Singaporeans Are All That But Why And Are Foreigners Any Different?
I just realised a few things the other day.
First, Singaporeans have been accused of a multitude of sins. Sins like being selfish and having an attitude and the last one I read was a poster at Tampines Mall that screamed "Singaporeans do not complain, they whine".
I am not sure what they mean by "selfish". Perhaps they mean that by being selfless, we all need to engage in some barter. The kinda barter I mentioned. You rub my back, I scrub your balls. I suck your dick, you lick my pubic hair. In short, if you lent me $10 now, I leave some leftover food for you some time in the future.
Exactly the kinda barter that demeans what a "real" relationship is all about.
If the foreign guest workers based here do not have an attitude, then Emperor Qian Long isn't the emperor anymore. He is the empress. Muahahahahaha.
I have worked and lived with enough foreign bodies to know that.
Like Liz. The Queen Maid and Mother of the Tan Family right now. When she gets a scolding or is hastened to finish her work, she is all nice and demure as a front. When moi is around, she "whines" like a female hyena on heat asking the government of the day to fuck her.
Why do Singaporens whine and become what they are today?
Surely in part it is the environment that made them so. Do the leaders here do not realise that?
Don't you think your no handouts, no welfare state, pay-and-pay and the economy hailed as the KING and sole reason for any human being's existence have nothing to do with it?
Please search within your own souls.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Of Nothing Grandiose But Plain Simplicity
The First And Next Generation Of Third Worlders
Let me add this final line to who we are bringing in here.
The First Generation Third Worlders may already be a world apart from us when it comes to living and working together . Even the Next Generation Third Worlders (the younger set) are kinda different in their thinking, ways of life, habits, culture and so on. On top of language of course.
One example is that most of them still believing in a whack when it comes to disciplining their kids. That seems, to us, to be the last resort only after a whole lot of good reasoning and talking to.
Imagine tossing them in with us. What kinda clash would you expect?
Creating New Industries And We Are Not Even Talking About Grandiosity - Just Simple Enough Creative New Industries That Can Create New Jobs For Our Own People
We are not even thinking of such grandiose ideas like the biomedical sciences when it comes to creating and opening up new industries. In fact, this again sounds a lot like an industry created for a select few "elites".
What about simple industries for the masses in the the fashion/hair styling industry, tourism, food and creative film production (particularly sexually-explicit films and films on homosexuality that are not even political).
We have heard often enough how the hair industry here just doesn't seem to venture beyond their few snips and cuts here and there . Invariably there is that few styles most of our Singapore bois are accustomed to.
A customer could point out a hair style in a glossy Japanese or Korean hair mag but the final cut just doesn't come out like it should.
Maybe it is high time a middle or high-end tier in the hair industry is created EXCLUSIVELY for Singaporean hairstylists where they are trained abroad (hair fashion capitals of the world like Japan, Korea, London, New York, wateva) and to serve up cuts in these sectors at those sectorial price ranges.
The same applies to the food and beverage industry.
Let all the rest of them remain as where they are now - the lower end or the few middle and high-end spectrum.
We Are All Trained To First World Standards But Hey Are The Foreigners Similarly Educated?
While engaging with my sister in conversation today, I realised how ironical Singapore has become in fining its own people when it comes to littering, spitting or throwing away cigarette butts.
But what about the foreign guest workers or otherwise who dirty our public transport system dressed in their greasy, oily or muddied work overalls and boots?
We are exhorted to give up seats to the elderly and the needy but do all foreigners observe this?
Which is worse?
Final Plea
Please do not use the cover of authority or some other legal institutions (like marriage for one) to beat down gay-sex as a second-class, underground, deceitful , surreptitious, coercive and shameful act of intercourse on the sly between men and or boys.
Make it as legitimate as the rest of them which will make it a loving healthy relationship out in the open and there will be none of the wrongs that are being pepetrated now in the dark.
This Place Is Cool
I finally got the haircut I want. This is like after so many try-outs and payment for various treatments and hair products.
I think I will stick to this hair salon for a while.
The Hot Hot Hot Chinese
Yes the Chinese bois are really hot. Some of those students and the masseurs and those in the service industry.
I say bring them in. But after the looks, we all look for character and the heart and so on.
Let me add this final line to who we are bringing in here.
The First Generation Third Worlders may already be a world apart from us when it comes to living and working together . Even the Next Generation Third Worlders (the younger set) are kinda different in their thinking, ways of life, habits, culture and so on. On top of language of course.
One example is that most of them still believing in a whack when it comes to disciplining their kids. That seems, to us, to be the last resort only after a whole lot of good reasoning and talking to.
Imagine tossing them in with us. What kinda clash would you expect?
Creating New Industries And We Are Not Even Talking About Grandiosity - Just Simple Enough Creative New Industries That Can Create New Jobs For Our Own People
We are not even thinking of such grandiose ideas like the biomedical sciences when it comes to creating and opening up new industries. In fact, this again sounds a lot like an industry created for a select few "elites".
What about simple industries for the masses in the the fashion/hair styling industry, tourism, food and creative film production (particularly sexually-explicit films and films on homosexuality that are not even political).
We have heard often enough how the hair industry here just doesn't seem to venture beyond their few snips and cuts here and there . Invariably there is that few styles most of our Singapore bois are accustomed to.
A customer could point out a hair style in a glossy Japanese or Korean hair mag but the final cut just doesn't come out like it should.
Maybe it is high time a middle or high-end tier in the hair industry is created EXCLUSIVELY for Singaporean hairstylists where they are trained abroad (hair fashion capitals of the world like Japan, Korea, London, New York, wateva) and to serve up cuts in these sectors at those sectorial price ranges.
The same applies to the food and beverage industry.
Let all the rest of them remain as where they are now - the lower end or the few middle and high-end spectrum.
We Are All Trained To First World Standards But Hey Are The Foreigners Similarly Educated?
While engaging with my sister in conversation today, I realised how ironical Singapore has become in fining its own people when it comes to littering, spitting or throwing away cigarette butts.
But what about the foreign guest workers or otherwise who dirty our public transport system dressed in their greasy, oily or muddied work overalls and boots?
We are exhorted to give up seats to the elderly and the needy but do all foreigners observe this?
Which is worse?
Final Plea
Please do not use the cover of authority or some other legal institutions (like marriage for one) to beat down gay-sex as a second-class, underground, deceitful , surreptitious, coercive and shameful act of intercourse on the sly between men and or boys.
Make it as legitimate as the rest of them which will make it a loving healthy relationship out in the open and there will be none of the wrongs that are being pepetrated now in the dark.
This Place Is Cool
I finally got the haircut I want. This is like after so many try-outs and payment for various treatments and hair products.
I think I will stick to this hair salon for a while.
The Hot Hot Hot Chinese
Yes the Chinese bois are really hot. Some of those students and the masseurs and those in the service industry.
I say bring them in. But after the looks, we all look for character and the heart and so on.
Friday, April 18, 2008
O Please Don't Be A HypoCrite
Misery Of Miseries - Playing Cloak And Dagger
Let me put to you how miserably unprivate it is to lease a room to stay in, especially from a familial kinda setting with "wife", "husband" and "kid" in tow.
First I LOVE DURIANS. And since there may be a problem with the perceived stench of this beloved KING OF FRUITS, I have to take into account this sensibility and therefore BUY and EAT the fruit outside.
I tried doing that at Swensens and was all at once spotted and told not to consume this on their premises. So I have to pick another food joint to do that.
Then there is that other issue of privacy when I am on the INTERNET and because I AM GAY, therefore I visit quite a few GAY SITES and I have to always look over my shoulders to check who is peeping or noticing in public places where I surf.
Sometimes I just don't bother anymore and I don't know what the consequences are gonna be.
Just to name two of the many inconveniences. And since we are not an open society (contrary to our preposterous claims) therefore I just can't be really open with my orientation. I can only be selectively open.
Are You Seriously Doing The Right Thing?
Yes it is true because of the kinda population figure we are having trouble with here (but please your "STOP AT TWO" policy, the promotion of the equality of the sexes leading to a smaller family nucleus and the emigration of our own kind must have in some way contributed to this), immigration seems like the BEST WAY TO GO.
All of us have no problems with that except that we seem to be bringing in Third Worlders and they are purportedly generating for the country the NEXT GENERATION.
But question is: How do the "NEXT GENERATION" like myself then deal with this usually older, more traditional and less educated FIRST GENERATION THIRD WORLDERS. And isn't this just a lame excuse because we are gonna keep mouthing the same old line to "THE NEXT GENERATION" while bringing in the "FIRST GENERATION THIRD WORLDERS" without really addressing the root cause of the problem.
In other words, we are just treating the symptoms of a population decline simply by topping up through immigration. But what is the root cause of this decline?
Yes, I have mentioned three of them above.
The Next Generation Seems Like The Best Bet
I still think that the younger generation of foreign bodies that come here to school are our best bet for topping up our population figure. There is a better chance they can become more like us. The younger, the easier.
I am not too sure about the older and therefore more traditional group though. And especially the Third Worlders.
There is the issue of hygiene and health practices and standards and yes, what if they bring with them some kinda new viral bugs or something?
A Dumping Ground Good For Sheer Academic Learning
During the university application season and making my rounds of the four universities here, I couldn't help noticing a fairer than fair number of foreign bodies studying at these education institutions. Yes women too.
I am not sure if they are making up for the lost numbers (usually the better and abler) who have gone abroad to pursue their higher education or if they are making it here because of the sheer academic nature of our education.
Just rote-learning, memorisation and regurgitation which people like them do best.
These Are Your Foreign Immigrants You Are Bringing In
First The Burmese
I am not going on with the Burmese, ex-tenant of my current place, firstly because he is beginning to speak all those things our top leaders have been mouthing. Like eat at the coffee shop where it is supposedly to be cheaper.
But he has admitted that for him, he needs at least SGD700 a month for all living expenses here that include rent, food and transport.
See how indoctrinated he has become. And I don't believe for a moment that he is new here to Singapore. I don't believe for a moment that picture of the woman on his cell-phone is his girlfriend and he can LIE without a blink of an eye.
If he can lie about that, I can begin to wonder what kinda beneficial relationship he is engaging in with Raymond and I just have a feeling he has moved to somewhere nearby, a place where Raymond, his relative (like his mom or aunty) or friend are splitting among themselves.
He has also been secretly texting Liz the maid. He has also told stuff about me to her and Raymond. That I know. He seems to be more a spy for the household. Just like Liz. And Liz and Kent are correct in some sense that he isn't very clean.
I seem to get the feeling that there is a kinda conspiracy among the China doll, Raymond, Liz and the tenants when they circulate stories about themselves. Mostly a unified one but sometimes because of lapses, differing versions.
Then The Hot China Boy (God, He Is Cute But I Am Leaving Him Alone)
Peng has also lied about the private school he is studying in. Of all the names he chose, it was "Qian Long", the name of an ex-emperor of one of the Chinese dynasties.
We all know the track record of many of these private schools. Peng has consistently been skipping school and going to school at various odd hours in the morning and then in the afternoon.
I have taught in them before and I know for a fact, some aren't exactly there to study.
Finally Some Of The Hot China Masseurs And Malaysian Chinese Here
I recently ran into a Chinese masseur who studies in one and is part-timing as a gay masseur. He has every intention of brushing up his English and then jump from his current student pass to a work pass.
He is all about money and his intentions are not very clear.
It seems that a PR status is extended quite easily nowadays to Chinese foreigners. Some Malaysian Chinese recently on a room hunt to share a room with moi is studying in an arts school and apparently he was invited for a PR status before he is graduating.
He is even rowing the dragonboat for our army (how is that possible) and has a job waiting as a flight attendant with our local airlines.
There you have it. Tough competition for us all to find work and live here. And above all, we are not privileged citizens of our own country.
Then There Is "Raymond"
Don't forget his ad was for young tenants. Very young tenants. Tenants from their late teens to twenties.
And for heaven's sake, he is a married man, he is a gay-turned-bisexual. So what kinda things do you expect out of him?
You Disallow Legitimate Gay Couplings Out In The Open But Encourage Surreptitious And Deceitful Acts On The Sly Under Purportedly Legitimate Fronts Like Marriage And Schools?
You wanna disallow legitimate couplings of gays out in the open while encouraging surreptitious "married but having fun on the side" kinda lifestyle?
What kinda signal is that to a generation of younger gays.
Oo Are These Your GrassRoots People Again
Yeah I see these faces every time I visit some of these places.
Familiar faces I know from the past. The army for one. And people who hang out frequently at the same places moi hangs out for whatever reasons.
Or people who just appear from nowhere but have a million subliminal messages in the conversations they so loudly engage in within my ear-shot for my listening pleasure or displeasure.
Let me put to you how miserably unprivate it is to lease a room to stay in, especially from a familial kinda setting with "wife", "husband" and "kid" in tow.
First I LOVE DURIANS. And since there may be a problem with the perceived stench of this beloved KING OF FRUITS, I have to take into account this sensibility and therefore BUY and EAT the fruit outside.
I tried doing that at Swensens and was all at once spotted and told not to consume this on their premises. So I have to pick another food joint to do that.
Then there is that other issue of privacy when I am on the INTERNET and because I AM GAY, therefore I visit quite a few GAY SITES and I have to always look over my shoulders to check who is peeping or noticing in public places where I surf.
Sometimes I just don't bother anymore and I don't know what the consequences are gonna be.
Just to name two of the many inconveniences. And since we are not an open society (contrary to our preposterous claims) therefore I just can't be really open with my orientation. I can only be selectively open.
Are You Seriously Doing The Right Thing?
Yes it is true because of the kinda population figure we are having trouble with here (but please your "STOP AT TWO" policy, the promotion of the equality of the sexes leading to a smaller family nucleus and the emigration of our own kind must have in some way contributed to this), immigration seems like the BEST WAY TO GO.
All of us have no problems with that except that we seem to be bringing in Third Worlders and they are purportedly generating for the country the NEXT GENERATION.
But question is: How do the "NEXT GENERATION" like myself then deal with this usually older, more traditional and less educated FIRST GENERATION THIRD WORLDERS. And isn't this just a lame excuse because we are gonna keep mouthing the same old line to "THE NEXT GENERATION" while bringing in the "FIRST GENERATION THIRD WORLDERS" without really addressing the root cause of the problem.
In other words, we are just treating the symptoms of a population decline simply by topping up through immigration. But what is the root cause of this decline?
Yes, I have mentioned three of them above.
The Next Generation Seems Like The Best Bet
I still think that the younger generation of foreign bodies that come here to school are our best bet for topping up our population figure. There is a better chance they can become more like us. The younger, the easier.
I am not too sure about the older and therefore more traditional group though. And especially the Third Worlders.
There is the issue of hygiene and health practices and standards and yes, what if they bring with them some kinda new viral bugs or something?
A Dumping Ground Good For Sheer Academic Learning
During the university application season and making my rounds of the four universities here, I couldn't help noticing a fairer than fair number of foreign bodies studying at these education institutions. Yes women too.
I am not sure if they are making up for the lost numbers (usually the better and abler) who have gone abroad to pursue their higher education or if they are making it here because of the sheer academic nature of our education.
Just rote-learning, memorisation and regurgitation which people like them do best.
These Are Your Foreign Immigrants You Are Bringing In
First The Burmese
I am not going on with the Burmese, ex-tenant of my current place, firstly because he is beginning to speak all those things our top leaders have been mouthing. Like eat at the coffee shop where it is supposedly to be cheaper.
But he has admitted that for him, he needs at least SGD700 a month for all living expenses here that include rent, food and transport.
See how indoctrinated he has become. And I don't believe for a moment that he is new here to Singapore. I don't believe for a moment that picture of the woman on his cell-phone is his girlfriend and he can LIE without a blink of an eye.
If he can lie about that, I can begin to wonder what kinda beneficial relationship he is engaging in with Raymond and I just have a feeling he has moved to somewhere nearby, a place where Raymond, his relative (like his mom or aunty) or friend are splitting among themselves.
He has also been secretly texting Liz the maid. He has also told stuff about me to her and Raymond. That I know. He seems to be more a spy for the household. Just like Liz. And Liz and Kent are correct in some sense that he isn't very clean.
I seem to get the feeling that there is a kinda conspiracy among the China doll, Raymond, Liz and the tenants when they circulate stories about themselves. Mostly a unified one but sometimes because of lapses, differing versions.
Then The Hot China Boy (God, He Is Cute But I Am Leaving Him Alone)
Peng has also lied about the private school he is studying in. Of all the names he chose, it was "Qian Long", the name of an ex-emperor of one of the Chinese dynasties.
We all know the track record of many of these private schools. Peng has consistently been skipping school and going to school at various odd hours in the morning and then in the afternoon.
I have taught in them before and I know for a fact, some aren't exactly there to study.
Finally Some Of The Hot China Masseurs And Malaysian Chinese Here
I recently ran into a Chinese masseur who studies in one and is part-timing as a gay masseur. He has every intention of brushing up his English and then jump from his current student pass to a work pass.
He is all about money and his intentions are not very clear.
It seems that a PR status is extended quite easily nowadays to Chinese foreigners. Some Malaysian Chinese recently on a room hunt to share a room with moi is studying in an arts school and apparently he was invited for a PR status before he is graduating.
He is even rowing the dragonboat for our army (how is that possible) and has a job waiting as a flight attendant with our local airlines.
There you have it. Tough competition for us all to find work and live here. And above all, we are not privileged citizens of our own country.
Then There Is "Raymond"
Don't forget his ad was for young tenants. Very young tenants. Tenants from their late teens to twenties.
And for heaven's sake, he is a married man, he is a gay-turned-bisexual. So what kinda things do you expect out of him?
You Disallow Legitimate Gay Couplings Out In The Open But Encourage Surreptitious And Deceitful Acts On The Sly Under Purportedly Legitimate Fronts Like Marriage And Schools?
You wanna disallow legitimate couplings of gays out in the open while encouraging surreptitious "married but having fun on the side" kinda lifestyle?
What kinda signal is that to a generation of younger gays.
Oo Are These Your GrassRoots People Again
Yeah I see these faces every time I visit some of these places.
Familiar faces I know from the past. The army for one. And people who hang out frequently at the same places moi hangs out for whatever reasons.
Or people who just appear from nowhere but have a million subliminal messages in the conversations they so loudly engage in within my ear-shot for my listening pleasure or displeasure.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Let's See Where This All Ends
I Am Now You
First There Is Hair Care
Yes, I have undergone and am undergoing a complete transformation and hopefully an equally complete transfiguration.
It all started with my hair of course. The durian spikes that is so popular here just do not suit moi's wavy, fine and limp hair. And I can't sustain it well enough for it to be as cute and nice a hairdo as it does for most of our hot Singapore bois here anyway.
Instead moi has opted for a woman's swept up or across the brow kinda look. And yes, my hair, together with Liz, the maid, is adding to the clog-up of the drain-holes. But isn't it such a wonderful feeling that you are doing back to what a gall always does to you?
Now there is a haircut I would wanna try out but I think it will have to wait untill moi is successfully enrolled for university. And I still think we can do with more skills in slicing up more hairstyles here like in Japan or Korea.
It isn't untrue that with a daily routine of a shampoo and moisturiser wash that moi's hair is no longer the dull, dry, tangled and rough mess it used to be. There is a slight sheen to it. I have added a hair tonic to this rountine to try to rid meself of my fine and thinning hair.
Then There Is Facial Care
I only wanted to get a tube of a facial foam wash. But the sales assitant was very persistent and convincing and dragged me into a complete ritual of a foam wash, a mask, a toner and a moisturizer.
Apparently this is just the basics that every woman does for her face. And that does not include the whole array of make-up care that comes thereafter.
O Woman, so this is how you are. Now I really really really know. So please do not judge others first without taking a good in the mirror at yourself.
And one up for equality of the sexes. After all you have intruded and dominated over far too many male domains of work and family lives.
Finally There Is Body Care
And by body care I mean de-stressing viz-a-viz aromatherapy. And I have chosen a lemongrass oil cum water burner option over a candle stick in a tub kind. The latter doesn't permeate the room half as much.
I mean there is only my room that I can retreat to. There isn't a nice sofa set for moi to sit on to read or relax or snack or watch television or videos.
A refuge away from the world, away from this household and it is demeaning enough I have to spent my two years hopping from one fucking bloody place to another and have privy to all the family's secrets, feuds and sexual games.
Alone, Lonely And Miserable
I have never felt lonelier and more miserable than now. I have my sexual and emotional needs but they are not completely met in the two years I have become nomadic. People are just too busy to spend their time with each other and bond.
They have all their work and other stuff to fill their lives when it should really be about building up relationships and bonds. Real relationships and bonds. Not business contacts or money but about really sharing and knowing each other.
I realised that all those stuff I bought are just materialities that fill up all my voids in my life right now untill I can do those things I told myself I should be doing like having my place, living with my beau and my own terms of living my life.
The Quality Of Our Lives And Relationships Sucks - This Is Family?
And that is how I know the China doll must be feeling. Always alone and though married to Raymond, given the kinda time (if at all) they spent together and with poor, poor, poor Wei Zhao, she might as well be a divorcee or a widow.
The same goes for Wei Zhao and Liz, the maid. If none of us speaks with Liz, she only has Wei Zhao for company.
I suppose Kent and Peng, the other two tenants, feel the same too. Away from their homes and families.
This is no family structure if people spent their lives so separate and alone from each other. And if families are the ones who always invite troubles and miseries for you, why do we have families in the first place anyway?
Relationships are all about barter. You do A, I return favor B. I do C for you and you have to return D in kind.
Are relationships all about that?
Liz, The Devil Incarnate
It has been some time that I meant to tell Liz, the maid, off.
During the one month I came back from my overseas trip, she has been hassling moi with all her nonsense. I have boycotted speaking with her, partly because I discovered all those lies she has been telling and partly because I was sick and needed my rest.
She has been telling A to tenant B, then C to tenant D and in doing so, souring up all their relationships, driving wedges between them and pushing them into conflict with each other.
Among her hassles were : humming the "Mary had a little lamb" tune and we all know this came with the crime series starring Vincent Ng about a serial girl molester. As I found out from her, Peng is between 18-20 years old.
She likes to "wayang" a lot as does the whole household of the China doll and Raymond.
Then Liz mimicked a whack on Wei Zhao's hands with a towel to try to agitate moi. She has been insinuating "kaypohness" and "selfishness" on my part, for whatever reasons but please, examine your kind selves.
When I received the order for my mattress, she wanted to know the price. And why does she leave a wide crack in the door when she puts Wei Zhao to sleep in the cradle in the bedroom if not to "kaypoh" what goes on outside her purview.
Selfish? Oh boy what about the China doll and Raymond. Look at how Wei Zhao is left alone like that for long periods and when they are home, Wei Zhao is always put to sleep while they sleep on or go on the Net or pursue their own self-interests.
Liz has been rushing for the bath at various times to wash herself and Wei Zhao and I know she does this on purpose because her times are like when moi steps into the kitchen and then she will excuse herself to enter the bath immediately.
You will just know and feel it.
Not only that, she only has to observe one's routine to realise what one does at certain times and so she will exactly be at that spot beforehand. And she does. She is so "kaypoh".
A Good Telling Off
So last night, I told her that all of Raymond's familial miseries must have started with him. He shouldn't be dragging a China doll into this, have a child and then leave her all alone like that. She might as well be dead and as the house does not belong to her, I am sure she must be indignant to all the goings on but she can't do a thing and have to be accomplice to her "husband".
Then Raymond (even this isn't his real name) variously lie to get the tenants to lease his place and who knows what his intentions are? He has variously wanted to rent out to 2 to 3 persons to a room but now he hums a completely different tune. He doesn't want the house to be too crowded. I am totally confused by this.
He must have roped in Liz for his various gameplays and she has obliged and she is no better than the Devil Incarnate herself.
I told her that they can go on doing all the things they are doing and look at Raymond now. He isn't happy, has a litany of familial woes and the China doll isn't about to give in to his game.
They will get their just dessert. And the $50 rent increase will not last him a lifetime.
This morning, I could see the pain and anguish on her face as if she realised what she has been doing all this while.
First There Is Hair Care
Yes, I have undergone and am undergoing a complete transformation and hopefully an equally complete transfiguration.
It all started with my hair of course. The durian spikes that is so popular here just do not suit moi's wavy, fine and limp hair. And I can't sustain it well enough for it to be as cute and nice a hairdo as it does for most of our hot Singapore bois here anyway.
Instead moi has opted for a woman's swept up or across the brow kinda look. And yes, my hair, together with Liz, the maid, is adding to the clog-up of the drain-holes. But isn't it such a wonderful feeling that you are doing back to what a gall always does to you?
Now there is a haircut I would wanna try out but I think it will have to wait untill moi is successfully enrolled for university. And I still think we can do with more skills in slicing up more hairstyles here like in Japan or Korea.
It isn't untrue that with a daily routine of a shampoo and moisturiser wash that moi's hair is no longer the dull, dry, tangled and rough mess it used to be. There is a slight sheen to it. I have added a hair tonic to this rountine to try to rid meself of my fine and thinning hair.
Then There Is Facial Care
I only wanted to get a tube of a facial foam wash. But the sales assitant was very persistent and convincing and dragged me into a complete ritual of a foam wash, a mask, a toner and a moisturizer.
Apparently this is just the basics that every woman does for her face. And that does not include the whole array of make-up care that comes thereafter.
O Woman, so this is how you are. Now I really really really know. So please do not judge others first without taking a good in the mirror at yourself.
And one up for equality of the sexes. After all you have intruded and dominated over far too many male domains of work and family lives.
Finally There Is Body Care
And by body care I mean de-stressing viz-a-viz aromatherapy. And I have chosen a lemongrass oil cum water burner option over a candle stick in a tub kind. The latter doesn't permeate the room half as much.
I mean there is only my room that I can retreat to. There isn't a nice sofa set for moi to sit on to read or relax or snack or watch television or videos.
A refuge away from the world, away from this household and it is demeaning enough I have to spent my two years hopping from one fucking bloody place to another and have privy to all the family's secrets, feuds and sexual games.
Alone, Lonely And Miserable
I have never felt lonelier and more miserable than now. I have my sexual and emotional needs but they are not completely met in the two years I have become nomadic. People are just too busy to spend their time with each other and bond.
They have all their work and other stuff to fill their lives when it should really be about building up relationships and bonds. Real relationships and bonds. Not business contacts or money but about really sharing and knowing each other.
I realised that all those stuff I bought are just materialities that fill up all my voids in my life right now untill I can do those things I told myself I should be doing like having my place, living with my beau and my own terms of living my life.
The Quality Of Our Lives And Relationships Sucks - This Is Family?
And that is how I know the China doll must be feeling. Always alone and though married to Raymond, given the kinda time (if at all) they spent together and with poor, poor, poor Wei Zhao, she might as well be a divorcee or a widow.
The same goes for Wei Zhao and Liz, the maid. If none of us speaks with Liz, she only has Wei Zhao for company.
I suppose Kent and Peng, the other two tenants, feel the same too. Away from their homes and families.
This is no family structure if people spent their lives so separate and alone from each other. And if families are the ones who always invite troubles and miseries for you, why do we have families in the first place anyway?
Relationships are all about barter. You do A, I return favor B. I do C for you and you have to return D in kind.
Are relationships all about that?
Liz, The Devil Incarnate
It has been some time that I meant to tell Liz, the maid, off.
During the one month I came back from my overseas trip, she has been hassling moi with all her nonsense. I have boycotted speaking with her, partly because I discovered all those lies she has been telling and partly because I was sick and needed my rest.
She has been telling A to tenant B, then C to tenant D and in doing so, souring up all their relationships, driving wedges between them and pushing them into conflict with each other.
Among her hassles were : humming the "Mary had a little lamb" tune and we all know this came with the crime series starring Vincent Ng about a serial girl molester. As I found out from her, Peng is between 18-20 years old.
She likes to "wayang" a lot as does the whole household of the China doll and Raymond.
Then Liz mimicked a whack on Wei Zhao's hands with a towel to try to agitate moi. She has been insinuating "kaypohness" and "selfishness" on my part, for whatever reasons but please, examine your kind selves.
When I received the order for my mattress, she wanted to know the price. And why does she leave a wide crack in the door when she puts Wei Zhao to sleep in the cradle in the bedroom if not to "kaypoh" what goes on outside her purview.
Selfish? Oh boy what about the China doll and Raymond. Look at how Wei Zhao is left alone like that for long periods and when they are home, Wei Zhao is always put to sleep while they sleep on or go on the Net or pursue their own self-interests.
Liz has been rushing for the bath at various times to wash herself and Wei Zhao and I know she does this on purpose because her times are like when moi steps into the kitchen and then she will excuse herself to enter the bath immediately.
You will just know and feel it.
Not only that, she only has to observe one's routine to realise what one does at certain times and so she will exactly be at that spot beforehand. And she does. She is so "kaypoh".
A Good Telling Off
So last night, I told her that all of Raymond's familial miseries must have started with him. He shouldn't be dragging a China doll into this, have a child and then leave her all alone like that. She might as well be dead and as the house does not belong to her, I am sure she must be indignant to all the goings on but she can't do a thing and have to be accomplice to her "husband".
Then Raymond (even this isn't his real name) variously lie to get the tenants to lease his place and who knows what his intentions are? He has variously wanted to rent out to 2 to 3 persons to a room but now he hums a completely different tune. He doesn't want the house to be too crowded. I am totally confused by this.
He must have roped in Liz for his various gameplays and she has obliged and she is no better than the Devil Incarnate herself.
I told her that they can go on doing all the things they are doing and look at Raymond now. He isn't happy, has a litany of familial woes and the China doll isn't about to give in to his game.
They will get their just dessert. And the $50 rent increase will not last him a lifetime.
This morning, I could see the pain and anguish on her face as if she realised what she has been doing all this while.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Back To Me Own Self Again
I just realised how sick I had been the last one month immediately after my overseas trip. I was weak all over after all that physical exertion - workouts, runs, travelling on foot to so many places in those countries I visited and the Great Wall expedition.
I caught a chill and cold and I was coughing me throat and lungs out. My back was hurting and it didn't help the mattress wasn't exactly the TEMPUR kind that I have now bought for myself.
My legs were going all gelo and jelly. I felt chilly what with the wet and gloomy weather here and as soon as the sun permits, I will be out there basking myself. I have quit running and taken up brisk walking. Swimming and cycling are on my sports list right now.
In short I was everything but in the pink of health.
It didn't help that back "home" conditions were adding on to my woes.
The Burmese has moved out and in his place, a new hot China boy has just moved in. I had made several moves but he isn't responding. The rent has gone up, unjustifiably in my case, by another 50 bucks and I am trying to look for a room-mate to split the cost.
Liz was up to her antics once again and being in the state I was in, I wasn't exactly in the mood to respond in kind. So I kept my distance and myself in my room most of the time.
The China doll has gone back to her homeland in China for her younger brother's wedding (and that is according to Raymond who changes his story ever so often) and for a period, there was relative peace and quiet in the house.
Apart from her voice and some of her habits, I do get along with her. And the green bean buns she brought back were quite delicious.
Surprisingly I am getting along quite well with Raymond despite all his foibles.
Now that I am recovering or have recovered, I am back to almost my normal self.
I caught a chill and cold and I was coughing me throat and lungs out. My back was hurting and it didn't help the mattress wasn't exactly the TEMPUR kind that I have now bought for myself.
My legs were going all gelo and jelly. I felt chilly what with the wet and gloomy weather here and as soon as the sun permits, I will be out there basking myself. I have quit running and taken up brisk walking. Swimming and cycling are on my sports list right now.
In short I was everything but in the pink of health.
It didn't help that back "home" conditions were adding on to my woes.
The Burmese has moved out and in his place, a new hot China boy has just moved in. I had made several moves but he isn't responding. The rent has gone up, unjustifiably in my case, by another 50 bucks and I am trying to look for a room-mate to split the cost.
Liz was up to her antics once again and being in the state I was in, I wasn't exactly in the mood to respond in kind. So I kept my distance and myself in my room most of the time.
The China doll has gone back to her homeland in China for her younger brother's wedding (and that is according to Raymond who changes his story ever so often) and for a period, there was relative peace and quiet in the house.
Apart from her voice and some of her habits, I do get along with her. And the green bean buns she brought back were quite delicious.
Surprisingly I am getting along quite well with Raymond despite all his foibles.
Now that I am recovering or have recovered, I am back to almost my normal self.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Another Miracle
Now - One More For The Book Of Miracles
After my appointment with the dentist yesterday, I wandered into the food court and had some drinks.
It was then that it struck me that I should now turn to Western medication for help to relieve my persisting cough. The pharmacy was just round the corner and it was just more than opportune.
I waited in line and was finally prescribed expectorant.
My cough did die down substantially.
What Is Happening At Home
Liz has bitched about moi as I found out from the Burmese tenant. This is because I have boycotted chatting on friendly terms with her and I have become sterner with her. We all know she has lied about her boyfriend and about the money she needs.
After all, one will know and feel it when he is being harassed. She will rush for the toilet herself and sometimes under the pretext of bathing or allowing Wei Zhao to defecate or urinate, do the same. Anyway she bathes him at different times and is totally inconsistent.
She isnt exactly clean, leaving the diapers on the food preparation area near the kitchen sink and sometimes do not flush when she pours Wei Zhao's faeces and urine into the toilet bowl. She doesn't clear the washer's filter.
I am not sure who does this now. But there is a pair of shoes inside the washer and tea leaves in the toilet bowl. A China boy has just moved in. He was a tenant here for 7 months before being kicked out by Raymond. That was because Raymond had forcibly slept in their room meant for 2 and they were in conflict.
Liz has bitched different bad things about various people in the household to different people and she does this so that they are in conflict with each other.
And yes, the Burmese has shifted out. Remember he only asked Raymond not to sleep in his room when Kent is away and Raymond has asked him to move out. Raymond did this even though he was in the wrong.
Where he has shifted to isn't clear. But Raymond has friends in the area and a China aunty from his "wife" side also lets out rooms. It seems like tenants do move around among these places.
I know because the China boy has an extra pair of key for a padlock that seems to be for the main gate of a house. He has left this in the bathroom one day. All his stuff isn't here (yes he has some in the storage room) and he probably puts up somewhere else part of the time like Kent.
You hardly see Kent. Yes he works shifts at the hotel but he doesn't come home to sleep for days sometimes.
More games people play.
After my appointment with the dentist yesterday, I wandered into the food court and had some drinks.
It was then that it struck me that I should now turn to Western medication for help to relieve my persisting cough. The pharmacy was just round the corner and it was just more than opportune.
I waited in line and was finally prescribed expectorant.
My cough did die down substantially.
What Is Happening At Home
Liz has bitched about moi as I found out from the Burmese tenant. This is because I have boycotted chatting on friendly terms with her and I have become sterner with her. We all know she has lied about her boyfriend and about the money she needs.
After all, one will know and feel it when he is being harassed. She will rush for the toilet herself and sometimes under the pretext of bathing or allowing Wei Zhao to defecate or urinate, do the same. Anyway she bathes him at different times and is totally inconsistent.
She isnt exactly clean, leaving the diapers on the food preparation area near the kitchen sink and sometimes do not flush when she pours Wei Zhao's faeces and urine into the toilet bowl. She doesn't clear the washer's filter.
I am not sure who does this now. But there is a pair of shoes inside the washer and tea leaves in the toilet bowl. A China boy has just moved in. He was a tenant here for 7 months before being kicked out by Raymond. That was because Raymond had forcibly slept in their room meant for 2 and they were in conflict.
Liz has bitched different bad things about various people in the household to different people and she does this so that they are in conflict with each other.
And yes, the Burmese has shifted out. Remember he only asked Raymond not to sleep in his room when Kent is away and Raymond has asked him to move out. Raymond did this even though he was in the wrong.
Where he has shifted to isn't clear. But Raymond has friends in the area and a China aunty from his "wife" side also lets out rooms. It seems like tenants do move around among these places.
I know because the China boy has an extra pair of key for a padlock that seems to be for the main gate of a house. He has left this in the bathroom one day. All his stuff isn't here (yes he has some in the storage room) and he probably puts up somewhere else part of the time like Kent.
You hardly see Kent. Yes he works shifts at the hotel but he doesn't come home to sleep for days sometimes.
More games people play.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
There Is God And Someone Is Guiding Me Through My Difficult Times
There Is A God (But I Trust Not The Mortals) And Look At Poor Deceased Thaddeus Cheong (My Heart Feels For You And Your Family)
Yes it was a miracle and I must say that I now believe in God. However as I have said all along it is the mere mortals whom I do not believe in.
It all started when I shifted into Raymond's (also known as Kent or Micheal) residence. There were both an old single bed mattress and a queen size one.
I have thrown the single mattress out into the hallway when moi discovered some winged insects but just the other day, I found another winged insect and this must now be attributed to the queen-bed.
Every morning when moi wakes up, I know my back aches terribly. True to the form of a typical suffering, strong and silent Singaporean, I didn't wanna be seen as too much of a whiner and bore with it, thinking it will go away.
After my Great Wall expedition, I knew my back condition has been further aggravated. So it was no surprise that on a Monday morning when moi woke up after 2 full days of rest and sleep on this queen mattress, my back was in excruciating pain.
I felt the springs inside and discovered that inside, it was almost like empty. No more springs for support and that partly explains the worsening of my back condition.
I told myself I must get up and go for my usual physiotherapy. That meant my run and gym.
I couldn't walk very upright (gosh, I began to feel like "L") and my knees and feet were in pain. Being flat-footed (and I did read the book on Thaddeus Cheong) I am sure all these add up and culminated in what I feel today.
I almost wanted to check myself into a hospital. But I prayed (contrary to what others believe an atheist or agnostic would or would not do, I always do pray especially in times of need or when I feel I should) and told myself to entrust my life to God.
Guess what, after my brisk walks and some calisthenics (thanks to my gut feel and now the book on Thaddeus Cheong, I will quit jogging and take up some other sports like swimming or cycling) the pain disappeared and never returned again up till today.
As if some invisible hand was guiding me further, I actually wandered into a department store that Monday night because I had so much time to kill and spotted this counter selling a medically graded orthopaedic bed for back-pain pressure relief and back-ache sufferers like moi.
I snapped it up and you know what? This bed has now relieved me of all those nights and days of back pain.
What I am left with after my overseas trip is this: a runny nose that I have to blow out every now and then (which never happened before) and a persisting cough (though it has subsided very substantially now after a stronger does of a Chinese medicine) that throws up phlegm and leaves me gasping at times in the nights.
But again I will say my prayers and give praise and thanks to God and I am sure someone out there will be looking out for me.
Yes it was a miracle and I must say that I now believe in God. However as I have said all along it is the mere mortals whom I do not believe in.
It all started when I shifted into Raymond's (also known as Kent or Micheal) residence. There were both an old single bed mattress and a queen size one.
I have thrown the single mattress out into the hallway when moi discovered some winged insects but just the other day, I found another winged insect and this must now be attributed to the queen-bed.
Every morning when moi wakes up, I know my back aches terribly. True to the form of a typical suffering, strong and silent Singaporean, I didn't wanna be seen as too much of a whiner and bore with it, thinking it will go away.
After my Great Wall expedition, I knew my back condition has been further aggravated. So it was no surprise that on a Monday morning when moi woke up after 2 full days of rest and sleep on this queen mattress, my back was in excruciating pain.
I felt the springs inside and discovered that inside, it was almost like empty. No more springs for support and that partly explains the worsening of my back condition.
I told myself I must get up and go for my usual physiotherapy. That meant my run and gym.
I couldn't walk very upright (gosh, I began to feel like "L") and my knees and feet were in pain. Being flat-footed (and I did read the book on Thaddeus Cheong) I am sure all these add up and culminated in what I feel today.
I almost wanted to check myself into a hospital. But I prayed (contrary to what others believe an atheist or agnostic would or would not do, I always do pray especially in times of need or when I feel I should) and told myself to entrust my life to God.
Guess what, after my brisk walks and some calisthenics (thanks to my gut feel and now the book on Thaddeus Cheong, I will quit jogging and take up some other sports like swimming or cycling) the pain disappeared and never returned again up till today.
As if some invisible hand was guiding me further, I actually wandered into a department store that Monday night because I had so much time to kill and spotted this counter selling a medically graded orthopaedic bed for back-pain pressure relief and back-ache sufferers like moi.
I snapped it up and you know what? This bed has now relieved me of all those nights and days of back pain.
What I am left with after my overseas trip is this: a runny nose that I have to blow out every now and then (which never happened before) and a persisting cough (though it has subsided very substantially now after a stronger does of a Chinese medicine) that throws up phlegm and leaves me gasping at times in the nights.
But again I will say my prayers and give praise and thanks to God and I am sure someone out there will be looking out for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
