Thursday, August 31, 2006

It Is Pouring Like A MadHouse And I Am Caught In It

Profiling
Yesterday before the job interview, I was profiled. I do not exactly know what the questionaire was trying to get at but I do know many of the choices do not exactly fit me. I had to put down an answer just so to complete the test.

I was told this was drawn up by a psychologist and therefore proven. I say BULLSHIT! There must be variants to one's behaviour and we do change over time, with our belief systems and priorities.

If Pluto could be gone at just one scientific congress because of a change in the criterion of classification or if planemos (which is basically cosmic bodies revolving around each other) could upset the concept of a heliocentred universe, what more a psychological profiling test.

This is so wrong
I don't think I was trying to show off my prowess or my superb IT skills when I do Microsoft Point slides. I think I do it because some learners are more visual and graphics do help paint a thousand words. More importantly, I do it because the slides act as a cue prompts for what I should say and therefore teach. I can't just remember a whole chunk of information and I want my teaching to be comprehensive so students get everything they are supposed to know.

Yes I have served my NSF liability for 2.5 years. After that, it doesn't mean that I am automatically a SAFRA member. I have to apply for membership at a fee. Come to think of it, this is kind of strange isn't it? Shouldn't having served National Service naturally qualify me to be a SAFRA member? Why am I paying for this?

No budget and infrastructural head-bangers
The common refrain in schools I hear when I make my rounds to market my enrichment programs was "no budget. They don't have budget for software/heartware but they do for hardware. So we have waterfalling bio-filtrated koi ponds and mega forts of a school.

In Punggol, the flats are built real nice like condominiums. Not sure if the interior design had been so well-planned and laid out though. The precinct has landscaped gardens and even tall stone walls. What is the use of stone walls except for perhaps a Zidane head-butt?

Contracted brain tissues
Not only do I think some muscled dudes have taken leave of their senses and sensitivity, they may also have contracted brain tissues. All that iron pumping (which I understand sorta contract muscles) has gone to their heads and they just wanna bull-doze and have their way , whether it is to be first to work on the gym's machines or strewing weight plates and dumb-bells all over the gym floor.

More about me
She-Ape was most likely threatened at work. She was after all, NIE-trained and I shudder at the kinda teaching she does. But I have never mouthed a bad word about her. Unfortunately, she takes this as a sign of meekness and keeps coming at me, trying to belittle and berate me all the time.

I am so simple, there is no need to "handle" me. I do my work, you do yours. But if you keep bugging me and the bugs are unreasonable, downright stupid and causing me to get into trouble in return, I will retaliate.

The money-collector that is He-Ape and family
What really irks me is that He-Ape and family will not intervene in any staff dispute or unhappiness. They want staff to sort out the problems themselves. They are hardly at the centre where I work. Which is why I say each centre should have a manager to supervise.

It does seem like they just wanna collect profits, re-invest (likely to be property), make more profits but do not wanna actively manage the centre and all its attendant problems.

Cause and effect
I am not going to pay for anyone's mistakes , stupidity or bad judgement.

Going without a towel at the gym because the washer conked out got me into trouble. I had to buy another from the Sports Council. My red bath towel running its colors and ruining my 50 bucks white Nike shorts. In fact I should have separated the colors from the whites but as the washer was utilised the whole week (there are 5 of us in the flat), I just had to lump all in one wash.

Before I turn up at my second interview yesterday, I had to head for Tim's flat a 4th time as my work shirt was in the luggage. I wasn't expecting to be called up for a job interview within a day of a telephone call and I had shifted most of my stuff to my new place.

I also forgot about my soft-leather shoes at the new place and had to wear sneakers for the interview. I hope Tim doesn't think I am trying to pull anything.

And as he may be kinda busy, he has told me that he may not be able to get me my pillow. I am out now at Ang Mo Kio and I have seen one. There is Bishan North Shopping Mall near Tim's flat but as I cannot be sure if it sells pillows, I may just have to lug this pillow from Ang Mo Kio back to Bishan.

Today marks my move to my new place
Yes I am finally moving today. I have a laundry basket and two plastic carrier bags loaded with stuff to shift out. Don't forget the pillow too. An extra item is an extra burden to carry and trasnport.

Back at my old place when I sold off all my electrial appliances like the hi-fi system and the DVD-karoake set after selling my flat, I was fuming mad . Most of these stuff were made in Japan or the USA. They were in good working condition and had lasted me for a long time.

Now with all the appliances made in Third World countries, I don't think we get the same kind of quality anymore.

More on the fallen yesterday
The boy who knocked the back of his head on the floor when he fell yesterday, did not only have tears welling up, he was making that exact same sound I made when I broke my back. It was that groany moany hiss of extreme pain. So I knew how he felt.

I have no more work clothes - I am basically a T-shirt and jeans dude
If ever I have the good fortune to start working again, I will probably have to buy some working clothes. Long and short-sleeved shirts and business trousers. All I have now are just casuals like T-shirts and jeans.



Fund-raising
I didn't really realise it. But I was a poor needy student. My missionary school was one who actively had fund-raising campaigns. This is to build a new school.

So they had donation draw tickets which meant my dad had to take it to work with him to try to sell them or I had to go door-to-door to sell them. I was even threatened once by a flat owner that I had to apply for a licence to do what I was doing.

Imagine needy students raising money for the school when he does not even have enough money for himself or his family. Shouldn't it be the other way around? What good is a building when the student isn't even fed or helped or made more comfortable? Aren't we focussing on buildings more than on people? Isn't this downright silly?

Why I am what I am today
I have to deal with an unreasonable brother and a not so reasonable mother at home. I have been accused of a thousand and one things that happen at home. When I started work, the same thing happens. Can you blame moi for being what I am today? I have learned to observe very carefully, think through and then to be able to reason and argue.

What I want to teach in schools
I fear for all the kids who, despite being in the right, have been wrongfulled wronged and accused - at home, at school, at work, at whatever. The kids who cannot articulate and fight back. Kids who may on just a few occasions did wrong and assumed to be forever the criminals, the bad-doers and come-what-all. Imagine them growing up like that, the good kids that they are or the mischievous kids that they are, who may just perpetuate another bad cycle themselves.

I think it is my duty to equip them with the right skills to fight for what is correct especially when they are in the right.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

This Is A Really Bitter Pill To Swallow

My second interview
The lady boss herself interviewed moi. Before this big day, she telephoned moi and asked me "what kinda salary would make me happy". I wanted to rebutt this. It isn't about "what kinda salary would make me happy kinda thingy" but rather a minimum wage that would at least ensure me a comfortable enough retirement, given today's prices and accounting for inflation.

Yes I can work NOW. What if SOMETHING happens? Like when I fell the last time. Shouldn't I be insured against something like that?

Maybe foreign talent ain't that cheap after all
When I spoke with Patrick, he told me he was on a 3K odd salary for the marketing job he was doing at NKF. A nurse would be worth some 2.5K. And a nurse with 8 years experience doubles that figure.

Seems like the healthcare industry is really paying very well (because of the critical shortage I guess) but not the education sector. But I think my kinda education isn't the kinda education being proffered here. I think I am worth 5K or more (maybe even 7K-8K) but I can settle for less. A minimum 3K would be nice. 4K even nicer. Is this too much to ask?

The NKF saga
What Patrick told me was an eye-opener of sorts. As a hypothetical scenario, for every $1 that is collected from the public, it is reinvested which yields $10. So donations are always kept at a dollar. The rest goes to operating costs and to the CEO (let us say $5)

But since this is a charity, shouldn't it be the case that the $1 could be reduced to $0.20 even and the reinvestment profits ploughed back into helping patients defray the costs of their dialyses? ( I remember this is something patients were complaining about, that despite everything, they still haven't got their dialyses' costs reduced very much) Rather than so much going into the CEO's pockets. And other expenses. What expenses constitute a large amount? Entertainment? Staging extravaganza?

I admit I wasn't really following the reports back then, like I am not with the Israel-Lebanon conflict or even the acts of terrorism.

Two people fell here today - could it be that the smooth tiled pavement has turned into an ice-skating rink on a rainy day?
It suddenly rained hell at this place where I am blogging now. A boy who was basketballing, slipped on the tiled pavement and fell on his back, hurting his head. As I had fallen and hurt my spine before, I can imagine the pain he was in and tears were welling up in his eyes. I went up to him to comfort him.

A lady in her fifties who was delivering a Teacher's Day buffet, also fell and sprained her wrist. I helped her call her boss and to have him pick her up, send her to the Chinese physician and drive the van back as she was in no condition to do so.

After all, an employer just can't be all profit-driven without caring for its employees right?

A few things you should know about my work ethics and ethos
A job to me is just a job. I do it and I do it well. But I don't think life can just be job-centred without regard to a life outside a job - like a social or sport life. After all, isn't it a good thing we keep healthy, what with healthcare costs and all?

I believe that at work if I had done wrong, you can always correct me. But stop shoving stuff on my lap to make me look like a scapegoat. Or if you aren't confident about yourself or your abilities, don't try to make me look like you. Or if I wanna do the best for my students, you wanna deter me.

You work your way, I work mine. If I am passionate about teaching and I wanna do a bit extra, that is my problem. You don't have to tell me that I should just ease up. None of your business.

I am not looking for thanks or gratitude or whatever from my students. I just wanna give my best in whatever I do. Is that so wrong?

I keep quiet even though I may not necessarily agree with you on many things. Just don't take me for a fool. Or you try to shove your opinion on me or that I have to do the things you do.

I may not share the same kinda vision you have for education. I have my vision and you have yours. You may wanna work with me, but I may not. Coz our ethos are different.

Can you understand that?

Why I am in the predicament I am in now
At first, I had wanted to start a tuition centre. I am glad I didn't. The location I picked was actually where I am now. Just walking past block after block in this estate, I realised that for its very small size, there were a disproportionately large number of educational institutions.

The MPS I attended last year didn't help matters either. I thought of just focussing on the foreign student segment but the CASETRUST accreditation precludes me from even trying. I wanted my MP to write to CASETRUST to help wave this requirement until I got my students in and then they could start assessing me. But my MP wrote to MOE instead. My request didn't come through and I had nothing on my slate to feed me.

So it was delay after delay. Till they are like wanting to see me dead before they can get things moving.

Every day I wait out for a project with the public sector like the government agencies and the schools, my finances dwindle. They just don't realise this. One project for a whole year can't keep me going. A handful could. So what did I have to do? Sell my place and look at the kinda shit I am in now!

All that chatter about litter
I have had a student who accused moi once of littering. This guy is like the gahmen sometimes, just accusing without really finding out the whole truth. Fact is, sometimes, the tissue paper in my hand just kinda slip through or it gets blown away by the wind or something.

And tissue paper at hawker centres is an offence? What do we wipe our mouths with? Our bare hands? So please, gimme a break.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I Am Gonna Watch "Break Up" Today

More Technological Hiccups
Today, all the computers at the community library couldn't be logged on. This was acknowledged by the library and they even made an announcement over the public intercom service.

At the LAN shop, when I downloaded a list of schools from MOE's website, part of the list could not be seen on its left side. I switched to another computer and there was no problem here at all.

What's with people here
There are just too many things happening here but people are just not voicing up and communicating them. Like the misaligned cable at the triceps push-down machine, someone must have known about it but didn't highlight the problem.

Even if they wanted to, they may not be able to effectively communicate it. Or they just ignore the problem, hoping it will go away or they just keep silent so as not be seen as the "problematic" one, leaving the next person to do the "dirty job".

I have also begun to theorize that muscled dude must have their bodies so hulked and bulked they have lost all sensitivity to what is going on around them. Same goes for all the old fuddies duddies at work. So numbed, they can't feel or think anymore.

The consequence is that accidents are gonna happen sooner than later.

This is essentially what we are all about here in Singapore.

Propagandistic propanganda
Recently, in line with our national rallying call for more babies and foreign immigration, several large families subsisting on a $1400 and $1600 income were featured in the newspapers (as if everyone has the same ability to live on this income feeding families of six or more). There was even one on local tattooed gangs (as if all tattoos are a surefire sign of gangsterism). A Forbes' list of foreign entrepreneurs residing locally was also drawn up (as if all "foreign talent" eventually end up on this prestigious honor roll - what about the so-many others who don't?)

A nation of suspects
If you will believe this, you will believe anything. Feature news on how strangers steal your valuables on the pretext of striking up a conversation , thieves carting off home goodies from places they lease to stay and strangers accosting you on the streets to ask for directions or help only to rob you of your valuables later have all not helped in building a trusting social community.

Can you blame all the dirty stares and looks people give you if you should happen to be stranded on the streets and try seeking help? Or you try befriending a stranger at any public place?

Not that we are a very communicative lot to begin with. Or that we share as many ice-breaking conversational common ground apart from issues of economics - complaints of the high cost of living usually being a hot topic.

Let us also not assume that all the "white men and women" we see living amongst us are of only the British, American, Canadian or Australian stock (and therefore associated with a more nationally, educationally and economically superior breed - are they really?). They could be Ukrainian or even Turkish, some who make a far better living here because of the general "impoverished" state of affairs back home.

Skullduggery
Just chatting with the coupled real estate agents that day, we realised we had something in common. They had sent their kids to the same tuition centre I had worked in which is owned by Mr He-Ape.

He had always understated enrolment size over telephone enquiries but kids get a rude shock when they turn up , to find that class sizes are almost as huge as that in a public school.

Myopia being what it is in Singapore, M/s Black Widow (He-Ape's sis-in-law because of his wife) would insist moi to zoom down font sizes in all assignment papers so that four pages could be accomodated on two sides of an A4 paper.

The current street directory that comes with a bookmark magnifier (that doesn't really help very much, the scratch or abrasion marks on its flimsy plastic surface not helping things any better) is already straining on the human eyes.

I can't imagine how students, who suffer the highest incidence of myopia here, cope with significantly reduced fonts in the assignment papers and textbooks they read.

Stained red
My white Nike shorts which cost about 5o bucks is now stained red by my bath towel which ran its colors. I think the washing that day must have exacerbated it. Sitting wet in the tub for quite some time instead of the whole cycle of wash, rinse and dry (that would have washed it all away), must have got it stained worse.

Monday, August 28, 2006

I Need A Breather Terribly

There are apparently various kinds of Bus Service 162
Yesterday I did my computing work till late. On Sundays, Bus service 162 does not run. But 162# (seemingly a looped service) does but until 11.34pm (or is this information all outdated). There is also 162A. It is kinda confusing as we really have too much to remember, from variants of the same bus service number to their operating days and times. Why not run the services a little later till midnight or so and just on a simple alpha-numeric system like 162 and 162A, B or C....

I am held hostage by people younger than moi
Gosh it is like role-reversal. When I teach, my charges are like looking up to me for a host of things. At the LAN shops, I am like dependent on the younger set. Requesting for media players, enabling sound so I can hear MSN music and for internet relay chats.

I have never felt so incapacitated.

Have you figured out the ciggy saga yet?
If the hint didn't sink in, think this. Would an anti-STD lobbyist also run a lubricious, unchecked and unfettered bordello?

Repression And A Tightly-Controlled society - more space for people to breathe easier
It ranges from smoking to urinating to internet relay chats at public institutions, even commercial ones to alternative lifestyles. I can understand that air-conditioned places or food-stalls should be clear of smoke ashes and fumes because of hygiene purposes and the enclosed and thus not too well ventilated spaces.

Maybe the answer lies in designating more smoking areas, far removed from non-smoking ones and particularly in open-air spaces like parks? bus interchanges? al-fresco diners and so on. What about buildings? Can a roof-top open space be designed a haven for smokers?

I remember a moment in time when smokers had to beat a hasty retreat to the loos for their 5 minutes' worth of nicotine-high when the clampdown on smoking peaked. But apparently this can't be had anymore either. Where have they all gone?

The cudgels for aero-model flying hobbyists
But aero-model hobbyists are pissed by restrictions on flying their planes in parks. If it is an aeroplane, I don't see the problem if there is a designated open land for this (like in Punggol). But can helicopters or some other aero-models with plastic rotating blades at perhaps a couple of thousand of revolutions pose a danger, like slicing off someone's fingers? Can this be allowed if it doesn't? Again at wide open spaces, away from whatever it is supposed to harm.

There ain't so many hobbies one can really indulge in here in teeny weeny Singapore. We can try to open up more space to cater to various out of the ordinary but legitimate pastimes.

The newspaper can be used in more ways than one
After I jogged yesterday, I sat at a cafe to read the newspapers. It started to rain and a highly visible retired principal sat right behind moi. He attracted various greetings from people who knows him. I recognise him to be the ex-principal of a top primary school in my old neighborhood.

Usually after I am done reading, I would pass the newspapers to someone who may happen to be in the vicinity. It so happened a woman who was walking her dog sought refuge at this same cafe from the rain. I passed her the papers and she used it as a shelter from the rain.

What happened at the gym today
The gym instructor ticked me off today for not taking along a towel with me. He is just doing his job and because the antiquity of a washer at home had conked out, I bought a towel from them at $1 to keep as a spare. If this isn't cause-effect, I don't know what is.

I think most gymmies are real considerate. We would just work out at a station when it isn't occupied. For me, as I am on circuit training, this is fine. But with "body parts on different days" dudes, it may not be so fine. Anyway I ain't the type to go "shoving others" to share equipment. I will wait my turn and do something else in the meantime. Beats hovering for sure.

It will be even more considerate if gymmies replace the weight plates rather than leave them dangling on bars after use. Some hulky gmmies may be loading on more plates than an ordinary gymmie can manage. I personally can't do more than 10kg each, not to mention attempting to get the weight plates off the bar.

Remember the idiosyncratic tricep push-down machine. Today it kinda gave out a strange feeling when I worked out on it. Kinda noisy and stiff. When I looked up, the cable had been off its groove on the cogwheel. What grave danger this would put anyone in! I am glad I reported it.
I moved most of my stuff today and met Tim's mother
The newly bought big luggage broke its lightweight metallic handle. The other small baggage had its steel one off its hinge. This is in no small part due to the few flights of steps I have to drag them over as the lift doesn't stop at every floor at this estate's elevators . So when I am on 11 , I have to descend to 9 and when I am on 10, I have to ascend to 11.

It is also kinda ridiculous that the baggage has this huge secure and sturdy compartments but the handle can be a puny light flimsy metallic frame. Outta proportion.

I was huffing and puffing all the way and intermittently stop my lugging along the hot blazing tortuous trail from Block 209 to Block 246. It took me 2 hours or more for my two trips and I spoke with a woman too about how low quality stuff are when manufactured in Third World countries these days .

My new room
I was greeted by Tim's mother at the hallway. I made two trips, went for lunch and then remembered that I had left my folder containing my job application stuff and diskette in one of the suitcases. I had to go a third time.

And I kept going into the wrong room (Tim's mother's room to be exact - hers is right next to mine - Oo). I dunno why but I guess it could be because the room doors were wide open or somehow because my room was right next to the main door so I kinda miss it when I walk in through the passageway like that.

Anyway this room was converted from part of a dining area (which explains why there are windows) and a store room. And the main electrical circuit is here in my room (Oo again). But it is roomy and has big windows and some view. That is what I always like about rooms. More so if it opens out to water or greenery and is suffused with breeze and natural light minus the heat and glare.

Singapore's adrenalined motorists
Every morning while waiting to cross over to Bishan Park I at the traffic junction or zebra crossing, I can't help noticing how drivers never really slow down or stop to give way. They just kinda wanna ram you down or zoom ahead. They also never stop before the double white lines at the junction. Some speed along the road, especially the motorcyclists and even some lorries.

You just have to be a bit slow on the wheels as a motorist and the driver behind you will honk you to your death, literally.

Is technology really all boon or just bane at times?
Today I tried the job online application again. The online system still can't detect my CV though this is now in Microsoft Word. I telephoned them and was told I could email them instead.

Yesterday I couldn't log onto the ATM system and so couldn't the person after me but not the person before me. I couldn't log onto the library's multimedia top-up machine operating system at its upper floor but I could at its lower floor one.

All that IT hardware and software must be bugged to its death, I think.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

I Wanna GeT Out Of This Life

At the bus interchange
I agreed to meet Muiz yesterday. I ended up alighting at the far end of the bus interchange and it was a real quiet spot with nice tiled seats. So I decided we should chat here instead. While puffing away and trying to destress, I noticed a couple of big red ants crawling along and heading towards me.

Remembering what had happened to that poor old man who collapsed at the park, I decided to rid myself of them. So I used the fag end to burn them dead.

Just then a woman with her son passed by and pointing her few fingers at two men who were snoozing on the seats, warned her son never to be in their predicament.

What set me thinking was how she thought she knew the exact reason for their sleeping at the bus interchange. Were they homeless? Were they just taking a breather? What made them so? Was it unemployment? Was it bitches at home who threw them out on the streets after an alimony hearing in court? It could be anything seriously.

Political apathy
Muiz looked cuter with his hair cut short. I wanted to kiss him but since we were in a public place, I had to restrain myself.

It was when we talked about some "political" stuff that made me realise how politically ignorant the young of today can be, especially when it comes to matters of how our parliamentarians get to hold cabinet positions. It wasn't by election but by appointment.

But he did raise one pertinent issue though. It does seem that a Member of Parliament who also holds a cabinet appointment or two would be twice or thrice salaried. Not to mention other business appointments in the case of MPs.

Here's another thought after looking at Muiz
Like Muiz, I am sure many others among his community, if given an opportunity and the right kinda environment and nurturing, could be just like him. The exam grades to show for, that is. And I have spotted RI dudes who are.

So do we then really need foreign talent. We aren't exactly having an easy time dealing with some. Like when I taught at commercial schools and I was faced with a few of these talents from very Asian Chinese nations or even putting up with them at my own home.

More Immutables
Add a couple of things to what I have blogged about some time ago. Add, for example, a person's home as one of the immutables which you do not treat lightly or trifle with. You can imagine the fury squatters erupt into when faced with unfair eviction with no alternative and affordable housing in sight.

Way to go, gal! Aye Aye! Lionger
I had mentioned that I had found the cheapest brand of ciggies available here at $8.00 a pack,which happens to be our very own brand (with quite a nice-sounding name too) . Hopefully this has made you think a little bit more. If not, think harder.

I suppose if there are to be smokers who can't be deterred whichever way, then they might as well be buying up our very own "Made In Singapore" product. I am proud I am.

The IT and creative industries
If I had read the recent report correctly, it seems that the IT and creative industry are short on trained and creative talent. So to make up for the shortfall, foreigners would have to be imported.

Maybe it is our educational system and our entire culture which have beaten down any creative talent we may have had among our local populace. So much so, we now have to import this talent.

Are we really first class citizens in our own homeland
Resale public housing isn't anymore except that a bank loan is opened to only citizens. Native speakers (which means foreigners) are preferred for English language teaching appointments. Jobs and even room rentals have clearly discriminated against us. Tuition grants are extended to foreigners and they are bonded for several years which means they are practically assured of jobs upon graduation, with some institutions even offering to find them employment.

Citizens have a slew of rules and regulations to abide by but a foreigner seems to be able to get off scott free (for instance I have come across many foreigners or permanent residents whose home addresses have not been updated and it seems that this is the onus of the employers while citizens are legally bound to )

As I thought - The mystery unravelling
I did have a fleeting thought that perhaps Paul's someone or himself could be owning the place. And he/she is residing really close by. That explains the short time he is out and back again, usually returning with a troop of others. He does seem like a music instructor and there is that piano collecting dust in the corner of the hallway.

Someone has the house key which must mean a close friend, relative or family member.

The mystery of the broken down washing machine
On Friday, I woke at about 5am to wash my clothes as the whole week, it has been occupied by loadfuls of laundry. I went back to sleep and when I woke at about 8am or thereabouts, it had been washed and I could hang them up to dry.

Before I went out for my jog I put in another load (as I had been walking and sweating the previous few days). When I got back, the washing machine had been mysteriously shut off and its lid wide open with my laundry still wet and frothy from the soap powder.

I resetted it and went out for my gym workout. When I got back, it happened again. I washed it once more and waited out for its approximately 2.5hr washing cycle. But as I have an appointment at 2pm and Patrick wanted to wash his, I had to stop the cycle, got my wringing wet laundry out and wait another day to wash it again.

Today, I washed it right after Paul did his . I was told it ain't working no more and true enough, after the cycle, the load was still wet and a bit foamy.

Offloading my chip phonecard
While waiting to be picked up at the bus interchange by a real estate agent, I lingered around the telephone booths, waiting to spring meself on the few foreign workers who turn up there in the evenings to make their calls back home.

I am trying to offload my chip phonecard worth $5.00. The reasons being that it is sitting uselessly in my wallet and its life is expiring by year end.

My quick pitch about how the red-colored telephones will be phased in and correspondingly the chip phonecard somehow didn't sink in very much with this crowd. This is only my second time doing this and I hope someone will buy it up real soon.

I have found a place
Eventualy I did. I scan the classifieds, this time via a traditional source which I have thus far not been fishing in. The real estate agent/s were helpful and I think they deserve their half month commission which I readily parted on that very day we signed the housing contract. I don't begrudge anyone anything if I feel they are worth their salt.

It is not too far from where I am now and I will just cart bit by bit of my luggage to the new place over the next couple of days.

I am mentally exhausted, physically shagged and irritable
Of course there are many contributory factors. Not least, sleeping like what I am doing now has brought on my backpains once more. I feel myself aching, sleepy and just plain uncomfortable and irritable, with the kinda living and sleeping environment I am in right now.

Enough Oredi
Here I am on a Sunday evening at a LAN shop. I started out at about half past six but by ten, I haven't even finished what I set out to do.

The Internet connection dies midway and I have to switch to another computer and when that doesn't work, yet another. All that musical chair is costing me time and money.

Worse of all, I tried submitting an online job application which can only detect Microsoft Word file format and not rich-text Wordpad format as is the case with the kind of text document that all the computers here are on.

This is really taxing on my already frayed nerves.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

An Affront

My first interview
This is a commercial school famed for its language. I can see it occupies two floors of a building with more than 15 tutorial rooms which would amply qualify it to be named a college. When I was told that they will take me in as a freshie and pay me on that terms, it makes me boil that my teaching skills since 1997 means nothing. And I have two younger superiors, both women.

It has 3 non-teaching and 3 teaching days. I think this is ridiculous as I only want to get in on the action when there are classes which in turn means more income stream for myself and the school. The non-teaching days are designated preparation days which are way out of proportion, I thought. Why devote such a huge chunk of time to non-teaching assignments when we could comfortably do our own preparation out of school hours?

Anyway there is a minimum wage that I think I can comfortably get by and what they pay isn't even the foreign talent 'S' pass category. Anything below that means working my life away without a plan for a retirement in my old age.

I was rejected for a room by a PR who prefers foreigners
The room was just nice for me. But the Malaysian PR chief tenant told me they prefer foreigners. Can you imagine the kinda discrimination Singaporeans face at work (foreigners are more talented and cheaper) and even in his own country? To be rejected by our leaders and now this (the English langauge at schools has to be taught by native speakers).

Short term gain/long term pain (micro)
As I mentioned, I welcome exotic talents that we cannot find among our local populace which will in turn create more jobs for locals (if this can be true).

But I can't help thinking how our companies, especially the SMEs or even our local MNCs may be doing themselves a great disservice by employing foreigners.

Firstly, some foreigners are rich back home. They come here to work for our companies to learn the ropes and eventually strike out on their own. They have nothing to lose as our salaries are way above what their home currencies are worth.

Imagine a company who wants to sprout an international/regional wing (Singapore is too small after all), only to find that their ex-employee has beaten them ahead of the game back in their home country. Mind you, this foreign worker has the home advantage of his own native land.

The companies must be "goondus" to train them for free like that. Yes the short term gain is that they cut on costs. But the long term pain is the price they pay for another competitor in a bigger regional/international market place.

Whereas with a local employee, he doesnt have the benefit of a regional/international market but only our Singapore one.

Perhaps this is something we can think about.

I thought about this when I received the Malaysian PR's free-lance calling card (which means that he is moonlighting). He is an art director with an advertising agency here but his calling card has a Malaysian operation.

Macro-translation
Extend this on a macro level and what happens. All the foreigners would be trained and skilled and if they decide to leave for their home country, which if there is a golden opportunity in their own developing nations (as is happening now), we have massive competition to our own local economy.

They would duplicate what we do and they have the trained human resources to execute the mission. All thanks to their rivals who helped trained them.

Foreign workers would become citizens if they are so loyal
Which brings us to the point of fealty. If they do not swear on oath to pledge their allegiance or perform NS, it can only mean that they are here only for the work and business opportunities. It has nothing to do with the nation and how it is faring or the community here.

If we don't offer them the work and business opportunity when times are bad, they move on.

A smart kid who isn't so smart at school
I just realised how smart Lynard is. His analyses of situations are almost as good as mine. I can also begin to see what are some of the kind of reasons (or tricks) kids would resort to to defend themselves.

An endearing old lady
I tried getting out news of my intention to move within the same estate by word of mouth. There is an information counter which was quite good. I got to meet this endearing old lady with whom I communicate in Teochew. She is recommending me a place which is her relative's (but I suppose it is all profit-driven again as it is really quite expensive on a co-sharing basis) .

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A Tuesday Of Blogs

Tattoos
It used to be the army clamping down on enrolees with tattoos as these are signs of gangsterism. I am not sure how much of that remains but nowadays, the young don them as badges of a fashion statement and in Indochina, it could be religious, serving as amulets for protection, engraved by non other than the divine representatives in temples.

Taking a person's roof away and how it feels
It isn't a very nice feeling. As I told Muiz, your home is the one place you retreat into for refuge and comfort. I have no choice but to forego this for the moment and I am not even sure if I can own my next one. And my woes are all wimps and bimbs-related. Starting with schools.

A long walk all the way home
I am stepping up my room find very intensively this week. As this main tenant of the place comes home only late at night, I found myself leaving the place way past midnight. The supermarket was still open. It is on 24 hours. But the bus service isn't.

The feeder service took me all the way to Yio Chu Kang and ended there. I had to walk all my way home after that.

Lynard - the school's "gangsta"
I ran into him at the void deck. When I asked if the locked up TV set they had at the resident's corner could not be opened up (I was thinking Singapore Idol on Wednesdays and Thursdays), I was drawn into his world of alpha male dominance fights in schools. It was more like "gangsta" rather than "gangster". I found it highly amusing when he related all his stories.

And he was pretty cute too. Since I was looking for a room, I had thoughts of bunking in with him. He looked like he needed it. He needed the protection. And I want to protect.

Corporal punishment for some, not all
While exchanging thoughts with Lynard, I suggested that a cane could change the life of a recalcitrant, sometimes. But for most, it won't. It would probably breed resentment, immunity to the whacks and even elicit rebelliousness and retaliation.

Lynard did get one thing right though - pick the fight you are involved in, not others.

Why I turned really rebellious myself
All my life I had been conforming. Even if I do not agree with you on many issues, I keep silent, though deep in my heart, I know something is amiss.

For conformity, it seems, at work, doesn't work. The skunks get away in most cases. It does not pay to be goody-two-shoes. This may be inculcated in schools but it doesn't work at the workplace. All the hoodlums and skullduggerers at work get off, scott free.

They wanna accuse you of attitude, but please look at theirs. Daniel's and Psycho's and a host of others. Daniel is loud, insistent and always wanting things his own way. Psycho is naggy and unreasonable.

Someone picked a fight with moi today at the community library
When this tall dude strode into the reading room and picked a seat right next to moi, when so many other empty seats were available, with his face showing what it showed (a tinge of not being mentally well and he was probably drawn to my earrings, was he gay even?), I instinctively sensed something.

He then picked a fight with moi over the two copies of newspapers I had on me, which I deliberately took away with me. All the while a familiar Indian lady face was sitting nearby. Truth of the matter is, I have spotted another the other day and I recognised them instantly to be who they are.

He admonished moi for being an ugly Singaporean and even mouthed invectives. There are worse cases of ugly Singaporeanism or whoever at work here and he hasn't even seen it yet. I replied in various ways and moved away. But when he got personal about my earring, I asked him to shut his mouth up.

If he had asked for sex, I might have agreed. But oh well, he wanted to focus on a fight, so a fight it was. I admit I just picked up the other copy of the papers as a reflex reaction.

I will only buy the newspapers when I need to read (more for ideas, language content or some worthy analyses) or for the classifieds page. Anyway most of it is really highly repetitious news like the Israel-Lebanon conflict or terrorism.

But between buying a copy of the newspapers or travelling to read it at the communit library, it makes no real difference.

And a fire drill
The alarm rang. A voice urged everyone to remain calm while an investigation is underway. The next thing I know, a library staff marched everyone out of the reading room , ushered us through the fire exit and down the stairways.

Five minutes later, we were back in.

Smokers do not have any space left for their nicotine-high
I can't smoke at home ( I did it one time and it was the FORBIDDEN MORTAL SIN of Christ's time). There are few tables reserved for smoking at public dining areas. I am not even sure if I can smoke at the park or at open-air public spaces.

I can begin to understand how smokers must feel . A fag is like a relief. Kinda like a need to pee. Or a suck or two on some dudes' dicks. It is probably the last vestige of sanctity anyone can have to think, ponder and relieve onself from a variety of situations like stress and the need for personal private space.

I am reconciled with Muiz
I couldn't bear the thought of leaving a cute dude like Muiz. He is a kid too so I have to learn to be gentler and kinder and more forgiving. I told him hurting him isn't the way to building a relationship. It is time-out for now till we are both more settled to start on our relationship, what with my constant moving and his upcoming exams.

Foreign talent
I am most welcoming if it is exotic talent that we cannot find here locally. Like a foreign dude who can bend his dick twice over. And by doing so, he builds a whole cottage industry around it. Like the need for lubricants to oil his machinery which help fuel the lube industry.

But what are the industries our foreign talents going into? Food, malls , real estate and the professions. How can locals not fill these openings?

Sunday, August 20, 2006

A Sunday Of Blogs

These people must be starved of something the whole month
I suppose sleeping in the hallway is inconvenient for all the tenants. Especially with Paul, who has all his "friends" over, spending the night and taking showers, one after another at the same time. I can see he works for a transport agency and given some of the things we have chatted over, I shun to think he will be a leader of the organisation.

Like being afraid of stuff in the living room getting stolen by moi. I think I have a greater legitimate fear, what with my stuff out in the living room like that.

I have a real funny feeling these people sleep around a lot. They are just abstaining this one month.

No wonder.

If I were a landlord all over again
I would have jumped at a tenant like meself. No PC. Therefore no need for broadband and all that hassle. No cooking. Don't need the air-conditioner and ok with a fan system. Out most of the time. Apparently some landlords aren't satisfied with that. Good for you. Daniel, Psycho and the rest of them. You don't deserve me.

I don't watch chinese programs except on the rare occasion
Because I think all that drama serials' themes on puppy love, love triangles, corporate rivalry, revenge and all that junk simply ain't worth it. And some of the foreign variety talkshow programs can be really crude and sex-filled.

Cricket too?
Looks like the Indian community is out in full force at the park to play this sport. It is BIG in India and Britain I suppose as it must have hailed from there.

My ankle is healed and I am running again
Someone must have spotted my slight limp as I walk. This senior citizen approached me with an offer of a traditional Chinese prescriptive ointment for a rub. But after I started on my run, my ankle feels much better. Thus I will dump this visit to the TCM practitioner.


My fingers are typing faster than the Internet connection speed
This is what happens sometimes. I can type real fast with just my few fingers. But the Internet connection speed is so slow, it can't keep up with me. I can't go any slower because time means money.

At other times, while surfing or whatever, the connection is lost and this is really frustrating if you are like doing up some document and it gets lost, forever...

Muiz, I am so disappointed in you
I really like you very much. But you don't seem to want to forget your past relationship and you have expressed your wish to go back to this relationship. I can't stop you but I have stated my intentions. And you wanna meet people for S&M sex. I am so sorry it has to end like this.

Perhaps we should just cool off and see what happens next.

Look at what is being envisaged here
I tip my hat to MM Lee and I don't think anyone should be criticising him in any way, not when he is our founding father. After all, he built this city and I respect him in many ways. But of course the occasional swipes may be inevitable.

Everyone else is fair game though.

But when they envisage only Crazy Horse cabarets and creating all that city buzz ( I am not anti-it as I understand it helps bring in the tourism dollar) but if all else hinges on just this one thingy, I am so sorry it just won't do.

Please start looking at how we operate on every level, policy-wise , in schools, our homes and so on. There are so many issues here that impact our lives, I can't even start to blog on them.

Rent-a-place
Scanning the advertisement pages reveal dirt-cheap rentals at specified locations. But when I give them a ring, they were located somewhere else and prices were not so cheap. What great discrepancies! I won't be surprised that there are scams going on here. Someone wrote on one, airing his grievance over being cheated.

Besides gender discrimination, in this case bias against the male gender, in the education field (think childcare, studentcare, tuition centres and tags like "All female environment"), even some flat-owners want only females.

Like I told Uncle Ng, it is as if females are the preferred gender these days. They exude all the qualities of gentleness, kindness, compassion, goodness, nurtureful, rationalism, inner beauty etc, etc. Try converting this list into antonyms and see how it turns out.

Can we open our eyes as to who are the real perpetrators of misdeeds here
The few instances of mis-behavior at the train stations I witnessed were mostly perpetrated by foreigners, either as tourists, work-pass holders or permanent residents here. They elbow their way into the trains, speak loudly and just about give no shit to anyone.

Don't forget the foreign employers I have worked for which include Malaysians and Indonesians in the audit/account and medical/pharmaceutical fields. They weren't exactly nice people to deal with. They are just here for the job and business opportunities.

What about the few foreign workers here whom I have co-habitated with the last couple of months. Or when I was leasing my room out. They were not exactly reasonable people. They were demanding , self-centred and jump at every chance to abuse privileges accorded them.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

A Saturday Of Blogs

The womenfolk here are strong, sturdy briskwalkers
They cut across the park to get to the wet market and back home. I admire them, doddering along sometimes with bags full of green groceries and groceries. Kudos to women like them, their families at home get fed. And the distance is no mean feat.

Mathilda is out?
There you have it, downright stupidity. She was the one Singapore Idoless wannabe I was raving about some time ago to perhaps clinch the title. But look how outrageously she has been voted out.....That says a lot of our people....those whoever who booted her out.....

Short term gain or long term pain
This does seem to be the myopic view of our decision making at the top level. Please....try seeing long term if you can? Or can't you?

Foreign talent or foreign shit?
They come in droves and they aren't so well-equipped it seems - in the thinking and reasoning department. I entered a public loo today and there were some scribblings on the walls about some China gals. This category of females seems to have gotten into our country very easily and for all the wrong reasons. I don't think they are here other than to amass a fortune for themselves by any means. I am not absolving other foreign women either.

Even their male Chinese counterparts and other nationals seem to be trafficking in some sort of stuff or in some underhand dealings. This is something that the Old Man of Bishan and myself have agreed on. They are like the piranhnas introduced into a peaceful and harmonious ecological pond, causing tsunamis and a whole host of trouble for locals.

The government of the day doesn't have to deal with them on a micro aspect like we do. On the buses, at work, at home, everywhere....

Now they accept foreign law degrees and are increasing the supply of lawyers
To think my appeal to get into the law faculty was turned down by none other than the then-Dean of Law Faculty, NUS himself. But perhaps all these have been for the better. I am not sure. But you can see how damaging wrong policies can impact a citizen's life. Not only mine but all the rest of us too.

Mr Psycho and Daniel are looking for tenants again
There you have it folks, all their tenants are on a short-term basis. The folks must have had it with them. I did too. If both the landlord and tenant had been fair and just in their dealings with each other (and I like to think of myself as one), who wouldn't stay on or ask to stay on for either party?

You got it real wrong
If you think I wrote all those blogs and did some of the stuff I had going on in my head, you are terribly mistaken. There is a huge gap between what I write and think and what I actually do. I rent a room to stay in, not fool around with the tenants or landlord.

I really don't enjoy sleeping in the hallway like this , watching and hearing what goes on. It isn't as if I am paying $250 for nothing. That kinda money gets me a room elsewhere. And I am gonna get my refund for the difference since I was supposed to spend part of the time in Patrick's room and he ain't moving and he is gonna have his mom and cousins come and stay over next month. Well blow-me-down! If this isn't a scam, what is!

If you thought I was bad, wait till you read what this chief tenant does. He has people streaming into his room to bath and for what-not, a few at one go. I am not too sure if they are even here for any tutorial. Gays, especially the bottoms, must be the sluttiest lot I ever know.

I have had previous requests for all manner of sexual acts. S&M like whips, spanks, candle drips, sweat and pubic hair-burns. They enjoy these and more. I think my sexual needs are much simpler than this.

Muiz, it is goodbye!
I have dropped Muiz when I found out that he was probably more into S&M sex than anything else. Goodbye old friend! I had thought you were a sensible and level-headed dude. Your boyish and innocent outlook not withstanding! But it seems that we don't see eye to eye on sexual relationships and I ain't in any mood for wrestling, bruising, hurting and abusing people like that.

I hope you will outgrow this and not kill yourself in the process of trying any exotic S&M stunts. Good luck! That guy you are dying to meet will meet all your needs. And your ex who dumped you (for whatever reasons) and treated you like dirt and scorned you for a month and who now wants to reconcile with you (for whatever reasons), deserve you.

Go get him, Muiz! He is all yours for the taking.

Someone collapsed at Bishan Park
Yesterday was quite eventful. An elderly Indian man apparently had some kinda heart problem and collapsed while walking in the park. When I got to him, he was surrounded by on-lookers (but someone had already called 995). He was all dirty, lying supine on the pavement and his head phone was still ringing out loud and clear.

The big red ants were all over him. I had to squish a few and I tried talking to him to soothe and comfort him. The ambulance came and I must credit the female ambulance attendant for a great job in coaxing him to get to the hospital.

Dwayne, did I meet you a second time again?
Because I don't wanna be in the sitting room, I usually get up early in the morning to go for my exercise and I come home late at night. Uncle Ng whom I met and chatted up the other day can testify to this. So can that old lady downstairs. Thus, yesterday, at about 8pm, I visited the Bishan North Mall to have a quick bite.

That was when I saw Dwayne and his father (I am so sorry, now I know that senior citizen is your Dad - oopsy daisy), sitting down together for a bowl of dessert or something. GOD! Does this mean anything? I don't know but I can't bring myself to acknowledge him as his Dad was with him. What if he thought I was some child molester...?

Was she heeling a dog or her son
A mother was bicycling ahead of her son and she was barking commands. It was comical as she made it seems like she was heeling a dog. But I suppose she had good intentions and was just trying to shape up his son (a tall lanky bespectacled dude) for something....like National Service perhaps...

Over-prescription?
When I chatted with Martin at the gym, he was taking glucose with a scoop of about 50 odd grams of protein. This pales in comparison with what I had been prescribed by the sales assistant (which probably explains it- her designation I mean).

Anyway I am not gonna take any protein or whatever. I am just gonna work out the natural way with good sensible nutrition. I don't wanna be big or something, just naturally defined or cut.

I have seen some BIG dudes before but who are now shrunken when they stop all their protein or creatine or whatever stuff. They were small to begin with.

Paying tuition fees
Among the stuff we (meaning the old man and I the other day) chatted about was this: how whenever you try to find work, they invariably asks for certification. And so what's with a cert? Does it even guarantee us a job? Does re-training even find us a job? (I once thought of signing up for a short IT course but they couldn't say if that will make me IT-employable)

Imagine attending a teacher-training program. I have to pay for school fees (some of which is "subsidized" or something) and then be bonded for several years. This is so cool. Pay to be tortured. Like renting a room and be tortured by a landlord.

A luohan in the park
The swell-headed luohan is of course a genetic mutant which we humans have transgenated. The one luohan I saw being fished out of the pond wasn't anywhere close to that kinda heady size. Like the big dudes, they started out small but with un-natural creation, they became big, real big.

I bought my 4th pack of ciggies
This time it is "LIONGER", a product of Trust Tobacco Singapore. It is $8.20 when I bought it but at another shop, it went for $8.00. This was a bone of contention today when I openly smoked in the hallway (for one time only) but promptly opened the windows to let the smoke out. Patrick saw it and maybe Mark smelt it (well I can hear loud laughter from their room and that unmistakable ringing tone of a webcam hook-up and the MSN messaging tone) but when Paul came home, he told me off.

Well I suppose I was wrong but I had to contend with loud music coming from his room and I can't even make a call on my mobile phone. And all those guys he brings here, one after another, all at the same time. I wouldn't even split the utilities with them as he seems to be using more of it, what with all his companions coming in to bath like this.

Fags, some of you deserve to die along with some bimbs nd blimps and you will!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

A Short Thought Before The Community Library Closes

Well yeah. I read about the case of how some young teen couple had their foetus aborted following an indiscreet and unitended pre-marital "coitus maximus" (according to "My Super Ex-girlfriend").

The laughable part is they celebrate the anniversary of the abortion every year with the "foetus" in abstantia. Think birthday cake with candles, "Happy Birthday" songs and an effigy of a "foetus" sitting on a high stool in a baby's chair. You might as well set the effigy on fire. That would truly be what you have done to it anyway.

Look, are you two teen parmours nuts? You have sex, conceived a "child" together and then decide to abort it and you celebrate its abortion like you do a birthday party. How nutty can this get? Wouldn't a real live baby be more a cause for celebration?

It can't get any nuttier than this, people.

I Have Had About Enough

Murder on my mind
If I ever get hooked up with a gal or a wimpy gay, I will probably have this on my mind.

Computing run-around
Yesterday was quite a day. First I had to contend with the odd opening hours of our community libraries (malls' open at 11am while stand-alone ones start at 10am).

In fact not only libraries but a slew of establishments like LAN shops for instance. I have to be in synch with their opening hours only because I need to catch up with the stock market trading hours to put in my buy-sell order like the last time when I was somehow actively punting stocks.

Outside the library, there was already a queue of people who has the same idea as moi has. That is to be the first to lay their hands on the newspapers . After me , there were people waiting around for the papers.

It has gotten to a point of playing musical chairs at some libraries where those who are finished with the papers chained to the reading table, get up, move to another spot to read another newspaper while a fellow library user moves in on the vacated seat. And another does the same for the seat so vacated and so on.

There were familiar faces - the old, the unemployed, the young, students, housewives and so on. If you seek the faces of the Singapore unemployed, go visit the libraries, the hawker centres and at parks. They are all there.

After that, I had to email a few human resource departments of schools and companies my job application and that included a school which needed a mailed application. I couldn't do this at the library, so I have to adjourn to a cyber-gaming centre further down the street to do this.

Now the school that required a posted application was a real headache. When I had edited some parts of my resume to fit the job description, I had to save it on my floppy. But I couldn't print this out here.

The last time I paid $0.80 for a print-out copy at a photocopying shop near the town centre. This time, I hunted down another which costs me only $0.50.

I walked to Singpost where I bought a pre-paid postage envelope for $0.30 to stuff my resume in, licked the sticky skirting along the envelope's edge to seal it in before dropping it off at the mailbox.

In all, it took me a good one and a half hour of legwork and helter skelter to complete my task.

Meet Nicholas - the face of the Integrated Program
I was kinda lethargic and needed to work out. There were cute school dudes as usual but I only struck up a conversation with one. He is from RI and I thought I detected a tone of gripe with the IP program he was on. He is in his final year and they don't award a certificate so that if he fails the 'A' levels, he has only a PSLE certification to fall back on. If he doesn't make it for the IP's internal examination, he transfers to the 'O' level program and repeats another year.

If you ask me, it sounds like whichever way you turn, you lose BIG TIME!

My stand on illness , medication and how I was a sickly child
This is my stand and mine alone. I will never see a doctor for anything except perhaps a persistent high fever that won't go away even with Panadol. I believe that the medication you take for one illness has about enough side effects to spawn another. I will chuck away all the antibiotics too.

I coughed and rang up high fevers too frequently when I was young. I was a sickly child I guess. I must like have enough codeine to be like the numbed Iraqi women sleepwalking the streets of their war-torn country.

The Society For Men And families
I am glad this organisation has come up. But its moniker is vague. I have many questions to ask like (1) does this include single men (2) what about gay single men (3) what age group are we talking about here (3) Is it just men's issues or do their families play a part, families like their parents and siblings or their spouses and children (4) what kinda issues are they focussing on - career, health, sex, marriage, singlehood, relationships (samesex included) etc, etc.

Two old men and a bagful of gripes (which include half a bag of mine)
I ran into two other older men who are in their sixties and seventies. One had about the same gripes as me about the kind of "foreign talent" we have imported into our shores.

His run-in with the law when he tries to do some hucking on the streets. Profit-driven employers who takes on cheap labor and who will ask you to do anything. The quality of life and if the current thinking has its way, we are all to live out our golden years just sitting and waiting for the GRIM REAPER to snatch our lives away, going by the budgeted monthy CPF payout (which is entirely based on the lives of ordinary folks like us and not the megabucks entrepreneur or civil servant) and food allowance.

The other old man I poured out all my woes, what with the place I am staying at now and the kinda meaningless existence I am living. Mind you, I am not even asking for a CEO's job but a humble , lousy, thankless and low-paying job teaching kids a bag of tricks I hope they can survive life on.

Just so to pay off my bills, eat a meal or two a day, save enough to scrimp together to buy my own humble place and plan for a frugal retirement when I can no longer work because I have no dependants to depend on. It seems this is too much to ask.

I am kinda stressed so much so that pimples have broken out (which I hadn't have for quite a while now) and my mouth ulcers are back. I am not smiling so much so you will excuse me if I should screw up my face more than I usually do.

Screw you too!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Americanised Or Singaporeanised

An exchange of thoughts
Speaking with John (hey he is just plain John, not Bush or Reagan), the big American guy at the swimming pool yesterday, I got to thinking about a few things. One of which I thought was some political maneovuring by leaders of any country.

It does seem so that politicians do fear anyone, be it a scientist or a sportsperson, who because of their international fame and thus political clout, may wrest political control and topple any government of any day. Therefore in their own selfish political interests, many of these upstarts would have to be brow-beaten to obscurity.

It is the same with any song competition, the sort that picks winners who go on to be the next Britney Spears or Justin Timberlake. Any potential Young Turk , who may upsurp the throne of an older incumbent, may similarly be ousted if the judging panel has this older incumbent whose life his music career revolves round.

But in the interest of progress and for the sake of the community, I think there is space for both and that the better idea or person should win, not by any unfair affiliation because of kinship or friendship. This is in the name of good for all.

Otherwise we stand still, stagnate and die.

This is part of what reading (the late) Prof Gould's book is all about too. It has a phalanx of two unlikely team members, a conservative old fart and a brazen non-conformist. But work together they did and look at the kinda astonishing scientific breakthroughs they achieved. The oddballs of the Burgess shale who were shoehorned into existing phlya previously are now recognised to be unique in their own taxonomic groups.

Even Ant Bully has its say on this. How the ants in a colony work as a team to overcome adversity and fight the "invaders", along with the glowworms, the wasps, the gnats and the caterpillars (animals of other species).

What about the boys who eventually turn on the BIG BULLY. They realised they have numbers on their side while the BIG BULLY was just one lousy, low-esteem, manipulative sicko and someone who is still tied to his mother's apron strings.

If you didn't catch the hint here, you never would, people.

What will really complete the full circle of living here
It isn't just the kinda amenities available here that are within walking distance of each other. I just noticed how many schools there are around the area, not least, two premier educational institutions, one a top-notch JC and the other an all-boys secondary school. In fact there is one other same-sex middle high school round the corner as well.

A new community library is slated for opening in September, just one month away and it is a stand-alone multi-storeyed building quite artistically designed.

Gosh, if I can just walk to a school somewhere here, anywhere, and teach. Preferably only boys. I am kinda sick of gals. Had enough trouble with them and I wish them ill most of the time.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Americanisation

Soap for a Docu-melodrama
While sitting quietly, gazing at the lush greenery, two jarring sounds wafted down from the apartment blocks above the pavilion where I was.

One was the cadence of a mother's voice chiding her son for not studying, what with exams just round the corner. The other was of a father hammering his daughter. The helpless shrill voice trying to reason with a fierce and angry one that finally lapsed into screams of pain as blows rained upon her.

If these aren't enough evidence of our pre-occupation with exams and grades and the traditional but oh-so-wrong way of disciplining a child, I don't know what is.

Ant-Bully
Great animation (even though I suspect some characters look very familiar , remnants from "Over The Hedge" , Tiffany and The Terminator for example). It makes ants look so human, you can instantly relate to their world, never mind if it is a mound they live in and their body parts are a segmented head, thorax and abdomen. It also makes us think about how we humans should be so ashamed of ourselves. If different ants can work hand-in-glove together and help each other, how can we not do the same? Aren't we the representative acme of civilisation?

It helps that I have Muiz to watch it with me. He is always great company and we can just enjoy the movie together.

An American swimming at our pool?
This is highly unusual. But what insights he has. Especially on the American system. In particular the swimming kind. Of the Olympics, funding and so on. WHOA! I really wanna hear more from him. This is so intriguing.

Monday, August 14, 2006

My Super Ex-Girlfriend

1 year's worth of blogs
I can't believe that it has been one year of blogging already. I clicked on my first few entries dated July 2005 and I was actually reminiscing on the rain and what-not. I couldn't believe this. The next few were movie reviews on the R21 gay flick "Mysterious Skin".

I guess I have come a long way, if you wanna call it that.

What's on today's menu? Ah......straps and bracies
Today, I bought a pack of tri-colored Nike rubber wrist bands. I also got another charcoal grey beady bracie. My dolphin pendant broke when I let slip my necklace and it crashed to the mosaic floor at home. I am not getting another necklace till I am good and ready. I also got a bright orange carry strap for my camphone.

My Super Ex-girlfriend
This is like the reverse-gender of Superman, with the same sort of thick black rimmed glasses that Clark Kent dons. Except this is G-girl and she is super-humanly flawed.

It is about saving mankind too but this is more an aside than being the main course. The plot is about a love triangle and how falling in and out of love can be disastrous especially if your girlfren is endowed with unhumanly powers.

In the end, we have two superwomen fighting it out over one man. However like the saying goes, "All's well that ends well."

Quite funny and I chuckled half the time. Expect an audience of mostly women and couples and the occasional gays like moi.

Another view to a room
Yesterday I went to view a room not far from where I am now. It will mean that I will be 15 minutes further away from everywhere that I am now. The room is quite nice but a little extortionate. But I do get two single beds and a clean loo.

What else does not owning a PC at home engender and living in different parts of Singapore
I have mostly dwelt on the negatives I suppose. On a positive note, it means that I am living life a bit more fully. I get to be among the community - at Lan shops, the libraries, the internet kiosks and everywhere else I go. I get to observe and occasionally chat with people.

I am not so sequestered as I was when I was surfing and working from home. But home back then was really comfortable.

Moving around Singapore the way I did and do, has opened my eyes to different living conditions and to the different lifesytles of the people I stay with and meet. The neighborhoods are also dissimilar.

So I guess I have more fuel to blog on than if I had been sequestered at home.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

I Shuffle Along Especially On Steps And There Is So Much I Wanna Do

The community here is warm, genuine and sincere
I can see it and feel it. The greetings, the deep conversations, the smiles and the hugs. This is what some of the womenfolk are doing here. They strike you as being all of the above. Going by what I hear, they speak gently and even reasonably. I don't think any has had the benefit of higher education.

Compare this with the educational community we have here. The overbearing battle axes, the conniving sly vixen and the wicked witch of Salem. Highly-educated women with tags to their calling cards trumping BA, MBA and PHD higher qualifications (and so this gives them the god-given right to rule over men?). Has education done anything for them?

What about a cross-fertilization of experiences, MOE?
I read wide-eyed, how all our fortunate local scholars will be sent overseas for their college degrees. They all trumpet a host of impressive CCAs and community involvement. Some would eventually become teachers.

It makes me wonder how these elites could even connect with some of our students who may not be as privileged, especially the dysfunctional familial types.

They can prolly share all their lives' interesting , positive and successful experiences. But can they commiserate with some of their other charges' tragic, negative, painful, devasting even, life encounters? Bulimic, anorexic, hynopompoic, pick-pocketed, suicidal, wasp-stung, nomadic and brokeback, just to name a few. How does this list sound to you?

As part of a multi/cross discipline/ fertilization conceptual framework, how about sending the elite teachers to neighborhood schools and the non-elite teachers to elite schools. That way both sides get to understand how each feels about life, get to know the other side of living life up or living life down. Just to walk in someone else's moccasin would foster greater compassion and empathy all round.

It is like transferring that bitch outta my alma mater, the bitch who pinches boys' nipples, to an all-girls' school. Let the girls know how it feels to be nippled.

Belinda's Pancakes - the humble peanut pancake has come a long way
I assume the proprietor of this stall is Belinda. It is on the third row of shops at the Ang Mo Kio hawker centre right opposite Bishan Park. She is cheery and loquacious. We even got round to schmoozing about her family, especially her 16 year-old daughter.

Like our roti pratas, the humble peanut pancakes now come with exotic fillings such as red bean, coconut (which also double up as fillings for our kutu piring and kutu mayam - two other favourite pastry and delicacy) and cheese.

Belinda's crispy thin pancakes are mouth-watering scrumptious. You must try these large cones at a mere dollar apiece.

More Doggy Bytes
I have seen Siberian Huskies, pomperanians and Chow-chows. What I didn't really know was that they are spitz dogs, dogs hailing from the cold North and a thicket of fur. Chow-chows were once imperial dogs and much wanted for their meat and fur. It is amazing they don't swelter and die in our tropical heat.

Pumping Iron II
Further reading on protein supplements had led me to the conclusion that I should just eat up one scoop of protein per day, workout or no. I will concentrate on my carbo-intake and as I am not intensely into HUGE BODY MASS BUILDING, this will suffice for me to just do muscle-definition or as body-building lingo goes, cutting. I will also do more reps on a lighter loading.

Me big mouth and an idiosyncratic lat-pulldown machine
My 6th and 7th attempt at cracking the Suduko puzzles have drawn a blank (the "Moderate" category). I must have spoken too soon.

Today while gymming, I couldn't insert the weight pin all the way into its pinhole. The instructress quietly came up behind the lat-pulldown machine, pulled the cable a little and BINGO, it could.

Remember the loud bitch from the other gym and you could ostensibly sense the far cry she was from this quiet, confident, non-overbearing and helpful instructress who helped put a wrong right.

Why I am making do without a PC for now
Windows Vista will be out in half a year's time and I have already waited six months. I don't wanna be stuck with any white elephant. I am waiting for sufficient funds to buy up a lappy. I may be careless and leave my lappy behind in outdoor places I surf. It isn't convenient to own a lappy as I don't live at any place permanently now.

Doing without a PC and what this engenders
I have to move from place to place just so to do various computing work. I can't print or work on a floppy disk at some places. I can't read Adobe documents on others. The screen blurs and flickers at some kiosks. I can't log in or open up webbies at times. Some parts of the webs mysteriously disappears, like the chatboxes. I have to put up with noise and invectives let off by cybergamers or library users. I hardly instant message anyone. Even if I do, my addressees need not be online at the same time I am. It is more expensive.

Next week's plans
I have two movies on my watchlist. Muiz and I will watch "AntBully" and it will be on me while he will buy us popcorn. I cannot imagine what we will do in the pitch-dark cinema hall.

Can you?

Friday, August 11, 2006

My Ankle Has Miraculously Healed But I Can't Run Just Yet

What's so great about (the late) Prof Gould's books
For one, it is scientific high-brow content, written on a subject dear to our hearts about flora, fauna and anthropology in the most grandiose of grandiloquence. Many of its scientific principles could be used in our daily empirical observations.

Unlike Dan Brown's "Da Vinci Code", you can't flipped the pages quickly (somehow the cinematic version didn't measure up to the pace of the novel, wouldn't you agree?). You have to stop to ponder and then read again.

Prof Gould writes in clear crisp English and every word or sentence he enunciates means something important. This is a hallmark of good writers and lecturers who prepare their drafts or notes thoroughly where each and every word counts.

Doggone it
After seeing all those dogs at the dog-run area, I decided to read up on them. My read threw up some very interesting facts.

Some breeds could be mistaken for another. Like the Shetland sheepdogs for the collies and the Maltese for the Bolognese. In fact, I am not very sure if what we see here is the Bolognese rather than the Maltese for I have yet to see a Maltese in all its long flowy hair crown glory. But then again it could have been shorn short. Like the Shih Tzu.

Then there are the short-haired, short legged and smaller breeds and their longer-haired, taller and bigger counterparts. The Chow-chow and Collies can be both long or short-haired and the Jack Russells taller or shorter. We see only the Miniature Schnauzers here but there are the Giant varieties. The pomperanians used to be a big dog but has been bred shrunken in recent times. That explains why it barks a lot as it still thinks of itself as a BIG DOG. All the same, it has no qualms in challenging bigger dogs when push comes to shove.

Of Bomohs and Spirits
Yakking with Muiz had me recalling the period of difficult times when my mom and brother actually sought the help of Malay bomohs. As you remember, my dad is Straits Chinese/Peranankan/Baba ( there is some distinction here among the three but I don't or don't wanna know) and my 4th aunt had married a Moslem and had converted to Islam. Thus in a way, we were greatly influenced by malay culture.

Those were the days of watching the bomoh going into a trance and speaking in tongues. Not that the sulfur thrown into a tabernacle of red-hot glowing coal didn't ignite more than just sparks. The usual prognostication at the end of everything was to bath in some fragrant flowers and wear amulets wrapped in yellow cloth.

Technophiles Or Luddites
I embrace technology like I would embrace a wringing wet naked hunk just out of the showers. If and only if it confers a single good or benefit - in the case of the hunk, sex.

Comparing 2G and 3G technology, I cannot detect that whiff of good apart from enhanced video-conferencing and downloads. So too with magnetic strip cards or chip cards. To me they are about the same and one does the job as well as the other.

It is worse if one actually hinders the other like my chip cash card. It works perfectly well on buses but not on trains. It isn't about "progress" but about significant improvements if it does purvey them at all. There are swings and roundabouts with anything new or old.

Mathematical Puzzles
I am onto my 5th Sudoku puzzle in the "Moderate" category and it was a cinch once I got into the swing of things.

The 2nd mathematical puzzle I was puzzling over was deciding which of the two parks near my home is bigger. One is a shorter but broader strip of land while the other is its diametrical opposite. But we cannot ascertain which is the larger of the two simply by determining its shape. A Math lesson of old came to mind and this was to have cut outs of each and then carving one up into parts and superimposing them over each other for comparative purposes.

The literature says high-carbo diet but more proteins for body-building
The 3rd mathematical puzzle was arriving at my bi-weekly need for protein supplements. The pack weighs in at 2000g and one serving amounts to 75g. Assuming I work out 4 times a week and the RDA is 3 servings for workout days and 1 serving for non-workout days, it would amount to 225g x 4 + 75g x 3 = 1125g worth of protein a week. That pack would last me about 1.77777778 week, not even the full 14 days.

Conventional health literature still points to carbo as being the 50-60% fuel provider for sports and workouts. Protein is recommended at 1g per kilogram of body weight only for body-building. Carbo provides glycogen and protein amino acids. It is mythical that more proteins are needed for building bodies, this is what the literature is saying.

Case for a gay Singapore
Singapore was an aberration, so goes the grapevine. We were not expected to have survived on our own after being booted out of the Malaysian-Malaysia merger. Gays, especially in religious circles, are sorta of an aberration (abomination even ) too. You can abhor other gays (like Daniel, Mr Psycho and so on) but not moi please. Moi is a special gay.

Note the parallel tracks between gays and Singapore. There comes a vanishing point when both parallelism disappear and converge. Thus gays and Singapore are intertwined in our destinies. We both live to see day. By logical supposition, we should embrace each other to make this place a gay Singapore.

Why can't we have an all-embracing comprehensive design sitting tight amidst a central and convenient location ?
Some flats are located in very central and convenient places like where I am now. There is a choice between the park, the park connector or the stadia for jogging needs. There are neighborhood shops and eateries. There are sporting amenities like gymnasiums and swimming complexes and libraries for intellectual pursuits . There are cyber-gaming and internet kiosks for edutainment. A bus interchange and the MRT are just a stone's throw away.

In fact I can virtually walk anywhere to get to any of these hot spots for my daily fixes. All the same, if it rains, gets too sweltering hot or I am old and infirmed, all of 30 minutes or more can be a teeny weeny tortuous.

But the flats' designs don't allow in natural breeze or light.

I have visited slabs of apartments in a certain locality and this was tastefully and thoughtfully designed (full glass windows to allow light and wind in , well-proportioned sitting room, bedrooms and kitchen, non-clustering because the blocks were arranged in a clove shape to allow good views and let in breezes).

Sigh - if only they build such apartment blocks where I am now.

This is rent-a-room and there ain't no landlord and so who frigging cares
I am glad the dudes here don't niggle much about the place. That is because the owner doesn't reside here and he has all intentions to let the premises on a continual basis. This is evidenced from the sludge of turds caking the toilet cistern or the disrepaired hand-basin which must have been inherited from previous tenancy.

Having said that, our public loos are a class above what we are having here at home. I will defecate and bath at public joints rather than at home. Paradoxical irony isn't it. As I mentioned, the whole WC and shower has been shoehorned into a tight little space. Today, the hand towel railing has just come off. That is how bad it gets. And I can't be sure who is culpable.

In case you are wondering, it is always my custom to sandwich my carriers between my legs while peeing into urinals. That will free my hands to unzip, untie or unbutton as the case may be and just sprout a fountain.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

How I Celebrated National Day And The Day After

I sprained me ankle at the park and found this
There are markings on the jogging paths and if moi ran 3 rounds, it would be just 100m short of the 10km circuit I have been punishing my body with. It doesn't matter! I could always do the last bit with a 100m sprint or dash. I would imagine there was this eye-popping hunk ahead of me and I was just trying to catch up.

But there weren't any hunks that morning. Instead, black clouds gathered and a storm was brewing. Finally when the heavens broke all hell loose, I stumbled on some twigs and promptly sprained me ankle. Holy Singapore's 41st birthday! This is so awfully painful! It was like celebrating my own birthday except that there were no candles to blow out.

I hobbled towards the information kiosk to seek refuge. I read all the posters it had tacked onto its notice-board. It was then that I noticed a cafe just up ahead. I crossed over . As the rain didn't seem to want to let up , I ordered a hearty breakfast of toast, eggs and tea, which was cheap when compared to the bottle of 100 Plus.

This mineralised water with its sourised taste costs onlly $2.50. However it ballooned to $2.80 after a 10% service charge (the BOSS just went to the fridge and took it out on my behalf) and a 1% CESS.

CESS is a kinda government tax. It is a variant of the word "SESS" and is a colonial ersatz. CESS also means "luck". So I guess if I was luckless to sprain my ankle, I was lucky to be slapped with CESS. Perhaps it is time for CESS to be in cession because it stinks of a cesspool.

The frisbeers have turned this into a game
Well yeah. They are passing the frisbees about like a netballer would, minus the dribbles, just to score a goal at the goalpost. It can be as strenous a game as any if the runs and leaps are anything to go by.

What dog training sessions?
There are three signboards at the dog-run area. Two read the same except one is an "agility training area" and the third says that at certain times over the weekends, the Singapore Kennel Club conducts dog training sessions.

This could be a sign of how we communicate. We usually do so in dribs and drabs with the inevitability that we never really communicate or the listener or reader is left in kinda of a lurch. It will be good to know what kinda dog training sessions are we talking about here - agility, obedience or what?

I left poor (the late ) Prof Stephen Jay Gould's book behind and thought I lost it
I had to retrace my steps the moment I realised that I have left the book behind somewhere. My first stop was of course on the bus. The next was at the MRT control station. Then the public restroom and finally the foodcourt.

I left a note with the bus people but nobody had reported any findings. The MRT control station also turned up a blank. As I had a verbal exchange with the control people earlier, I casually asked if they had seen me holding a bag with the book in it. One remarked he didn't see me with any bag.

I remember dropping by the john for a pee on my 3rd stop and sandwiching the bag between my thighs as I pissed into the urinals. For sure, I must still have the bag with me then. Therefore the bag must have been left behind at the foodcourt.

True enough, when I asked the attendant at the foodcourt , she replied an affirmative, leading me to the cabinet where dear Prof Stephen Jay Gould sits in a small plastic carrier.

It wasn't about paying the fine but the thought of missing out on books of gems like this that had me agitated and determined to find my lost treasure.

Maybe being a Luddite isn't so bad after all
The verbal exchange I had with the MRT control station was when I tapped my wallet on the touch-pad and it read "CARD FAILED! Multiple cards detected".

This was the second time it happened. It only happened when my cashcard couldn't work at the Multimedia stations of the community library one fine day. Believing that it had "expired" (the ATM had shown me that it was expiring in 80 odd days on a previous occasion), I bought a new one from a vendor at the corner of the library.

I have a chip phonecard in my wallet. This new cashcard has the same chip. It has a five-year life span as well. I can't believe one more chip card could render my wallet impervious to the scanning decoder.

Maybe the scanning technology hasn't caught up with the chip cards.

My old bracie has rusted and I got meself a necklace and two other bracies.
The necklace is charcoal grey metallic beaded with a dolphin pendant at its end. The white and blue glassy beaded bracie and the charcoal grey metallic beaded bracie each costs $2. I am chucking away my old rusted metallic bracie for good.

I bought these items from a shop tucked away behind the neighborhood food centre and wet market.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Antiquity In Modern Singapore

Antiquity
Despite Singapore being the modern and high-tech society that we are, there are pockets of antiquity lurking in dark corners of its back streets.

Like this piece of antiquated contraption we call the washer-dryer here at home. It boasts a small circular stainless steel tumbler which only opens up its jaws when a white button is pressed. A looped ring is the pull-key to unlocking and opening its lid. The print fonts on its dials and buttons are all faded away that you can't read what they say anymore.

But it does come flushed with hot water and cleans quite well though it takes a really long time doing this.

I have never seen a washer like it before. When it does break down, it should rightfully be placed alongside other artefacts in the hallowed halls of a Luddite's museum for no-brainers.

I am onto my second Sudoku puzzle
This is rated "EASY" but it still took me a good 20 minutes to finish this. When I flipped to the "MODERATE" category, I had a sense of foreboding as there were more blanks than numbers.

Anything to kill time and keep sane, I suppose.

Pumping iron and Never-never-land has to wait
I consulted a sales assistant on her store's health products. I think I am low on protein and this has caused me the physical and mental exhaustion I think I am beginning to feel. She gave surprisingly informative bits on a whole range of products to boost my flagging physical and mental strength.

Protein supplements, weight gainers, fatty acids and vitamin C. Each promising me eternal youth, vigour, verve and vitality.

My only concern is what if I stop exercising. Will all that muscle built become fat? Will I sag and will I flab? I think I am gonna do a bit more research and snooping around before I commit to anything.

The products will set me back financially by a couple of hundreds bi-weekly. And I am reining in my purse-strings tight. I have only such-and-such a budget to go on and I dont wanna bust it.

La-La-Land will have to wait. It may come up in my next blog. It may not. It depends on what strike me most to have me write a blog on it.

There is one comment on my blog - YIPEE!
Yeah! I noticed it while scrolling up and down my screen. As I am accustomed to not getting any and lulled into thinking that I am writing for myself on this LONELY PLANET, I was pleasantly surprised to say the least.

And it was a GAL. She had nothing but good things to say about my blog. A quick check reveals that she is an "accomplished stay-at-homer" and "expiring poet" (according to her blog). She is most definitely Moslem, judging by some of her links, the photo albums and her personal webbie entitled "Fazidah".

Hey I like comments. It makes me wanna write better and know where I am heading. It also tells me what you think of my blogs.

So please, comment all you like, critical or otherwise. I ain't the government who wants only to hear the good stuff.