Let's See Where This All Ends

I Am Now You
First There Is Hair Care
Yes, I have undergone and am undergoing a complete transformation and hopefully an equally complete transfiguration.


It all started with my hair of course. The durian spikes that is so popular here just do not suit moi's wavy, fine and limp hair. And I can't sustain it well enough for it to be as cute and nice a hairdo as it does for most of our hot Singapore bois here anyway.


Instead moi has opted for a woman's swept up or across the brow kinda look. And yes, my hair, together with Liz, the maid, is adding to the clog-up of the drain-holes. But isn't it such a wonderful feeling that you are doing back to what a gall always does to you?

Now there is a haircut I would wanna try out but I think it will have to wait untill moi is successfully enrolled for university. And I still think we can do with more skills in slicing up more hairstyles here like in Japan or Korea.

It isn't untrue that with a daily routine of a shampoo and moisturiser wash that moi's hair is no longer the dull, dry, tangled and rough mess it used to be. There is a slight sheen to it. I have added a hair tonic to this rountine to try to rid meself of my fine and thinning hair.

Then There Is Facial Care
I only wanted to get a tube of a facial foam wash. But the sales assitant was very persistent and convincing and dragged me into a complete ritual of a foam wash, a mask, a toner and a moisturizer.

Apparently this is just the basics that every woman does for her face. And that does not include the whole array of make-up care that comes thereafter.

O Woman, so this is how you are. Now I really really really know. So please do not judge others first without taking a good in the mirror at yourself.

And one up for equality of the sexes. After all you have intruded and dominated over far too many male domains of work and family lives.

Finally There Is Body Care
And by body care I mean de-stressing viz-a-viz aromatherapy. And I have chosen a lemongrass oil cum water burner option over a candle stick in a tub kind. The latter doesn't permeate the room half as much.

I mean there is only my room that I can retreat to. There isn't a nice sofa set for moi to sit on to read or relax or snack or watch television or videos.

A refuge away from the world, away from this household and it is demeaning enough I have to spent my two years hopping from one fucking bloody place to another and have privy to all the family's secrets, feuds and sexual games.

Alone, Lonely And Miserable
I have never felt lonelier and more miserable than now. I have my sexual and emotional needs but they are not completely met in the two years I have become nomadic. People are just too busy to spend their time with each other and bond.

They have all their work and other stuff to fill their lives when it should really be about building up relationships and bonds. Real relationships and bonds. Not business contacts or money but about really sharing and knowing each other.

I realised that all those stuff I bought are just materialities that fill up all my voids in my life right now untill I can do those things I told myself I should be doing like having my place, living with my beau and my own terms of living my life.

The Quality Of Our Lives And Relationships Sucks - This Is Family?
And that is how I know the China doll must be feeling. Always alone and though married to Raymond, given the kinda time (if at all) they spent together and with poor, poor, poor Wei Zhao, she might as well be a divorcee or a widow.

The same goes for Wei Zhao and Liz, the maid. If none of us speaks with Liz, she only has Wei Zhao for company.

I suppose Kent and Peng, the other two tenants, feel the same too. Away from their homes and families.

This is no family structure if people spent their lives so separate and alone from each other. And if families are the ones who always invite troubles and miseries for you, why do we have families in the first place anyway?

Relationships are all about barter. You do A, I return favor B. I do C for you and you have to return D in kind.

Are relationships all about that?

Liz, The Devil Incarnate
It has been some time that I meant to tell Liz, the maid, off.

During the one month I came back from my overseas trip, she has been hassling moi with all her nonsense. I have boycotted speaking with her, partly because I discovered all those lies she has been telling and partly because I was sick and needed my rest.

She has been telling A to tenant B, then C to tenant D and in doing so, souring up all their relationships, driving wedges between them and pushing them into conflict with each other.

Among her hassles were : humming the "Mary had a little lamb" tune and we all know this came with the crime series starring Vincent Ng about a serial girl molester. As I found out from her, Peng is between 18-20 years old.

She likes to "wayang" a lot as does the whole household of the China doll and Raymond.

Then Liz mimicked a whack on Wei Zhao's hands with a towel to try to agitate moi. She has been insinuating "kaypohness" and "selfishness" on my part, for whatever reasons but please, examine your kind selves.

When I received the order for my mattress, she wanted to know the price. And why does she leave a wide crack in the door when she puts Wei Zhao to sleep in the cradle in the bedroom if not to "kaypoh" what goes on outside her purview.

Selfish? Oh boy what about the China doll and Raymond. Look at how Wei Zhao is left alone like that for long periods and when they are home, Wei Zhao is always put to sleep while they sleep on or go on the Net or pursue their own self-interests.

Liz has been rushing for the bath at various times to wash herself and Wei Zhao and I know she does this on purpose because her times are like when moi steps into the kitchen and then she will excuse herself to enter the bath immediately.

You will just know and feel it.

Not only that, she only has to observe one's routine to realise what one does at certain times and so she will exactly be at that spot beforehand. And she does. She is so "kaypoh".

A Good Telling Off
So last night, I told her that all of Raymond's familial miseries must have started with him. He shouldn't be dragging a China doll into this, have a child and then leave her all alone like that. She might as well be dead and as the house does not belong to her, I am sure she must be indignant to all the goings on but she can't do a thing and have to be accomplice to her "husband".

Then Raymond (even this isn't his real name) variously lie to get the tenants to lease his place and who knows what his intentions are? He has variously wanted to rent out to 2 to 3 persons to a room but now he hums a completely different tune. He doesn't want the house to be too crowded. I am totally confused by this.

He must have roped in Liz for his various gameplays and she has obliged and she is no better than the Devil Incarnate herself.

I told her that they can go on doing all the things they are doing and look at Raymond now. He isn't happy, has a litany of familial woes and the China doll isn't about to give in to his game.

They will get their just dessert. And the $50 rent increase will not last him a lifetime.

This morning, I could see the pain and anguish on her face as if she realised what she has been doing all this while.