Back To Civilisation

Racism rages Down Under. But when I examined the photographs, they look "enacted". As it is with many world events, contrived and politically staged for political ends. In this age of technological advances, nothing is impossible. All we need is an international collusion. After all, paper money on its own is worthless. It is the universal value we attach to it that makes it what it is.

I recalled this petite, doe-eyed and dimpled face sergeant in the administrative sector of the Defence Ministry where I worked. She, and a NSF hunk, were the toast of the unit, a smooching couple who hugged and slow-danced to the music of George Michael's "Careless Whisper" during anniversary dinner and dance.

It was a real blinking eye-sore to see this pair of lovey-dovey, coupling love-birds making out anywhere and everywhere. Sometimes I just wished they would stop. Not that I am green with envy but it is just that there are appropriate times and places to indulge in blatant tasteless displays of affection. She thinks she can charm and buy the world with her beauty.

Which again is the recurring theme in many a movie. King Kong was the same. Beast fell in love with gall, gets captured and dies for her unrequited love. What a stupid thing! That movie was Titanic and Jurassic Park rolled into one. The moral here is never to transplant an animal from its original homeland to a foreign one and to leave nature be.

I am not trying to throw a spanner in anyone's dreams of marriage. But seriously, do we ever think we can save enough for anything anymore. Given the "stipend" we are paid sometimes, all that goes down the drain in expenditure most of the time.

Expenditure which is necessary in the first place because they are necessities. I can imagine a life without a conventional notion of a "spouse" but I can't imagine life without an "adopted kid" (singles can adopt, fulfilling some "requirements" of course) or a trusted and beloved "Special One". I am not going to start any SME soon with any woman, even if it means going it alone or having one as a staff member only.

If reports of marriages in trouble are any indication, marriage seems to be no more than two people who had a BIG BANG (in wedding dinner and honeymoon terms not in the bridal chamber, what were you seriously thinking?) and then go on to lead almost separate lives under the guise of respecting each other's sacred time away from one another.

Today's report on a Boon Lay teacher filming under the skirts of women must surely represent the apogee of a tattered marriage hidden behind the cloak of a smoke screen of a happy one, a nascent one at that with a first child on the way in four months' time. His credits boast being a respected educator , church member and loving husband.

M/s Cindy Crawford (aka the Kept One) and Lao Tiko (aka as the old, white-haired, rich Indonesian bastard of a "doctor" - his medical credentials have to be verified on international par and not on the qualifications he obtained in his native land) made me sell not beauty and cosmetic products but such an appallingly diverse anatomically sex-linked products like proctoscopes, vaginal specula, breasts implants and vacuum pumps.

She would regale me with tales of her diet with pork (she is a Moslem apparently) and how she had her sutures unstitched (not sure if this was the hysterectomy she had, due to many reasons, one of which could be the formation of fibroids because of hormonal therapy as a contraceptive device and she does fall under the age-group for this or she had her hymen reconstructed for the sexual pleasure of the lecherous doctor). She loves brushing her nether parts against me under the pretext of passing by me while I am standing or photocopying. Oo! Frottage fun!

"Back to Gaya" actually had a anthropo-philosophical undertone. Concepts like "free will", Descartes' "Cogito ergo sum" and Neanderthals as the snurks. The heroine was a butt-kicking one too. There were eschatological aspects too laced with Armageddon as burning lava erupting forth to bury the villain in the end. It looked too much like a playscript I wrote once upon a time.

By the way, Descartes was schooled in mathematics by the Jesuit friars in the monastery and it is no surprise he became an overwhelmingly zealous proponent for the existence of "God". "Back to Gaya" was really educational at the high-end which I don't think a very young audience can grasp.

A visit to the dentist threw up some light moments. He was concerned about the frequency of my visits and the generally bad condition of my teeth ( I have fangs, a sunken tooth and my teeth are crowded together). As I thought aloud, he got the hint that if he decreases the price, I will increase my number of visits. Dental treatment is getting more expensive these days.

I should have worn braces a long time ago. With age, the crevices are beginning to harbour scraps of food ripe for bacteria to live in. He was right there. But we were not as informed back then and I did not feel the need to go for aesthetics dentistry. There goes our favourite thinking that if national dental health-care is free, people would abuse it at every opportune moment.

I didn't know I was sticking out my tongue most of the time I was in the chair. He was afraid he would brush my tongue rather than my teeth. He even went as far as praising my good genes for the general good shape of my teeth. That was funny and I laughed heartily.

To parody a civil servant I encountered recently. She wrote to say that she was "appalled" by the tone of my reply in my electronic mail. Well, get this BITCH! When you write something which I know is some "regurgitated vomit", so standardised everyone mouths it as a cultural norm, be ready for a swift bite of my pen.

She was going on about "deferred gratification" as if she, as a model educator, has shown any herself. Let her be the first to do without her car and then she has the right to talk about "deferred" gratification. BLOODY INTELLECTUAL BITCH!

A group of foreign wussies ,dressed scantily, scrambled up the bus and rushed for seats like devils may care. It was reminiscent of Shanghai. The young couples would dash into the trains, plonk themselves on the seats and be completely immersed in themselves, oblivious to other elderly and needy commuters.

This has served to remind me time and again that we have nothing going for us here except as a retail commercial hub. No wonder people here are ugly, in their manners, behaviour, speech and thinking , though they may look marvellously well-dressed, groomed and cosmetically-altered good-looking.

That is all that is left of you Singapore. NOTHING.