Alter-Egos

At one point in my mundane existentialism, I actually wanted to visit our interior authorities armed with either a deed poll or religious certificate, to change into my alter-ego - aka Philip James Bond 007. If my matinee idol, Takeshi Kaneshiro, could, and he was once upon a time Anikin Jin, why couldn't I?

I imagined myself as the suave and swashbuckling debonair engulfed by a web of deceit, espionage, sex, CDRWs , DVDs, N90 camphones and lies. I would be surrounded by a troop of hunky dories from professions unthinkably linked to the money-laundered world of under-table, less than above-board scams - the stunningly visual international fashion vista, the high-flying corporate raider, the filibustering politician and the Mafia Boss.

We would have sex in the woody reserve, in the heat of the Swedish hotbaths, up in the air in the comfort of the pilot's cabin, on the carseat at a drive-in, crouched on the window ledge of my apartment and doggy-style in the dog's kennel.

I would perforce be hunting down clues and criminals with cues from my bevy of hunks. They would be damsels in distress or Templar Knights at various junctures of our adventurous and heroic exploits.

But one running defining trait would be that they would all end up in bed with me and we would, at some point, walk off into the sun-set, arm in arm or hand on crotch, fully clothed, topless, bottomless or naturistic.

It isn't like I am doing a RL Stevenson's Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. We are afterall "masks in disguise", living life on the life's dramatic stage we call "humankind".

It crosses my mind sometimes how I would have turned out being a prosecutor for crimes against the state. The following is an imaginary scenario where I am furiously grilling a defendant for his part in a major corporate scam.

Public Prosecutor: "You left the books to your second-in-command when you are the John Hancock of the company, didn't you?"

Corporate Fraud CEO: " Well, that in no way falls within my ambit of corporate due dilligence ..."

Public Prosecutor: "Just answer the question Mr Guilty-As-Hell-Defendant, did you or did you not leave the books to cook to your acolyte after explicit instructions?"

Corporate Fraud CEO: "Well but...but.... I..I....I......"

Public Prosecutor: " No buts Mr Guilty-As-Hell-Defendant. That's it. By stammering your response, you are only confessing your guilt. Your Prosecuting, As-Good-As-Ensconced-On-The-Throne, Excellency, the Judge. I move that he be interned for life pending death row only to be lethally injected and fried . Case closed. And another sentence well executed"

Ah... the wonderful mind....see how it can imagine a life that never was...