More Of What Goes On

Why Am I So Taken Up With This Chinese Guy?
First I think half of me is Chinese, coming as it is from my mom. And we know how many years of civilisation the Chinese has. Its exotic, imperial, warring times that dazzles and beckons. Having visited Beijing, that was even more surreal.

Kinda going back to my roots.

When I visited Taipei, I was impressed with the mostly refined, melodious and soft-toned Chinese language the men spoke. Of course some of the women were coarse. China is catching up but probably the countryfolks have a lot more catching up to do.

This Chinese guy typifies it. It is a different language and I am drawn to it as I am frankly sick of our Singlish, or English as it is spoken.

A perfect gentleman. Schooled, refined and suave.

If he is for real, that is. And he is not faking it, packaging it because he was a marketeer.

Many parts of China have modernised. The culture for them now is to entertain clients at KTVs and massage parlors. So I am not expecting them to be too different from us here. But I am sure some roots still die hard.

But Who Exactly Is He?
There are of course many other postulates about him. Like maybe he really came here to study but fell into bad company (yes, I have seen his friends and I don't like most of them save for one or two). And his English is impeding him from going further.

He has gone nuah while here. I can see him logging on till late in the night while he stays with me which is really depriving him of his much needed sleep but elsewhere, he logs on only in the afternoon which means he sleeps till the late morning and perhaps goes out at night as he doesn't log on at night anymore.

The ticketing stamp on his hand luggage reads 15 Sep and he claims he is here only for 3 months. Like most other Chinese guys I ran into, they invariably seem to be here only 2 months. But the ticket does look a bit worn down and I am sure he has been here longer than he claims.

I have not checked his passport and that would say it all. Is he even the person he claims he is? Is he from a different school even.

If he was seducing moi for some bad intentions, I cuss him to hell and he will have his just desserts as he surely will, along with his other conspirators.

He will end up like my army mate Allan. Look at what has happened to him decades later.

I have a funny feeling, he is playing with both women's and men's emotions. But as I said, he will have his just rewards.

I am crossing my fingers and keeping faith and see how things will go.

It Does Leave Me With An Emotional Vacuum
I am not sure if I can take on another new roomie in his place.

His leaving has left me in emotional flux and turmoil for a while. First there is denial that he is gone and then depression and sadness and now anger if he was trifling with my emotions all the while.

Now I just wanna forget him and get on with my life but it is easier said than done.

So a new roomie if he isn't gonna return will have to wait a while longer.

I am just hoping for his eventual return.

Class Sucks
I can't make fast friends here in my class. Half of them are of a different ethnic background. Most are women. Some are very much older women. Most are young. Mostly Singaporeans and we all know how we all think the same way most of the time.

Some internation students will be good. For a different perspective. The Australian woman is vocal. But where are the younger set?

Shsssssssh..........

Doesn't make it any better that it is part-time and there are no recreational or co-curricular activities for more interaction.

Unlike a full-time class with the Chinese or younger students or the matured students doing masters or something like the Chinese guy.

One less circle for knowing people.

Come Up With More Consistent And Wholesome Values
Unless the gay community can come up with more consistent articles that espouses fidelity, we are gonna be looked upon as trash, sluts and doomed.

Of course it happens in the bi and hetero communities too.

Start off with striking up relationships. What is it all about. Friendship, love, caring, trust, etc.

Then, no pre-occupation with penile sizes as a prerequisite for a relationship or sex.

Emphasize a monogamous relationship first and foremost. Then perhaps a three-way or a four or multi-way may be feasible for some, but not all. Certainly a couple seeking a third or multi for ONS is gonna make us look trashier and sluttier.

Worse if it is with a bi. Emphasize that this may not work out in the longer term if he chooses to go another way. Then we are just side-kicks. Unless he switches back or chooses one.

Finally no definition of roles. It will be on a basis of mutual attraction first and the roles will play out eventually. Even then we play several roles with different people.

For the younger and prettier boys or even the not so young but pretty, I top. For the others, I may bottom. So in a sense I am flexi.

Do not make our community look as if like we are transgendered. That is at least what my lecturer seems to be harping on. All the time.

I Wanna Do My Own Thing, Get This, ShitHeads!

After The Ramble, Comes The Thunder And Lightning
Yesterday my blog was just a ramble.

Today I am gonna elaborate on what is happening in my life and all around me.

Sleaze Everywhere, So When Is It One Too Many?
First the sleaze that exists right here around the estate where I live.

I have written about the prolific KTVs and massage parlors that have sprouted here stretching from Selegie Road to Bencoolen Street and Middle Road (the Bras Basah Civic District if you like) all the way to Concorde Hotel (formerly Le Meridien).

As if that is not enough, Jalan Besar and Balestier which are just a stone's throw away have enough of them and near-24 hr Internet gaming centres which can feed an army of street-walkers and late-night young cybergamers.

The night life extends even further away to the Chinatown district and Tanjong Pagar.

Thai drags, darker-skinned girls (Filipinas or Thais), loads of China girls and a couple of Malaysians. Almost everywhere you walk, you see them.

If it isn't bad enough, a new KTV has just opened right down the street where moi lives. You just need to take a peek at their webby to be cognisant of what goes on inside the establishment.

My apartment building houses the mostly China show-girls, the kept mistresses and lovers and yes, there is a thriving gay community living here as well.

There are late night brawls, loud shouting matches, drunken stupor and unconsciousness of the hostesses and their clients. I have seen one patrol car whizzing past so far, on a late night out observation. But our men-in-blue do not seem to want to get out of their cars to patrol the streets. Why?

Yes, occasionally we see a few white men and a few Japs or maybe Koreans. But the clientele is largely local. The towkays and probably some establishment players too.

I have seen a SMU Mongolian student reeking of alcohol in the elevator with arms twirled around a woman in short minis and high-cut boots (apparently she is a resident of the same apartment as him). Even he has fallen by the wayside.

Another has gone wayward 6 months after he arrived, had to disrupt his studies promptly and is now back again.

Sleaze Extends To Private Schools
Even the students are not spared.

I have heard how school agents are wining and dining them at these KTV establishments in order to ink or close a deal. That means signing up for a course or getting them to switch schools or to come study here in Singapore.

And it is good money to be made.

Students, mind you!

My Roomie
3 months after I have settled down here and recovering from my depression living at yet another sleazespot, I thought I could perhaps hunt down a roomie for company.

As it turns out, he is supposedly a MBA student at this private school where moi is doing his learning program.

11 days later he is out of my life.

First he had worked 2 years before back home in China. A property dealer doing exactly the kinda entertainment I have described above (if that is even true)

When we first met, I liked him instantly. He had all the charm and qualities of a gentleman, the glibest of tongue and an aura of warmth and friendliness. His body language was just too close to me and over a week, I have repeatedly text him to hint to him what to expect of me as a room-mate.

He gave all the correct answers and moved in.

I am not sure anymore who he is and what his intentions are!

A few postulates and possibly more if I can think of it:
(1) He is sent by the private school to spy on me, to know why I am at their school and to learn of my background
(2) He is a school agent and is preying on me to possibly sign up for a higher education course in the school
(3)If the above two are true, then even my lecturer and the administration must be in on this
(4)He is who he says he is

He apparently studies overnight at his friends' prior to exams and disappears for two nights promptly thereafter. I know he goes to church on Sundays as if perhaps to ask for forgiveness after all that he has done for the week?

I have seen one of his friend who is almost a local here (having spent his primary school days here) and who is from his same hometown back in China.

I don't like him one bit because he reminds me of that dude whom I spent a month or two with at Andy's. The dyed hair, clubbing sort and the private school he studied in was one mentioned as being a sleazespot too. He is 21 and doing an MBA. Whoa!

I have nothing against clubbing if it is pure fun and dancing and you can hold your drink. Not what happens after that. The excesses, the vomit, the drunken stupor , the high, the unconsciousness. The damaging health effects. And the sex.

I was jealous. My roomie bought bread for this dude and he was away three nights. And sometimes when I talk to my roomie, he does not seem to be a real person. It was a packaged form, from his conditioned days of marketing and entertaining clients and he is probably still at it here, and somehow I knew he was talking in a third person.

I am not sure if he is just trapping moi to sell moi something or if he has something up his sleeve.

I have professed my love for him three times but he has rejected them all.

And for my home-life I don't like complications.

He certainly has a wealth of knowledge about us gays when he claims to be straight (possibly bi, maybe gay). Either way, I don't like the idea of him staying here. First the gay household and then the surrounding girly bars. I am like doomed.

Suggestions coming from him range from holing up with a lesbian and doing each own's thing and he probably doesn't mind multiple relationships, judging from the things he says.

There is that real, goody-goody boy deep down inside him that I can't reach out to.

It hurts me very deeply that he is in denial, that he is conditioned and the real him can't come out. He is either faking it or he is just conditioned the way he is.

I fell in love with him the moment I set eyes on him the day we met.I am just so sorry I have to let him go, but cross my fingers that he will come back.

I still have complete faith in him and I wanna trust him if he can just tell me what is going on.

More games people play.

My Learning Program
Now if it is true the school is in collusion with my roomie then my lecturer must also be in on it.

The topics he espouses during lessons and the email he replied me. I am not too sure what his intentions are. As far as I am concerned, he is lecturer, we are all just his students.

He is funny and leaves us in stitches ...always. But he does harp a lot on LGBT issues when he is married. We don't hear so much of marital woes' issues from him?

Then he keeps changing the assignment topics and format. He asks if we have dysfunctional friends. I say I have. Him! Ha ha ha.

I thought when he defines neuroses and psychoses that he didn't get it right. But he insists, so what can I say? And I know for a fact things keep changing in what he says during his class.

The School Surrounds
I like this city campus and the whole professional set-up. But I wished I was a full-time student along with the other younger people so I can communicate better with them.

As it is, my class are older locals and I don't click as much with them and this happens only at night.

And yes some recreational facilities would probably facilitate better interaction too.

My Long Hair Experience
The year I kept my hair long has been quite an experience.

I have swept it up and tied it down with an over the crown kinda hair band. It must have been a talking point with some people for sure. The longer than usual hair. The hair band. Etc Etc. Was I gonna be a trans? To cut or to fix (as my lecturer in the class has harped on for the nth time in his class about transgendered people)?

It has also served me several advantages to look a bit more androgynous. Some sexual ambivalence. I thought I attracted quite a few blimps and more accepting people of another ethnicity. Plus people who like transgendered kind. And then I could spend more time in the loo.

This is just how people are. Stereotyping. Assumptions. Presumptions. Jumping to conclusions. Worse of all, conformity. We are all conditioned to the short crop cut and we don't seem to be able to accept longer-styled hair.

I have shorn off my locks and it will be another year again before my long hair comes back in vogue.

And Then My Attire
I am not sure what my lecturer or my classmates make of my attire. I am dressed in tight-fitting tees and skinnies and sporting ear-studs and ear-rings.

They can say all they want about a second childhood or whatever. I don't care. I just wanna feel young again.

I suppose that could be a psychologist's issue. Like fetal psychology is, just to promote the profession and make an issue out of nothing. Otherwise psychology will just die a certain death?

Sexual Grooming Of Minors
Yes there is a Penal Code on this.

I don't see how this is wrong especially in the gay context.

If I groom a minor, I groom him for a monogamous, gay, loving relationship. What is love, what is a relationship, what is caring, what is sacrifice! Not sex and lust first before anything else. Not a three-way like the gay community has espoused in one of its articles or even worse, a couple seeking a third for ONS fun.

That in fact should have been taught in schools.

So what is wrong with that?

Fundamentals
All that has happened recently had me resolving even more issues.

I would like a monogamous relationship, ideally with a room-mate. But if he wanna fool around, well, I can too. I hope it will be this China guy. I am not interested in blimps, bimbs or wimps or someone of a different ethnic background.

There will be no girls in my life except as friends.

I will not complicate home life with a woman (lesby or otherwise) fronting a facade and then engaging in gay sex on the side.

I wanna complete this program of learning and get a job in the niches I aspire to. Please do not close all the doors on me as I soon discovered I probably will be upon graduation after I attended a public service networking session.

I will not join any party! As a China dude pointed out to me that I should at this networking session.

I wanna buy a place in an appropriate location. Where I am now is not too bad. I can live with the sleaze and the foreign workers milling around especially on weekends. Coz I am gay I am ok with the girls. But I am not too sure if another gay can with Rafi the Filipino in the household. And yes even the owner who is supposed to be coupled (he sure has some visitors alright) And for a bi....the girly bars around.

I am not Che Guevara. I wanna do my own thing. You let me do them. You go your way, I go mine. And maybe I will eventually thank you in the end.

Period.

Assholes, you get this?

I Am Only Too Keenly Aware

I know who is trying to direct the script in my life right now.

Somebody out there evil is trying to push me into a corner. First my financial portfolio and then my property investment are being affected.

I am fully aware of the people who keep appearing in my life at this moment. From school to the gym to home. These are people they plant among me. I know the few women who sit around my table and the things they say.

And the lecturer. And then my short-term room mate. Then at "home". Then there is the gym where this Middle Eastern keep appearing. I cn only guess at their intentions.

Fuck you, mother bastards, whoever you are.

I pick my beau, not you. I choose who I wanna live with. I wanna pursue my interest in my career. I wanna buy my own place. You deny me the job aspiration I want with the qualifications I have and I will kill you.

There are all these evil wimps, bimbs and blimps as usual surrounding me. Putting on acts and so on. I am from the dark side so I don't need to see the dark side even more.

I am already living in one dark black hole surrounding me and you put them there. With more of them cropping up.

Fuck you once again!

InFidelity - Only For Some Of Us? (Updated)

So That Is Why I Smoke?
I guess the reasons I smoke are manifold. It isn't addiction, for sure. I can quit anytime.

It is a question more of boredom, refuelling and thinking and of itchy fingers.

Then there is that issue of sitting alone somewhere in some smoking zones of a public place. If moi just sit there and stare and observe, he will probably be mistaken for a kook (if he isn't already).

The cops would probably also wanna know what moi is doing down there at that time of night. If he isn't gonna be questioned, handcuffed and taken away (OO S&M fun), he is probably gonna be accosted for sex (being mistaken for a sex whore) -not that that is too far off the mark - and carried off to be gang-raped (I look forward to this). *Smiles*

Smoking takes away that stigma. You are there for a legitimate reason - to puff. That is ok. It is cool. It is reasonable. You won't be arrested.

That Old Generation Of Thinking
The Wet Wet Wet Floor
I have a funny feeling Old Aunty hates me to the guts. You know she is pissed whenever she sits in the hallway, writing into her little Buddhist book of sins, I think.

Everything I do seems to grate on her. First the shower area floor are the slippery kind when wet. The crevices throw up dirt whenever water is sprayed onto them.

I have bought not one but four pieces of those stick-on anti-slip rugs to cover various parts of this floor. Even if they hold water and turn dirty easily (I will help wash if necessary), they are still far better off in preventing slip-ups.

Everyone (there are altogether 4 of us and that excludes the visitors and the beaus and the playmates who use it too) bathes here. So expect it to be wet. I can't apologise for that.

There is another small cramped loo which is hardly utilised. That loo has a nice rough anti-slip surface however.

In fact I think all the playmates who come here to play should just use this loo.

Someone has been smoking near the balcony and leaving ashes on the floor. That is not moi. Someone is trying to nail and crucify moi (Oops, haven't I already said that a long time ago?)

It Is Wet Wet Wet Out Here Too
This reminds me of the gym, the shopping malls and the swimming complexes where washing seems to take place at anytime. Usually when moi visits. Strangely.

Ben, the owner, should have let Old Aunty sleep in the master bedroom with its attached bath.

She is cognisant of the visitors here and of her own son. But whether she is accepting or not is another matter. Even Ben isn't sure if she is when I asked him.

Since she monopolises the kitchen moi has taken to washing my cups and what-nots in the loo save for filling up my kettle jug which is just too tall to go under the tap. That has to be done in the kitchen.

Why Buy When You Can Borrow? Question Is, We Do Need Some Reference Books And Some Books Can't Be Had For A Long Time
I have bought a couple of books for my upcoming program of learning. She asks if I had not bought them from Popular. We all know that Popular sells mainly school textbooks and assessment books.

The books I bought are of a different nature. She must also be thinking I could borrow from the library.

Books go on loan and they can disappear for a long time.

There are only so many copies and so many branches that stock them. I have actually visited more than four outlets to hunt for this health exercise book I borrowed once from a branch. I was never able to lay my hands on it again untill I spotted it at a bookstore and promptly snap it up.

Besides I do need some books for reference from time to time.

Eat Fresh
I have written about how veggies like lettuce or cabbage and fruits like tomatoes or bananas (and they come in their plastic wrap foil too in some cases) just do not keep well (even in the fridge) for too long. They turn soggy and rot.

I know because I have bought French loafs from Delifrance before (yes the bread doesn't keep well for too long too and we don't eat sandwiches everyday) and do my own sandwiches myself.

If aluminium foil helps, then add this to the cost.

That Generation Again!
Imagine that Old Dude I met when I wanted to lease a room. He was actually using a huge urn for scooping water to wash and flush the toilet.

OMFG!

Level The Playing Field And Make Equality Of The Sexes Truly Equal
It bears repeating this.

If out-in-the-open solicitation in public places is allowed for the bis and heteros, then gays must be allowed the same shot at equality of the sexes.

Most of the time, we do it out of sight, discreetly and away from the prying eyes of the public. How dare the rest be allowed to do it unabashedly, blatantly and openly!

I guess it is also this discreetness, the speed, the quickie and the amazing array of nooks and crannies to do our "stuff" which spells stealth that moi doesn't feel safe with a gay dude because of fidelity issues.

The best hope for moi is someone fidel outside of the well-known cruising gay circle.

But the same must go for the bis and the heteros too, married or attached who stealthily have fun on the side at the same time.

Let us then make this on-par for all and don't moralise for one segment of the population only.

My, My, You Are A Gregarious Little Creature, Aren't You?

Midnight Tete-A-Tete
Moi: "Ryan, I am really afraid!"

Ryan: "What happened?"

Moi: "There is a party going on in the other room."

Ryan: "Which room?"

Moi: "You know. That Filipino's room."

Ryan: "Oh? The Filpino beside me?"

Moi: "Yeah. You mean there is another Filipino other than the two of you? Jesus! What is this house coming to? A house full of Pinoys?"

Ryan: "Well.....wassup?"

Moi: "You know I am a newbie. I have seen a couple of fresh faces everytime in the two short weeks I am here and up untill now I thought I knew who was who. I guess not huh?"

Ryan: "While I was staying there, I didn't bother. I only brought my girlfriend over occasionally."

Moi (thinking aloud): "Yeah right Ryan! I have heard about all your sexcapades with fat ones, skinny ones and so on....You are monogamous?....Muahahahahahahaha....

Moi: "Besides, I thought it was a Sunday and you gotta get back to work on Monday. So a party on Sunday? And on some occasions I have got up to hear all those strange noises in his room and he was fucking our local boys. Fuck man! What of his beau?"

Moi: "Well.....looks deceive, don't they. I didn't know he was so "gregarious" (a euphemism really, for "promiscuous", much like "Integrated Resort" is for casinos)"

Maybe moi is just jealous he wasn't invited for the party. Maybe moi just wanted to sink his teeth into the jugular of that Filipino dude and his beau. And of course there is Ryan

Just maybe.

After all, moi can be equally gregarious?

I love you to Death (3x)

Gay And Sex Busters

GhostBusters (Gay/Sex Busters) - Lyrics Of A Song That Fit What Goes On Here
You should see the things going on around here in this house and all around the streets outside the apartment building.

All the different pairs of shoes every weekend night and sometimes on weekday nights lined up outside the house is LIVING PROOF of what goes on.

I can only think of ONE song that fits the description.

GayBusters (or alternately SexBusters)
If there's something strange in your neighborhood
Who ya gonna call?
SexBusters

A naked man sleeping in ya bed
Oh who ya gonna call?
GayBusters

I ain't afraid of no gays
I ain't afraid of no sex

I hear it likes the gays and sex

If you are all alone, join in the fun
And call GayBusters

I Love You To Death
I wrote in an earlier blog how I will love my beau to death, whoever he may be once we are hooked on to each other.

Incidentally that forms part of the lyrics of a song whose singer I thought was Freddy Mercury. Anyway, here are some lyrics that I can still remember:

I love you to death (3x)
Oh Baby

Too bad I can't remember the rest which are seriously quite meaningful in this context.

Another Day Another Blog (Updated)

Isolate, Contain, Confine And Sectorise
Maybe I haven't made myself very clear with my recent blog on the sleaze that lurks here.

Well, there is a proliferation of KTV Disco pubs here, which are just front covers for prostitution and sex. Some come with show performances. Nothing really wrong with that, you say. It has been around for ages.

True.

Unfortunately, moi's 30 year-old apartment building (and as the security guard told moi, when he first started work, it was all nice and pleasant here untill sub-letting to foreigners began and the whole place turned to sleaze) is housing some of these show-girls and the hostesses (who are just plain streetwalkers).

There are families, singles and foreign students living here.

What the hookers do is in full public view. The scantily clad dresses. The solicitation out in the streets. The pick-ups. The pairing. The whole works.

Ah, foreign students. What does that conjure up? Read: young, virile and testesterone-driven males - alone, without parental control and holing up with their fellow young, virile, lonely, testesterone-driven peers.

What can possibly happen? If they aren't already doing it in the comfort of their hostels, this sure adds another piece of SEX temptation.

For that matter, any foreign worker. Alone, young and male.

It does seem like the foreigners are having it all. First our jobs, then our homes, even education and now it seems SEX AND FUN!

For most local boys living with families, they are more restrained and they usually defer sex.

To top it all, there are 24-hour Internet and cybergaming shops here. So many of them that local and foreign students flock to them and if they can't see what goes on around them, they must be BLIND!

A budget hotel sits right next to a private school in another street in this area.

Yes hotels are for tourists and locals. But we also know who else uses them. And schools do operate till late in the night.

Urban planners, do have some good sense in you.

Can you please isolate, confine, contain and sectorise SEX establishments (and that include both hetero, bi or gay oriented ones) in one development area with all its attendant ancillary services like accomodation, hotels, beer-drinking cafes or pubs, eateries and what-nots!

Especially those operating in full public view - the open solicitation, the congregation and the beer-drinkers and their sexily and scantily dressed companions.

Bangkok seems to have done better than we have!

OO Maybe That Is Why - Now I Know
Maybe that explains who is crucifying moi.

I have banned visitors especially female visitors for all my previous tenants.

This must be a HOT POTATO issue since they wanna bring their playmates, their toy boys, their beaus, their sex partners, their mistresses in for HOT FUN and SEX.

They wanna play and sex but they won't clean up after that.

And I was looking for an all male, all gay (maybe bisexual) household when I rent.

But for living, I just prefer my own beau.

Guess what, they were jealous and they were angry and they were restricted and sexually frustrated. Imagine underaged school-going foreign tenants who are here on STUDY PASSES!

Not FUN and SEX passes!

More Asides
I possibly didn't explain too clearly what I blogged about the last time.

First, looking at some of the noxious state of the refuse receptacles (meaning dust-bins) and the litter that fill their brims, it makes one wonder why the Environmental Public Health Act doesn't kick in to clean up these public loos.

And these are loos of our public places.

Second, I am sure there are issues of eating sandwiches at Subway. People will tell you that you can always make them yourselves.

Yes I certainly can and I have done it before. Question is I don't eat sandwiches everyday.

By the time I do, the cabbage, tomatoes or lettuce probably doesn't keep very well. Therefore when I do need to eat sandwiches, I eat fresh,

Third, the same reasoning goes for bananas. It is more expensive paying for single bananas rather than a comb of them. But again a comb doesn't keep very well.

Yet again when I do need to eat, I eat fresh.

You can imagine how people do not know about contracted names anymore. Like Liz is for Elizabeth or Joe is for Joseph.

I think Asians are in a dilemma. Asians who wanna build their bodies for example. Thus far all the health literature and research on all those health supplements do not study Asians. So is there a difference? More importantly do we still follow the kinda recommended dosage? How much is enough and how little is too little?

Finally three to six small meals a day. What constitute a small meal? For Asians we still like our rice with vegs and other dishes. Is this a small meal?

By All Means Reuse And Recycle But There Comes A Point In Time It Has To Be Disposed Of And Replaced
There comes a point in time that something has to be replaced.

The table wipes can be washed and rewashed but there will come a point in time that it is just dirty and grimy and a new one has to be bought.

The same goes for a sponge wipe, the mop-wipe head and nappies.

Remember nappies have babies peeing and shitting in them. Reusing again and again after washing and rewashing just won't do. Therefore disposable diapers were invented. For hygiene and sanitary reasons.

Our underwears are only stained with urine or faeces (we don't purposefully defecate or urinate on them) but that is ok. It can be washed and rewashed and reused. But I suppose we will one fine day also replace them.

Get This Right Pigs!
That roof over my head has been constantly under threat. I have moved 14 times. I need to buy my own place but given the sky-high prices of public housing and the financial crisis now, I am put on hold.

Even when I do buy my own place and I am with a beau, I wanna be financially independent. No handouts, no dependence on human vagaries, NO NOTHING. Totally self-reliant.

I can't plan for my studies until now. I can't settle down to a good read or study. And even then this REALLY isn't home. I anticipate problems with an older generation living under the same roof. I can't be sure about the rest.

I don't wanna spend too much time and money given my age. And I am not even sure I am employable after graduation. Especially to be employed in an industry and vocation that I am passionate about. Pointless to spend your whole life doing something you don't like.

And money is always an issue. I am paying out of my own pocket.

Get this into your thick heads, PIGS!

From Living To Studying To Gay Issues

So What's Happening Dude? Plenty!
My One-Year Abode Here
I have been here a whole 16 days.

I love the location here, situated right in the heart of Orchard Road, one of Singapore's uptown and upscale shopping belt. That means moi can gym very conveniently, especially since 2 of Calif's branches are within walking distance.

As for running and librarying, moi has to venture fuirther afield as there isn't a single track within sight here and the central library may not stock all the books moi wants.

And moi is gymming very seriously now, following his own self-taught training regime and downing a variety of supplements to boost this work-out. From whey protein and meal replacement powders to creatin and from fat-burners to growth hormones.

This is truly inner-city living where the streets are busy and there is an international community living here.

To catch some alone time and space and breather, I venture out early mornings or very late nights to puff and to think. There are various nice "refuel, think and puff spots" dotted along the whole way.

I was, as you remember, still reeling from the financial and emotional distress of the past month. The Great Financial and Emotional Depression. The global financial crisis. Living at Ah Yong's. The neighborhood. The community. The sleaze that looms nearby.

I suppose that was the period of "grief" and despair I was undergoing as I learn from a read on social issues and problems. I am now entering a phase of recovery and reorganisation.

A Learning Program For An Emerging And Developing Field
While here, I bump into a couple of foreign students (and boy, are they hot! and of course that include the tenants here) and somehow, like an invisible hand, they directed moi to the school that they were studying in and moi learn of a program that suits him to an almost perfect 'T'.

Moi wants to specialise in a very specific and emerging and developiong field here. A field that will come to fruit in 2011. A field that engages the human health services.

As far as moi knows, its last intake was about half a year ago and that tells you how under-supplied and unpopular the course is, unlike other humanities and business programs.

And that in turn spells good news for a tight job market.

From Sleaze To Sleaze
It was also while moi was on a late night out refuelling, thinking and puffing that he bgan to notice the sleaze that lurks around what is essentiallly a very schoolsy, artsy and school-residency environ here.

It makes one wonder how many "red-light" districts we are trying to create here. We already have them in Joo Chiat and in Geylang. And I am sure there are pockets in other places too like Bukit Timah, Chinatown or Peninsula Plaza.

Moi does not object to prostitution per se. It has been around for centuries, is one of the world's oldest profession and it serves a human need. But of course that has to be weighed against the social cost of contracting sexual diseases and breaking up families.

However I do object on several other grounds.

Points To Ponder - How Gays Are Further Discriminated Against
One, keep them out of the heartlands where the majority of Singaporeans live. No solicitation in void decks, coffee-shops, whatever.

Two, exactly how many red light districts are enough for Singapore? One, two, three, four...or twenty? Our sex industry seems to be hotting up and foreigners are staffing them, most of the time.

Three, the open and blatant nature of the solicitation and prostitution in residency areas just do not gel. From the way the hookers dress and congregate in numbers to the various times in the day and night that they choose to solicit. Spilling onto streets, eateries, malls and pathways meant for people who live, work or play there.

Four, if we must have them, put them in the downtown and commercial hub areas.

Our policy-makers have been deft at redrawing electoral boundaries (to the extent of making a GRC look so disparate because of the various wards they are made up of) but they have not learned to isolate, sectorise and contain sleaze from residency.

That means a whole street or development meant for sleaze. Very, very, very far away from schools, residence (and that means student hostels or just about any kind of hostel) and 24-hour genuine eating or Internet cafes.

We gays are discreet and we do our "stuff" usually under the cloak of dark, in camouflage, in private, away from the prying eyes of the public. Like forested areas, beaches and parks buffered by trees and shrubs. Loos and generally any pubic place that is out of sight of prying eyes.

However we were harassed and hunted down like gaming preys while the "out in the open" and blatant nature of hetero-prostitution isn't.

So the Penal Code for gayism has to be revised and changed. And in the name of fairness and equality of the sexes, gay men have to be allowed to dress up scantily and prostitute in the open like their "hetero' counterparts.

Other Asides
Why have tree, shrub and grass patches levelled to ground level? Why not recess them a couple of inches below ground level? That way, when it rains, no soil gets washed out to the pathways?

Develop noiseless and silent technology for a range of home gadgets. Vacuum cleaners, electric shavers, juice blenders and mixers, hair dryers, air-conditioners and electric fans for starters. Then branch out to bigger things like cars, planes, motors and so on.

It comes as a surprise to me that cruelty to animals and birds are prosecutable under the Act but that humans are not equally protected under the law. I am talking about the kind space and living confinement of us humans and stuff like infuriating, torturing and terrifying humans.

Someone Out There Means Moi Harm
I guess someone (whoever you are) out there is trying to make a monster out of me. They are trying to nail and crucify me. I think I have met a couple of them recently but I can't confirm it.

They wanna play God and they don't start by looking at themselves and the things they have done themselves.

I am willing to meet them out in the open, debate on who has done what and thrash things out and let us see who wins.

We are all almost on par and no better and holier than each other.

Get that real right PIGS!

The Least You Can Do - Discretion And Clean Up After Yourselves (Updated)

Gays, Please Clean Up After Your Sex Act Especially In A Family Home (Or Any Home For That Matter) And Can You Be More Discreet About It
I feel I have to write this as a matter of social conscience.

Right here where moi is now living, there live an old couple together with their "happily" coupled gay son (who knows what goes on in the middle of the night when everyone sleeps - visitors and with each fellow tenant).

I feel very sorry for this old lady who must be cognisant of what goes on around the house from the various conversations that I have with her.

First there is this hot muscular Filipino IT (and it seems someone holding a very senior position) dude living in one room. I have, on my first week living here, witnessed his very young and equally hot local school-boy type companion visiting him.

His companion actually uses the loo and they shower before their sex act and then right after, right under the nose of this old lady. The old lady has even told me he brings groupies over to booze and he has other sex visitors too.

Then this loo isn't exactly very clean - with moi cleaning up faecal smudges and what-nots that lurk around.

At least if you wanna sex, keep the common areas clean. Clean up after yourself and after your companions. In fact beaus are for just that. Helping you clean up. Worse try not to let your companions compete with paying tenants who also need to use the common facilities.

The same goes for the other Filipino 'hetero' couple. He has many female companions it seems.

Most of all, can you try not to hurt the feelings of the old couple (especially the old lady) living here or at least put her in an awkward and difficult position.

Oops, I Thought Old Uncle Is Only Visiting And Old Aunty Is Rotated Among The Three Siblings And Not Permanent Fixtures? Otherwise I Will Think Twice Before Shifting In Here
I know I have committed many faux pax when I moved in here.

First the loo's walls, toilet bowl and surrounds were coated with slime and faeces and I gave it a good scrub-down. I accidentally knocked over the suction plastic soap dish holder but promptly bought a brand new replacement.

Then I replaced the old bathroom rug which even though it could be washed, it won't be clean, grimy as it is. Just like Ah Yong's. Except that Ah Yong's had his two Chihuahuas shitting on them before and they are in worse condition (that is why we have diposal diapers nowadays).

Finally I bought a new rug for placing outside the bathroom.

These were to prove to be contentious with Old Aunty. I had knocked on her door to ask for her permission but she had gone on a trip across the causeway. She thought that they didn't soak up water well enough and wasn't very anti-slip. So I bought another.

The gay Filipino leaves thick toothpaste smudges in the wash basin which can't be washed or hosed down unless you remove the pothole. I don't like competing for the loo with his gay lover on weekends.

And Old Aunty is probably unhappy with all his many gay visitors, just as she is with the other "hetero" Filipino's female companions. He has been accused of being a playboy but I have only seen one girl so far.

This Filipino leaves his razor blade filled with hair on the wash basin's rest. I am not sure if he or Old Uncle is the one who leaves the faecal smudges. Everytime either one uses, the loo has them.

I have bought myself a bedroom LCD TV set and a laundry rack. I really do not want to hang them in the laundry area which is a small space above the air-condensing unit and the bamboo poles are grimy and dirty (like Ah Yong's) and a rusty iron netted mesh rest below it.

Imagine your washed laundry falling below and getting dirtied again. And competing with 6 other people in the household for that small space.

The bathroom door isn't closing properly (just as Ah Yong's, except that Ah Yong's is worse, the door is off its thread and you have to shut it really loud and tight).

I know from the few conversations I have had with Old Aunty, to know who she really is.

As long as I do my part and I do my own stuff in the privacy of my own room, they can live in their own worlds too.

Save for washing and bathing, will moi ever venture out.

And oh yes, the mover who shifted my stuff here was the same one I used at the hot young masseur's. Guess what? He told me "hot young masseur" actually asked him for sex.

TADA!

The Great Financial And Emotional Depression And Distress (Updated)

Move To The Rear Where You Are Rear To Rear With Another Passenger (For Standing Passengers Only)
This is what all bus commuters are urged to do. I certainly applaud this move. The whole idea is to create space for more passengers to get on board and that standing passengers are evenly spread out .

However should standing passengers be even allowed on moving buses? And I suppose the same goes for trains.

There is the whole issue of sustaining injuries or even death should the bus jerk or brake or be involved in an accident. As it is, there are no safety belts to hold a seated passenger in place, much less a standing passenger.

And that narrow aisle in a bus has enough room for only one rear, not rear to rear with another fellow commuter which makes it look like a cheap way for posterior frottage fun that in most cases of non-consent amount to sexual molestation under the Penal Code.

So passengers please remember to exercise your judgement in moving to the rear. Don't squeeze into a small space next to another passenger and poke or jab your handbags or elbows into him. And yes please try not to block the entry/exit points as much as possible

Wait, We Can't Be Sure Your Products Are As Safe As They Claim To Be Now, Can We?
For sure, China is as guilty as hell of contaminating milk with melamine to gain an economic advantage.

But why pick on China alone?

Why don't we send more food, health and beauty product samples that not only originate from the Third World but also from the First World for evaluation and analyses.

But then again since the economic superpowers hold the invention rights plus the processing technology in some of these food, health and beauty products and all those corroborative scientific literature emanates from they and they alone, how are the rest of us able to analyse, substantiate or refute their safety and efficacy as they claim?

If even their Food And Drug Administration agency has not evaluated their claims, where do we stand and what can we say? Adios? Goodbye? Good luck? Can your own people first and then get to the rest of us?

Think genetically modified food, health supplements and beauty products and you begin to get the picture.

Oo, Yes, And All Those Equipment We Use
Extend that to medical appliances and medical apparatus that are used on us humans. And oh, don't forget, all the other equipment we humans use in the course of our daily life. Mobile technology, wireless technology and so on.

What kinda harm can they do on the side? Unintended cellular damage from UV emission and the like for example.

Silent And Noiseless Technology Next?
Maybe silent hair dryers and vacuum cleaners should be invented so that noise pollution isn't so much of an intrusion into our lives?

For that matter, anything from the ear-shattering whiz of aeroplanes or fighter planes to grass-cutting blades and motors?

The US Presidential And Vice-Presidential Debates
Obama got one thing absolutely right.

We all wanna see fundamental change and reform. In the way we live, work and play. That means a complete overhaul if it must, of the whole environmental, financial, social , political and whatever system we have now running in place.

We are not remotely interested in track records or battle scars. We wanna see change and change for the better and to move forward.

Not only do I think that the US's clean energy agenda (if it suceeds) is one of the key to world stability and sustanability, I think food sufficiency and defence technology are other areas too.

Obama came across as honest, direct and straight forward, none of the bambling about past glories, skirting issues, beating around the Bush (pun intended), promoting oneself, contrived or faked theatrics and the like.

Whether his term in office will oversee real change is another issue as was the case with past presidencies.

GDP And First World Measurement Indicators
If GDP is now deemed a deficient tool in measuring standards of living, maybe a relook and redefinition of the term "First World" is much needed?

Perhaps the construction component of GDP would be better received if it were the homes we live in or the places we work and play, not some places of worships?

And again there is no need for opulence. Bright, airy places with matching color schemes. Functional, well laid out and designed. Well maintained. Most importantly clean?

If moi has his way, a home should have as many balconies as possible. One each for the bedrooms, one for the living hall , one for washing and drying your laundry and yes another for cooking and washing.

When will the designers of homes ever get it right?

The Great Financial And Emotional Depression And Distress
Not only was the financial turmoil taking a toil on moi's financial and property investments, it was also sending moi spiralling into another depression of sorts, the Great Emotional Depression .

Room rentals are not cheap and even if you try to pay more for the sake of cleanliness, hygiene and comfort, you don't really get what you pay for.

First The Surrounds - The Estate, The Community And The Neighbors
Take this estate for example. Save for the newer blocks, moi is holed up in one of the few older, un-upgraded ones. It is dirty, has a lousy choice of color that makes it look dull and run-down and mostly uncouth old folks milling around. Even the kindergarten school is closed, perhaps a sign of this "ageing" estate.

It is a rough and tough neighborhood with all the old men behaving and talking like gangsters in their respctive dialects.

I can hear the grandma next door scolding her grandson in loud, crude and coarse Hokkien dialect and she has on an occasion threatened to pull out his teeth if he plays with his saliva or to beat him up. She talks loudly and aggressively with her friends over the telephone.

This is what I mean by that older generation. Totally uncouth and crude in their dialectical ways, steeped in their old habits, living in their own old world and folklore and old wives' tales whom I will not entrust my child for grandparenting

Her visitors saunter in and out of the home all the time and late into the night. All these are within earshot of my bedroom next to her home.

Then My "Home"
The porcelain squat pan has a V-shaped crack on its dish and it must be this crack which is holding the faeces (since it can't be flushed away) that makes it stink.

The flush hole is clogged with faeces that have accumulated because Ah Yong doesn't maintain it and his previous tenants or the former owner (who is a foreigner as Ah Yong tells me) didn't. It looks blackened and dirty and can't be washed off.

This reminds moi of my previous foregn tenants who do not scrub the flush hole or the insides of the toilet bowl after they defecate. They could at least use the showerhead to power-spray (in the absence of a scrub brush) away the faecal smudges that cake the sides but they don't.

Moi has to clean up after them. For the little money or even more money, it isn't worth the while to have quarrels, unhappiness and all that kinda trouble or problems.

Moi does not apologize for the way he treats those younger tenants, especially the school-age or younger adult ones. I am old enough to be a brother or father or uncle and they deserve everything they got from me.

Then the pipes are rusting and Ah Yong (the owner) has chosen a type of kitchen and toilet floor tiles that make it look dirty with the kinda design and color.

He hangs two big greasy and grimy towels blocking the toilet's entrance and exit and everytime moi walks into this loo, his face runs smack into them. So moi has taken to push them to a far side of the pole they are are hanging on.

The table and floor rugs are dirty and filthy. My washed laundry gets soiled and dirtied from GOD KNOWS WHAT lurking on the hang-laundry potholes or from GOD-KNOWS WHERE.

You Love Dogs? But Do You Have Time For Them? Rumours Are Ah Yong Isn't Working And He Goes To Stay With His Beau In Kampong Arang
He keeps two dogs and they run free and they shit on the rugs and floor. Then when moi complains, he caged them and this cage sits in the hallway and the stink of urine and faeces littered inside and around this cage waff around.

The manner of confinement for two bigger than usual hybrid Chihuahuas in one cage is just begging for the Animals And Birds Act to have Ah Yong arrested for inflicting unnecessary pain, distress and suffering (not to mention my own emotional distress and depression) on the dogs.

They yelp and whine in their cage when he goes off.

Ah Yong loves dogs. But he is not home all the time so I cannot imagine why he wanna keep them. He hid them away when moi came viewing the room and only reveal this when I have put down a deposit.

He says he is working but I suspect and as a neighbor confirms, he isn't.

Get This Right - No Kids Or Pets At This Stage Of My Life And First And Foremost A Roof Over My Head To Stay In - Not Sex With Anyone Indiscriminately
I am at this stage of life where kids or pets do not figure. I am practically a nomad and how can I take care or love dogs or kids when I have other issues to grapple with?

You must have time, energy and be in the proper mindframe to love and take care of another being right? When you are stressed and emotionally distressed, you can't.

One major life event at a time. That I can handle.

When I pick a place to stay, it is to stay. Not sex with anyone indiscriminately in the household. I am fed up with having to move for the 14th time now.

Assumptive Assumptions
There is perhaps an assumption that I will clean up the dogs, have them for company, stay home and look after them and take them out for walks. Pure presumption!

Furthermore the Chihuahuas may not be the kinda temperament for me and so on. I pick my breed and type and temperament. At the appropriate time.

People assume that X and Y persons are best beaus for you! X and Y things are good for you. You will be happy, etc, etc

Fuck your mother-asses!

My Own System For Coping And Mine Alone
One more thing! Ah Yong is not my beau. His beau is a Malaysian PR. He can take care of the dog for him and they both can fuck each other and do whatever.

Second, I have my own system. If my beau is a cleaner, a waiter, a technician or a cook, and if moi has his own place and I love him to death (Oo, yeah, China boy, I am into you), I have a system for coping with him.

If it is my kid or my pet, I am ready to take them on and have my system to cope with. Not someone else's kid or pet or beau. Not at this time.

I can't be coping with so many people with so many different systems and all under ONE ROOF!

Do you get it?

Air-Conditioning - I Have No Choice
Windows and doors have to be shut tight here because they face out to the corridor and to a block of flats opposite looking into yours and you can imagine the ill-ventilation and stuffiness and the smell.

I sweat inside my bedroom and it is the air-conditoner for me all the time. No choice.

Yes I am usually clad in underwear or with a bath towel wrapped around my waist. So?

My bedroom is really small and stacked with cartons and my luggages and there isn't space for a stand fan anymore without compromising on my other space.

This opposite block overshadows Ah Yong's block and you can imagine the gloominess and darkness of the whole place and the lack of wind.

Ah Yong initially agrees to include utilities in the rent but when moi moves in, he wants moi to foot the rest of the bill after a certain set quantum.

I WILL KILL YOU, AH YONG!

Finally The Neighborhood - Open Prostitution
An overhead pedestrain bridge is all that separates this residential estate fronting Guillemard Road from prostitution sleaze that is Geylang Lorong 24 opposite.

In fact some of the other lorongs are no better. Don't forget that Geylang in itself is a residence. That means families and people who live there, not engage in commercial sex.

How can sleaze co-exist with residence is beyond me.

In the daytime, you see Indian customers and a slew of either Filipinas or Indonesian streetwalkers. At night you see more of them and throw in Chinese nationals and you have a hotch potch of an international community.

The street walkers spill onto the bus stops, prostituting themselves and even at the eateries. It is crowded and on weekends it gets worse. Read: obstruction, danger and compromising on safety.

And The Sheer Numbers Of Foreign Workers
The foreign workers are let off their vehicular transport along the road or they are picked up. They crowd the bus-stops at night and moi is forced out onto the road to avoid them and it is a major road artery which has high traffic.

They sit and sleep and loiter anywhere and everywhere. The benches, the bridge, the pavillions, the parks, the void decks. It doesn't help that over at Old Airport Road which backs this estate, there is the construction of the Circle Line station Dakota and the foreign workers lounge around the pavillions when they take their breaks.

Building Our Economy For Free?
The foreign workers are building our economy all right. After they remit their money back home or when their countries start to develop, they go right down to build their own home country economies.

Question is, are they building our economy for FREE? Don't they get paid a fair wage?

So?

Environmental Public Health Act? Let The Public Places Lead And The Rest Will Follow?
Moi has taken to running at a track near the National Stadium which is closed.

Before that, it was the Jalan Besar stadium and this was carpet grass with strips of different green hues that makes it look like the Wembley stadium. It was soft and easy on the feet to run on.

But the footballers chased moi away until I fought back that since I was running on its perimeter, I ain't disturbing no-one. They can continue their training session and I will do mine while looking out for their soccer ball coming my way.

The people who run at this track here are mostly from the Sports Disability Centre. Now I am fully aware of whose ward I am staying at and of what I had said in an earlier blog. Does that mean I can't be honest and blog politically incorrectly?

You should see the state of the loo here before I complained. I am sure the Environmental Public Health Act would be put to shame once I send the NEA an email, aside from a protest appeal against a conviction for cigarette butting. It is a $200 fine and moi has good reasons to back him up that this isn't fair and the Act corroborates this.

When moi finishes his runs, he walks home and he has to bypass the contruction mess of soil, mud, puddles and dodge trailers carrying cement-mixers because of the Circle line construction. He has to clean his shoes after that.

Then fringing this estate is another Circle Line station Mountbatten. There is a foreign workers' dormitory and they utilise the unused buildings there too. You should see them filing past via a side-pathway here in sheer numbers.

Distinguish Between Visitation And Living
If you are just visiting a public place or a country for days or weeks or months and the whole place reeks of bugs, stink, filth, gunk and grime, you just tolerate and put up with it.

It is like a chalet, a holiday camp, a camp, a hotel, whatever.

To actually stay in one for long-term as a resident, day in and day out, is another matter altogether.

Fuck You, Urban Planners!
This estate is an epi-centre which is centrally located and brings you to any part of Singapore quite conveniently.

The two stalls still worth patronising at the old hawker centre are the Hougang famous wanton noodles and the hokkien mee.

Over at Tanjong Katong Road, the Punggol Nasi Lemak is worth an eat too.

But look how our urban planners have MESSED IT UP!

My Other Room Hunts
A three room flat with four bedrooms (yes a utility room and another room carved out of the hallway) and in total squalor housing foreigners. The owner didn't bother and of course the nature of the work of these foreigners just stack up to contribute to the filth inside.

Exercise Keeps Me Sane And The Blues At Bay
I have no control over the financial turmoil making its way around the globe.

But I have control over my health and body. That is something I am working on.

That means wide open spaces outdoors where I can run and breathe and I can only hope to train and scuplt my body as best as I can in the gym.

It is to keep sane and the blues at bay.

None of the indoor office politicking, bitching , endless coporate games one has to play, business wheeling and dealing, networking , business development, marketing, lying, deceit and the ruthless corporate ladder to climb!

Define "Long And Excessive"
Two medical history questionaires moi filled up for dental health consultations have a stumping question.

It asked if there was excessive and long period bleeding. I could guess that it was trying to determine haemophilia but seriously, how long or excessive is long and excessive?

When moi had his four teeth extracted, they bled profusely and "long". When moi had his forefinger slammed and cut into by a swinging heavy glass door, it bled "long" and profusely too. In fact a whole bath towel was soaked in my blood.

The latter case saw a long open wound that took a week and more to heal. I am glad to pronounce my forefinger can now bend normally and I didn't see a doc for that.

So how long is long?

Swinging Between Extremes
First we were highly Westernised and Americanised in most of our ways and now we wanna swing to the other end of the spectrum to make us more Chinese.

How is that gonna impact another generation, I wonder.

It is like talking to my obviously and confirmed gay ex-college mate who now probably stewards a school. We ask for practical designs for a school uniform and he oscillates to the other end, suggesting engaging a designer for that.

You Know What, This May Just Do The Trick To Reverse A Declining Baby Population (Updated)

Desperate For More Babies? Then This Is How It Should Work
It just dawned on me how political everything here in Singapore is.

On the one hand, we have a highly politicised population (and I would like to think it is the women or just simply the UnHoly Trinity at work here and you ask, what? again?) eyeing the trillions in cash hoards we have as reserves sitting snugly in some bank vaults (I could be wrong here), waiting for every opportunity to seize and pounce on to urge the administration to spend (you old little scrooge you).

On the other, we have a rigid, unsmiling and unyielding iron-clad hand, the hand of Mungo Sungo godzilla dressed in transformable transformer outfit.

What we need is to find a weak spot and KABOOM, the titanium armor is thrashed forever!

Let Moi Articulate For Both Family Men And Women Their Inalienable Familial Rights
Women, you are in luck. Moi is gonna write on your behalf and by the next budget announcement, you are gonna be all smiles and in good spirits and hopefully pregnant?

Here goes:

What About Stay Home Mothers And Fathers?
I haven't really studied what the incentives are for working mothers. I assume they are sufficient and with the current slew of new measures, I presume it is gonna be LAGI BAGUS for working mothers?

However I feel that those who choose to stay home and give up their careers, should be handed out an annual allowance that is two-thirds of their annual income (or if there is no annual income, a certain quantum amount that qualifies them for a GOLD card -HIP HIP HOORAY) up to a certain nth year (let's say 24 years for each child respectively? - WHOA, far out, imagine the years just pile on top of one another and drag on).

You can't expect stay-home mothers (or fathers) to be sowing a brood of kids and not be paid a single cent, do you? Why you little scroogy-faced screw-up! No wonder we are seeing a decline in the fertility rate!

At any time, these mothers (or fathers) can choose to go back to their careers of course.

What is gonna be LAGI BEST is that no colleagues should be shouldering these duties. A new recruit (some freshie from the university or poly or even lower down) gets paid two-thirds what these women (or men) were earning.

What About Singles - The UnMarried Who Choose To Adopt Kids, The Divorced, The Separated And The Widowed?
Now extend these to singles - men or women who choose to adopt children, the widowed and the divorced.

Look, equality of sexes means just that. Equality.

So if the man chooses to stay home and the woman wanna build a career, he can't be denied these benefits now can he? Every single one of the categories above is entitled to equality and the aforesaid mentioned benefits.

Throw in a grandparents' grant! Maybe we can all do away with those loud, chattering, rumor-mongering foreign domestic maids (oops oxymoronic again) once and for all!

We Always Pay And Pay, So Now For A Change, It Is Free And Free
Better still, make education from infant-care, childcare to nursery to kindergarten to primary and secondary to vocational schools and to poly and university FREE!

Provide FREE nappies and safety pins, free infant formula milk, free baby cots, free baby toys, free baby prams and strollers, free baby socks, free baby clothes and free baby deliveries at baby hospitals and free O&G consultation fees

And then when the child grows, add : free textbooks, free educational material and toys, writing tools and materials, FREE school bags, INTERNET, FREE school buses and travel on public buses, uniforms, shoes, socks, underwear, laptops, mobile phones, S&M toys (oops, that was unintended), condoms (Whoa, dementia here) , CCA participation and FREE food!

Oo, don't forget FREE housing! And above all FREE TIME!!!!

And if we go even further back in time, there are those pre and post-babies making days to consider, so add: Free maternity dresses, free sanitary napkins (????), free corsets, free confinement period massages, free medication for STDs, free post-sex check-ups.

(If there is something else moi is forgetting here, let moi know)

And If You Are Really LAGI Serious About Pro-Creation, Then Pro-Creation Can Only Begin With A Marriage First Right?
Therefore, FREE wedding dinners and gowns and suits, Free limousine cars, free wedding photography and honeymoon holidays, Free religious rituals.

Oops, in argueing for the inalienable rights of families, has moi actually also itemised all the pre-marriage, post-mariage and pre and post babies' making costs?

And in so doing, doesn't one logically follows the other in making the environment more conducive for making babies and creating families? It is all about MONEY after all, isn't it?

In fact essential pre-requisites like housing for instance?

And Then, Dating (OO Maybe Even Pre-Marital Sex?) Pre-Dates Marriages Right?
Hence, FREE dating services, Free Condoms (?), Free contraception pills (?), FREE hotel bookings, FREE rooms and FREE pornography.

Guiness World Record For Most Freebies Handed Out To Pro-Families Creation?
That way, Singapore's babies will go back to its 1966 level where we once had the busiest baby-making machine entry in the Guiness World Of Record that year.

ONE BIG MASSIVE BABY BOOM! ONE HUMONGOUS FREE WORLD! FREE! FREE! FREE!

*Smiles*

Women, now can you let moi go in peace? Have his little place, a nice hot hunky beau, maybe adopt a kid and drag him through the mud of a system that it is here?

P.S. I hope the administration doesn't go for broke though but doesn't look too likely with the kinda wealth they have amassed over the years, so PRESS ON PEOPLE.

Release Me (Updated)

Moi Is Emotionally Spent And Needs A Shoulder To Cry On (Not Yours Nigel)
Moi will try to say very little in future on his blogs. If he does not, there will be just too many issues out there to grapple with, rebutt and write on. And guess what? He doesn't even get paid a penny for doing this. So what happened to the think-tankers and their ilks who are supposed to do the job?

Anyway, I just realised many truths have dawned upon moi while blogging.

I am sorry if the truth spoken has hurt anyone. It is all part and parcel of the process. We can deny it, we can have people deny it to us but the truth is the truth. Think about it and stop kidding ourselves.

You will excuse moi for being candid and frank and blunt. I don't mean any harm. I just speak what I feel and what I observe and what I experience and what I have a gut feel for what is true.
After all moi is just a hopeless, useless, homeless nomad, lonely, beauless (yes, on a room hunt moi spotted a hot hunk and hopes he bunks with him) and emotionally exhausted and drained.

But he can still have sex though........

I got the blues recently for whatever reason (maybe after a couple of months' medical leave and now that he can't run in the sun, he is even bluer and no hot hunks to catch, yes he is moving house again and the hot wimp is giving him trouble too)

Pointless Other Than To Be Heard And Seen - All Talk And No Action
I am glad political space is opening up and I really wanna think that this premiership is sincerely genuine about opening up.

However it is pointless we have debates, discussions, the Speakers' Corner and the like if what it all boils down to is mere talk and no change especially when we know the change is to correct wrong and to improve things.

And let us start by looking at all the policies in place. Ridiculous ones. Archaic ones. Inconsistent ones. Ambiguous ones. Stifling ones. Entrapment ones. Discriminatory ones. No brainer ones. Non-constituted ones.

Period.

Increase In Contribution Rate To MBMF
Anyway just a couple of words here and there following the NDR speech. First, contribution rate is gonna increase for the Mosque Building And Mendaki Fund and at a time like now, I can't be sure how the Malay community is going to take to it.

It has been suggested that old mosques be upgraded using part of this fund and again I am not sure what the Malay community leaders are gonna make of this.

GDP - Another Superficial Performance Mesurement
We all know that GDP measures the total value of finished goods and services produced in a country. I am sure it takes into account works-in-progress as part of its valuation like in all accounting procedures.

However we know that the GDP isn't really a good pointer towards a high standard of living. For example, as is the case with us, construction figures quite significantly in our GDP indicator. But how is that benefitting citizens if the boom is the likes of our IR projects?

It doesn't measure externalities nor does it impact directly the real living standards of people.

We begin to wonder if our high ranking in terms of GDP is thus just another statistical indicator for the world to admire us as having arrived and being up there among the developed nations.

In other words, image but not living proof of real benefits to the citizenry.

I say to hell with such figures and let us get down to really what benefits the people.

Making Babies For Singapore - Why Are Singles Precluded?
I totally switched off during the "Making Babies" segment of the NDR speech. Being gay, this was the most BORING part about hetero dating and marriages. When the population policy announcements came out later, I thought it had many generous handouts, monetarily speaking and yes some the extension of maternity leave must be most welcomed.

Certainly the paternity leave extension was also more generous than the 3 days given out previously but could it be more?.

And to extend nappy changing to the schools' home economics classes is just too much. I think the women are already dominating far too much everywhere so much so that the men are beaten down submissive and meek and shouldering what once were women's duties.

What about extending benefits to singles to adopt children. After all, gay singles like me like kids (the boys only), but of course minus the women for wives.

And I think I know what the women want. Maybe they want some cash handouts for every year they stay home to look after their children (thus giving up their careers) up to a certain nth year.
But I suppose it is the time you wanna spent with your kids that counts most. The formative years to bond, to learn, to play with and to teach your kids.

And moi has to think if he wanna drag a kid through the system here. He may not survive it. And the cost and no he doesn't wanna throw him to some infant or child-care or even to a grandparent, much less a foreign domestic helper.

So look women, I have spoken for you. Now you do the same for us gays. Women's Charter. Gay marriages. Adopt kids. Extend paternity leave, paternity benefits, cash, whatever to us too.

More Higher Qualifications Does Nothing - Can We Informalise Training Instead?
Again we equate quality infant and childcare services with higher qualifications, meaning certification when all it needs is to up their communication skills, their English language standard and sharing some tips and experiences to best manage and teach kids.

No need to formalise training like that. On the job, the teachers can self-learn, research and so on. No need for more stress.

It Is The Whole Environment Thingy Or Is It?
I believe things shouldn't be hot-housed or stressed or pressured too much. Like a sports school. Some athletes need loving, caring and nurturing. Some need a bit of scolding or pressure once in a while. Different people, different strokes.

Above all, a conducive environment, natural progression, genuine interest and concern, passion , encouragement and so on.

For example, a new men's club has opened. It is new, swanky and classy. But somehow it misses what the clubs in Seoul and Taipei have that make them a more happening cruising ground. And I have highlighted this to the staff.

Another example, a teacher at a child-care centre while doing a routine of skip-roping with her charges was foucussed so much on skills that I notice the boys were just so afraid to try. But it could be that they are JUST LIKE THAT.

I know it will be very hard to milk Olympics medals out of our local athletes.

Maybe it is just our DNA? Maybe it is just the system? (Too much stress and hothousing, too scientifically systematic, too much focus on skills to the point that one is afraid to try and experiment and experience) .Maybe it is just Singapore Inc at work. Maybe it is the small pool of talent. Just maybe. But we can just guess at the real culprits here.

But we should still try (and change the system once we found out what is the real bug of the issue) and hopefully one day we will truly win true-blue Singaporean Olympics medals.

Improving Social Graces
I love this part best and totally concur with it. But perhaps certain targets were targetted wrongly.

Think speaking and talking too loudly. Taking the public transport or patronising air-conditioned food courts in dirty muddied work clothes and shoes.

ERP
We can all see how this is geared towards car usage but to encourage car ownership only to then discourage its usage (peak, off-peak, doesn't matter, ERP operates at different rates throughout the day anyway)seems like buying someone an ice-cream but to tell him to hold on to it and not lick it, in the meantime watching it melt away.

Yet I don't see free-flowing traffic. That means that someone is still licking away at that ice-cream anyway. So maybe we shouldn't have bought him an ice-cream in the first place?

Every morning moi takes the bus just before peak hours and during and it is stuck in traffic on the PIE and CTE.

Reservists, Home-Ownership And Other Issues
I guess that however a family agrees to own or co-own a flat is just their business. Especially for singles.

If Singaporeans are jealous, maybe they should take a real good look at how the foreigners are coming in by the numbers and they pose a more serious threat. Good for you Singaporeans, you deserve it!

After all, a home is for living, so why don't they punish those who partition their flats up (out of store-rooms even) creating extra rooms to rent out to umpteen number of foreigners? Your neighborhood is now over-run by them!

Assuming 30 days of annual incamp training and 20 years down the road, that makes about 2 years of one's time.

Moi is nomadic for 2 and a half years. We are on par?

Suffering and struggling and what non-sense to distinguish Singaporeans and Singapore citizens. Masochistic indeed and universal suffrage is not for moi when moi did not vote for the system.

Every Singaporean should know better how the system works here which isn't conducive for a family structure and the education system is still not getting it right. Cost is high and certain policies are just plain downright ridiculous. Does that explain why one's heart is not here?

So if a person has work here, of course he spends all his time here. Question is, is he even happy or performing meaningful work? I bet you a million dollars, he isn't. A mere money collector every month, possibly megabucks too, doing senseless work.

We don't have a job because it got snatched from us and it is senseless work anyway and usually cheap labor can perform the job.

I bet you some Singaporeans (yes foreigners too) are sitting on their butts, smoking, cafeing during breaks and outside breaks (one break too many?), enjoying sumptuous meals, surfing porn, watching the clock, politicking, performing meaningless work , goofing off, fawning but at the same time, collecting a tidy sum of money every month!

Oh, don't forget, owning cars and contributing to the traffic congestion!

You call that suffering?

Wimpy Wimp
I was pissed the last few months when people drop by to view the place with the intention to buy. At first I was informed but later this dwindled to zero. So I was asleep, half naked, on the way to shower and so on, totally unprepared. Totally disturbing.

Then when moi puts his washing level to high mode, water leaks. Wimp pronounces too much water. No normal washer would do that. Unless it isn't working or the tap leaks.

The last couple of times because he was annoyed,while moi hangs his laundry inside because of the rain, he cooks and I know some of moi's clothes reeks of oil. And he is home all the time!

He isn't happy with visitors though he has agreed to it initially and he knows I am unattached. What about the sex he has with his "clients", coming in and out on a daily basis on the pretext of a massage and more than one per day usually.

And we are all gays! What is the problem!

Totally evil! You will have your just desserts and I won't say a thing.

Please, Release Me, Let Me Go (Lyrics Of Song By Engelbert Humperdinck)
I am just very tired. I just wanna go home. To my own place, maybe with a beau. I am not in the mood to play some more political games at home with fellow tenants or landlords. I just want to be myself, have my peace, my quiet, my non-political moments.

Live my home life my way.

Only to be with my loved ones.

Period.

Breezing Past The Election GoalPost (Updated)

Lightning Breeze And Walkovers
Let moi light the path for you to see how easy it is for the forever incumbent incumbents to breeze through an election. Think of this as Li Ning sauntering in the air amid a backdrop of an unfurling scroll on his way to light up the Olympic cauldron.

All it needs is a wide smile (yes photogenity helps), buy a sure-win ticket with the dominating dominant, no need to contest elections (yes, walkovers, what else and I suppose they equate walkovers with walking all over us poor people) while our poor, poor, poor opposition has to slog like mad, sit pretty in office, ensconed on a throne and dispense authority, beatification and parrot cockatoos.

If the opposition has been accused of AWOL, we have read how incumbent incumbents have used their time in office to go on Sabbaticals, further their own personal causes and have others sit in during their out-station periods, sometimes for perpetuity?

I am sure some of us dislike the kind of representatives thrust upon us in our wards without us ever having elected them to office in the first place. Truly non-representational. Because we don't even know what ideological platforms they are standing on (usually none save parroting cockatoos) and the kinda pomp and almightiness that sometimes accompany them.

There you have it! Need I say more?

Victory Ceremony And Speech By Singapore's Olympian Gold Medallist For Table Tennis
All inner thoughts and outward actions of Olympian are scripted in italic red and enscribed within braces.

"Today is a momentous day for us all," wipes off tears and blows into handkerchief while trying to stifle a sniffle or two.

"I cannot even begin to tell you how happy (hey, I am happier myself, 1.5 million, what do you think) I am at winning this Olympic gold for you. This is for you Singapore! (sniggers) You deserve this gold medal (laughs hysterically). You are the reason I train for years (after 48 years, siao liao la), breaking my back as a result (as if to prove a point, lets off moan amid crackling sound of spinal joints and puts hand to back) and yes even to the breaking point of losing my boyfriend (so much for work-life balance and at this juncture, takes out boyfriend's photo, karate chops it and tears it to bits..you moron) . It is all about you Singapore! (as if....lan jiao huey). You are the people who are the true Olympian winners! (sniggers again). Once again, thank you for this moment, this victorious moment is all yours!!" (laughs wildy hysterical yet again)

Stands back, kisses the gold medal and lifts it up in the air and waves.

At this, the crowd went absolutely mad and wild. The Kallang Roar and The Wave took hold and some spectators went into orgies. An old woman keeled over. One student in the crowd even went, "Overjoyed! Overjoyed! I am overjoyed!" (...fool....did your grandmother just win the Olympics? Or is it your grandfather?)

Post Victory Ceremony And Speech
Eyes lighting up and real tears welling up with real joy this time.

"At last, all this money! Fools..........Do you think I am gonna stay here for long. I am leaving on a jetplane bound for China (they are the true world Olympians, no?). What in the world am I gonna do with all this money? Let me think, I know, a new house back home, some investments in stocks and shares and a brand new Mercs don't sound too bad!"

"You know what! You people are just so stoopid! If you have too much cash on hand, you can always throw it away somewhere else......like maybe on a training school for the para-olympics? (laughs hysterically, as if to mock us for our lack of olympic capabilities) Why this? I don't understand you..."

"Anyway, good for you. I have my hands full as it is and I am gonna call my mother right now!"

Turns away flashing large wads of cash in her hands. Our cash.

Oo There You Have It Folks
Yesterday morning, moi walks into that same community complex loo and two char-servants walked right in after that to clean out the place. They were colleagues of the Malay uncle. I have seen the manservant before and he usually trails moi too, right into the toilet.

Today nobody was around and the inspection card was a blank.

And it is quite certain that most of the malls' loos are in the state they are not because of the visiting public but because of the foreign workers who work there in the F&B, retail trades and the delivery people who visit. The packers, the workers taking breaks and so on.

Singapore Inc At Work Again, Chipping Away At The Very Foundation Of Families
Now that grandma probably is right.

If Singaporeans are to throw money to some foreign domestic helpers, they might as well throw money to have their parents look after their children instead. So a grandparents' grant is helpful.

I still opine that the system here does not support a family structure. You can put in as many monetary incentives and bonuses or build as many infant or child-care centres but that simply is counter-real-familial relationship and culture.

People want real time to spend with their kids, look after them, bond, build relationships and nurture the next generation.

That is just so MIA.

You Little Devil You.......
First it was $150 for the first whole month and he wants moi to pay $50 when moi only moved in for half a month. Then the second month it was $70 for a whole $200 odd split among the three of us and for the third month, I demanded to see the bill but hey, he ain't showing it.

Now I have two discolored shorts and someone could have put in bleaching detergents into the washer while they were being washed like he did changing my washing cycle time.

You take the cake, masseur boy!

Singapore's 2nd Olympics History In The Making (Updated)

2nd Olympics History For Singapore In The Making After 48 Years
Yes, we are jubilant all right about the woman paddlers' team making it to the finals and assuring ourselves of at least a silver. After a drought of 48 years. It turned into a 3 and a half hour epic battle between South Korea and Singapore that spun 5 rounds.

As I have mentioned before the South Koreans have been very consistent throughout the 20 years of Olympic games beginning with the Seoul Olympics 1988 till now.

And the woman's paddlers team proved this. The last face-off between the two was a dimunitive, frail and anxious-looking S Korean versus a bigger Chinese Singapore. But look at how she defended herself and delivered the punches. It was a marginal loss after all.

I am not sure if it was just prolonged for good dramatic and political reasons just to let the rest of Singapore see how "deserving" the foreign talent are in being rewarded with the huge sums of money involved.

Yes people, the Olympics 3000 years ago must be a far cry from the kinda politics, money and doping that taint the games today. Not least that it now includes GALLS!!!!!

P.S1: I forgot to mention that Taiwan has also been up there in the medal tally all past 20 years of the Olympics. Another Asian tiger or dragon right up there with the rest of the Asian juggernauts!

P.S2:Was some parliamentarian waving our Singapore flag in the background during the paddlers' sporting event? Because if she was, guess what, we all know who she is, don't we?

For Fame, Glory Or Money?
Tao Li was commendable and she speaks a lot like us too.

But JiaWei and the rest of the table-tennis team sound too much like the Chinese. I am sure we all feel a certain disconnect here. If I were cheering the team on (which I did) I might as well be cheering for the Chinese (which I am in certain events, like badminton).

Those tears of joy must be in part for the $750 000 or $1.5 million prize money dangled before the Olympics sports team. So was it for national glory or was it for personal pecuniary interest? Do other countries do the same and did it yield the same kinda results even without the money?

It also seems like we have budgeted that kinda sum of money to be given away in a one-off (a fluke as it is) thingy to break a very long dry spell just to make us look good for a moment.

There you have it people! Be an Olympian gold medallist and you stand to be among the 77000 elite Singaporeans here! Whoopee Dong Mungo Sungo! What can I say except maybe "Whoopee Dong Mungo Sungo" again?

Norway, Israel, Thailand And Indonesia versus Singapore Inc - Who Wins?
Big questions now to ask are:
(1) Will we be nurturing more of our kind instead of foreign ones?

(2)Is it gonna be money again, sports run like Singapore Inc and is this effective? Hasn't this proven not to be?

(3)What about Norway with the same kinda population numbers as we but has way stronger showing on the medal tallies consistently?

(4)What of Israel, a war-torn country with a slightly larger population base of over 7 million but who has been consistent in its Olympics quest or

(5)Thailand and Indonesia, much less resourced countries?

(6) Lastly will this be a one-off thingy passed off as a fluke even or will we be more seriously consistent in our Olympics showing perhaps with less of a monetary incentive that is the true Olympian spirit?

Men's Individual Artistic Gymnastics Event
I was focussed on the handle bar part. The two Japs were hot and I thought performed supremely well but not well enough to earn a gold. So did one of the S Koreans and he was hot too. Both Japs came in 2nd and 4th respectively while that cute Korean made it to 8th position.

More Evidence Of Foreign WrongDoing
I met a Malaysian PR who runs a renovation contracting company a few years back. We all know for a fact that the workers are usually Malaysian too. I can't be sure if FatBloke was one of them, married as he is to a China woman now.

But what we do know are that shoddy work, disappearing acts and the like are just the normal order of the day.

Can you imagine that Malaysian who runs the massage, escort cum sex service actually sits around and is free most of the time. Who knows what other shady deals he does on the sides beside this?

Break With Educational Tradition
I applaud new talk on educational rebalancing now going on....and a few big questions to ask and risks we care to take if we really wanna rehaul and ramp up the educational ladder.

Can we break with educational tradition and rewrite the curriculum so that more relevance and practicality are written into the syllabi topics that we study?

Essay topics asked are more of the factual, discussive, reflective and argumentative sorts that centre on more personal, closer to the heart, real and life-encountering issues rather than remoter types like writing on the UN for example.

Analyses of policies that impact lives are one area too.

You ask the Australians or the Canadians if they are acquainted with our GCE kinda exams and they laugh into your face, knowing nothing about it and claiming theirs to be more superior - so where is that international acclaim save coming from our top?

I agree values have to be learnt from experience and observation and some kinda formal lesson helps only to a certain extent, maybe more to reflect on events that happened, consolidate thinking, offer change and conclusions and finally to put this down on paper?

Yawn! You Deserve This, Not Me!
I am only too keenly aware of what some kawans were appearing to show me in my presence.

Look, it is your organs and your life we are talking about. If you don't even treasure that more than money, I have nothing to say. I feel sorrier that your leaders have shown their true colors when they were recently interviewed. Mere parrots and mouthpieces.

Remember, I don't deserve this. YOU DO! Maybe Singapore deserves whatever they are getting. Not moi again!

And it isn't universal suffrage, because I didn't vote to suffer with you! Remember this good and well.

Once again : Ampun Tuanku! Terima kasih! Bodoh!

Jurong GRC By-Election - Can We Have One Please Mr President?
It seems that a by-election should be held in Jurong GRC under the Parliamentary Acts.

Moi has read one part of the Act which says "Not necessary unless whole team vacates" but a Forum reader has read another part that says "President specifies that a group representation constituency is for X numbers so if X numbers is short of one or more, President has powers to serve writ of elections" .

So it really depends on which part of the Act you are reading and how unambiguously one is tied to the other and how they can be interpreted separately or together.

So if we should, why aren't we?

What About GST?
Oo, don't forget that in addition to a largely local patronage of foreign-based and naturalised-owned corporations, we pay GST too. Whoa! Double whammy!

Hot Little Devilish Wimp
This hot young masseur is so hot, he even enters moi's room when he is out and has locked his room up. On the pretext of moping and vacumming moi's room. I hope he doesn't sleep in it or allow his clients of all ages from the young to the very old, different nationalities (locals and ang-mohs) and sizes (normal to the very big) to lounge in it either.

Like FatBloke does.

And the five or more 1 litre bottles of "Lander" mouthwashes he stores in the wall-mounted cabinet by the vanity basin is just reminiscient of the mouthwashes the men's clubs stock up on.

Twice moi's laundry has seen his shorts and berms color-stained even though moi has not used bleaching agents or whitening agents, just normal wash detergents.

It has never happened before save for that sole occasion at Bishan when moi puts his orange towel (which color runs) in to wash with his red-striped (color runs too) white shorts.

Moi grows suspicious!

Human Organ Transplant Act 2/2008 (Amendment)
The part on "when death occurs" (repealed by Act 22 of 1998) has not defined how death is classified and this is a serious omission as we don't get to see the Amendment.

Similary for the part "except Muslims" (deleted by Act 2/2008 wef 01.08.2008).

We should clamour to see the amendments in its entirety to compare what goes before and after and to be fully cognisant of the changes.

Otherwise amendments are just slipped in and in the cases of deletions, we don't really know what has been deleted.