Spot Check Oo

I Was Almost Nabbed And HandCuffed
I thought this was it. I would be serving time in prison for all my past and current criminal gay acts.

After I had blogged at Mcdonalds, I trudged home and had a puff at my void deck. Before I know it, a police patrol car swung itself into a car parking lot and its headlights went on a blinkering mode.

Two police officers got out and headed straight for moi.

P.S: Colors are in red for our bobbies speaking and pink for moi's, kinda symbolic for seeing red and being gay and all other narrative lines are in green for environmentally correct reasons

Fat Chubby Police Officer A: "Spotcheck!"

Me (thinking aloud): Hello! Spotcheck moi? I am like rigged out in my black NUM sexy tank-top with matching flaming red NUM Lifeguard short shorts, the pair without an inner lining, which if I chose to sit at a coaxial angle would reveal all and sundry to that red-hot hunk at Mcdonalds. Don't forget my environmentally green SGD 189 CRUMPLER slinger and you guys wanna spot check moi?

Fat And UgyChubby Police Officer A (again?): "What you doing here?"

Me (thinking out even louder) : Hello! You mean you can't see moi with a ciggy in between his fingers and puffing away rings of smoke clouds? What does it look like I am doing? Do you see another naked man in front of moi and we are both doing the GAY ROMP? Are you the "khalwat" police squad or what?

Fat Chubby Police Officer A (this guy can seriously grate on your nerves): "So late? You work so late? There have been cases of unlicensed money lenders."

Me(slapping my head and all the while looking at him in total disbelief and disgust): Hey, there are 24-hour joints and we are into a all wired-up WIFI city. So I was out surfing. Is that a crime too? Shouldn't you be checking on all those groupies (and I was alone) who engage in loud conversations filled with profanities all the time. What about those beng-looking ones (apparently foreigners) and those dark-skinned foreign workers gathering together in a drove. Don't they look more like candidates for crime commission? Can't you tell from my impeccable English that moi is a class above crime? And what about curfew time for the kids especially the galls. Hey and you mean the banks are any more licensed and better?

Fat Chubby Officer A : "Have you seen anyone suspicious?"

Me: That is your job buster. Am I supposed to do your job for you? Aren't you paid to do that?

Fat Chubby Officer A: "Can I check your bag?"

Me: Look. I am no terrorist. There ain't no bomb here. We are over-reacting and harping too much on the terrorism threat. In fact with all our harping, we MAY ACTUALLY ATTRACT the terrorists to come here and blow us up. You mean the schools and the government here are not terrorists in their own rights? What about you doing this to moi now? Aren't you subjecting moi to an act of terror, a poor old innocent and law-abiding citizen?

In fact, if the pair had been that HOT sizzling great-looking hunks moi spotted patrolling the area the other time, moi would gladly have asked for a body search.

Me: Oo. Officers, search me. Yeah, here, here, touch me down there. Yeah, I feel great. Arhh...it feels so good. Oo. I am cumming...don't stop now, please don't. Search me. All over again.

Police Officer B asked for my personal particulars and within minutes the whole ordeal is over.

Tell me what you think? Could they have spent that few minutes more usefully with real would-be criminals?