Where Do I Stand and Go From Here?

Good philosophical poser.

The answer is: How the heck do I know? Why did Socrates and the whole bunch of armchair philosophers ever started this thinking and creating thingy?

It is not as if like I am equipped to take on the problems of the world which man created and induced all by himself, the smarty pants that he is.

If they want me to solve them, pay me. It is like one minute I am like strolling down a back alley, tugging along a bag of groceries, whistling my ass off , breathing in the smelly and polluted air and the next, brass rivets start pelting down and an entire window frame crashes on me. I am only an innocent bystander, not the builder of the window frame.

After I had picked myself up, dusted off the debris, I certainly have to hunt down the perpetrator of this dastardly crime. I did not go looking for trouble. Matter of fact, I wished I had never got myself in any of this sticky situation. It just happened. It seems like I just walk into a web spun by a black widow and got tangled in its vicious snare.

But when it did, I have to snoop into its cause, usually sniffing out the causators but somehow the causators can't see them as the problem causing it.

Case in point, the continuing saga of AIT Academy. It got itself into the Student Protection Scheme, which was meant to protect the students - their lives and their fees. So how is it that it can't return the fees anymore to its students? Wasn't the scheme meant to do that? What went wrong? Did someone lose his pituitary gland and wasn't thinking deep enough when they came up with the half-baked scheme?

The scheme was originally intended to accredit curriculum, protect students and teachers. In some "road to hell paved with good intentions" perversion, it came out all wrong.

As someone looking in from the outside, I could see things quite visibly and palpably. Not so with the protagonists and antagonists caught in its dramatic suspense. Their visions cloud over and stupefication holds.

It is ironic that as someone who embraces technological advancement, globalisation and lifelong learning that I should be the first to be left behind. Either I am well ahead of the times or someone in hell seriously wants me bad enough to wreak havoc with my life.

I am willing to slog my ass off and learn new things. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't gamble, I don't womanise and I don't whine. I am open, receptive, loving, compassionate, welcoming to one and all. I do not discriminate , engage in rumour-mongering nor do I bear tales. I can be funny, witty and bitchy, all within the same breath. But never the malicious kind.

What would be a motivating and meaningful life would be engaging the world on internationalism, all the while sussing out opportunities in the arts, the humanities, the sciences, the social sciences, trade and commerce.

I would love to be among the international community, be among the scientific, the academic and the arts communities. Diversity and the best of minds. Hear their views, see their cultures, cultivate relationships and see the world. Be at the frontier of cutting edge arts and sciences.

I would love to be involved with education, training and development. Engage youths and the old in sports, community work, arts and education. Work on counselling, charity work and home visits to bring life and meaning to all

At the end of the road, I need to pay off my liabilities and build enough assets to see me through my own geriatric years. It would be nice if this could be in the suburbs, with some greenery laced with water so as to feed my soul, my imagination and my life. In other words, my profund love of nature, the sciences and the arts.

At the same time, my kinship could benefit from my assets and I could live out my dying years with "someone" (of the same gender, thank you very much) and an "adopted" son.

My life is as simple as that. Why is everyone begrudging me of this? Is this too much to ask for in life? Am I asking for the world or am I just being me? Is everyone so wrapped up in their world, they can't tell the difference between dreams and ambition anymore?