Besides being in a foul mood, I am also devastated at all that I have lost.
My counsellor (well, actually he isn't but his visit that day was timely) confided in me that his businessman father lost like tens of thousands at most in any financial venture.
And again come to think of it, like my close China friend who stood by me when I broke up with my ex-roomie, he proved to be a source of solace and confidance.
On the other hand, Alvin proved otherwise. Like my ex-roomie. Smiling and seeming happy at my misfortune. And saying a few stupid things. Much like Henry in class the last time. Imagine smiling and looking happy while doing grief , death and suicide counselling.
Here I am, an ordinary folk, an innocent by-stander, someone who was just trying to make a tidy sum to secure a future home, finance a higher education for a better-paying job and maybe fuel a personal business, lost 3-4 times a 6-digit sum.
Given my age, my education background and current health, I don't think I can make a come-back anymore.
I Can Only Pin My Hope Here But Can It Go As Far And Fast As I Want It To? (Ideally 1600 to 2 000x Return?)
These are my aspirations. I have always harbored them but didn't wanna get my hopes too high until there is enough hard cash and then I dream about it.
As I said, I am not young and I do get tired these days plagued with vision problems and body aches and since I moved out of my home, persistent cough and flu. No point earning the money or getting what you want when you will drop dead the next day.
I am just keeping myself in my room, moping.
All I want is a simple life : a place of my own, my beau, my job or personal business and enough retirement money. FUCK YOU!
Rain Cusses On You
I really wanna fuck all those billionaires, financial gurus and whoever else that make this happen. That include my real estate agent representative. Even if they had lost billions, they would still have millions left. Enough to see them through.
My real estate rep and her company must be delighting in being able to re-sell the property again and at no loss to them.
May she and her company and their descendants and whoever else involved in what I perceive to be a financial 'scam' to grab at innocent investors' monies, be cursed with some debilitating health concerns some time in their life.
The companies will go broke and they be buried in a mountain of debts.
And before you go build that next mega-place of worship, ask the God first. Did he/she wants it in the first place.
I am pretty sure my cusses work magic like they always have.
I Have Been Trying All These Years But I Am Just Not Wicked, Vindictive, Politically Savvy , Connivng And Shrewd Enough To Outmaneovure The Fiends, Fiends With Axes To Grind (Like Most Of The People I Have Met)
It is not that I have not tried my hands on everything I could before and after the episode.
As I said, I am just someone trying to eke out a living to make ends meet, buy back my own abode, finance a higher education, get a better-paying job and maybe start a personal business later in life. But not too long.
All that is gone. Especially that roof over my head.
I was an entrepreneur before knocking on doors. From schools to schools, from companies to companies, from government agency to government agency.
What did they do? Nothing except incendiaries or the occasional project which rarely happens. Or they kick you from pillar to post, mis-inform you, steal your ideas and implement them as their own. This is totally unforgivable.
Worse they try to extract money from you instead, leaving you even broker.
At work, a job is just a job. I just do my work and it seems that bosses and colleagues have other ideas. Political games, charades, psychodramatics, Hollywood acting skills, etc.
Fuck them!
I will never forget those fuckers! The employers I worked for, the bitch-whores, the gossiping, maligning colleagues, the unproductive but politicking colleagues, the psychopathic bosses, the mis-information, those fat, well-fed civil servants, THE BLOODY FUCKERS!
I resolve I will have my day of vengeance and extract my revenge on them all.
FUCK YOU MOTHER BASTARDS!
Fiends With Axes To Grind
That is the whole point.
I have been frugal and thrifty when I was young. I save and I invest. These have come in useful when I need money for one thing or the other.
It is only in the last three years that I had to sell off my home and before that my car, that I started buying some clothes here and there and so on.
I have also never known about saunas until this time. And I never hankered for them. Or massages because I had a massage chair at home (which does the job well and it can be daily, unlike humans).
A victim of all those politicking bitch-whores (marriage problems, jealousy, etc), old farts and wimps. Gossip-mongering, maligning and so on. FUCK YOU!
So I played with hard cash, not loans. Who wanna be caught with a bad loan? And be made bankrupt!
Your Destiny Is Also Mine
Like the little CPF money of mine pledged to the Children's Cancer Foundation, the little kiddos' fortunes will be tied to my personal fortunes.
If even just ONLY one of the terminally ill leaukimic kid can survive and go on to thrive in the midst of all the nay-sayers, so will I.
$ob $ob $ob
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