What More Can I Say? You Drive Me Insane? (Updated)

My favorite playback song is now Josh Groban's "You Are Loved (Don't Give Up). The lyrics resonate with my current state of affairs and feelings.

More On My Coursemates - A Little Prayer
I realise that besides the single mothers, there are also the youths here from dysfunctional families. The orphans, the divorced parents, parents with psychotic problems and the youths-at-risk themselves. Of course, gays and lesbians.

Those who dropped out of school. Those who have issues with authority (I think if authority was correct, there isn't a problem of us following) and those with other problems. Like one who inherits his mom's psychoses. Another who is a bully and gangsta in his school days and another who has brushes with the law.

Lord! Can you please gimme a beau who is surer of himself and friends who are MORE NORMAL?

THIS IS A MADHOUSE!

*Smiles*

And oh, I met a coursemate who attended a school which feeds He-Apes's tutorial school. And I know He-Ape has foreign students in his school too which he got fed from the private schools. So is he the one bad-mouthing me to schools because of his connections there?

Is he even connected to this private school of mine? My lecturer seems like he is doing the private school circuit and being who he is, he probably knows He-Ape. One of the same mould. They themselves have dirty intentions and they think the same of the rest.

And I know Black Widow's son-in-law is in the property line and so is her daughter. Are they working for my agent's firm for this current investment property?

Questions, questions, questions.

Resisting Negative Peer Pressure And The Herd Instinct
One of the few topics we discussed in our class group was peer pressure.

I suggested why I was a loner most of the time (and that means independence and to a certain extent isolation and secludedness) was because I had to resist all these temptations which were negative peer pressure.

I could have gotten carried away and went along with some of these people (clubbing consistently, drinking, gangstaism, etc). But I didn't. I was aloof and I kept my distance.

There are just too many of them and you can't fight them all. So many people, so many different thinking and behavior and NOT ALL GOOD AND CONSISTENT WITH YOUR VALUE SYSTEM.

I couldn't find that one soulmate who had the same values, thinking and aspirations as me or if I found one, but because of my sexuality, we couldn't go much further. Firstly there was that mainstream to contend with and secondly this was taboo and thirdly forbidden and of course even if they were, there was DENIAL.

I hope everyone gets the picture now.

Why I Hate Some Of The Gays, Blimps And Bimbs
The gays can be bitchy, and they lie and that promiscuity and stealth which I hate so much. That untruthfulness in so many respects in speech and behavior.

And remember the kind of articles they put out regarding gay relationships. Relationships are shows. Sizzle is more sex fun, probably more preoccupation with a variety of sex tools and people (this negates monogamity), vital statistics (tool size?) and more moviedom's sizzle.

When sizzle fizzles, relationships end. That means gays cannot work at a relationship and hold down one. Where is the commitment?

The old aunties and uncles are caught up in a world of their never-changing static one of folklore, myths and old (and often wrong) thinking. Assumptions, stereotyping and wrong conclusions. And they have baggages and cynicism to boot. Old and otherwise.

And they are gonna give advice that are so wrong. Like Chris! Generations removed!

The bimbs are now like so Americanised in their speech and dressing. Every ethnic race is now so much influenced, culture is left with almost nothing.

The youths of both sexes are dressed scantily in Western attire and the hair dyes, the fashion accessories like ear rings, nose rings and bangles plus their artsy tattoos (not so much gangsterism any more).

Beating To A Different DrumBeat! Thaipusam Festivities Today Versus The Modern Music Of Yesterday
Look at today's Thaipusam celebrations.

I don't see very many of the local Indians participating. The procession consisted mostly of the foreign workers. With a few white tourists trailing along.

What a drastic change from yesterday's drumbeat of a younger, upbeat crowd of loud modern music makers.

Why I Can Identify More With The China Chinese.
If my mom were alive today, I am sure she would never identify with the China Chinese women who come here when they are much older. The study mamas for one.

I am only one generation away from the China Chinese. And I am sure I can identify more or less with the next generation, not the older one.

The Malaysian Chinese are more or less Malayanised. Yes I am Baba from my father's side but seriously I really can't identify with the Malays very much (save for Muis, my that young friend), much less the Indians.

Unfortunately, I think my mom's genes (or whatever) dominates, so my umbilical cord is tied more with the China Chinese.

The next generation of younger ones - the better behaved and disciplined ones.

And like my ex-roomie whose younger "beau" (I hope I am wrong) is from his same hometown, wouldn't it be beautiful if he was from my mom's Guangdong province, Shantou Prefecture , Chaoyang district (I hope my Mom got this right as my research shows it could also be Jieyang City) and speak Teochew too?

Wouldn't we connect like hell and speak the same language?

You Need More Proof? Remembering My JC And Secondary School Experiences
I have blogged about the class when I was schooling at Secondary 1 and 2 level. That sole Malay classmate was quiet and well-behaved and my best friend.

But the Indians like Ramalingam and Elcana were riotous and playful. Don't forget the Eurasians. I was constantly the object of bully and ridicule and jealousy as I top the class.

In fact I got carried away too by their behavior. You will remember how I cheered and jeered at a sports event and was promptly "pinned down" by the discipline master.

Then I had to contend with the Chinese beng gangsters during my Chinese language classes.

Of course the neighborhood junior college was infested with noisemakers and thuggish bengs.

Maybe classes should be sorted according to temperament - those who wanna study, those who are hyper and those who do not wanna study and are the troublemakers, etc.

That way, each type has a teacher/co-teacher and counsellors/student leaders to cope with them on a theme-defined basis.

Most China Chinese Students Are Studious Types Who View Academics As Important
That explains how some of the China Chinese like my ex-roomie's hometown "beau" (assumption here) and that dude at Andy's dropped out of school because of the kind of bullying and influence they were under.

The China Chinese are usually studious people who excel academically. The Malaysian Chinese to a certain extent.

So there you have it!

Envy and jealousy!

The Profoundly Deaf - Hear This!
I don't wanna settle down too late.

I just spotted a local ex-celebrity swimming and singing super star and his skin has aged so much. We are not many years apart I think.

And we all know that for gays, physical and sexual attraction plays a part.

Doesn't that happen for the heteros or bis as well and isn't it attributable to the media in part?