Meowy ( that is its name for now, it could have been Psycho - now how many people would name their pet that after finding it under a mini? ) is surprisingly quite docile when I leave it at home. It is only hyper when I am home. It shitted on the free newsheet and I applauded it. It would come huddle close to me, purring and its phlegmatic sinisutis quite audible. It even nibbles my hair, my bod, my nips and my ears, nose too. WHOA! A really loving cat.
I am really quite tired trying to seek out gay dudes. Not that I have so many chances to talk to some and reach out. Sometimes I don't feel like it. Why can't he reach out instead?
And yes these national athletes are getting my heart pumping. Especially these cute school athletes. He ignored me the second time even though I thought I could get his mobile this time round. He shattered my heart into pieces. Another (whom I had cruised right up the rest-room)whispered something to his friend and I felt embarassed. Don't you understand? All I want is some love, any love, physical, emotional and that inter-connectedness.
OH GOD! Please! Just send me thy loved one! I am really really really tired of this cat-mouse, predator-prey, cruising thingy. I just wanna get one GOOD CATCH and exit from the gay scene . OK?
Not that life around you is making anything any easier. The "hetero" world apparently. Even the gay community isn't as supportive as I would like it to be. This is so sad. I don't wanna be alone in this life. I just wan me life partner and a "son"? (this remains optionable).
Another prayer:
"O Lord
I am GAY AS HELL
I can't take it any more.
Do you have to torture me like this?
All those men and boys are getting me hot everywhere.
I just need ONE good man (boy) and that is all I ask of.
Is this so hard?
LORD?"
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