Resolution Or Death (Updated)

It Is This Or Nothing
I will try to resolve my problem as best as I can.

I know there are just people out there trying to put me in a fix which I am already in. I am most likely to sell off my property investment at a huge loss with the possibility of forfeiture and a legal suit for bankruptcy.

That means I am left with nothing over and above what I may still owe. Fantastic!

My stock value has halved and that isn't gonna see me through this.

I will not try to get a loan from among this circle of well-off gays...the fucking gays...(I am in a predicament only because of the UNHOLY ALLIANCE) because I know they are gonna dangle a range of pre-conditions which I will not EVER FULFILL.

No gals. No blimps.

Not even among the others whom I am remotely keen. The Hindu-Arab or whoever else who is crossing my path right now.

If this is a ploy to push or drive me to them, are these plotters ever dead wrong.

No signing up with any political party either.

If I can't be in some sorta educational job in exchange for a loan, and I am still hanging out here renting a place and be at the mercy of the landlords, it is NOTHING at all. I spit at all their faces.
I can only choose one way which is the best resort for me. NEVER to compromise on my fundamentals. Certainly not for money. Only to be true to yourself.

UnCompromising On His Value System
When I hooked up with this Chinese dude the other day, I was bowled over by his simplicity. A simple job and he has his meals and lodging taken care of by his employer.

He doesn't have to compromise on anything he doesn't want to.

He has admitted a sugar daddy of an uncle treating him out. That is his business. But at least he does not compromise on anything else. He compromised on this though.

But at least he doesn't have to victimise himself if he doesn't choose to.

I NEVER WILL. I CHOOSE DEATH BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN EXPECTING THIS AND I AM PREPARED FOR THIS.

There is no other way.

These Are People Who Do Not Treasure What They Have Or They Still Wanna Fool Around
I really pity Rafi. He has a tall handsome local beau. I haven't been seeing him lately. I am not sure if he has left Rafi. If he does, Rafi must be really to blame. He has one heck of a beau, and he isn't satisfied. Or it could be the other way around or they are in some sorta "open" thingy.

Good for them. Rafi is still sneaking people in on the side.

The same goes for Ben who is with Rick (or is it Peter as I found out from Old Aunty). He thinks he has all these riches and they are in some sorta open relationship.

Maybe even boy-friend snatching from tenants or ex-tenants.

I would have killed for a beau who is steadfast and faithful and whom we can click and settle down.

This is what the whole world is all about. Bis, gays and straights. Look at what we have created here.

Don't blame stresses and complexities. We are to blame for what we seek in hedonism especially when we have that special someone.

All And Everything That He Is
I like my ex-roomie the way he is. I accept him for all that he is. People gotta understand that. Our relationship will pan out the way we both work on it.

Undeterministic And Unethical Test
I just realised how daft my lecturer can be. He can't tell the difference between "inscribe" and "overlap".

And as he admitted, the personality test he administered was flawed because of various reasons so it can't be deterministic if it was only one test in a series of 14.

We were looking for perfect squares and a equilateral triangle as was shown in the example but because the fonts and print were zoomed down, they turned out to be parallelograms, trapeziums and scalene, even right-angled triangles.

No wonder I was tearing my hair out right from the beginning. But since everyone was doing it and even my study groupy and we found out it wasn't to be perfect, I began to work on it.

He had many lapses in memory, he can't remember he did our course preview and there were many, many other lapses.

I wonder how he is gonna be useful in his counselling sessions the way he is.