The Last Mohican

I thought Meowy had been thoroughly toilet-trained to shit and pee on the newsheet but there were occasions he (she - well the vet says it is most likely a "she" but I am hoping it is a "he" as male cats don't caterwaul on heat) forgot. So the bed-spread had to be washed in the machine tub.

I admit to being really depressed on Monday morning after a night out at the men's club. I have been there several times already and I have yet to start up a decent anything with anyone.

It was too much a flesh thingy with little consideration for striking up a relationship. There were too many patrons and it was all pure physical attraction, sex and getting off. I will still visit but this time I will sit at the cafe, fully clothed, and chat with whoever is keen.

So Monday and even on Tuesday morning (though I did run part of the way), I went out for a walk instead of running at the reserve (I was also listening to my body as it must have been worked to death the past couple of days).

I was rewarded with hunks, no less. A whole big group who must have finished their dragon boat stuff, and appeared from nowhere. I must say I couldn't ogle as much, hung over as it is from Sunday night (by the way it wasn't even past eleven). A few I recognised as having seen them at Kallang.

A running couple ran the 4.8km course and I suspect they were living together because no guy would pass another his cell phone, his tee and ride in the same car driven by one. They made a sexy and hunky match. I spotted another couple studying at a fast-food joint and they shared drinks. It was a lovely sight to behold and envy. It made me sad too. Why can't I have the same good fortune as they do?

I can't really tackle couples or groups. I am not sure if they are together or just friends. If it was one lone ranger, I could. Then again I won't be sure of his orientation. In a group or duplet coupling, I could probably guess this straight away. I may not have sufficient courage, social skills, lame excuses and so on just to try and get a contact number.

While at the reserve, it was spent in quiet moments of thinking and dreaming. It is times like this that I wished I was with "him", holding hands, smooching, sharing a part or the whole of myself with him (communicatively or bodily) or in unison in sweaty exercise. Sex can come naturally if it has to.

I visited a shop to ask for the price of a mountain bike. It costs a couple of thousands!! WHOA! Don't think I wanna burn a hole in the pocket like that! I am dying to try out the sport as I have spotted groups of cyclists in my vicinity on a Sunday morning (through pure accident as I had to get free newsheet for Meowy) and I know of a few trails I would like to try out.

I am going to plan for rock-climbing, swimming, canoeing, hiking, camping, roller-blading, basketballing and bicycling in the weeks to come. And throw in a spot of clubbing to check out the scene , not regular for sure.

In fact tomorrow, I am gonna try out this breast-stroke and blading, if weather permit. Yes, I am gonna check out the ACS dudes again and see if they will relent this time. *Smiles. And yes the men's club. I am gonna try a different tack. *Smiles. Though I did sit out at the sarabat stall, downing cups of teh tarik and iced milo for a few hours, hoping to catch a few dudes but nobody took the cue. Instead all marched blindly to the club beat inside but not seeing outside. (Oh yes, the new tenants actually played music in their room quite similar to the club's music).

Not that I would have really wanted to join the club. After the new tenant moved in, I dread being in the room next to theirs, listening to them and coming home seeing them sitting on the couch watching television. PUI! If it were my house, I would do the same with my bf. So the club is a convenient hang-out till late when they are asleep (though this doesnt happen all the time).

I think I am really a very mono-gamous dude after all. At most three but no orgies for me. The men's club has clearly proven this. And I was never that attractive dude in school or in my youth. I was that fat, pimple-scarred, ugly toad who no-one ever noticed. I was never confident of my looks, my bod, myself or my all. I was shy and introverted. But I did dream of love, romance and settling down with a life partner. Someone who would be there for me and not when it is convenient.

I mentioned this to someone. I said do not let anyone tell you about things and have you thinking it is always like this. You should be the one who should still go out and find out for yourself. Only you can be the judge of what is and what isn't.

I am gonna make my love life happen now. If I can't I will die as the LAST MOHICAN defending what I know is best and satisfying for me. And if I can't teach (and I mean teach boys), then to the grave I take with me the GREATEST PASSION OF MY LIFE. So be it!