Environmental And Health Inspection

An Environmental Inspection On A Third World Squalor In A First World
The NEA inspector officer came a-calling.

And that was only because I had dropped a hint to the call-centre operator that there could be mozzies breeding as well. That can't be very far off as there were all these upturned pails and tubs in the toilet but Aunt Sally had the "Malaysian" tenant remove them.

I know coz I heard him doing this from the bathroom. And seriously what is the kinda relationship they have anyway. Son and mother? Or something else. Maybe he is not even Malaysian right? A friend. Who knows?

Anyway, I was glad the environment officer visited.

Methodically he checked the place out.

He pointed out to all the debris and dirt on the window sill and how that was a sure breeding ground for bugs. Coupled with the perpetually closed up hallway windows, the humidity, warmth and serious lack of ventilation, if megabugs don't kiss and have sex, the whole place wouldn't be CALLED BUGSDOM!

Remember that all the windows face out to the corridor, so virtually all neighbors have them shut tight for obvious privacy issues.

Then he stared at all the old furniture in the house which was another sure sign of ideal breeding ground for bugs.

In fact, there were all these old marble table top panels, a mirror, yellowed newspapers and cardboard under my bed at that time, attracting dust, gunk and grime.

I had Uncle Goh and his pal removed them on the Sunday they came to spray Shieldtox on the mattress. Which didn't help and left that distinct pertoleum stench everywhere even though it is supposed to be odorless.

Next he inspected the metallic kitchen cabinets and as sure as FILTHY SEX IS BEST FOR SCUMS, there were roaches' eggs and little roach nymphs running about the place.

I wanted to puke at the sight of all these which I hadn't noticed before.

I think I REALLY NEED TO MOVE!