Today I received two important telephone calls.
One was in the morning and as I am now staying on a low-floor and the environment sweeping vehicle was creating a din oustide, I couldn't hear very well.
The other was during my lunch-break and yes, you can't hear very well either at the crowded and noisy food-court too, can you?
Look Who The Gamers Are Bringing Home?
I am moving out again for the 16th time.
But before I go into that, let me explain what had happened.
Initially I agreed to lend Gerald the advance rental. But when I moved in and out of my room, I noticed that they were smirking and smiling and talking among themselves. That was when I realised they were playing a trick and flatly refused the prepayment.
So if you wanna play games, so can I.
As I said, I have two fakers at home in the likes of Psycho, Fat Bloke and BullDog. Maybe that explains the marriage break-up. I think Gerald can be childish and immature at times too despite being a father.
I don't know what is happening in his life and I am not keen on his "brother", So there!
And I Am Not Staying On.....................
And yes, he is leasing out the other room to an Indian Eurasian. I took one long look, noticed his blue trousers and how he is like and I AM MOVING OUT. Don't anybody get it? No ethnics, no gals, no those people I mentioned and yet they are trying to shove these people onto me.
Purportedly they are from our uniformed groups and everyone knows how critical I have been of them because of my past experiences.
So there is such a thing as textbook idealism and reality in this context. Personally I will not S-E-X with someone of a different creed, color or culture especially the abovementioned.
So it is a matter of choice and I have enough experience of them as my lower secondary classmates and the bosses at a private school which has since shifted near Ben's place.
Once again I tip my hat to those who do and they shall be the model for those who wanna follow in their foot-steps. But I won't.
That Is It - PointLess Being Sincere With Him Coz He Is Just Like The Rest Of The Community?
I have decided enough is enough with HIM. I sense all the other side of him far too soon and I just can't keep bottled up and not let him know what I see.
A mental retard, another faker, player, immatured and given his age, it is a shame, a dramatist, serial liar, someone who loves toxic relationships and being abused and a BIG asshole.
If he has been asking for time off early from work to "go play with his friends" all too often, why wouldn't his company be displeased. But he won't spare time with me or his family.
He was doing all the wrong things like stealing the family car out for rides while unlicensed and because of that, he wasn't inspiring trust and confidence from family and friends.
That also explains why his true friends left him because they saw in him what I saw too?
First class act with an interesting personality which is actually a fake! In the mould of Chris and Daryl the Eunuch.
And if the grapevine proves correct, he was making a fool of himself at parties among the locals and expats without realising it. And he is like the talk of the town among them. They were mimicking what he did and how he laid stupidly on the floor doing some more ridiculous action.
He is gonna be famous for all the wrong reasons. He is trying to be the centre of attraction. He is gonna go haywire with the crowd he hangs out with. He needs anchoring.
Tell Me Where We Are Heading And Gimme That Commitment
All I wanted was that heart to heart talk and just finish with it and move on but he refused me even that. An honest, open, no-holds-barred chat. And a once or twice a week meet-up can't be demanding?
If that can't happen, where is this relationship going? If he is not keen, just let me know and I will move on. I will never let people dangle and I will always make things very clear from the beginning.
If I don't like the person and I am not interested in him, that is it. So I will make things clear. It is the same with girls whom I will always remain friends only.
I just cannot understand him.
Demanding, Proud And What Else?
Yes I can be all that and more. While shopping and in a relationship I can be demanding.
But if you generalise without being specific, I can't change, can I?
And I only change if I think it is true.
Totally Brutally Honest SMSes
I have texted him relentlessly and given him more than a resounding earful for his beneficence.
Totally brutally honest and it is up to him to digest it.
Decoded, It Becomes.........
At the end of the day I am just saying:
"You are someone I care about so I worry about you! Because I care, I get all worked up about you. That is because I can see you are a good kid but you are impressionable and the people around you are not helping. They are egging you on in all the wrong direction.
I am afraid for you once you get your car license. Will you be responsible? Will you try to show off? Thus chauffering your friends around and especially to clubs. Will you drink and drive and speed? Do you have a deathwish that way?
I am having tension headache, I am all tensed up, a knot in my forehead and yes I kinda cringe my wrists and arms and all. All curled up in tension.
And in a relationship I am emotional and impetuous. If you are my beau I dont wanna worry about you. I wanna have confidence in you and me, trust, have faith, be open, honest, truthful and communicative. And spend time together.
No games. No playing the field. If you can, I can. If you don't, I won't too. So we can keep on playing the field and will that lead to anything?
You are lust AND love to me but it began first as LOVE so that is gonna sustain it.
Otherwise what is the point in any relationship?"
Being Sober In LIfe Is No Fun - Life Here Is So Full Of Traps
I have taken to drinking hard liquor everytime before I meet him.
Because I really dunno wat is happening in his life and so on. So being sober is gonna kill me. Being half drunk loosen me up and keep me sane and not so worked up. It calms my nerves.
But I won't know what that will do to me!
Another Faker
80 bucks for a pair of insoles. That was the opening bid before it was bargained down to $40. I paid $30 as that was all the cash I had and I meet HIM again for my other shoe's problem. A faker!
Glue and stitch for $25. Stitch a pair of plastic? I thought it would be more for fabric?
Ok so plastic can be stitched.
You Are Not God And Try To Script Our Lives According To Your Gospel
The community and the State have made me lose my job, my home, my car and my everything.
That includes a war-mongering family like my second sister. Why won't she just stick to her business and not interfere with mine?
Among other new gossip I hear now is that I am accused of having a share in a company and therefore receiving an income while sitting down idle.
Someone is just trying to script my life and hound me to death. Who I can't be sure! And it is just the whole stinking place of people here whom you cannot trust.
I will never forgive them till the day I die. And I will seriously jump off a building if nothing pans out soon.
What Else Can Stress Do?
My new medical condition symptoms have all but disappeared.
My research has shown that it is most likely to be benign idiopathic. That means it must have been due to all the stresses in the past year.
I am really glad.
I just hope my knees and legs hold up well enough. They don't seem to work very well these days.
Not On A Witch Hunt But Only Too Keenly Aware
I am not on a witch hunt but I am keenly aware of who is who. Unless I am not noticing, stressed and too pre-occupied.
Some of them I am interested in. Just that there is that missed connection. No opportunity for an opener to something more?
Unless we run into each other regularly.
But I already have HIM and just waiting for his WORD and I will drop everything.
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