK REAL HARD! I have better discipline and self-control than what I make myself out to be otherwise.

A Growth Fund?
Oh God! This is a growth fund but as I pointed out to my financial adviser, it doesn't seem to be growing. In fact it has been languishing and dragging me deep down in red ink.

I really regret the former fund manager of another fund I had sunk my money in some time back had actually migrated to manage a Third World fund which has seen its price hitting the roof. The one fund he managed at that time did pretty well.

All I can hope for is for this stock price to hit just a dollar or several more, AND IT IS GONNA BE "NO MORE BLOGGING FOR ME".

I Am On Heat?
I am not in the best of moods. I guess it must be the summer heat and moi hasn't exactly found a beau yet.

So that adds to all that moody broodiness.

Bitch on heat! Mua ha ha ha.

A Crooked Smile

Your Apostrophe Seems To Be Missing, My Dear Boy
Oh My God!

I actually have another commentator on my blog. I was told my English (and here he/she didn't capitalise) isn't really that bad though there is great room for improvement.

Oh CMajor, thanks for actually bothering to post a comment. I know. I mean I wrote "hoist" when it should be "foist" and so on.

But at least I don't go on national television or the newspaper and make a big blooper like "Singapore Best Fried Lice" when it should be "Singapore's Best Fried Rice".

Nobody seems to apostrophate anymore. What is wrong with the schools these days? Don't they teach grammar?

An Early Morning Ruckus
It is the first Wednesday of the month and it is "Bring Your Own Shopping Bag" day at the supermarket.

I bought mostly dry groceries (biscuits, snacks) which I could just chug into my fabric slinger except for two cartons of refrigerated drinks. We all know from our Science lessons of old how that brings about condensation water droplets which just kinda wet your insides, right?

I refused to donate the 10 cents for the plastic carrier the cashier tried shoving down my throat and promptly kicked up a ruckus, the bitch-whore I was myself.

I can't imagine how those cellophane-wrapped meat being the kinda raw and bloodied stuff they are, are gonna foul up the smell of those recyclable bags.

And we do need thrash bags (which are the exact same ones we use to carry the stuff in in the first place) to thrash these after consumption right? That fish skeleton or chicken thigh bone after we have chewed off the juicy cooked meat or that can of soup that we have opened up.

Can't see how there is this saving of the environment with the reduction (if there is even one) of non-biodegradable bags. Aren't we really re-using and recycling instead?

Absondment And Losing In A Bet - What Is The Difference? Duh
Private lottery bookmaking is illegal in Singapore. Reason: operators can abscond with bettors' money bets.

I applaud this. But if you lose in the bet, your money bets are as good as an abscondment.

The Scariest Visit To A Dentist Ever
I mean during the lifetime I have spending at the dentist's chair, I have had cavities filled and re-filled and some bitch-whore actually wanted to cart me off for a dental imaging, just so to see if I need more fillings.

I thought these were just pure ploys to make moi spend more money. Just like the countless hair-dressers would have moi believe he is balding and need scalp treatment when it was more a case of the kinda hair-cut, so moi thought.

And yes lezzie (no offence and I have nothing against you - just a statement of fact) hairstylist, you couldn't even get me the gold streaks I badly wanted.

I know I had squeezed myself in for a tight fit, what with the dental appointments all lined up back to back but hey, I have had numbing jabs before which went without a hitch but this time, I felt my whole upper lip going stiff and sensationless. All for the sake of a decaying amalgam tooth filling which even after a composite refill didn't look as if it had.

When I looked myself in the mirror, I was smiling a crooked smile. OMFG! My upper lips had gone awry and it WAS HORRENDOUS!

And yes everything did seem pre-meditated and YEA, I know what you have up there on the last floor of your swanky establishment! A JACKPOT ROOM, you PIRATE OF THE SOUTH CHINA SEA (as the movie of the same namesake would have us to be so welcoming)

Thank God, after an hour or more with the wearing away of the anaesthesic effect and as the dentist promised, my beautiful dimpled smile came SHINING BACK on again!

That was a really close shave! It made me thought really hard about life. Anything could happen . And you know what. I TOLD MYSELF I SHOULD JUST QUIT NOT SMOKING AND SHOPPING!

Life is short, BIG BLADDER!

Glowering Glow

Amazing MakeOver
O God! It must have been ages since I last paid a visit to my old old neighborhood. The estate has been spruced up especially the environmental surrounds around the canal and my former JC. It seems to be encouraging a hive of activity with seats for people to mill around and hotspots for exercise and recreation like blading for one.

The new community club is spanking new and decked out in rich woods. And that young, sporty fair hunk with his golden mane was working his cute butts out at the fitness club. In fact he may well be a working for our bobbies, which has a presence here.

It is like this swim pool which I can't help feeling is being used by our boys in blue for their recreational laps, what with its special command operational headquarters just next door. Imagine moi cruising them up? The consequences.

Alas, my former junior college has undergone such a major makeover, all the old memories of the school are practically obliterated. Which is a good thing, considering I didn't particularly have very fond memories of the place.

It boasts of a modern, contemporary concept with sprawling buildings linked to one another and most of all, it has this glassed loft which acts as the arts room that overlooks the school's track and field. A spendid view indeed for any budding artist!

5 Whole Days Without A Smoke Nor A Hitch
I have sworn myself off cigarettes and today marks the 5th day I have gone without a ciggy.

I have been smoking a pack or more a day and this is killing me. For one, I break out in cold sweat, have cold feet and start feeling nauseaous on the two occasions I chain smoked continuously, one pack after another.

Of course I broke my vow on the day I went clubbing but that was about it.

I am really glad I am on the mend and I have quitted smoking.

Foreign Club
Keagan invited moi for a night out to a club. So I went.

We walked around the clubbing streets for a while and finally settled for a club which was frequented by foreigners and this was indeed an eye-opener. The music was pulsating but too bad, I wasn't in any dance mood, hungering more for a good chat.

The screening of Madonna performing and the behind the scenes act and her takes on life had me glued to the show till going home time.

Shoes That Glow In The Dark
This pair of Nikes actually glow in the dark. A nice ankle high lunminous green casuals. Really neat! I know coz I tried it at home in the dark of my room. It was glowy green all right!

Rescue Operation - Cat On A Hot Tin Roof
Alright, so this one heroic episode did somehow alleviate the overall negative image moi has of how our bobbies conduct themselves.

Let us have more such positivities that we can crow to the world we have the BEST BOBBIES in town.

Saving lives, fighting crimes and making the world a better place to live in for all of us.