Of Multiple Potential Relationships (Updated)

The Show Is Over, Say Goodbye
These were the exact words headlining the piece of gay article trash.

I forgot that the biodata of the writer states that he is a local university literature student (which perhaps explain in part some of the dramatics) and that he spends his free time reading and re-watching Korean drama serials.

That says it all, doesn't it?

I mean his contextual experiences for writing the piece is probably gleaned from soaps that he watches on television or at the movies or maybe even from reading romance novels.

At best he gleaned it from a friend's personal encounter but never truly from his own love travails.

Whoa! Are we all gonna be led astray like that......

MSN Chat Messenger Quotes From The Gay Fiends
Wait there is more!

Read some of their personal quotes on the MSN chatboxes and you find a myriad of nonsense. Nonsensical quotes that will probably lead us astray.

For example. I can't totally agree with this one - "Love isn't there to make us happy but to test us how much we can endure". True to a certain extent but is he saying that love is there to make us unhappy ALL the time?

Why love then and isn't love one of the few positive emotions that is encouraged for the well-being of anyone?

Shouldn't there be a qualification? Like some of the time?

What about you? Can you agree?

And the gay fiend at the men's club I blogged about put forth this ..."this shows his market value..." and I was thinking of that hot young wimp at Tampines, the masseur and sex worker who does anyone and everyone from the very old to the young, people of every creed and size and shape.

Market value or promiscuity? Indiscriminate sex. Anything goes for fun and money. Would you select a sex partner like that?

You take the cake, gays!

The People Around Me
I am not blind to my surrounds.

I am keenly observing and only too aware of what is going on around me.

The Sports Dude
First, I spotted this tall, tanned, sporty, muscled, older dude (let us call him sports dude and I am sure he has many adoring fans) at my school spot conversing with an ethnic (he must be one of the community).

He hangs around the gay swim pools and running tracks a lot. I am not the least bit interested in him just as I am not with this other older muscled dude at the gym (let us call him gym dude) whom I see a lot of before.

The Gym Dude
This gym dude was grinning a wide smirk (too wide a smirk and he is so hot, he would have a thousand other suitors I am sure but I ain't one of them) at the cafe when I ran into him there once. The same cafe where the hot young China dude worked before he got transferred out somewhere else. Coincidence?

When I was walking to school one morning with my ex-roomie, I ran into this sports dude walking this same pathway to our "home". Is there this connection between him and my ex-roomie or that ethnic dude I spotted him conversing with? Was he sent to spy on me?

Multiple Fun
I think Ben, the owner of this place (and he seems to be spending nights away now at his other abode which he is leasing out to gays and is my ex-roomie holed up there?he must be having multiple fun there like he isn't already), is keeping an eye on me. They gay community is small and they know one another EXCEPT ME (I don't move around very much in this circle).

Were my psychotic lecturer (oh please, he doesn't have to lie about being married and childless...nobody asked and I, for one, isn't even interested - he was just being itchy and asking for trouble himself), Ben and my ex-roomie linked?

In fact I am not interested in any lecturer. The other young handsome guy Henry or whoever. And I am sure they, me.

The Men's Club Dude
Oh yes! This supposedly NTU student whom I met at the men's club. I saw him around my place here once before (in fact I spotted a couple of the gays from a long time ago who are now staying around here)and once he was scurrying to a cafe where a hot young Malaysian Chinese was working and whom I know and back again to the MRT. What is he up to? Is this just a coincidence?

Celebrities Join In
Oo. I spotted Megawati (the ex President of Indonesia) just not too long ago at a shopping mall. Like I saw Aaron Kwok at Wisma Atria just last year. I hope I run into Edison Chen soon as he is rumored to be around this area too.

The Arab Hindu And His Gang
I am not interested in that fair Arab Hindu or his ethnic gang. He is still not getting the message and is still harassing me! One afternoon after my breakup with my ex-roomie and I was down and out and doing my calisthenics, he appeared before me and sniggered and asked if I was tired out. FUCK HIM!

The Rest Of The Gang
I mean when I was at the dance club, I blogged about how Keagan (a handsome young Arab Indian) threw himself shamelessly at some of the Caucasians and his kind there. And then at the men's club, an Indian who was doing a Caucasian, did the same thing to me, unabashedly and shamelessly. I had to push him away.

There is this lady married to an Indian residing at this place of mine and I can feel something about her. She seems to be spying and observing me! Another ethnic.

Get this right! A person has a choice and control over who his mate his. You can't dictate or push it! If you like an ethnic, so be it and that is your problem. It can't be the same for all!

My Class Dudes
Those guys in my class are just friends save for one or two whom I may be interested in (you know who you are - that fair handsome dude who is consistently absent and yes, even that Malay guy hanging around with an Indian girl who incidentally loves pinching and touching strangers like me when I don't even know her that well and I told her off once) but I have to wait and see how things turn out.

The other two dudes were from the previous intake and they have all but graduated.

The girls....are just friends.

The School Dudes - Some Really Hot
And yes, some of the young Chinese guys are really hot. I am recovering from my broken relationship and it is gonna take a lot of emotional courage to try to strike up something again. So it is gonna take me a while.

The Periphery - Not So Hot Dudes
I am not interested in the few Malaysian Chinese hairstylists traversing my school universe right now or that ethnic-mixed local hairstylist (our first conversation centred on his Geylang experience - it was like so appalling).

Not even that China Chinese wimp (who happens to be a ShenZhen native like one of my ex-tenant) turned one of us (who is mouthing all kinda things - really atrocious). In fact he was telling me all those stories about the KTV girls, his experiences with them and his Genting Casino membership. Of school agents entertaining students at KTVs to make them sign up for courses.

My Hot Ex-Roomie
I would have been very happily and monogamously coupled with my ex-roomie (I mean, I am physically, sexually and emotionally attracted to him - looks, personality and all and hopefully he feels the same about me) but as events turn out (attributable to maybe Ben, my psychotic lecturer and who-have-you) just took him away.

A Potential Roomie
A new potential roomie that came aknocking have me thinking twice. I have struck up a conversation with him before in school but today, in my current emotional state, I don't think I can stomach an ICY COLD dude (his English name is ICE).

I need warmth and I don't think I can melt this ice the way I am now. I am just too emotionally vulnerable myself.

My HouseMates
I am on talking terms with Rafi. I like him and his beau and I treat him as a friend. That is all. I am sure they are not into me. If they are, I will have to think twice since they are coupled.

If I have a beau in future, I hope they will respect that. If they wanna fool around with my beau (because he is their type), then I am gonna fool around with them too. It is only fair. They are my type.

But I am not remotely keen in Henry or the other Malaysian PR dude or Ben and Rick. No exchange here.

I am sure they understand that sexual intimacy is a very personal thing. I can't just do it with anybody. Maybe my ex-roomie can. I mean with Ben or Rick if he is doing anything with them on the sly. It shows how some people can just slut around with about anybody.

Ben can tell me into my face that I am vain because I do look at myself in the full length mirror in the elevator. And that is because I do not have any full-length mirror at "home". And this, my psychotic lecturer has also put across in class (and I know he was targetting me and so I can see a link here between him and Ben)

So if Ben isn't vain himself, then why put on a wig when he is actually bald? And he went for hair treatments. And I also know my psychotic lecturer has gone for facial laser treatments. He wanna moralise about plastic surgery. Take a good look at himself.

I mean Old Aunty says Ben lost them because he was under stress. Maybe he tried steroid injections before to beef himself up and lost them. Not because of stress. How do we know?

There Are Others
There are a couple of other hot young guys elsewhere and I will just have to psyche myself up emotionally to try to strike up something permanent? If they don't wanna, I guess we will just have to be friends, sex buddies or ONS?

Don't say I didn't try for a relationship (Look at Ben and Rick! They are a matured couple in their late thirties staying together but they are still having many ONS on the side) It takes two to tango after all.

Too bad those I am trying to court have turned me down. Like the Mongolian and the rest.

And I do need my sexual and physical intimacy.

With the right people of course.

The Finality Of It All
As far as I know myself, I am in school, first to get that certification to do the job I want to do in schools and for a higher salary. Second, to get a beau from within the school circle.

And it isn't likely to come from my class but from without it - the hot young Chinese dudes.

Not any gay circle. The gym. The chat channels. The gay ads. The cruising spots.

These are all ONS fun spots.

Confronting The Ghosts Of Yesterday On Top Of Problems Today? Do You Wanna Drive People Insane?
Can you imagine the idiocy of it all?

Here I am confronting all the here-and-now problems of today like a lost beau, possible loss of a roof over my head and of live and limb and on top of that, during my counselling classes, they wanna make me go back in time and confront more of my past unhappiness and troubles?

Do they wanna make me crumble and die in front of them?