That Older Generation Who Are Obnoxious
I was not at all a handsome lad in my youth. I was obese and with that kinda pimple-scarred face, I am sure I wasn't appealing in any workplace, social gatherings or just about anywhere.
After all looks have an advantage especially when it comes to sales.
Sim Mong Chai must be one of those bosses. He had harped endlessly on the good looks of the other salesman who was fair and handsome. He had verbally abused me many times as a screw-up. But then again, many of my ex-bosses weren't exactly good lookers either.
I am not from a rich family so I don't own any computer set myself at that time and had difficulty setting up the computer or operating it. Even more so at different clients' operating environment. This was to be the object of his verbal abuse.
He thinks we are all like him. Rich and with money to throw and owning computers.
These are precisely the kinda blimps whom I can't forgive. Along with my ex-teacher JL , the metalwork/woodwork workshop teacher (whom you remembered verbally abused me as FAT MAN), you will excuse me if I told my ex-colleague I wonder if they are already dead or holed up in some nursing homes.
It is now our turn to look at some of these older generation, if they were obnoxious, fumble at new Information Technology.
If We Buck Up, More Good People Will Join Us
I am not solely targetting at the gay community.
There is enough shit-trash out there in the world-at-large. Heteros or bis. We have witnessed many of these. Policies, processes, whatever.
What I am trying to say is that our community is maligned enough. So let us pull up our socks and put out a better image of ourselves in the lifestyle we lead and the values we espouse. That will then invite fresh people to join us.
People who are discerning and who can tell the good difference.
The Learning Program Just Got Better With This GC Module
I don't mean to be rude. But my module on Counselling Ethics was a real fiasco! I think when I recently borrowed a book on "Ethics" that this book actually enlightened and broadened my horizon more.
I know Chris was right in many respects about ethics (or its non-existence) here in our small world. But if he had at least tried, to instill some intellectual perspective and given some hope to those, who may one day, be in a position to influence and uphold good ethics.
When it got to Karen, I found Group Counselling (GC) very useful and practical and I could follow what goes on in class. Of course there were some of her discourses I would have liked to rebutt but I didn't and just let them lapse.
I enjoyed writing the essay too because it was focussed on practical issues.
I Love Psychology - With Certain Modifications I Would Make To It
Now that we are doing the Psychology module, I am totally piqued and intrigued. I am buying up more books and reading. This is like a totally practical and real-world application kinda subject.
Sure, I know my lecturer is transgendered but who cares! I am a little worried though of his/her background - early childhood developmental kinda thingy.
Reading widely, I find that I have access to multi-faceted perspectives of issues. Like counselling isn't exactly directive or problem-solving.
A few other observations here:
(1) Just like the onset of the Industrial Revolution which engendered a scientific management approach to work processes that caused humans to rebel, so it is the same now with the commercialisation, the profits-costs analyses and the disproportionate preoccupation with the economy.
(2) contrary to what Chris would have us believe, sports psychology and counselling have got to do with motivation in part and the management of stress to push sportspeople to their peak performance
(3) in addition to aggression and violence that are tagged on to computer games as their undesirable and harmful effects, I think there are now dangers of players taking on some of the computer characters' persona (which may be detrimental), the issue of nudity and sex, sexual violence and other insiduous pornographic effects
(4) autism has got to be looked at in a different way now. In fact a book I read acknowledged that while counselling theories do account for multicultural diversity (and that means in part sexual identity), it is still very much a hetero-perspective. If a gay is diagnosed as autistic, it is simply because he wants to have nothing to do with the opposite sex or straight same-sex boys(or at least in denial-bisexual or gay sex identities).
(5) fertility issues with a male - could it be that he is bi/gay?
(6) the concept of defensible space applies to anyone living in a public housing and in particular to gays who especially would want their private privacy even more
(7) I can now justify how stifled and suppressed I felt when my ex-roomie was living and breathing in my room next to me by referring to the concept of proxemics (in this case between what I deem as "lovers")
(8) Chris' lecturing style in class, to me, was an environmental stress in terms of dissonance
(9) Even though I think I am finally over my ex-roomie, I am still alternating between arousal, numbing and re-experiencing reactions which are consistent with PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorders).
Then again it could be because I quitted smoking.
Arh...the stuff psychology is made of.........
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
The Sick Community (Updated)
My Class Community
I was kinda surprised and taken aback when some of my group members came up to speak.
We were supposed to share our group experiences but it turned out to be a night of the Oscars where they were grateful for being there that night and was thanking someone or the class. Nothing of their feelings or of their experiences.
Given their age group, I don't think they have very much experience or if they were stuck in a small circle of just one kind of work and a social circle, I am sure they wouldn't be very experienced either even if they were much older.
During the preparation for presentation, I went along with the Directoress just like the rest of them and everyone was nodding in acquiensce even though they didn't really know what was going on.
It was worst when the Directoress who was so confident and sure throughout our skit rehearsal was actually asking me for directions on what to do on the night to present our case study.
I think the school, the lecturers and the study group have to understand that we are all there for one purpose - obtain some paper credentials (fuck you), be able to get a job we want and graduate. Maybe make some firm and good friends.
As for me, a gay beau and he is most likely to be from outside the class circle. First and foremost a gay or bi sexual identity is a must for initiating any relationship. Then the rest follows.
The Community
This is how the community is.
Especially among the old aunties and uncles manning the foodstalls or something.
When they open their mouths, there is nothing good coming out. A lot of incendiaries, a lot of nonsense and a lot of sarcasm. They don't know a single thing, so KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT!
Take for instance when I ordered a whole fish from this food mall next to my dwelling place. The auntie told me she is charging $4 when the normal price is usually $5. She then launched into some sorta sarcastic tirade to coax me into taking it up by hinting that perhaps I will strike the lottery the next day.
If I had been in a foul mood that day, I would have socked it to her.
You should look at some of the foreign cleaners at this food mall.
The Smoking Zones
That is why I keep quiet most of the time. I say nothing. I don't mix around at the gym or anywhere. I try not to say stupid things that will get on the wrong side of people. I say only when I see it to be true.
Otherwise you jeopardise other people's position and lead them astray!
Like the smoking zones for instance.
If the security guards had kept their big mouths shut and not chased us around till we had no place to smoke, then I wouldn't have littered the ciggie. Because on that night, I was conversing with this dude and the security guard chastised him for disposing of it in the big plastic bins, so I naturally walked away to throw the butt somewhere else.
Fuck the mother cheebyes! Useless fucking security guards and one Indian foreigner manning our school campus counter was the WORST FUCKER!
So are you concerned about the ill-effects of smoking and my health or are you more concerned with the environment and the ciggy duties collected. Which comes first?
Anyway after reading about the effects of nicotine on the receptor sites, I have decided to quit.
The Gay Community
Going by the gays I meet and the articles they write online, you can see for yourself the kinda shit-thrash they have been perpetrating first among ourselves and then spreading this to the larger community outside.
Screwing up minds and making us look really bad and promiscuous and sick.
I think all the things Chris, the psychotic, was saying in class were just projections of himself and of what he would have done and desire himself. The six-pack, the saunas and so on.
Real sicko!
Money At Our Expense
It is all about money isn't it?
When my classmate told me how his psychiatrist tried pushing another kinda psychoactive drug for his bipolar treatment, I knew instantly that this was about making additional money.
After all, ALL of us suffer from depression at one time or another. If we were to go by the psychoanalytical recommendations, we would all have gone for treatment. That means revenue and big bucks for the profession and the more protracted the treatment, the better.
Total disregard for the side-effects.
Like my mom who has hypertension and prescribed a long-term medication. Did it help her or did it aggravate her medical situation more? The weight gain, the water retention in her lungs leading to pulmonary odema and finally a congestive heart failure and her eventual death.
More Money At Our Expense - Will You Pay For Counselling With A Quack And A Psychotic Himself?
And the sales consultant signing me up for this diploma course. At the PSD networking, I already got a hint that they probably don't recognise this qualification. At least not in the public sector.
Maybe on a case-by-case basis (as they have stipulated a preferable preference for the 5 polytechnic diplomas) and in the semi-private organisations like the statuory boards.
And to have a lecturer like Chris! Chao Chee Bye!
Dale told me he is a queen. Nobody wants to fuck him even if he offered himself free! Maybe some really old farts would!
If they think they are trying to put me under all these stresses and presures so that I will break down and succumb and go for counselling with these IDIOTS who know next to nothing about anything, I WILL FUCK THEIR CHAO CHEE BYES!
You will remember how in the email reply, Chris asked if I needed counselling. That would mean income for him? To pay a psychotic who will probably give you BAD ADVICE and lead you to further DOOM.
CHAO LAO QUA! From the top to the bottom of the whole system!
Exiting A Business And Cashing Out - Is There Benchmarking And Can You Exit As Easily?
Most businesses are erratic.
Private education, medical health, whatever!
That was what I told my dentist. He had to invest a sum when the new medical centre opens in 2 years time. Sure, medical health is now growing at 20% per annum. But what if he wanna opt out? What are his exit-from-practice terms and returns like?
Can he cash out? Is there benchmarking like in property investment? In property, at least you have historical highs and lows to gauge and you can cash out much more easily.
I Would Have Been Saved If I Had A License To Run A Private School Earlier
Now some FUCKING public sector agencies are asking for training providers.
As they need a business registration and mine is gone since 2005 (I am only collecting mail from Yvonne) and I am torn between re-registering or not (in the former case, that means I would jeopardise my job application prospects since they would see it as a "conflict of interest" - FUCK YOU AGAIN), I just have to ignore them
In any case, it doesn't mean I would be successful.
And I have decided to join the Allied Educators' Group in schools instead.
If they had allowed me operation way back then (there were yearly tenders and the first few I had tendered but wasn't successful), I wouldn't have been hanging in the balance like now.
FUCK YOUR MOTHER CHEE-BYE!
Foreigners Competing With Locals (Who Are UnCared For By The System) - Who Wins?
Recalling, at Wee Cheong Yew, these were the vital statistics of the graduates:
1.) one female graduate from an American unversity (can't be sure if she is Malaysian or local),
2.)that Malaysian dude (who married a local school teacher and who is the sister of that woman I know and that dude was later embroiled in a financial scandal ) from an Australian university and
3.)one Sabahan/Sarawakan Chinese also schooled in an Australian university.
What do the background tell you? Rich families who can afford an overseas education
I was kinda surprised and taken aback when some of my group members came up to speak.
We were supposed to share our group experiences but it turned out to be a night of the Oscars where they were grateful for being there that night and was thanking someone or the class. Nothing of their feelings or of their experiences.
Given their age group, I don't think they have very much experience or if they were stuck in a small circle of just one kind of work and a social circle, I am sure they wouldn't be very experienced either even if they were much older.
During the preparation for presentation, I went along with the Directoress just like the rest of them and everyone was nodding in acquiensce even though they didn't really know what was going on.
It was worst when the Directoress who was so confident and sure throughout our skit rehearsal was actually asking me for directions on what to do on the night to present our case study.
I think the school, the lecturers and the study group have to understand that we are all there for one purpose - obtain some paper credentials (fuck you), be able to get a job we want and graduate. Maybe make some firm and good friends.
As for me, a gay beau and he is most likely to be from outside the class circle. First and foremost a gay or bi sexual identity is a must for initiating any relationship. Then the rest follows.
The Community
This is how the community is.
Especially among the old aunties and uncles manning the foodstalls or something.
When they open their mouths, there is nothing good coming out. A lot of incendiaries, a lot of nonsense and a lot of sarcasm. They don't know a single thing, so KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT!
Take for instance when I ordered a whole fish from this food mall next to my dwelling place. The auntie told me she is charging $4 when the normal price is usually $5. She then launched into some sorta sarcastic tirade to coax me into taking it up by hinting that perhaps I will strike the lottery the next day.
If I had been in a foul mood that day, I would have socked it to her.
You should look at some of the foreign cleaners at this food mall.
The Smoking Zones
That is why I keep quiet most of the time. I say nothing. I don't mix around at the gym or anywhere. I try not to say stupid things that will get on the wrong side of people. I say only when I see it to be true.
Otherwise you jeopardise other people's position and lead them astray!
Like the smoking zones for instance.
If the security guards had kept their big mouths shut and not chased us around till we had no place to smoke, then I wouldn't have littered the ciggie. Because on that night, I was conversing with this dude and the security guard chastised him for disposing of it in the big plastic bins, so I naturally walked away to throw the butt somewhere else.
Fuck the mother cheebyes! Useless fucking security guards and one Indian foreigner manning our school campus counter was the WORST FUCKER!
So are you concerned about the ill-effects of smoking and my health or are you more concerned with the environment and the ciggy duties collected. Which comes first?
Anyway after reading about the effects of nicotine on the receptor sites, I have decided to quit.
The Gay Community
Going by the gays I meet and the articles they write online, you can see for yourself the kinda shit-thrash they have been perpetrating first among ourselves and then spreading this to the larger community outside.
Screwing up minds and making us look really bad and promiscuous and sick.
I think all the things Chris, the psychotic, was saying in class were just projections of himself and of what he would have done and desire himself. The six-pack, the saunas and so on.
Real sicko!
Money At Our Expense
It is all about money isn't it?
When my classmate told me how his psychiatrist tried pushing another kinda psychoactive drug for his bipolar treatment, I knew instantly that this was about making additional money.
After all, ALL of us suffer from depression at one time or another. If we were to go by the psychoanalytical recommendations, we would all have gone for treatment. That means revenue and big bucks for the profession and the more protracted the treatment, the better.
Total disregard for the side-effects.
Like my mom who has hypertension and prescribed a long-term medication. Did it help her or did it aggravate her medical situation more? The weight gain, the water retention in her lungs leading to pulmonary odema and finally a congestive heart failure and her eventual death.
More Money At Our Expense - Will You Pay For Counselling With A Quack And A Psychotic Himself?
And the sales consultant signing me up for this diploma course. At the PSD networking, I already got a hint that they probably don't recognise this qualification. At least not in the public sector.
Maybe on a case-by-case basis (as they have stipulated a preferable preference for the 5 polytechnic diplomas) and in the semi-private organisations like the statuory boards.
And to have a lecturer like Chris! Chao Chee Bye!
Dale told me he is a queen. Nobody wants to fuck him even if he offered himself free! Maybe some really old farts would!
If they think they are trying to put me under all these stresses and presures so that I will break down and succumb and go for counselling with these IDIOTS who know next to nothing about anything, I WILL FUCK THEIR CHAO CHEE BYES!
You will remember how in the email reply, Chris asked if I needed counselling. That would mean income for him? To pay a psychotic who will probably give you BAD ADVICE and lead you to further DOOM.
CHAO LAO QUA! From the top to the bottom of the whole system!
Exiting A Business And Cashing Out - Is There Benchmarking And Can You Exit As Easily?
Most businesses are erratic.
Private education, medical health, whatever!
That was what I told my dentist. He had to invest a sum when the new medical centre opens in 2 years time. Sure, medical health is now growing at 20% per annum. But what if he wanna opt out? What are his exit-from-practice terms and returns like?
Can he cash out? Is there benchmarking like in property investment? In property, at least you have historical highs and lows to gauge and you can cash out much more easily.
I Would Have Been Saved If I Had A License To Run A Private School Earlier
Now some FUCKING public sector agencies are asking for training providers.
As they need a business registration and mine is gone since 2005 (I am only collecting mail from Yvonne) and I am torn between re-registering or not (in the former case, that means I would jeopardise my job application prospects since they would see it as a "conflict of interest" - FUCK YOU AGAIN), I just have to ignore them
In any case, it doesn't mean I would be successful.
And I have decided to join the Allied Educators' Group in schools instead.
If they had allowed me operation way back then (there were yearly tenders and the first few I had tendered but wasn't successful), I wouldn't have been hanging in the balance like now.
FUCK YOUR MOTHER CHEE-BYE!
Foreigners Competing With Locals (Who Are UnCared For By The System) - Who Wins?
Recalling, at Wee Cheong Yew, these were the vital statistics of the graduates:
1.) one female graduate from an American unversity (can't be sure if she is Malaysian or local),
2.)that Malaysian dude (who married a local school teacher and who is the sister of that woman I know and that dude was later embroiled in a financial scandal ) from an Australian university and
3.)one Sabahan/Sarawakan Chinese also schooled in an Australian university.
What do the background tell you? Rich families who can afford an overseas education
They were all assets to the company while those like us, who were trying to further our accounting education under the SDF scheme (FUCK IT) were liabilities.
So do you think we can compete with them? Or the staff would be happy to administer the SDF schemes for us?
Good Scheme On Paper But In Practice..............
In all fairness, the SDF scheme meant well. But when it got filtered down, this the reality.
Assets versus liabilities. Costs versus profit. Additional administrative work and most companies do not like dealing with the government bureaucracies back then, maybe even now.
Would you rather staff come fully-trained or do you think, especially the SMEs and family-run ones, are gonna invest time and money to train their staff?
My Stance On The Various Stratas Of Foreigners Streaming In Here
Anybody can be a gold digger.
Not just the China Chinese.
The American celebrity Nicole Anna Smith was cited as one. So it can be Americans, Eastern or Western Europeans, Singaporeans, Malaysians, just about anyone.
It is just that someone (I bet you they are some of our own ethnic minorities and local people ) is stirring up anti-China Chinese sentiments and I think they are just jealous of their academic performance in schools and taking away all the prizes.
At work, I bet it is the Malaysian Chinese who see them as breaking their rice-bowls particularly at the lower strata of society. The technicians, the retailers, the F&B, the sex trade and so on. I am not too sure if I am against this group.
But I am dead set against those who come here very late in their life stages and take away jobs and university places. While creating nothing new. New industries. New jobs for our people. Especially the higher-income group. The rich.
But those who are born here or come here at a very early stage, especially if they are the lower-income group, I think they deserve the prizes if they are really good.
But you gotta start with our own people first. Those born here and who have been taught too well by your system and at home and cannot grapple with the kinda ethics imposed by the outside world.
Fucking Trashy Gays Again!
I know the people at the gym has been mouthing about me.
The fucking chee-bye gays again!
I know from the action of one particular personal trainer who was mimicking oral sex on a T-bar. He has zero personality so I wonder if anyone would wanna do him.
Then I ran into this Indian personal trainer at Fortune Centre while I was looking for health food (almonds for protein - because if you remember, the veggie exhibitors at the AMK library directed me there) and he must have thought I was looking for the China/Malaysian girls for massage.
Yeah I was doing some massage myself for like about only three times. First was that hot dude and the second time was another hot dude.
The third was some fat Filipino and seriously I can only do massage for that and it isn't easy for a heavyset person like that. I was sweatiung profusely and giving my all.
The faker Filipino trainer at the gym was purposely mouthing something that I was training hard so I can do massage. If I am doing that full-time, I owe my clients that I am fit and I look nice. Not like him - fat, bald and out of shape. And a faker and a carry-balls fucker! You should see him ingratiate himself to his clients and to the senior personal trainers.
And he will only get a massage from me - not sex.....I won't do him even if he pays me!
So I pick my clients!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Psycho-Analytics For PsychoPaths (Updated)
Once More With Hate For The Profoundly Deaf
I treat the girls (Chinese, Malay, Indian, Australian, whatever) in my class as distant friends.
I am not even remotely interested in any of them out of class, except only during classes because we have to work together. And there is no attraction - either physically or sexually.
And I have made my stance very clearly right from the beginning.
If the roof over me is gonna be taken away and I have to live some more with the gays or familial people and I am kept from having a gay beau or the career I aspire to, I won't be finding life any more meaningful or the way I want it to be.
I pay rent, I stay there. I don't go ka-chou others. Especially if they are already coupled and only if it is mutual, we are singles and we like each other. I have not encountered many right now.
I won't start from scratch at my age any more and I am increasingly hating life and the people I meet. I am emotionally drained and depleted.
That has got to be made very clear.
Under the current stresses I am facing, and until I find that ever elusive gay beau, you WILL EXCUSE ME IF I go for my endless sex therapy sessions.
I NEED IT MORE THAN EVER NOW!
I Survived Relatively Unscathed
Indeed I think I graduated from the university of life.
From childhood to school to home and finally at work.
I could possibly write something like "......dabbles in various functions as an administrator, sales and marketor and trainer in the fields of banking, finance and accounts, IT, medical and pharmaceutical, media communications, real estate and education....." in my CV.
And I have varied living (my family and the people I lived with both as a lessor and lessee) working, love (all those relationships), educational (all those learning programs I have attended like Toastmastering, the government sector and private sector ones) and travelling experiences to boot.
I am just glad I survived and I didn't project any of these bad experiences onto the people around me. I may have unconsciously projected some of them at times but I always check myself and I have always tried to be nice and kind.
I can't say the same of that ex-colleague of mine who worked for Sim Mong Chai. Just yesterday he was screaming his head off on the mobile to one of his boys. I could hear him from my side and I thought the boy took it quite well.
I would have socked it to him if I had worked for him like I did Sim Mong Chai on the last day of my tenure.
ChildHood
First a very bad familial life. When I was young, my mother was a verbal abuser. She would verbally lash at me for not tying my shoelaces (but she didn't show me how) or that I tend to walk with my head stooped.
These were cutting words that must have eaten into my self-esteem and self-image.
Of course there were verbal abuses hurled my way from my classmates like Teo Kiam Yong, the artist, regarding the craters on my pimpled, scarred face.
Home
Then there was Big Brother to contend with at home. A physically violent bully and another verbal abuser, who himself must be a victim of abuse. From school to home, he was always getting into trouble with authorities. Plus pot shots taken at me from my two sisters.
And these two sisters were projecting abuses onto my nephews and niece.
The screams, the vulgarities they hurl, the self-fulling prophecy of being academic lower-rungs like themselves, these were their doing on their children.
And they were smokers, teenage rebels themselves and everything else. Second sister worked as a sales assistant for a while before she remarried just like she did before her first marriage.
Third sister worked stints at Times Publishing and Philips factory for some time. So I don't expect my second sister to have much working experience.
So my nephews and niece stay away from home most of the time, like I did when I was staying with Bro and Mom because of the kinda environment they were living in.
Work
Today after my meal and as I brushed my teeth at the loo, I noticed that the vanity top was from one of my past work places. The insignia brand was "Vansen" and the company was Alshines Trading.
The vanity basin still has all those flaws those ex-clients complained about. The staining, the gaping gaps, the need for polishing, the inability to withstand normal wear and tear. All those time spent attending to numerous complaints when I should be selling.
A family of brothers and one sister plus a mother.
One brother visits prostitutes regularly at Geylang despite being married. Another just sits around the office, serve as a watchdog and intimidate staff like the female accountant and myself. A thug.
A mother who hounds the staff and of course it is all about money again.
A factory floor manager who is a screamer.
And they are from rags-to-riches successful entrepreneurs. Selling flawed and defective products and making money out of it but destroying our lives miserably.
More Work Issues - The Skills Development Fund
And I remember how hard it was to try and work and study at the same time. What more to obtain funding.
The Skills Development Fund for one. This is funded in part by the levy imposed on companies whose employees' remuneration is under a certain stipulated amount. And the collection is funded in another part by the government.
The SDF is a scheme of sponsoring employees for skills retraining or upgrading by companies. If I remember the scheme correctly (that was like donkey years ago), it was like 70% back then by the government and the other portion is footed by the company.
Most companies, SMEs like CPA firms Wee Cheong Yew (under the tyrannical tripartite partnership of a psychotic father and son (Mah Kah Leong) team) where I work for were very relunctant and unsupportive of staff to be developed under the SDF.
They would stipulate tenure and only collect the government portion of the levy on our behalf. That means the other part usually comes from our own pockets. On a salary scale of $1200, that eats into our take-home pay on top of other costs.
But that would be an infringement. It is a company-sponsored scheme after all, not a government-employee funded scheme. Some companies like He-Ape are doing well after all. They got enriched by their businesses.
But it is true this adds on to their payroll cost. The SDL and now this.
I treat the girls (Chinese, Malay, Indian, Australian, whatever) in my class as distant friends.
I am not even remotely interested in any of them out of class, except only during classes because we have to work together. And there is no attraction - either physically or sexually.
And I have made my stance very clearly right from the beginning.
If the roof over me is gonna be taken away and I have to live some more with the gays or familial people and I am kept from having a gay beau or the career I aspire to, I won't be finding life any more meaningful or the way I want it to be.
I pay rent, I stay there. I don't go ka-chou others. Especially if they are already coupled and only if it is mutual, we are singles and we like each other. I have not encountered many right now.
I won't start from scratch at my age any more and I am increasingly hating life and the people I meet. I am emotionally drained and depleted.
That has got to be made very clear.
Under the current stresses I am facing, and until I find that ever elusive gay beau, you WILL EXCUSE ME IF I go for my endless sex therapy sessions.
I NEED IT MORE THAN EVER NOW!
I Survived Relatively Unscathed
Indeed I think I graduated from the university of life.
From childhood to school to home and finally at work.
I could possibly write something like "......dabbles in various functions as an administrator, sales and marketor and trainer in the fields of banking, finance and accounts, IT, medical and pharmaceutical, media communications, real estate and education....." in my CV.
And I have varied living (my family and the people I lived with both as a lessor and lessee) working, love (all those relationships), educational (all those learning programs I have attended like Toastmastering, the government sector and private sector ones) and travelling experiences to boot.
I am just glad I survived and I didn't project any of these bad experiences onto the people around me. I may have unconsciously projected some of them at times but I always check myself and I have always tried to be nice and kind.
I can't say the same of that ex-colleague of mine who worked for Sim Mong Chai. Just yesterday he was screaming his head off on the mobile to one of his boys. I could hear him from my side and I thought the boy took it quite well.
I would have socked it to him if I had worked for him like I did Sim Mong Chai on the last day of my tenure.
ChildHood
First a very bad familial life. When I was young, my mother was a verbal abuser. She would verbally lash at me for not tying my shoelaces (but she didn't show me how) or that I tend to walk with my head stooped.
These were cutting words that must have eaten into my self-esteem and self-image.
Of course there were verbal abuses hurled my way from my classmates like Teo Kiam Yong, the artist, regarding the craters on my pimpled, scarred face.
Home
Then there was Big Brother to contend with at home. A physically violent bully and another verbal abuser, who himself must be a victim of abuse. From school to home, he was always getting into trouble with authorities. Plus pot shots taken at me from my two sisters.
And these two sisters were projecting abuses onto my nephews and niece.
The screams, the vulgarities they hurl, the self-fulling prophecy of being academic lower-rungs like themselves, these were their doing on their children.
And they were smokers, teenage rebels themselves and everything else. Second sister worked as a sales assistant for a while before she remarried just like she did before her first marriage.
Third sister worked stints at Times Publishing and Philips factory for some time. So I don't expect my second sister to have much working experience.
So my nephews and niece stay away from home most of the time, like I did when I was staying with Bro and Mom because of the kinda environment they were living in.
Work
Today after my meal and as I brushed my teeth at the loo, I noticed that the vanity top was from one of my past work places. The insignia brand was "Vansen" and the company was Alshines Trading.
The vanity basin still has all those flaws those ex-clients complained about. The staining, the gaping gaps, the need for polishing, the inability to withstand normal wear and tear. All those time spent attending to numerous complaints when I should be selling.
A family of brothers and one sister plus a mother.
One brother visits prostitutes regularly at Geylang despite being married. Another just sits around the office, serve as a watchdog and intimidate staff like the female accountant and myself. A thug.
A mother who hounds the staff and of course it is all about money again.
A factory floor manager who is a screamer.
And they are from rags-to-riches successful entrepreneurs. Selling flawed and defective products and making money out of it but destroying our lives miserably.
More Work Issues - The Skills Development Fund
And I remember how hard it was to try and work and study at the same time. What more to obtain funding.
The Skills Development Fund for one. This is funded in part by the levy imposed on companies whose employees' remuneration is under a certain stipulated amount. And the collection is funded in another part by the government.
The SDF is a scheme of sponsoring employees for skills retraining or upgrading by companies. If I remember the scheme correctly (that was like donkey years ago), it was like 70% back then by the government and the other portion is footed by the company.
Most companies, SMEs like CPA firms Wee Cheong Yew (under the tyrannical tripartite partnership of a psychotic father and son (Mah Kah Leong) team) where I work for were very relunctant and unsupportive of staff to be developed under the SDF.
They would stipulate tenure and only collect the government portion of the levy on our behalf. That means the other part usually comes from our own pockets. On a salary scale of $1200, that eats into our take-home pay on top of other costs.
But that would be an infringement. It is a company-sponsored scheme after all, not a government-employee funded scheme. Some companies like He-Ape are doing well after all. They got enriched by their businesses.
But it is true this adds on to their payroll cost. The SDL and now this.
Imagine the lack of information then. IT wasn't preponderant and websites were not the inthing like now where info is readily available .
Do you think company staff (sole proprietors and small partnerships) like the additional administrative workload to administer the SDF schemes or with the government? Or if they even know how to go about it? Even if there were info like now, these people may not have the language ability to grapple with the knowledge.
If they even have a HR team in the first place?
So there you have it folks! What kinda support and funding for employees are there?
"Educators" - I Suggest We Fire Them And Re-Hire On A Clean Slate
Not to mention some of the educators I met in school when I did my sales and marketing rounds for my enrichment programs. This fat, stout, short, old woman at First Toa Payoh Primary for one. Her posturing says it all. Baggaged and god-knows-what-else.
I shun to think of the charges under their care. What will they pick up? They can't rationalise nor reason anymore. Victims themselves of abuses from their past experiences under their superiors, colleagues or the SYSTEM perhaps?
Look at the state of the private schools here. All those fakers and no-experiencers masquerading as educators. Daryl Chan, the eunuch, with his faked accented English to claim higher overseas Western-style educational qualifications.
My first modular class had an Indian/Eurasian working in the prisons service and he speaks very well and confidently. He could probably be easily passed off as a law lecturer in any private law school.
For my counselling class, all those skewed psyhcoanalytics. From the toys to the tests. Undeterministic and utter fakes. On top of that, lecturers likle Chris and all his psychoanalytics. And an intellectual Karen with only some experience.
And the quality of the materials. Grammar, spelling mistakes on top of wrong usage of words. Twisty English language that strings sentences together in such a way that it says nothing at the end of the day.
What more can I say?
You Need Help
The real people who need psychotherapy are people like Sim Mong Chai, Richard, He Ape and his family members, She-Ape, the eunuch Daryl Chan, the two gays working for He-Ape, Wicked StepMother and the rest of the gang.
Psychopaths and psychotics.
Or You Need More Evidence?
This whole place reeks of evil, madness, money, abuse and IT STINKS BIG TIME.
From top to bottom. The role models.
Need I say more?
Check Youself And No More Lame Excuses! Stop The Vicious Cycle Right Now!
The whole crux is this. The transference, counter-transference and the vicious cycle has to stop. The buck has to stop right here.
You were raped. So you gotta rape someone else. You were abused. So you have to abuse someone else. You were bullied. So you gotta bully someone else. That is no longer a valid excuse.
Check yourself and STOP IT.
That is why I speak little. I don't wanna say the wrong thing. Or dispense the wrong advice. Like Chris.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Of Multiple Potential Relationships (Updated)
The Show Is Over, Say Goodbye
These were the exact words headlining the piece of gay article trash.
I forgot that the biodata of the writer states that he is a local university literature student (which perhaps explain in part some of the dramatics) and that he spends his free time reading and re-watching Korean drama serials.
That says it all, doesn't it?
I mean his contextual experiences for writing the piece is probably gleaned from soaps that he watches on television or at the movies or maybe even from reading romance novels.
At best he gleaned it from a friend's personal encounter but never truly from his own love travails.
Whoa! Are we all gonna be led astray like that......
MSN Chat Messenger Quotes From The Gay Fiends
Wait there is more!
Read some of their personal quotes on the MSN chatboxes and you find a myriad of nonsense. Nonsensical quotes that will probably lead us astray.
For example. I can't totally agree with this one - "Love isn't there to make us happy but to test us how much we can endure". True to a certain extent but is he saying that love is there to make us unhappy ALL the time?
Why love then and isn't love one of the few positive emotions that is encouraged for the well-being of anyone?
Shouldn't there be a qualification? Like some of the time?
What about you? Can you agree?
And the gay fiend at the men's club I blogged about put forth this ..."this shows his market value..." and I was thinking of that hot young wimp at Tampines, the masseur and sex worker who does anyone and everyone from the very old to the young, people of every creed and size and shape.
Market value or promiscuity? Indiscriminate sex. Anything goes for fun and money. Would you select a sex partner like that?
You take the cake, gays!
The People Around Me
I am not blind to my surrounds.
I am keenly observing and only too aware of what is going on around me.
The Sports Dude
First, I spotted this tall, tanned, sporty, muscled, older dude (let us call him sports dude and I am sure he has many adoring fans) at my school spot conversing with an ethnic (he must be one of the community).
He hangs around the gay swim pools and running tracks a lot. I am not the least bit interested in him just as I am not with this other older muscled dude at the gym (let us call him gym dude) whom I see a lot of before.
The Gym Dude
This gym dude was grinning a wide smirk (too wide a smirk and he is so hot, he would have a thousand other suitors I am sure but I ain't one of them) at the cafe when I ran into him there once. The same cafe where the hot young China dude worked before he got transferred out somewhere else. Coincidence?
When I was walking to school one morning with my ex-roomie, I ran into this sports dude walking this same pathway to our "home". Is there this connection between him and my ex-roomie or that ethnic dude I spotted him conversing with? Was he sent to spy on me?
Multiple Fun
I think Ben, the owner of this place (and he seems to be spending nights away now at his other abode which he is leasing out to gays and is my ex-roomie holed up there?he must be having multiple fun there like he isn't already), is keeping an eye on me. They gay community is small and they know one another EXCEPT ME (I don't move around very much in this circle).
Were my psychotic lecturer (oh please, he doesn't have to lie about being married and childless...nobody asked and I, for one, isn't even interested - he was just being itchy and asking for trouble himself), Ben and my ex-roomie linked?
In fact I am not interested in any lecturer. The other young handsome guy Henry or whoever. And I am sure they, me.
The Men's Club Dude
Oh yes! This supposedly NTU student whom I met at the men's club. I saw him around my place here once before (in fact I spotted a couple of the gays from a long time ago who are now staying around here)and once he was scurrying to a cafe where a hot young Malaysian Chinese was working and whom I know and back again to the MRT. What is he up to? Is this just a coincidence?
Celebrities Join In
Oo. I spotted Megawati (the ex President of Indonesia) just not too long ago at a shopping mall. Like I saw Aaron Kwok at Wisma Atria just last year. I hope I run into Edison Chen soon as he is rumored to be around this area too.
The Arab Hindu And His Gang
I am not interested in that fair Arab Hindu or his ethnic gang. He is still not getting the message and is still harassing me! One afternoon after my breakup with my ex-roomie and I was down and out and doing my calisthenics, he appeared before me and sniggered and asked if I was tired out. FUCK HIM!
The Rest Of The Gang
I mean when I was at the dance club, I blogged about how Keagan (a handsome young Arab Indian) threw himself shamelessly at some of the Caucasians and his kind there. And then at the men's club, an Indian who was doing a Caucasian, did the same thing to me, unabashedly and shamelessly. I had to push him away.
There is this lady married to an Indian residing at this place of mine and I can feel something about her. She seems to be spying and observing me! Another ethnic.
Get this right! A person has a choice and control over who his mate his. You can't dictate or push it! If you like an ethnic, so be it and that is your problem. It can't be the same for all!
My Class Dudes
Those guys in my class are just friends save for one or two whom I may be interested in (you know who you are - that fair handsome dude who is consistently absent and yes, even that Malay guy hanging around with an Indian girl who incidentally loves pinching and touching strangers like me when I don't even know her that well and I told her off once) but I have to wait and see how things turn out.
The other two dudes were from the previous intake and they have all but graduated.
The girls....are just friends.
The School Dudes - Some Really Hot
And yes, some of the young Chinese guys are really hot. I am recovering from my broken relationship and it is gonna take a lot of emotional courage to try to strike up something again. So it is gonna take me a while.
The Periphery - Not So Hot Dudes
I am not interested in the few Malaysian Chinese hairstylists traversing my school universe right now or that ethnic-mixed local hairstylist (our first conversation centred on his Geylang experience - it was like so appalling).
Not even that China Chinese wimp (who happens to be a ShenZhen native like one of my ex-tenant) turned one of us (who is mouthing all kinda things - really atrocious). In fact he was telling me all those stories about the KTV girls, his experiences with them and his Genting Casino membership. Of school agents entertaining students at KTVs to make them sign up for courses.
My Hot Ex-Roomie
I would have been very happily and monogamously coupled with my ex-roomie (I mean, I am physically, sexually and emotionally attracted to him - looks, personality and all and hopefully he feels the same about me) but as events turn out (attributable to maybe Ben, my psychotic lecturer and who-have-you) just took him away.
A Potential Roomie
A new potential roomie that came aknocking have me thinking twice. I have struck up a conversation with him before in school but today, in my current emotional state, I don't think I can stomach an ICY COLD dude (his English name is ICE).
I need warmth and I don't think I can melt this ice the way I am now. I am just too emotionally vulnerable myself.
My HouseMates
I am on talking terms with Rafi. I like him and his beau and I treat him as a friend. That is all. I am sure they are not into me. If they are, I will have to think twice since they are coupled.
If I have a beau in future, I hope they will respect that. If they wanna fool around with my beau (because he is their type), then I am gonna fool around with them too. It is only fair. They are my type.
But I am not remotely keen in Henry or the other Malaysian PR dude or Ben and Rick. No exchange here.
I am sure they understand that sexual intimacy is a very personal thing. I can't just do it with anybody. Maybe my ex-roomie can. I mean with Ben or Rick if he is doing anything with them on the sly. It shows how some people can just slut around with about anybody.
Ben can tell me into my face that I am vain because I do look at myself in the full length mirror in the elevator. And that is because I do not have any full-length mirror at "home". And this, my psychotic lecturer has also put across in class (and I know he was targetting me and so I can see a link here between him and Ben)
So if Ben isn't vain himself, then why put on a wig when he is actually bald? And he went for hair treatments. And I also know my psychotic lecturer has gone for facial laser treatments. He wanna moralise about plastic surgery. Take a good look at himself.
I mean Old Aunty says Ben lost them because he was under stress. Maybe he tried steroid injections before to beef himself up and lost them. Not because of stress. How do we know?
There Are Others
There are a couple of other hot young guys elsewhere and I will just have to psyche myself up emotionally to try to strike up something permanent? If they don't wanna, I guess we will just have to be friends, sex buddies or ONS?
Don't say I didn't try for a relationship (Look at Ben and Rick! They are a matured couple in their late thirties staying together but they are still having many ONS on the side) It takes two to tango after all.
Too bad those I am trying to court have turned me down. Like the Mongolian and the rest.
And I do need my sexual and physical intimacy.
With the right people of course.
The Finality Of It All
As far as I know myself, I am in school, first to get that certification to do the job I want to do in schools and for a higher salary. Second, to get a beau from within the school circle.
And it isn't likely to come from my class but from without it - the hot young Chinese dudes.
Not any gay circle. The gym. The chat channels. The gay ads. The cruising spots.
These are all ONS fun spots.
Confronting The Ghosts Of Yesterday On Top Of Problems Today? Do You Wanna Drive People Insane?
Can you imagine the idiocy of it all?
Here I am confronting all the here-and-now problems of today like a lost beau, possible loss of a roof over my head and of live and limb and on top of that, during my counselling classes, they wanna make me go back in time and confront more of my past unhappiness and troubles?
Do they wanna make me crumble and die in front of them?
These were the exact words headlining the piece of gay article trash.
I forgot that the biodata of the writer states that he is a local university literature student (which perhaps explain in part some of the dramatics) and that he spends his free time reading and re-watching Korean drama serials.
That says it all, doesn't it?
I mean his contextual experiences for writing the piece is probably gleaned from soaps that he watches on television or at the movies or maybe even from reading romance novels.
At best he gleaned it from a friend's personal encounter but never truly from his own love travails.
Whoa! Are we all gonna be led astray like that......
MSN Chat Messenger Quotes From The Gay Fiends
Wait there is more!
Read some of their personal quotes on the MSN chatboxes and you find a myriad of nonsense. Nonsensical quotes that will probably lead us astray.
For example. I can't totally agree with this one - "Love isn't there to make us happy but to test us how much we can endure". True to a certain extent but is he saying that love is there to make us unhappy ALL the time?
Why love then and isn't love one of the few positive emotions that is encouraged for the well-being of anyone?
Shouldn't there be a qualification? Like some of the time?
What about you? Can you agree?
And the gay fiend at the men's club I blogged about put forth this ..."this shows his market value..." and I was thinking of that hot young wimp at Tampines, the masseur and sex worker who does anyone and everyone from the very old to the young, people of every creed and size and shape.
Market value or promiscuity? Indiscriminate sex. Anything goes for fun and money. Would you select a sex partner like that?
You take the cake, gays!
The People Around Me
I am not blind to my surrounds.
I am keenly observing and only too aware of what is going on around me.
The Sports Dude
First, I spotted this tall, tanned, sporty, muscled, older dude (let us call him sports dude and I am sure he has many adoring fans) at my school spot conversing with an ethnic (he must be one of the community).
He hangs around the gay swim pools and running tracks a lot. I am not the least bit interested in him just as I am not with this other older muscled dude at the gym (let us call him gym dude) whom I see a lot of before.
The Gym Dude
This gym dude was grinning a wide smirk (too wide a smirk and he is so hot, he would have a thousand other suitors I am sure but I ain't one of them) at the cafe when I ran into him there once. The same cafe where the hot young China dude worked before he got transferred out somewhere else. Coincidence?
When I was walking to school one morning with my ex-roomie, I ran into this sports dude walking this same pathway to our "home". Is there this connection between him and my ex-roomie or that ethnic dude I spotted him conversing with? Was he sent to spy on me?
Multiple Fun
I think Ben, the owner of this place (and he seems to be spending nights away now at his other abode which he is leasing out to gays and is my ex-roomie holed up there?he must be having multiple fun there like he isn't already), is keeping an eye on me. They gay community is small and they know one another EXCEPT ME (I don't move around very much in this circle).
Were my psychotic lecturer (oh please, he doesn't have to lie about being married and childless...nobody asked and I, for one, isn't even interested - he was just being itchy and asking for trouble himself), Ben and my ex-roomie linked?
In fact I am not interested in any lecturer. The other young handsome guy Henry or whoever. And I am sure they, me.
The Men's Club Dude
Oh yes! This supposedly NTU student whom I met at the men's club. I saw him around my place here once before (in fact I spotted a couple of the gays from a long time ago who are now staying around here)and once he was scurrying to a cafe where a hot young Malaysian Chinese was working and whom I know and back again to the MRT. What is he up to? Is this just a coincidence?
Celebrities Join In
Oo. I spotted Megawati (the ex President of Indonesia) just not too long ago at a shopping mall. Like I saw Aaron Kwok at Wisma Atria just last year. I hope I run into Edison Chen soon as he is rumored to be around this area too.
The Arab Hindu And His Gang
I am not interested in that fair Arab Hindu or his ethnic gang. He is still not getting the message and is still harassing me! One afternoon after my breakup with my ex-roomie and I was down and out and doing my calisthenics, he appeared before me and sniggered and asked if I was tired out. FUCK HIM!
The Rest Of The Gang
I mean when I was at the dance club, I blogged about how Keagan (a handsome young Arab Indian) threw himself shamelessly at some of the Caucasians and his kind there. And then at the men's club, an Indian who was doing a Caucasian, did the same thing to me, unabashedly and shamelessly. I had to push him away.
There is this lady married to an Indian residing at this place of mine and I can feel something about her. She seems to be spying and observing me! Another ethnic.
Get this right! A person has a choice and control over who his mate his. You can't dictate or push it! If you like an ethnic, so be it and that is your problem. It can't be the same for all!
My Class Dudes
Those guys in my class are just friends save for one or two whom I may be interested in (you know who you are - that fair handsome dude who is consistently absent and yes, even that Malay guy hanging around with an Indian girl who incidentally loves pinching and touching strangers like me when I don't even know her that well and I told her off once) but I have to wait and see how things turn out.
The other two dudes were from the previous intake and they have all but graduated.
The girls....are just friends.
The School Dudes - Some Really Hot
And yes, some of the young Chinese guys are really hot. I am recovering from my broken relationship and it is gonna take a lot of emotional courage to try to strike up something again. So it is gonna take me a while.
The Periphery - Not So Hot Dudes
I am not interested in the few Malaysian Chinese hairstylists traversing my school universe right now or that ethnic-mixed local hairstylist (our first conversation centred on his Geylang experience - it was like so appalling).
Not even that China Chinese wimp (who happens to be a ShenZhen native like one of my ex-tenant) turned one of us (who is mouthing all kinda things - really atrocious). In fact he was telling me all those stories about the KTV girls, his experiences with them and his Genting Casino membership. Of school agents entertaining students at KTVs to make them sign up for courses.
My Hot Ex-Roomie
I would have been very happily and monogamously coupled with my ex-roomie (I mean, I am physically, sexually and emotionally attracted to him - looks, personality and all and hopefully he feels the same about me) but as events turn out (attributable to maybe Ben, my psychotic lecturer and who-have-you) just took him away.
A Potential Roomie
A new potential roomie that came aknocking have me thinking twice. I have struck up a conversation with him before in school but today, in my current emotional state, I don't think I can stomach an ICY COLD dude (his English name is ICE).
I need warmth and I don't think I can melt this ice the way I am now. I am just too emotionally vulnerable myself.
My HouseMates
I am on talking terms with Rafi. I like him and his beau and I treat him as a friend. That is all. I am sure they are not into me. If they are, I will have to think twice since they are coupled.
If I have a beau in future, I hope they will respect that. If they wanna fool around with my beau (because he is their type), then I am gonna fool around with them too. It is only fair. They are my type.
But I am not remotely keen in Henry or the other Malaysian PR dude or Ben and Rick. No exchange here.
I am sure they understand that sexual intimacy is a very personal thing. I can't just do it with anybody. Maybe my ex-roomie can. I mean with Ben or Rick if he is doing anything with them on the sly. It shows how some people can just slut around with about anybody.
Ben can tell me into my face that I am vain because I do look at myself in the full length mirror in the elevator. And that is because I do not have any full-length mirror at "home". And this, my psychotic lecturer has also put across in class (and I know he was targetting me and so I can see a link here between him and Ben)
So if Ben isn't vain himself, then why put on a wig when he is actually bald? And he went for hair treatments. And I also know my psychotic lecturer has gone for facial laser treatments. He wanna moralise about plastic surgery. Take a good look at himself.
I mean Old Aunty says Ben lost them because he was under stress. Maybe he tried steroid injections before to beef himself up and lost them. Not because of stress. How do we know?
There Are Others
There are a couple of other hot young guys elsewhere and I will just have to psyche myself up emotionally to try to strike up something permanent? If they don't wanna, I guess we will just have to be friends, sex buddies or ONS?
Don't say I didn't try for a relationship (Look at Ben and Rick! They are a matured couple in their late thirties staying together but they are still having many ONS on the side) It takes two to tango after all.
Too bad those I am trying to court have turned me down. Like the Mongolian and the rest.
And I do need my sexual and physical intimacy.
With the right people of course.
The Finality Of It All
As far as I know myself, I am in school, first to get that certification to do the job I want to do in schools and for a higher salary. Second, to get a beau from within the school circle.
And it isn't likely to come from my class but from without it - the hot young Chinese dudes.
Not any gay circle. The gym. The chat channels. The gay ads. The cruising spots.
These are all ONS fun spots.
Confronting The Ghosts Of Yesterday On Top Of Problems Today? Do You Wanna Drive People Insane?
Can you imagine the idiocy of it all?
Here I am confronting all the here-and-now problems of today like a lost beau, possible loss of a roof over my head and of live and limb and on top of that, during my counselling classes, they wanna make me go back in time and confront more of my past unhappiness and troubles?
Do they wanna make me crumble and die in front of them?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Two Is Company
Yesterday, 2 European girls asked if they could sit right next to me at a coffee table.
I couldn't refuse them, could I?
They were young and beautiful. But as I don't dig girls sexually or physically, American, Asian, European and what have you, I wasn't the least bit interested. Cleavage-revealing dresses, short shorts, mini-skirts, whatever.
They do provide good communication pieces at times and we will just be friends at most.
Much less the blimps. Out of touch with reality. Loves to generalise. Usually not in the know with new knowledge or technology. Caught up in a static world of their own . Sometimes a very small world.
Just like Sim Mong Chai. A local entrepreneurial software developer. Outmoded technological tools. The software couldn't deliver what it promises. In fact it couldn't do a lot of things (try thinking AccPac of those by-gone days). Loads of bugs and defects. Better competitors were already out there and running on Windows.
And he thinks he wanna bull-doze the product through to the accounting fraternity.
I couldn't refuse them, could I?
They were young and beautiful. But as I don't dig girls sexually or physically, American, Asian, European and what have you, I wasn't the least bit interested. Cleavage-revealing dresses, short shorts, mini-skirts, whatever.
They do provide good communication pieces at times and we will just be friends at most.
Much less the blimps. Out of touch with reality. Loves to generalise. Usually not in the know with new knowledge or technology. Caught up in a static world of their own . Sometimes a very small world.
Just like Sim Mong Chai. A local entrepreneurial software developer. Outmoded technological tools. The software couldn't deliver what it promises. In fact it couldn't do a lot of things (try thinking AccPac of those by-gone days). Loads of bugs and defects. Better competitors were already out there and running on Windows.
And he thinks he wanna bull-doze the product through to the accounting fraternity.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Punkers Now Playing Gods
Overfed, OverPampered And OverBloated Civil Service
In today's climate of an economic recession and a global downturn, it makes one seethe with anger to see the kinda totally needless waste of employment of redundant resources in some of our public service sectors.
The SWAT team looks like one. We can't deny terrorism isn't around us, but we do seem like we are overplaying it here and the numbers we employ. They are almost always where they are not needed. Some are even foreigners.
In between patrols, I spotted a team of two stopping by a convenience store. Not a very good projection of a public image especially while on duty.
A bloated, overfed and sometimes I wonder, needless, defence team has seen that Arab Hindu (who works in the defence team) and his gang (who is of his ethnic group and which has been harassing me for whatever reasons and whom I have not a single interest in) who has time off to work as a personal trainer in the gym.
I remember my OC back then who visits KTVs and speaks of the mamasans there. Given the kinda "switch off" job in the office (paper shuffling and signing) and the grade-pay of his rank, he can even afford a landed property.
These are the overfed public servants who have nothing better to do than spend their wealth on the sex trade. Not a good model for the rest and what they have created in social value and wealth is another issue altogether. Usually nothing.
Our cops-in-blue were doubly quick to swing into action when summoned to nab motor vehicles-parking violators for the money. When a brawl took place at night near a sleazespot and when they do respond, it was all over and the brawlers had dispersed.
The launch of the new food mall near where the 5 KTVs I live around, saw wreaths of congratulatory bouquets. Among one is a well-known chartered accountant who is also an active religious leader and now dabbles in sleaze as well.
I got a second ticket for not stubbing out a ciggy butt in a bin. I can live with the court attendance and whatever it will mete out but as long as my employment prospects are not affected.
Fact is smokers have been chased around this school spot till we have no more smoking zones to puff away. Worst the disposal bins come without ash trays and they expect us to snub them out here and start a fire.
Just have proper disposal receptacles for the smokers and they do feed an army of cleaners (sometimes really redundant too) and that is their job.
They treat litterers just as they do homosexuals - criminals.
These are the patrollers who probably screwed and harassed people like me back in school and ended up where they are now. Now they wanna play GOD (occupying positions of authority or ownership in public and private sectors) and do "good" and harass people like us some more, according to their screwed values.
They sit around the office, come out to hotspots well-known for smoking and the money collected becomes their salaries. Famous for taking money out of the people and they created nothing new - either in terms of industries, wealth or otherwise.
Fuck you!
ScapeGoating The China Chinese
They have done everything the earlier immigrant workers or residents did before them.
There is no need to pick on them and scapegoat them as gold diggers, residency seekers or whatever else.
Some are, just like those before them, while the rest aren't.
For my part, those who are my friends, I am no sugar-daddy affording them luxuries like big houses, cars, allowances and presents or what-have-you.
Just simple outings, meals and sometimes their transportational needs as they are working class people.
Probability Versus Fundamentals Gambling
Gambling at the Singapore pools is about probability maths. Usually one in a million or more.
Other investments (deem to be gambling by the masses and we have the media to propagate this) are usually about fundamentals versus sentiments, not probability.
Get this right!
More No-Experiencers
I can gauge from the class, how experienced my fellow study-mates are.
From the kinda talk going on, I know they have no knowledge about property progress payments, nor of any deeper inter-personal relationships.
So I know they can't understand or empathise very much.
The same goes for anyone, in any age group, young or old. If they have no experience or knowledge in that field, they know nothing. Like Chris.
How My Study Group Is Progressing
At first I objected to putting up the skit because as the discussion progresses, it became more complicated.
But then when I rethought about it, it wasn't too bad, provided the Director could hammer out the logistical issues which I leave to her. And SHE is so full of ideas and suggestions and in this case, for good not bad as we were trying to reach out to the audience about negative peer pressure.
It kinda help build our team too. So drama skit it is.
Which reminds me of my previous workplaces with some WOMEN and GAYS. And they were always suggesting ideas (not always good) and turning the whole work place into a madhouse.
Love Matters (Or Does It)
We have a local movie made on this topic. And in a write-up, someone added another extra liner of "or does it?"
To me it matters.
I can't be doing it out of economics if I am not physically nor sexually attracted in the first place (like ethnicity, nationality, and yes I only dig Asian Chinese with few exceptions, gender, age and so on) and then the whole issue of character, compatability, personality, culture, sexuality, values and other traits follow.
Like genuine caring, empathy, compassion and love.
Wouldn't anyone?
I know some would do it out of some advantage - money, prospects of a career, a job or something.
Maybe the writer cannot fathom this.
And I have many close encounters with potential beaus but because of the denial, the games we have to play and so on, they all fizzled out? And of course I can't live with the slutting gays I ran into. It was the wrong circle to hunt for one after all.
All I am asking is that though we all wear a public mask and lie to all out there in the outside world, even to our family members and friends, but at least in a relationship, let us be true to ourselves. Otherwise how can it ever work?
Does that explain some of the celebrity split-ups we have been seeing lately? In fact do celebrity marriages last very long? Did they carry their acting or politicking or business roles too much into their own inter-personal relationships? The sizzle fizzles.
And I am only attracted to 1 other in my class now and 2 of them from the previous intake. The rest I am not even attracted.
For me, it is no appropriate beau, more fooling around.
To The Profoundly Deaf Once More
As I said, if some evil forces out there are trying to bankrupt me into not being able to be employed and to have to turn to anyone in return to be fed, housed or clothed (or maybe out on the streets) I rather choose DEATH.
Get this VERY RIGHT!
In fact I don't wanna moralise for others. As long as I am left to do my own things my own way. I moralise for my ownself.
Ethical Sales?
A bit more about that monster SIM MONG CHAI.
He employed programmers to write accounting software. This ex-colleague I recently ran into was one of them. Today when I asked him, he admitted they couldn't solve many bug issues which crop up consistently.
Back then, the tools were really not up there yet. So you can expect many bugs and at that time, there were already Windows versions out there while he was still on DOS.
Imagine a salesperson like me had to cover up all the flaws and clients are not stupid fools or blind.
There you have it!
Trying to sell flawed products - ethics or no ethics?
In today's climate of an economic recession and a global downturn, it makes one seethe with anger to see the kinda totally needless waste of employment of redundant resources in some of our public service sectors.
The SWAT team looks like one. We can't deny terrorism isn't around us, but we do seem like we are overplaying it here and the numbers we employ. They are almost always where they are not needed. Some are even foreigners.
In between patrols, I spotted a team of two stopping by a convenience store. Not a very good projection of a public image especially while on duty.
A bloated, overfed and sometimes I wonder, needless, defence team has seen that Arab Hindu (who works in the defence team) and his gang (who is of his ethnic group and which has been harassing me for whatever reasons and whom I have not a single interest in) who has time off to work as a personal trainer in the gym.
I remember my OC back then who visits KTVs and speaks of the mamasans there. Given the kinda "switch off" job in the office (paper shuffling and signing) and the grade-pay of his rank, he can even afford a landed property.
These are the overfed public servants who have nothing better to do than spend their wealth on the sex trade. Not a good model for the rest and what they have created in social value and wealth is another issue altogether. Usually nothing.
Our cops-in-blue were doubly quick to swing into action when summoned to nab motor vehicles-parking violators for the money. When a brawl took place at night near a sleazespot and when they do respond, it was all over and the brawlers had dispersed.
The launch of the new food mall near where the 5 KTVs I live around, saw wreaths of congratulatory bouquets. Among one is a well-known chartered accountant who is also an active religious leader and now dabbles in sleaze as well.
I got a second ticket for not stubbing out a ciggy butt in a bin. I can live with the court attendance and whatever it will mete out but as long as my employment prospects are not affected.
Fact is smokers have been chased around this school spot till we have no more smoking zones to puff away. Worst the disposal bins come without ash trays and they expect us to snub them out here and start a fire.
Just have proper disposal receptacles for the smokers and they do feed an army of cleaners (sometimes really redundant too) and that is their job.
They treat litterers just as they do homosexuals - criminals.
These are the patrollers who probably screwed and harassed people like me back in school and ended up where they are now. Now they wanna play GOD (occupying positions of authority or ownership in public and private sectors) and do "good" and harass people like us some more, according to their screwed values.
They sit around the office, come out to hotspots well-known for smoking and the money collected becomes their salaries. Famous for taking money out of the people and they created nothing new - either in terms of industries, wealth or otherwise.
Fuck you!
ScapeGoating The China Chinese
They have done everything the earlier immigrant workers or residents did before them.
There is no need to pick on them and scapegoat them as gold diggers, residency seekers or whatever else.
Some are, just like those before them, while the rest aren't.
For my part, those who are my friends, I am no sugar-daddy affording them luxuries like big houses, cars, allowances and presents or what-have-you.
Just simple outings, meals and sometimes their transportational needs as they are working class people.
Probability Versus Fundamentals Gambling
Gambling at the Singapore pools is about probability maths. Usually one in a million or more.
Other investments (deem to be gambling by the masses and we have the media to propagate this) are usually about fundamentals versus sentiments, not probability.
Get this right!
More No-Experiencers
I can gauge from the class, how experienced my fellow study-mates are.
From the kinda talk going on, I know they have no knowledge about property progress payments, nor of any deeper inter-personal relationships.
So I know they can't understand or empathise very much.
The same goes for anyone, in any age group, young or old. If they have no experience or knowledge in that field, they know nothing. Like Chris.
How My Study Group Is Progressing
At first I objected to putting up the skit because as the discussion progresses, it became more complicated.
But then when I rethought about it, it wasn't too bad, provided the Director could hammer out the logistical issues which I leave to her. And SHE is so full of ideas and suggestions and in this case, for good not bad as we were trying to reach out to the audience about negative peer pressure.
It kinda help build our team too. So drama skit it is.
Which reminds me of my previous workplaces with some WOMEN and GAYS. And they were always suggesting ideas (not always good) and turning the whole work place into a madhouse.
Love Matters (Or Does It)
We have a local movie made on this topic. And in a write-up, someone added another extra liner of "or does it?"
To me it matters.
I can't be doing it out of economics if I am not physically nor sexually attracted in the first place (like ethnicity, nationality, and yes I only dig Asian Chinese with few exceptions, gender, age and so on) and then the whole issue of character, compatability, personality, culture, sexuality, values and other traits follow.
Like genuine caring, empathy, compassion and love.
Wouldn't anyone?
I know some would do it out of some advantage - money, prospects of a career, a job or something.
Maybe the writer cannot fathom this.
And I have many close encounters with potential beaus but because of the denial, the games we have to play and so on, they all fizzled out? And of course I can't live with the slutting gays I ran into. It was the wrong circle to hunt for one after all.
All I am asking is that though we all wear a public mask and lie to all out there in the outside world, even to our family members and friends, but at least in a relationship, let us be true to ourselves. Otherwise how can it ever work?
Does that explain some of the celebrity split-ups we have been seeing lately? In fact do celebrity marriages last very long? Did they carry their acting or politicking or business roles too much into their own inter-personal relationships? The sizzle fizzles.
And I am only attracted to 1 other in my class now and 2 of them from the previous intake. The rest I am not even attracted.
For me, it is no appropriate beau, more fooling around.
To The Profoundly Deaf Once More
As I said, if some evil forces out there are trying to bankrupt me into not being able to be employed and to have to turn to anyone in return to be fed, housed or clothed (or maybe out on the streets) I rather choose DEATH.
Get this VERY RIGHT!
In fact I don't wanna moralise for others. As long as I am left to do my own things my own way. I moralise for my ownself.
Ethical Sales?
A bit more about that monster SIM MONG CHAI.
He employed programmers to write accounting software. This ex-colleague I recently ran into was one of them. Today when I asked him, he admitted they couldn't solve many bug issues which crop up consistently.
Back then, the tools were really not up there yet. So you can expect many bugs and at that time, there were already Windows versions out there while he was still on DOS.
Imagine a salesperson like me had to cover up all the flaws and clients are not stupid fools or blind.
There you have it!
Trying to sell flawed products - ethics or no ethics?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
What Are Couplings For Then? (Updated)
Hedonism - That Is All It Is
An important point came up in our group discussion yesterday.
This was about how many couples or people attribute their "hedonism" to the "stresses and complexities" of life.
It is true the system had created many complexities for us.
At the same time, some of the complexities we created them ourselves. The web of lies, intricacies and deceit that we weave around us. We have only ourselves to blame.
For couples, the very fact that they are coupled, means that they wanna have each other to face the stresses of life. Soulmates, confiding, showing support and empathy. Most of all, they can indulge in physical and sexual intimacy. That would have been more than therapeutic.
Unless of course they were liars, fakers, serial actors and dramatists in this relationship in the first place, so that there wasn't one to begin with.
Or their family or friends or community as another support system.
Think of the poor lonely heart soul like myself who has nobody to turn to. No beau, no real family support, no real good friends or community. What can I do?
Luckily I still have some form of physical exercise to release these stresses.
So please stand up for yourself as to the stand that these stresses lead you astray to the path of hedonism?
More Sizzle And Fizzle, Gays
Gays, if a relationship fizzles, then look for another that sizzles. When that fizzles, another. What about if all else don't sizzle, then eat yourself a sizzling steak!
Better still, drink up sizzling Sprite!
Heads Thicker Than A Bullet-Proof Vest
All love movies/drama serials show the courtship fun, the sizzle and end with a marriage or at least a marriage proposal.
And it is supposed to be happily after.
What happens after that?
It is the very mundane everyday tasks of living. Working, the home like cooking, laundry, meals and spending time together (which shows love, sacrifice and caring) . Most importantly, showing empathy and support, communicating openly and confiding in each other and being truthful.
So unless the gays can get it into their thick heads what a relationship is all about (which I think they don't), please don't write SHIT-TRASH articles like this.
Fakers And No-Experiencers Writing Books?
I know my lecturer Chris is writing some books due for publication soon. That is what is stated in his blurb.
Knowing what a faker he is and the kinda experience (or lack of) he has, he is probably picking up from the students in his classes or from my blogs. I am sure his IMH experience was culled more from the nurse at IMH studying in my class.
My ex-roomie has told me he has written a book (in Chinese) and so did his Indian classmate (in Tamil I presume).
Is there a connection here?
Are they translating for each other and trying to push them into the huge Chinese and Indian markets?
I wish them luck as fakers normally wouldn't succeed.
Isn't It The Same? What You Did Then And What They Are Doing Now?
Let us be really fair and objective here.
The Malaysian Chinese came here first to work. Look at them now. Most would have gotten their permanent residency, even naturalised eventually.
Some got educated here at various stages of their lives and got residency too.
I know some of the mamasans managing the Chinese KTV girls are Malaysian Chinese.
They also control some of our produce-importing markets.
So if the China Chinese now do the same , aren't they just following their path? Is there something wrong here?
But of course, I am in favour of the good and better China guys obtaining our PR or citizenship. I am not and have never been too keen on the girls. Well of course being gay helps. And they create new industries for us - not take away from us.
I am not too sure about the rest?
An important point came up in our group discussion yesterday.
This was about how many couples or people attribute their "hedonism" to the "stresses and complexities" of life.
It is true the system had created many complexities for us.
At the same time, some of the complexities we created them ourselves. The web of lies, intricacies and deceit that we weave around us. We have only ourselves to blame.
For couples, the very fact that they are coupled, means that they wanna have each other to face the stresses of life. Soulmates, confiding, showing support and empathy. Most of all, they can indulge in physical and sexual intimacy. That would have been more than therapeutic.
Unless of course they were liars, fakers, serial actors and dramatists in this relationship in the first place, so that there wasn't one to begin with.
Or their family or friends or community as another support system.
Think of the poor lonely heart soul like myself who has nobody to turn to. No beau, no real family support, no real good friends or community. What can I do?
Luckily I still have some form of physical exercise to release these stresses.
So please stand up for yourself as to the stand that these stresses lead you astray to the path of hedonism?
More Sizzle And Fizzle, Gays
Gays, if a relationship fizzles, then look for another that sizzles. When that fizzles, another. What about if all else don't sizzle, then eat yourself a sizzling steak!
Better still, drink up sizzling Sprite!
Heads Thicker Than A Bullet-Proof Vest
All love movies/drama serials show the courtship fun, the sizzle and end with a marriage or at least a marriage proposal.
And it is supposed to be happily after.
What happens after that?
It is the very mundane everyday tasks of living. Working, the home like cooking, laundry, meals and spending time together (which shows love, sacrifice and caring) . Most importantly, showing empathy and support, communicating openly and confiding in each other and being truthful.
So unless the gays can get it into their thick heads what a relationship is all about (which I think they don't), please don't write SHIT-TRASH articles like this.
Fakers And No-Experiencers Writing Books?
I know my lecturer Chris is writing some books due for publication soon. That is what is stated in his blurb.
Knowing what a faker he is and the kinda experience (or lack of) he has, he is probably picking up from the students in his classes or from my blogs. I am sure his IMH experience was culled more from the nurse at IMH studying in my class.
My ex-roomie has told me he has written a book (in Chinese) and so did his Indian classmate (in Tamil I presume).
Is there a connection here?
Are they translating for each other and trying to push them into the huge Chinese and Indian markets?
I wish them luck as fakers normally wouldn't succeed.
Isn't It The Same? What You Did Then And What They Are Doing Now?
Let us be really fair and objective here.
The Malaysian Chinese came here first to work. Look at them now. Most would have gotten their permanent residency, even naturalised eventually.
Some got educated here at various stages of their lives and got residency too.
I know some of the mamasans managing the Chinese KTV girls are Malaysian Chinese.
They also control some of our produce-importing markets.
So if the China Chinese now do the same , aren't they just following their path? Is there something wrong here?
But of course, I am in favour of the good and better China guys obtaining our PR or citizenship. I am not and have never been too keen on the girls. Well of course being gay helps. And they create new industries for us - not take away from us.
I am not too sure about the rest?
Sunday, February 08, 2009
What More Can I Say? You Drive Me Insane? (Updated)
My favorite playback song is now Josh Groban's "You Are Loved (Don't Give Up). The lyrics resonate with my current state of affairs and feelings.
More On My Coursemates - A Little Prayer
I realise that besides the single mothers, there are also the youths here from dysfunctional families. The orphans, the divorced parents, parents with psychotic problems and the youths-at-risk themselves. Of course, gays and lesbians.
Those who dropped out of school. Those who have issues with authority (I think if authority was correct, there isn't a problem of us following) and those with other problems. Like one who inherits his mom's psychoses. Another who is a bully and gangsta in his school days and another who has brushes with the law.
Lord! Can you please gimme a beau who is surer of himself and friends who are MORE NORMAL?
THIS IS A MADHOUSE!
*Smiles*
And oh, I met a coursemate who attended a school which feeds He-Apes's tutorial school. And I know He-Ape has foreign students in his school too which he got fed from the private schools. So is he the one bad-mouthing me to schools because of his connections there?
Is he even connected to this private school of mine? My lecturer seems like he is doing the private school circuit and being who he is, he probably knows He-Ape. One of the same mould. They themselves have dirty intentions and they think the same of the rest.
And I know Black Widow's son-in-law is in the property line and so is her daughter. Are they working for my agent's firm for this current investment property?
Questions, questions, questions.
Resisting Negative Peer Pressure And The Herd Instinct
One of the few topics we discussed in our class group was peer pressure.
I suggested why I was a loner most of the time (and that means independence and to a certain extent isolation and secludedness) was because I had to resist all these temptations which were negative peer pressure.
I could have gotten carried away and went along with some of these people (clubbing consistently, drinking, gangstaism, etc). But I didn't. I was aloof and I kept my distance.
There are just too many of them and you can't fight them all. So many people, so many different thinking and behavior and NOT ALL GOOD AND CONSISTENT WITH YOUR VALUE SYSTEM.
I couldn't find that one soulmate who had the same values, thinking and aspirations as me or if I found one, but because of my sexuality, we couldn't go much further. Firstly there was that mainstream to contend with and secondly this was taboo and thirdly forbidden and of course even if they were, there was DENIAL.
I hope everyone gets the picture now.
Why I Hate Some Of The Gays, Blimps And Bimbs
The gays can be bitchy, and they lie and that promiscuity and stealth which I hate so much. That untruthfulness in so many respects in speech and behavior.
And remember the kind of articles they put out regarding gay relationships. Relationships are shows. Sizzle is more sex fun, probably more preoccupation with a variety of sex tools and people (this negates monogamity), vital statistics (tool size?) and more moviedom's sizzle.
When sizzle fizzles, relationships end. That means gays cannot work at a relationship and hold down one. Where is the commitment?
The old aunties and uncles are caught up in a world of their never-changing static one of folklore, myths and old (and often wrong) thinking. Assumptions, stereotyping and wrong conclusions. And they have baggages and cynicism to boot. Old and otherwise.
And they are gonna give advice that are so wrong. Like Chris! Generations removed!
The bimbs are now like so Americanised in their speech and dressing. Every ethnic race is now so much influenced, culture is left with almost nothing.
The youths of both sexes are dressed scantily in Western attire and the hair dyes, the fashion accessories like ear rings, nose rings and bangles plus their artsy tattoos (not so much gangsterism any more).
Beating To A Different DrumBeat! Thaipusam Festivities Today Versus The Modern Music Of Yesterday
Look at today's Thaipusam celebrations.
I don't see very many of the local Indians participating. The procession consisted mostly of the foreign workers. With a few white tourists trailing along.
What a drastic change from yesterday's drumbeat of a younger, upbeat crowd of loud modern music makers.
Why I Can Identify More With The China Chinese.
If my mom were alive today, I am sure she would never identify with the China Chinese women who come here when they are much older. The study mamas for one.
I am only one generation away from the China Chinese. And I am sure I can identify more or less with the next generation, not the older one.
The Malaysian Chinese are more or less Malayanised. Yes I am Baba from my father's side but seriously I really can't identify with the Malays very much (save for Muis, my that young friend), much less the Indians.
Unfortunately, I think my mom's genes (or whatever) dominates, so my umbilical cord is tied more with the China Chinese.
The next generation of younger ones - the better behaved and disciplined ones.
And like my ex-roomie whose younger "beau" (I hope I am wrong) is from his same hometown, wouldn't it be beautiful if he was from my mom's Guangdong province, Shantou Prefecture , Chaoyang district (I hope my Mom got this right as my research shows it could also be Jieyang City) and speak Teochew too?
Wouldn't we connect like hell and speak the same language?
You Need More Proof? Remembering My JC And Secondary School Experiences
I have blogged about the class when I was schooling at Secondary 1 and 2 level. That sole Malay classmate was quiet and well-behaved and my best friend.
But the Indians like Ramalingam and Elcana were riotous and playful. Don't forget the Eurasians. I was constantly the object of bully and ridicule and jealousy as I top the class.
In fact I got carried away too by their behavior. You will remember how I cheered and jeered at a sports event and was promptly "pinned down" by the discipline master.
Then I had to contend with the Chinese beng gangsters during my Chinese language classes.
Of course the neighborhood junior college was infested with noisemakers and thuggish bengs.
Maybe classes should be sorted according to temperament - those who wanna study, those who are hyper and those who do not wanna study and are the troublemakers, etc.
That way, each type has a teacher/co-teacher and counsellors/student leaders to cope with them on a theme-defined basis.
Most China Chinese Students Are Studious Types Who View Academics As Important
That explains how some of the China Chinese like my ex-roomie's hometown "beau" (assumption here) and that dude at Andy's dropped out of school because of the kind of bullying and influence they were under.
The China Chinese are usually studious people who excel academically. The Malaysian Chinese to a certain extent.
So there you have it!
Envy and jealousy!
The Profoundly Deaf - Hear This!
I don't wanna settle down too late.
I just spotted a local ex-celebrity swimming and singing super star and his skin has aged so much. We are not many years apart I think.
And we all know that for gays, physical and sexual attraction plays a part.
Doesn't that happen for the heteros or bis as well and isn't it attributable to the media in part?
More On My Coursemates - A Little Prayer
I realise that besides the single mothers, there are also the youths here from dysfunctional families. The orphans, the divorced parents, parents with psychotic problems and the youths-at-risk themselves. Of course, gays and lesbians.
Those who dropped out of school. Those who have issues with authority (I think if authority was correct, there isn't a problem of us following) and those with other problems. Like one who inherits his mom's psychoses. Another who is a bully and gangsta in his school days and another who has brushes with the law.
Lord! Can you please gimme a beau who is surer of himself and friends who are MORE NORMAL?
THIS IS A MADHOUSE!
*Smiles*
And oh, I met a coursemate who attended a school which feeds He-Apes's tutorial school. And I know He-Ape has foreign students in his school too which he got fed from the private schools. So is he the one bad-mouthing me to schools because of his connections there?
Is he even connected to this private school of mine? My lecturer seems like he is doing the private school circuit and being who he is, he probably knows He-Ape. One of the same mould. They themselves have dirty intentions and they think the same of the rest.
And I know Black Widow's son-in-law is in the property line and so is her daughter. Are they working for my agent's firm for this current investment property?
Questions, questions, questions.
Resisting Negative Peer Pressure And The Herd Instinct
One of the few topics we discussed in our class group was peer pressure.
I suggested why I was a loner most of the time (and that means independence and to a certain extent isolation and secludedness) was because I had to resist all these temptations which were negative peer pressure.
I could have gotten carried away and went along with some of these people (clubbing consistently, drinking, gangstaism, etc). But I didn't. I was aloof and I kept my distance.
There are just too many of them and you can't fight them all. So many people, so many different thinking and behavior and NOT ALL GOOD AND CONSISTENT WITH YOUR VALUE SYSTEM.
I couldn't find that one soulmate who had the same values, thinking and aspirations as me or if I found one, but because of my sexuality, we couldn't go much further. Firstly there was that mainstream to contend with and secondly this was taboo and thirdly forbidden and of course even if they were, there was DENIAL.
I hope everyone gets the picture now.
Why I Hate Some Of The Gays, Blimps And Bimbs
The gays can be bitchy, and they lie and that promiscuity and stealth which I hate so much. That untruthfulness in so many respects in speech and behavior.
And remember the kind of articles they put out regarding gay relationships. Relationships are shows. Sizzle is more sex fun, probably more preoccupation with a variety of sex tools and people (this negates monogamity), vital statistics (tool size?) and more moviedom's sizzle.
When sizzle fizzles, relationships end. That means gays cannot work at a relationship and hold down one. Where is the commitment?
The old aunties and uncles are caught up in a world of their never-changing static one of folklore, myths and old (and often wrong) thinking. Assumptions, stereotyping and wrong conclusions. And they have baggages and cynicism to boot. Old and otherwise.
And they are gonna give advice that are so wrong. Like Chris! Generations removed!
The bimbs are now like so Americanised in their speech and dressing. Every ethnic race is now so much influenced, culture is left with almost nothing.
The youths of both sexes are dressed scantily in Western attire and the hair dyes, the fashion accessories like ear rings, nose rings and bangles plus their artsy tattoos (not so much gangsterism any more).
Beating To A Different DrumBeat! Thaipusam Festivities Today Versus The Modern Music Of Yesterday
Look at today's Thaipusam celebrations.
I don't see very many of the local Indians participating. The procession consisted mostly of the foreign workers. With a few white tourists trailing along.
What a drastic change from yesterday's drumbeat of a younger, upbeat crowd of loud modern music makers.
Why I Can Identify More With The China Chinese.
If my mom were alive today, I am sure she would never identify with the China Chinese women who come here when they are much older. The study mamas for one.
I am only one generation away from the China Chinese. And I am sure I can identify more or less with the next generation, not the older one.
The Malaysian Chinese are more or less Malayanised. Yes I am Baba from my father's side but seriously I really can't identify with the Malays very much (save for Muis, my that young friend), much less the Indians.
Unfortunately, I think my mom's genes (or whatever) dominates, so my umbilical cord is tied more with the China Chinese.
The next generation of younger ones - the better behaved and disciplined ones.
And like my ex-roomie whose younger "beau" (I hope I am wrong) is from his same hometown, wouldn't it be beautiful if he was from my mom's Guangdong province, Shantou Prefecture , Chaoyang district (I hope my Mom got this right as my research shows it could also be Jieyang City) and speak Teochew too?
Wouldn't we connect like hell and speak the same language?
You Need More Proof? Remembering My JC And Secondary School Experiences
I have blogged about the class when I was schooling at Secondary 1 and 2 level. That sole Malay classmate was quiet and well-behaved and my best friend.
But the Indians like Ramalingam and Elcana were riotous and playful. Don't forget the Eurasians. I was constantly the object of bully and ridicule and jealousy as I top the class.
In fact I got carried away too by their behavior. You will remember how I cheered and jeered at a sports event and was promptly "pinned down" by the discipline master.
Then I had to contend with the Chinese beng gangsters during my Chinese language classes.
Of course the neighborhood junior college was infested with noisemakers and thuggish bengs.
Maybe classes should be sorted according to temperament - those who wanna study, those who are hyper and those who do not wanna study and are the troublemakers, etc.
That way, each type has a teacher/co-teacher and counsellors/student leaders to cope with them on a theme-defined basis.
Most China Chinese Students Are Studious Types Who View Academics As Important
That explains how some of the China Chinese like my ex-roomie's hometown "beau" (assumption here) and that dude at Andy's dropped out of school because of the kind of bullying and influence they were under.
The China Chinese are usually studious people who excel academically. The Malaysian Chinese to a certain extent.
So there you have it!
Envy and jealousy!
The Profoundly Deaf - Hear This!
I don't wanna settle down too late.
I just spotted a local ex-celebrity swimming and singing super star and his skin has aged so much. We are not many years apart I think.
And we all know that for gays, physical and sexual attraction plays a part.
Doesn't that happen for the heteros or bis as well and isn't it attributable to the media in part?
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Jigsaw Pieces Falling Together In Place (Updated)
Hot Young Dudes On A DrumBeat
There were really a couple of hot cute guys and I was trailing them a while before they disappeared up the bus. They were doing the drum thingy, you know, those loud music they make around town, beating on drums and other percussion instruments.
Two or three of them were hot and cute and young!
Screwing Up Minds
It will be lecturers like Chris and people like Ben who would screw young minds up.
According to Ben, if you are in a old age group, you tend to be more settled. How does he explain those old folks with one foot in the grave visiting the KTVS then?
I think anyone at any age can choose to want to settle down! It is because they want stability in their love life, an emotional and moral anchor and then they can concentrate on other priorities.
People marry in their twenties. That tells all. So do not pigeonhole.
In short age is no barrier.
How Is Class Getting On These Days
I am beginning to enjoy class a lot more these days.
It wasn't like this with my previous psychotic lecturer Chris for the ethics module.
Firstly it was partly because of his rather dissonant style while with Karen, it was more calming, soothing and therapeutic, at least during most part of her lessons. (save for the the times when it was disruptive like the shifting of the locale, the re-arranging of the seats, the handouts that came late, the setting up of the equipment and so on)
Of course Karen could be a little harried and flustered and worked up and frayed. Maybe that is part and parcel of being a woman.
Then of course Chris goes off a tangent, he didn't know what he was saying at times, he went into very personal stuff and perpetrated many untruths and myths especially about the gay community and the psycho stuff. Passiveness and aggressiveness. And he was reading just too much about everything.
Certainly I agreed with a lot of the other things he said about the zombification of the populace, the lack of ethics in most things we do and so on.
I am also enjoying class more because the rotation has just fallen squarely on me to become the leader of the group. And we were breaking out in groups where we could really share experiences because of the theme-defined groups we are in.
Being a leader means I could direct the group more, hear about their experiences and get things off my chest.
As a student, I am passive because the leaders will be my lecturer and those appointed to be the counsellors. In Chris' case, he was up there (on his high and mighty throne) spewing lightning quick and in succession a string of myths and I couldn't possibly rebutt all and there were just too many of them.
But nominated as a leader now, I have to be pro-active and take charge. Just like when I was an entrepreneur. This is natural.
And I think I can trust my group more than I can trust confiding in a gay group.
Some Coursemates And The Lecturers
I just realised the class is probably made up of people who are single mothers (divorced or otherwise), orphans, gays, lesbians and other misfits with varying degree of problems like myself.
OMG! Get me out of here!
Even the lecturers are as they relate their days of yore as I realised.
I should really be counselling or parolling the goody-two-shoes and that is for preventive action.
As I sit and listen to some of their hooligan days in school like bullying, hiding bags and gangstaism, I was astounded by it all. Such frivolity, silliness and free time to do such things. I would never have thought of doing them myself!
I am probably gonna pick up some of their bad habits and learn from them.
But as far as I am concerned, they are just my friends, good friends. Nothing more.
I am still on the prowl for a China dude like my ex-roomie or a local studentsy dude for a beau.
I Can Gauge Where Chris Is Coming From
From his email reply, he had said that all that he has spoken are truths and what he did in class mirrored me.
So I knew he was targetting me.
He comes from the gay community. I hate most of the gay community and some of them hate me. I must have inadvertently offended some when I rejected some of them or for envy reasons and because of the flat I own and so on.
So they must have badmouthed me, the community has a certain impression of me and he is now speaking on their behalf. I can guess that they could come from anywhere. When I worked for He-Ape (Tony Ng) of Mavis Tutorial, there were two gays there. I kept a distance because I know they will cause a lot of trouble for me.
If I was deemed slutting around then, it was because I wasn't attached. And that was the gay culture for some. After a while, I stopped asking if anyone would like to be my beau because I would assume this is the culture. And it is for some.
If there were someone then who would put his foot down and told me all that I am espousing now in my blog, I would have turned around. So it took me quite a while to consolidate my thoughts and it is only now that I can put my values in better stance.
But think about those in relationships but who are still fooling around. That is far worse. I will be happy with just one person I love. Like my ex-roomie.
This is the reason why I WILL NEVER ACCEPT SOME OF THEM. And I guess they, me.
Just look at the articles they put out and the kinda values they promote. And the title reads : "The Show Is Over, Say Goodbye". They were trivialising a relationship as a show and equating sizzle with more sex fun and movie-quality courtship and drama. Please don't do this.
In other words, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF. Like Ben. Gays fool around. He can speak for himself. There must be some who still believe in not fooling around.
Those Foreign Working And Student Ex-Tenants
I think I am not the least bit interested in any of them who is attached or in denial or who is lying. WHATEVER they say they are, I take it at face value and I don't ask any questions and leave it as that.
I don't do any of the things they do. I am always alone. I don't need a shield, a cover, whatever.
And I am not lifting a finger to clean up after them. Girls, guys, whatever.
If they bring home their beaus, their playmates and sexmates who use the facilities and dirty them, they can jolly well clean up after themselves.
After all, you can play and sex with him, but you can't look after your partner. Help him do laundry, cook for him or look after his health.
I am only interested in lonely heart souls who are alone and unattached and I was looking for a beau in that sense so I can take care of him and him, me.
*Period*
But it turns out, it was a roller-coaster game, hide-and-seek, guess the riddles kinda topsy turvy mess with girls and guys thrown in for good measure these foreign tenants created in my previous home.
When I threw them out and sometimes they left on their accord, I must have been villified as a monster.
The media must have lots to do with it. "The Wedding Game" (and guess what - it is a heterosexual thingy again) and other love serials that make love like a scripted drama loaded with fun, courtship, friends egging them on, triangles, etc.
This Gay HouseHold
Rafi may have been coerced because he was fending off predation on his beau. Or he could have offered himself for some advantage. Rent free perhaps?
But seriously I wish Ben and Rick could role model and stop doing what they are doing. And they do smash the notion that morbid and decent-looking (even old) dressing fashion sense cannot mask their sexually promiscuous lifestyle. Just a BIG cover.
So if my ex-roomie did the same for some advantage like Rafi, then he is probably not worth the while.
And I don't particularly like the other Malaysian PR tenant too.
My Hope For The Future - A Reconciliation
I am still holding open the door for a reconciliation between me and my ex-roomie. At the same time I want closure. I don't want to cling on as this eats into me too much.
I wanna move on if I have to.
I accept him for all that he is. He is just right for me. Personality and charm that overwhelmed me.
He was just too close to me in the room (and also because I like him a lot, not like that other dude at Andy's) and I do need physical (kissing and hugging) and sexual (sexual intercourse) intimacy.
There were really a couple of hot cute guys and I was trailing them a while before they disappeared up the bus. They were doing the drum thingy, you know, those loud music they make around town, beating on drums and other percussion instruments.
Two or three of them were hot and cute and young!
Screwing Up Minds
It will be lecturers like Chris and people like Ben who would screw young minds up.
According to Ben, if you are in a old age group, you tend to be more settled. How does he explain those old folks with one foot in the grave visiting the KTVS then?
I think anyone at any age can choose to want to settle down! It is because they want stability in their love life, an emotional and moral anchor and then they can concentrate on other priorities.
People marry in their twenties. That tells all. So do not pigeonhole.
In short age is no barrier.
How Is Class Getting On These Days
I am beginning to enjoy class a lot more these days.
It wasn't like this with my previous psychotic lecturer Chris for the ethics module.
Firstly it was partly because of his rather dissonant style while with Karen, it was more calming, soothing and therapeutic, at least during most part of her lessons. (save for the the times when it was disruptive like the shifting of the locale, the re-arranging of the seats, the handouts that came late, the setting up of the equipment and so on)
Of course Karen could be a little harried and flustered and worked up and frayed. Maybe that is part and parcel of being a woman.
Then of course Chris goes off a tangent, he didn't know what he was saying at times, he went into very personal stuff and perpetrated many untruths and myths especially about the gay community and the psycho stuff. Passiveness and aggressiveness. And he was reading just too much about everything.
Certainly I agreed with a lot of the other things he said about the zombification of the populace, the lack of ethics in most things we do and so on.
I am also enjoying class more because the rotation has just fallen squarely on me to become the leader of the group. And we were breaking out in groups where we could really share experiences because of the theme-defined groups we are in.
Being a leader means I could direct the group more, hear about their experiences and get things off my chest.
As a student, I am passive because the leaders will be my lecturer and those appointed to be the counsellors. In Chris' case, he was up there (on his high and mighty throne) spewing lightning quick and in succession a string of myths and I couldn't possibly rebutt all and there were just too many of them.
But nominated as a leader now, I have to be pro-active and take charge. Just like when I was an entrepreneur. This is natural.
And I think I can trust my group more than I can trust confiding in a gay group.
Some Coursemates And The Lecturers
I just realised the class is probably made up of people who are single mothers (divorced or otherwise), orphans, gays, lesbians and other misfits with varying degree of problems like myself.
OMG! Get me out of here!
Even the lecturers are as they relate their days of yore as I realised.
I should really be counselling or parolling the goody-two-shoes and that is for preventive action.
As I sit and listen to some of their hooligan days in school like bullying, hiding bags and gangstaism, I was astounded by it all. Such frivolity, silliness and free time to do such things. I would never have thought of doing them myself!
I am probably gonna pick up some of their bad habits and learn from them.
But as far as I am concerned, they are just my friends, good friends. Nothing more.
I am still on the prowl for a China dude like my ex-roomie or a local studentsy dude for a beau.
I Can Gauge Where Chris Is Coming From
From his email reply, he had said that all that he has spoken are truths and what he did in class mirrored me.
So I knew he was targetting me.
He comes from the gay community. I hate most of the gay community and some of them hate me. I must have inadvertently offended some when I rejected some of them or for envy reasons and because of the flat I own and so on.
So they must have badmouthed me, the community has a certain impression of me and he is now speaking on their behalf. I can guess that they could come from anywhere. When I worked for He-Ape (Tony Ng) of Mavis Tutorial, there were two gays there. I kept a distance because I know they will cause a lot of trouble for me.
If I was deemed slutting around then, it was because I wasn't attached. And that was the gay culture for some. After a while, I stopped asking if anyone would like to be my beau because I would assume this is the culture. And it is for some.
If there were someone then who would put his foot down and told me all that I am espousing now in my blog, I would have turned around. So it took me quite a while to consolidate my thoughts and it is only now that I can put my values in better stance.
But think about those in relationships but who are still fooling around. That is far worse. I will be happy with just one person I love. Like my ex-roomie.
This is the reason why I WILL NEVER ACCEPT SOME OF THEM. And I guess they, me.
Just look at the articles they put out and the kinda values they promote. And the title reads : "The Show Is Over, Say Goodbye". They were trivialising a relationship as a show and equating sizzle with more sex fun and movie-quality courtship and drama. Please don't do this.
In other words, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF. Like Ben. Gays fool around. He can speak for himself. There must be some who still believe in not fooling around.
Those Foreign Working And Student Ex-Tenants
I think I am not the least bit interested in any of them who is attached or in denial or who is lying. WHATEVER they say they are, I take it at face value and I don't ask any questions and leave it as that.
I don't do any of the things they do. I am always alone. I don't need a shield, a cover, whatever.
And I am not lifting a finger to clean up after them. Girls, guys, whatever.
If they bring home their beaus, their playmates and sexmates who use the facilities and dirty them, they can jolly well clean up after themselves.
After all, you can play and sex with him, but you can't look after your partner. Help him do laundry, cook for him or look after his health.
I am only interested in lonely heart souls who are alone and unattached and I was looking for a beau in that sense so I can take care of him and him, me.
*Period*
But it turns out, it was a roller-coaster game, hide-and-seek, guess the riddles kinda topsy turvy mess with girls and guys thrown in for good measure these foreign tenants created in my previous home.
When I threw them out and sometimes they left on their accord, I must have been villified as a monster.
The media must have lots to do with it. "The Wedding Game" (and guess what - it is a heterosexual thingy again) and other love serials that make love like a scripted drama loaded with fun, courtship, friends egging them on, triangles, etc.
This Gay HouseHold
Rafi may have been coerced because he was fending off predation on his beau. Or he could have offered himself for some advantage. Rent free perhaps?
But seriously I wish Ben and Rick could role model and stop doing what they are doing. And they do smash the notion that morbid and decent-looking (even old) dressing fashion sense cannot mask their sexually promiscuous lifestyle. Just a BIG cover.
So if my ex-roomie did the same for some advantage like Rafi, then he is probably not worth the while.
And I don't particularly like the other Malaysian PR tenant too.
My Hope For The Future - A Reconciliation
I am still holding open the door for a reconciliation between me and my ex-roomie. At the same time I want closure. I don't want to cling on as this eats into me too much.
I wanna move on if I have to.
I accept him for all that he is. He is just right for me. Personality and charm that overwhelmed me.
He was just too close to me in the room (and also because I like him a lot, not like that other dude at Andy's) and I do need physical (kissing and hugging) and sexual (sexual intercourse) intimacy.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Repeating Groove (Updated)
A Thread Of Bad Luck
You could begin to see the thread of really bad stuff that is affecting me.
First losing my beau, then meeting up with a lecturer who knows no boundaries in his lessons (going off in all directions into senseless trivialities and nonsensities) , the financial crisis and meeting up with my past in the form of my ex-colleague and with my group members in this learning program.
All totally needless.
It is pointless going back into the past and reliving painful memories. And I am like in two worlds if I will be cut off from the future either.
Like a coursemate (and it gets scarier by the moment as I discovered that this Australian lady could actually be the person who is with an adoption agency acting in Cambodia, going by her first name, and she is now divorced - that means everyone has an agenda in the class looking for something) mentioned about her 6 year old daughter who is profoundly deaf.
Some people out there are PROFOUNDLY DEAF, DAFT, IDIOTIC AND THEY STILL DON"T GET IT!
Read this once more :
Knowing the gay households I have lived in and the rest as well, I need a roof over my head. It is gonna be a relationship with my beau and my beau alone. The rest can do what they like, it is none of my business. We role model ourselves and no one disturbs us.
I wanna work in the secondary schools/junior colleges as an Allied Educator for teaching and learning. Not counselling. That will take a lot out of me.
I will NOT be driven to any political parties. Nor to my family members. Nor to receiving handouts from charity organisations or even lodging with them. Nor to any BLIMP or BIMB or WIMP. No gals. No oldies. No certain kind of gays.
As I told my beauty doc, I AM PREPARED FOR THE WORST CASE SCENARIO.
Our Singaporean Malaysian PR - No Need National Service
Ben had, during our coffee session, mentioned how "tiu" (meaning feeling a sense of losing out which shows jealousy) when he had a Chinese girl during his university days who hooked on to a local engineer living in a 3-storey bungalow.
He typecasted the Chinese girls as all having abortions in Johore.
Who the gold digger is, I am not sure. Ben or the rest?
As I reflected, I can't trust the Malaysian Chinese I have worked for, with and lived with.
Auntie Chan Moi, etc.
The Way I See It
My first Chinese tenant, a student at the then Syscom (later AIT Academy) , He Jian, a HangZhou native, was instigated by the whole gang of them - the eunuch Daryl, Wicked Stepmother and so on. What their nationalities are, I can't confirm. I suspect they are Malaysian Chinese.
Then Huai Bao, a ShenZhen native, had a Malaysian classmate whose parents are in the bakery business and boy, when he stayed with me, was it topsy turvy at home.
And a string of a few others...who are behind them I can't confirm. Again I can only postulate that they are Malaysian Chinese.
My bosses - Tan Wee Tin, Khoo Ho Tong, Hong Poh Hin, Mah Kah Leong of CPA firms - the 2nd and 4th of them with Malaysian roots while the rest I can't confirm - had variously Malaysian staff and it was really a madhouse at work.
Tan and Khoo were nice bosses, but not the staff.
Sim Mong Chai and Richard (SME bosses of IT firms) similarly need their background checked. Tyrannical and evil.
The mamasan managing the China girls is Malaysian, at least the one I observed.
Rationale Behind It
I think it goes something like this : Singapore is run like a corporation for economic reasons. This has extracted a huge social cost in terms of profiteering, a warped sense of ethics, a money culture, value system, human relationships and so on.
Many true blue Singaporeans are not working in some trades for obvious reasons of our upbringing and education and so foreigners fill these positions.
At first, it was the Malaysian Chinese. The technical positions, the IT posts, the accounts/audit work, the F&B, the retail sectors, the hair trade and so on.
They must have found life tough and unpleasant. But given the option of returning home, they rather work here for the money.
When they got their residency or citizenship and fill top management or ownership positions in our commerce trades, they began to bad mouth Singaporeans and Singapore because of their own bad experiences.
Now, the China Chinese are taking over their positions and they bad mouth about us to them as well.
They are manipulating them and instigating them against Singapore and us.
Between the two, the Malaysian Chinese and the China Chinese, I pick the latter. I think I have seen enough of the former's antics.
You could begin to see the thread of really bad stuff that is affecting me.
First losing my beau, then meeting up with a lecturer who knows no boundaries in his lessons (going off in all directions into senseless trivialities and nonsensities) , the financial crisis and meeting up with my past in the form of my ex-colleague and with my group members in this learning program.
All totally needless.
It is pointless going back into the past and reliving painful memories. And I am like in two worlds if I will be cut off from the future either.
Like a coursemate (and it gets scarier by the moment as I discovered that this Australian lady could actually be the person who is with an adoption agency acting in Cambodia, going by her first name, and she is now divorced - that means everyone has an agenda in the class looking for something) mentioned about her 6 year old daughter who is profoundly deaf.
Some people out there are PROFOUNDLY DEAF, DAFT, IDIOTIC AND THEY STILL DON"T GET IT!
Read this once more :
Knowing the gay households I have lived in and the rest as well, I need a roof over my head. It is gonna be a relationship with my beau and my beau alone. The rest can do what they like, it is none of my business. We role model ourselves and no one disturbs us.
I wanna work in the secondary schools/junior colleges as an Allied Educator for teaching and learning. Not counselling. That will take a lot out of me.
I will NOT be driven to any political parties. Nor to my family members. Nor to receiving handouts from charity organisations or even lodging with them. Nor to any BLIMP or BIMB or WIMP. No gals. No oldies. No certain kind of gays.
As I told my beauty doc, I AM PREPARED FOR THE WORST CASE SCENARIO.
Our Singaporean Malaysian PR - No Need National Service
Ben had, during our coffee session, mentioned how "tiu" (meaning feeling a sense of losing out which shows jealousy) when he had a Chinese girl during his university days who hooked on to a local engineer living in a 3-storey bungalow.
He typecasted the Chinese girls as all having abortions in Johore.
Who the gold digger is, I am not sure. Ben or the rest?
As I reflected, I can't trust the Malaysian Chinese I have worked for, with and lived with.
Auntie Chan Moi, etc.
The Way I See It
My first Chinese tenant, a student at the then Syscom (later AIT Academy) , He Jian, a HangZhou native, was instigated by the whole gang of them - the eunuch Daryl, Wicked Stepmother and so on. What their nationalities are, I can't confirm. I suspect they are Malaysian Chinese.
Then Huai Bao, a ShenZhen native, had a Malaysian classmate whose parents are in the bakery business and boy, when he stayed with me, was it topsy turvy at home.
And a string of a few others...who are behind them I can't confirm. Again I can only postulate that they are Malaysian Chinese.
My bosses - Tan Wee Tin, Khoo Ho Tong, Hong Poh Hin, Mah Kah Leong of CPA firms - the 2nd and 4th of them with Malaysian roots while the rest I can't confirm - had variously Malaysian staff and it was really a madhouse at work.
Tan and Khoo were nice bosses, but not the staff.
Sim Mong Chai and Richard (SME bosses of IT firms) similarly need their background checked. Tyrannical and evil.
The mamasan managing the China girls is Malaysian, at least the one I observed.
Rationale Behind It
I think it goes something like this : Singapore is run like a corporation for economic reasons. This has extracted a huge social cost in terms of profiteering, a warped sense of ethics, a money culture, value system, human relationships and so on.
Many true blue Singaporeans are not working in some trades for obvious reasons of our upbringing and education and so foreigners fill these positions.
At first, it was the Malaysian Chinese. The technical positions, the IT posts, the accounts/audit work, the F&B, the retail sectors, the hair trade and so on.
They must have found life tough and unpleasant. But given the option of returning home, they rather work here for the money.
When they got their residency or citizenship and fill top management or ownership positions in our commerce trades, they began to bad mouth Singaporeans and Singapore because of their own bad experiences.
Now, the China Chinese are taking over their positions and they bad mouth about us to them as well.
They are manipulating them and instigating them against Singapore and us.
Between the two, the Malaysian Chinese and the China Chinese, I pick the latter. I think I have seen enough of the former's antics.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Adding Up The Emotional Distress
Transference And Counter-Transference
I ran into an old ex-colleague of mine recently.
We faced the same tyrannical and BIG PRICK of an ex-boss, Sim Mong Chai, accountant and director for Value Added System. Previous director of SOXAL. A bully, a verbal abuser, a manipulator.
He didn't like him one bit either as I found out.
But guess what? Now that he is a boss himself, he is doing exactly what this FUCKER was doing. Bullying, insulting and exaggerating himself. He wasn't even listening. There is nothing I can do much except that in our counselling program, this is known to be transference and counter-transference.
In short Sim Mong Chai is a psychopath and psychotic. Like all the other bosses of the SMEs (usually family-based companies) that I have worked for.
He-Ape, Richard and the rest of the gang.
Don't forget the blimps, bimbs and wimps for colleagues who played along and I had to suffer in silence, just trying to be myself. Or pretend to get and go along.
Enough Is Enough - Mental Distress And Torture
It has really been a bad year-end and start to a new year.
First I was recovering from staying at Old Airport Road and the Great Financial Depression.
When I thought I had recovered and that a roomie would be good for me to act as a emotional and moral support (and I was going all out to help him too, in his school work and daily life for example) I had to get one who wanted to play games, act out a movie script , a serial liar who just had too many other places to stay and whose real intention wasn't too clear.
So why rent a room here with me? And he had to take public transport to his classmate's house (as I learned it was his hometown gay lover) whereas it was just walking distance to school at my place. Wouldn't that have saved him money and time?
I like him a lot and I just do not know who exactly he is and what is really happening in his life and what his intentions are. He hasn't helped me one bit except to add to my emotional turmoil.
It was more emotional distress and then my private property went into a tailspin and I had to face off another psycho of a personality in class - my lecturer.
Now I face the prospect of homelessness and even upon graduation, I may not be able to work the job I want if I still owe the developer money.
And living here with a household of other serial liars and actors (maybe even one is a boyfriend snatcher) and playboys just add up.
I fear for my next roomie.
I ran into an old ex-colleague of mine recently.
We faced the same tyrannical and BIG PRICK of an ex-boss, Sim Mong Chai, accountant and director for Value Added System. Previous director of SOXAL. A bully, a verbal abuser, a manipulator.
He didn't like him one bit either as I found out.
But guess what? Now that he is a boss himself, he is doing exactly what this FUCKER was doing. Bullying, insulting and exaggerating himself. He wasn't even listening. There is nothing I can do much except that in our counselling program, this is known to be transference and counter-transference.
In short Sim Mong Chai is a psychopath and psychotic. Like all the other bosses of the SMEs (usually family-based companies) that I have worked for.
He-Ape, Richard and the rest of the gang.
Don't forget the blimps, bimbs and wimps for colleagues who played along and I had to suffer in silence, just trying to be myself. Or pretend to get and go along.
Enough Is Enough - Mental Distress And Torture
It has really been a bad year-end and start to a new year.
First I was recovering from staying at Old Airport Road and the Great Financial Depression.
When I thought I had recovered and that a roomie would be good for me to act as a emotional and moral support (and I was going all out to help him too, in his school work and daily life for example) I had to get one who wanted to play games, act out a movie script , a serial liar who just had too many other places to stay and whose real intention wasn't too clear.
So why rent a room here with me? And he had to take public transport to his classmate's house (as I learned it was his hometown gay lover) whereas it was just walking distance to school at my place. Wouldn't that have saved him money and time?
I like him a lot and I just do not know who exactly he is and what is really happening in his life and what his intentions are. He hasn't helped me one bit except to add to my emotional turmoil.
It was more emotional distress and then my private property went into a tailspin and I had to face off another psycho of a personality in class - my lecturer.
Now I face the prospect of homelessness and even upon graduation, I may not be able to work the job I want if I still owe the developer money.
And living here with a household of other serial liars and actors (maybe even one is a boyfriend snatcher) and playboys just add up.
I fear for my next roomie.
Monday, February 02, 2009
This Is The Gay Community For You
Oh Ben, Have Some Good Sense In You
I just remembered a few things about Ben.
When I refused to divulge the telephone number of my ex-roomie, he got all worked up and flustered, insisting that it was for official purposes. Knowing Ben, I know he will be personal and he has every intention of contacting my ex-roomie on the sly.
You just can't trust him.
It shows how he must have got his way every time when he was young. He was brought up by his 3 aunties, according to his Mom and he has fulfilled his duties by studying hard and going to university.
So he gets his way, everytime. I shun to think of the worst when he spoke of 3 ex-flatmates who were cousins lodging in my same room the last time. What he did and so on! He is a spoilt brat with rich parents who dote on him and he even owns another condo near his school which he rents out.
To whom I dunno, maybe my ex-roomie and his friends.
He was co-stewarding a premiere primary school and you know from the way he speaks, he is in that mode. He is A DUMB BIMBO and he will get his just desserts!
He has proven his sex addiction with the string of different people visiting him late in the night and Old Aunty told me he can't sleep and he is prescribed sleeping pills. I shudder more at the thought of what else he does with these sleeping pills.
He has Rick sleeping with him and they can't just be room-mates and I think I heard Rafi in his room once and Rick sleeps with Rafi too as I have witnessed on an occasion. He cooks for them and his boyfriend as if he is under their spell or command. Rafi is probably a willing slut himself.
Despite all the appearance of a coupling among these people.
I wanna see the outcome of all these when he and my ex-roomie get together. It will be quite a spectacle. My ex-roomie, if he is what I think he is, probably is looking for some advantage. And Ben has it, big time.
Good for them, they will both get what they want for a while and that is it.
Get This Message Loud And Clear
I had fucked off the Arab Hindu the other day.
He is always hanging around the locker area near me and when I train once, he approached me and that was when I fucked him off.
I am not sure what he is up to. Selling me some personal training. Thinking I need help. If I do, I will approach him but I don't. I am happy trying to get back to my workout rountine and the way I am. Training at my own pace.
I can stand on my own two feet.
I am not interested in him as a friend either as he groups with all those people of his kind which I am just not INTERESTED.
I am not particularly fond of his gait - he probably thinks he is a stud!
My Only Chance Of A Graduation Certificate And A Beau
I know I will never get my beau from within the gay circle.
Not the gym, the saunas, the cruising spots, the gay ads or chat channels. It is all about SEX!
My best hope is within the school circle where someone is not into the gay scene. This is where I hope to finish my program, graduate with a diploma to be able to be an Allied Educator in schools and to find my beau and settle down.
And my beau is not coming from my class. There are just 2-3 people I am keen and they are not from my intake anymore.
This is my best hope.
My ex-roomie has probably been snatched away from under my nose from the bitch dog of a whore Ben! Like he must have done with so many other of his ex-tenants. Sleeping around.
Maybe that is why Rafi offered himself to him to fend off his predation on Rafi's beau.
Ben is just a slut. Like my lecturer! He must be in on it with him and knows my ex-roomie very well too. The things they say just link! He is giving out very bad advice and his words have many bad effect on people. He is probably breaking up couples that way too like he must have done to the husband and wife who divorced!
The school circle remains my best chance of finding a true beau!
Pick Again - Your Beau Or The Sex Workers
And yes, the tonnes of make-up on those KTV girls and sex workers.
How natural is that when compared to your beau? Or the boys?
I just remembered a few things about Ben.
When I refused to divulge the telephone number of my ex-roomie, he got all worked up and flustered, insisting that it was for official purposes. Knowing Ben, I know he will be personal and he has every intention of contacting my ex-roomie on the sly.
You just can't trust him.
It shows how he must have got his way every time when he was young. He was brought up by his 3 aunties, according to his Mom and he has fulfilled his duties by studying hard and going to university.
So he gets his way, everytime. I shun to think of the worst when he spoke of 3 ex-flatmates who were cousins lodging in my same room the last time. What he did and so on! He is a spoilt brat with rich parents who dote on him and he even owns another condo near his school which he rents out.
To whom I dunno, maybe my ex-roomie and his friends.
He was co-stewarding a premiere primary school and you know from the way he speaks, he is in that mode. He is A DUMB BIMBO and he will get his just desserts!
He has proven his sex addiction with the string of different people visiting him late in the night and Old Aunty told me he can't sleep and he is prescribed sleeping pills. I shudder more at the thought of what else he does with these sleeping pills.
He has Rick sleeping with him and they can't just be room-mates and I think I heard Rafi in his room once and Rick sleeps with Rafi too as I have witnessed on an occasion. He cooks for them and his boyfriend as if he is under their spell or command. Rafi is probably a willing slut himself.
Despite all the appearance of a coupling among these people.
I wanna see the outcome of all these when he and my ex-roomie get together. It will be quite a spectacle. My ex-roomie, if he is what I think he is, probably is looking for some advantage. And Ben has it, big time.
Good for them, they will both get what they want for a while and that is it.
Get This Message Loud And Clear
I had fucked off the Arab Hindu the other day.
He is always hanging around the locker area near me and when I train once, he approached me and that was when I fucked him off.
I am not sure what he is up to. Selling me some personal training. Thinking I need help. If I do, I will approach him but I don't. I am happy trying to get back to my workout rountine and the way I am. Training at my own pace.
I can stand on my own two feet.
I am not interested in him as a friend either as he groups with all those people of his kind which I am just not INTERESTED.
I am not particularly fond of his gait - he probably thinks he is a stud!
My Only Chance Of A Graduation Certificate And A Beau
I know I will never get my beau from within the gay circle.
Not the gym, the saunas, the cruising spots, the gay ads or chat channels. It is all about SEX!
My best hope is within the school circle where someone is not into the gay scene. This is where I hope to finish my program, graduate with a diploma to be able to be an Allied Educator in schools and to find my beau and settle down.
And my beau is not coming from my class. There are just 2-3 people I am keen and they are not from my intake anymore.
This is my best hope.
My ex-roomie has probably been snatched away from under my nose from the bitch dog of a whore Ben! Like he must have done with so many other of his ex-tenants. Sleeping around.
Maybe that is why Rafi offered himself to him to fend off his predation on Rafi's beau.
Ben is just a slut. Like my lecturer! He must be in on it with him and knows my ex-roomie very well too. The things they say just link! He is giving out very bad advice and his words have many bad effect on people. He is probably breaking up couples that way too like he must have done to the husband and wife who divorced!
The school circle remains my best chance of finding a true beau!
Pick Again - Your Beau Or The Sex Workers
And yes, the tonnes of make-up on those KTV girls and sex workers.
How natural is that when compared to your beau? Or the boys?
Sunday, February 01, 2009
More Slut Shit (Updated)
Role Modelling
Openly gay does not mean being promiscuous.
This is what I advocate for openly gay educators. Ben is certainly not a good role model though he was an educator and still is. I can imagine I bring in my beau and he is gonna be finished. Led astray, tainted and contaminated if he is fresh on the scene.
If it did not already happen to my ex-roomie. If he isn't already.
A household of gay sluts who fool around despite being coupled and none of whom I am interested in except for one.
And on top of that, we have a psychotic lecturer like mine who exemplifies evil and bad role modelling. His cleavage, six-pack and so on.
It is thus important that the rest of the world can go to hell and do what they wanna do. As long as my beau and me, we have our own roof over our heads, we do what we both know we should do. And be good role models to ourselves.
That is it.
It seems like some idiots still don't get it.
Sizzle And Fizzle - Is That All To A Relationship Scripted According To The Movies?
Once again a gay article had espoused complete rubbish.
It wrote about sizzle and fizzle in a relationship and how all coupled gays must eventually prepare for that day when the relationship finally ends.
I agree sizzle helps. However I think many of us, and that include the mainstream, are now being mentalled by the media, especially the movies, that a relationship is a whole stream of drama and sizzle. The courtship, the fun, the animation, etc.
In real life, we can always try to work up the sizzle. Good and fine. But at the end of the day, it is about settling down, house chores, working at a career, dinner together at home, and a good massage as a foreplay to sex.
Then there are the weekend outings for meals, movies or a walk in the park or whatever each is inclined to do together as their leisure pursuits.
If a relationship were to pan out as the article says it should, then many relationships and marriages would have ended.
Once again, gays, you have added more haze to an already hazy and cloudy gay world. Maybe it meant more sex sizzle like SM or some fetishes? That will be between the couple to decide and indulge in. Why not if it helps their relationship and both are complicit.
So please more thinking articles next time that do not make us look like we cannot work at a relationship and hold down one for the long term.
Pick A Choice - Your Beau Or The Sex Workers
I don't mean to be rude. But when I got up close and personal to the Chinese masseues or the KTV girls or for that matter, any of the other foreign sex workers, I couldn't help noticing how many of them had gone under the knife.
They don't look as natural as the Chinese boys (who in most cases are 10 times better) and worse some have such bad oral hygiene, you can smell them from a distance.
I can't imagine what else isn't kept personally hygienic. Their body parts and so on.....
I pity the boys and men who visit them.
Openly gay does not mean being promiscuous.
This is what I advocate for openly gay educators. Ben is certainly not a good role model though he was an educator and still is. I can imagine I bring in my beau and he is gonna be finished. Led astray, tainted and contaminated if he is fresh on the scene.
If it did not already happen to my ex-roomie. If he isn't already.
A household of gay sluts who fool around despite being coupled and none of whom I am interested in except for one.
And on top of that, we have a psychotic lecturer like mine who exemplifies evil and bad role modelling. His cleavage, six-pack and so on.
It is thus important that the rest of the world can go to hell and do what they wanna do. As long as my beau and me, we have our own roof over our heads, we do what we both know we should do. And be good role models to ourselves.
That is it.
It seems like some idiots still don't get it.
Sizzle And Fizzle - Is That All To A Relationship Scripted According To The Movies?
Once again a gay article had espoused complete rubbish.
It wrote about sizzle and fizzle in a relationship and how all coupled gays must eventually prepare for that day when the relationship finally ends.
I agree sizzle helps. However I think many of us, and that include the mainstream, are now being mentalled by the media, especially the movies, that a relationship is a whole stream of drama and sizzle. The courtship, the fun, the animation, etc.
In real life, we can always try to work up the sizzle. Good and fine. But at the end of the day, it is about settling down, house chores, working at a career, dinner together at home, and a good massage as a foreplay to sex.
Then there are the weekend outings for meals, movies or a walk in the park or whatever each is inclined to do together as their leisure pursuits.
If a relationship were to pan out as the article says it should, then many relationships and marriages would have ended.
Once again, gays, you have added more haze to an already hazy and cloudy gay world. Maybe it meant more sex sizzle like SM or some fetishes? That will be between the couple to decide and indulge in. Why not if it helps their relationship and both are complicit.
So please more thinking articles next time that do not make us look like we cannot work at a relationship and hold down one for the long term.
Pick A Choice - Your Beau Or The Sex Workers
I don't mean to be rude. But when I got up close and personal to the Chinese masseues or the KTV girls or for that matter, any of the other foreign sex workers, I couldn't help noticing how many of them had gone under the knife.
They don't look as natural as the Chinese boys (who in most cases are 10 times better) and worse some have such bad oral hygiene, you can smell them from a distance.
I can't imagine what else isn't kept personally hygienic. Their body parts and so on.....
I pity the boys and men who visit them.
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