I am glad that I have bought and read all those books on psychology and counselling. They were well-researched , well expressed and they have broaden my "psychological" horizons.
In fact, psychology has invented a lingo all of its own not found in common English language. Hypervalence for one and intensionality is another.
I think these kinda very extensively researched, studied, current and practical psychology topics are more recent phenomena.
Back then books, on psychology or any other subject for that matter, were mostly staid, stiff, factual and technical. And usually expressed in formal English language too. There weren't good illustrations as well.
These are books that illuminate many times over what my lecturers have done in a single session during class.
How I Rate My Lecturers Thus Far - Chris Versus Karen
Chris is the worst of the pack. You see through his faking and non-experience. Yet he wanna brag and he has no new knowledge. His is probably a case of licensed but no so competent.
Karen is way, way, way much better though I thought she could relate more practically and it got quite intellectual at some point too. If I got an A grade from Karen, I know I can trust it to be genuine.
The exam results bear this out. Karen's class had many F graders while for Chris, there were just one or two. The large majority was As, Bs and Cs.
That means that Chris was passing people with greater laxity than Karen was.
Reena
What I like most about my current lecturer is that she does regular concept checks and revision. These prove to be useful in helping us understand and remember some of the topics better.
And she does illustrate some points quite clearly which explain why I attended all her classes come rain or shine.
However, she isn't up to date and she attributed many of the psychological disorders to old reasoning, not new. Like depression for one. Look what I found out about sociotropy and autonomy (see below) particularly pertinent to depressed gays.
It reflects some lack of wider reading and experience. And of course contact with new theories and knowledge.
She didn't get many of her facts right either. Sears Towers is in Toronto? Collaborators of theories were named as one and it didn't help that there were glaring factual errors in the study guide and powerpoint slide handouts.
A real big disappointment but I was told that the local universities aren't any better in the quality department either. Accent and probably other competency (or should I say incompetency) issues .
I still think she isn't suited to teach a heavy-going, technical subject like psychology. Like Chris teaching ethical issues.
We Learn Their Pathologies All Right
The video on a taxi panic attack scene was an enactment. Then there were screenings of systemic desensitisation therapies and other kinds of phobias.
But that set me thinking how reading or watching videos on the various pathological disorders sometimes just plant ideas into our heads and we learn them. The power of suggestion and we do learn behaviors?
Hollywood, Bollywood and all.
New Discovery
I found out that sociotropic and autonomous people are more pre-disposed to depression. Perhaps that explains my pre-disposition most of the time.
Sociotropy
Sociotropics are socially dependent people who value closeness and sharing.
I guess it is worse for gays like me because we have to seek out our own kind (social deprivation) and even if we do, they must be our right kind of people whom we click with (personality etc).
Gays, being gays, exhibit some common traits just as any cultural group does. Deceit is one and unfaithfulness is another. If they don't back-stab you or seduce and steal your boyfriend, you will be most lucky. For me these are barriers to sharing and intimacy.
With my break-up, I underwent a disrupted relationship and that explained my depression.
Autonomy
Autonomous people value independent achievement, solitude and mobility.
Time and again I have been thwarted and frustrated in my working career and especially when I sought to start up my own enterprise. I was seeking autonomy.
It is worse being gay as social conformity to a "hetero" mainstream only make us more vulnerable.
We Have To Take Charge And Decide For Ourselves Sometimes, Not Leave Everything To The Doc
My nephew was attentional deficit and hyperactive. He was put on medication (as to what, I am not sure) and today when you see him, he is so overly subdued and passive, a shadow of his past hyper-self.
Ritaline has now been attributed to be a street-drug that can cause depression.
Side-effects big time.
I wished my sister hadn't brought my nephew to a doctor and sought biomedical therapy.
Holing Out And Leasing Out
A check reveals no one is moving out so that can only mean that one of the two rooms currently occupied by Ben's parents and untill now, Ben himself and Rick, are being leased out.
A few potentials came aknocking. One a American-accented couple.
Seeing how both Old Aunty and Rick responded, I have further reasons to believe that Ben is not overseas pursuing higher education in Australia. Something tells me he is still here but where and with who, I can't be sure.
The recurring thought of my ex-roomie just cannot go away. I think the school advert put up by him was just a decoy and the online gay advert posted by Ben and Rick is also fictitious. At least the location is.
TanLine To Seduce?
I have reasons to believe that my ex-roomie is tanning for pure vanity reasons - that tanline and being darker means being more macho in some sense. And probably to hook up with gays which explains his evading me the day I saw him.
As he swims, I don't think it is other forms of exercise that he is indulging in. It has got to be swimming that gave him that deep dark tan.
And the pool is one good venue to see men in all their naked glory?
Coming from this circle of gays, I know that if he is doing anything on the sly, he will come full circle and be retributed.
I pray I am wrong and I want him back badly.
No comments:
Post a Comment