I cannot begin to blog about my deepest sadness today on the eve of a New Year.
Someone is trying to script my life, I think.
They may go on and on about something in their lives that dissatisfy them or that they are suffering from some termnal illness or something.
But the fact is I am NO BETTER THAN DEAD. I can'tself-actualise myself in teaching, my vocational calling. Or own a home or have reasonable good companionship. Good company and friends are hard to come by.
You won't find it at clubs, pubs, spas, chat rooms and the rest. And when you do, something terribly goes wrong.
All I get is a bunch of people stuck in a rut full of gripes. Different interests. No communication skills. No connection and I get sucked into their world.
Let It BeFall Them, They Deserve It
If you wanna let things befall someone, let it be those well-off , rich kids and EVEN THOSE who are NOT (keeping up with the Tans) who have it too good and blow their money on every material good they can.
Who aren't making use of the education opportunities their parents are bestowing on them.
SPLURGING ON EXPENSIVE FOOD AND GOODS AND EVERYTHING ELSE AT THEIR YOUNG AGE.
PARTYING, DRUNK-DRINKING, SLUTTING, SARONG PARTYING, DRAMAING, MONEYING FOR SEX, CABBING, DRUGGING, SEXING, TRAVELLING OR CYBERGAMING TILL THY KINGDOM COME!
This Is Me
For me I am just concerned about work, education, a home and a future beau and or kid. And I like nature and sports. Is that wrong?
This Is Me
For me I am just concerned about work, education, a home and a future beau and or kid. And I like nature and sports. Is that wrong?
To spend some chilling moments cafeing with real friends and so on. Is that a SIN too?
I am just concerned about me and my future beau/kid's lifestyle and well-being. I hope he shares my interests and ethos and I am remotely interested in what other people do.
That Is Him, Not Me!
I don't wanna be in Gerald's position, the current landlord of my place.
Divorced for wateva reasons with a toddler daughter. Stacks of probability gambling slips and invitations from an overseas casino.
After harassing me for the rental prepayment, now he wants a loan and advance for his "mom's operation" (Sounds more like gambling or loan debts to me).
And I don't trust his "brother" because he does not seem trustworthy.
In fact I am not even sure if he instigated his breakup because "his brother" is not on good terms with his own set of parents and puts up at Gerald's.
Or Gerald is relying on "his brother" for his next home as "his brother" is one year shy of age to qualify for a resale.
I am not interested in their lifestyle or intrigue.
Past And Present Familial Life
All I remember is that I was born into a kampong, grew up in a 2-room, then 3-room and finally 4-room flat. Never had many material things in my youth and never hankered for it.
This may be a culture shock to some. For me I live with culture shock every moment of my life. Small living quarters and very little material goods.
I was more concerned with my studies and work. But my family wasn't supportive and I am not sure if they were dragging me down as a result. On purpose or otherwise.
School, NS, Family Again And Then Work
Then in secondary school it got progressively unhappy and became worse in JC.
It didn't end there during National Service and continued through with all the family, female, regional and SME set-ups.
It is just a job but boy, the people around you have other ideas. From She-Ape, Black Widow and Shrill-Voice-Accident-In-Her-Face to the rest.
What about Daryl Chan the Eunuch? He sucks lollipops in school just like Chris did. In full view of the students. Defying one and all and coming late at times. And he is an "educator".
Career DeadBlock And No Home
I can't get the job I want. This is my vocational calling. When I thought I could have it at my fingertips, I lost it all and now I am like loboing.
Just When I Thought This Was It, Then It Got Taken Away
I can't get good companionship and just when I thought I did, I had to see the other side of him. Someone who is preoccupied, playful too, playing the field and just a tad too sociable.
I am just concerned about me and my future beau/kid's lifestyle and well-being. I hope he shares my interests and ethos and I am remotely interested in what other people do.
That Is Him, Not Me!
I don't wanna be in Gerald's position, the current landlord of my place.
Divorced for wateva reasons with a toddler daughter. Stacks of probability gambling slips and invitations from an overseas casino.
After harassing me for the rental prepayment, now he wants a loan and advance for his "mom's operation" (Sounds more like gambling or loan debts to me).
And I don't trust his "brother" because he does not seem trustworthy.
In fact I am not even sure if he instigated his breakup because "his brother" is not on good terms with his own set of parents and puts up at Gerald's.
Or Gerald is relying on "his brother" for his next home as "his brother" is one year shy of age to qualify for a resale.
I am not interested in their lifestyle or intrigue.
Past And Present Familial Life
All I remember is that I was born into a kampong, grew up in a 2-room, then 3-room and finally 4-room flat. Never had many material things in my youth and never hankered for it.
This may be a culture shock to some. For me I live with culture shock every moment of my life. Small living quarters and very little material goods.
I was more concerned with my studies and work. But my family wasn't supportive and I am not sure if they were dragging me down as a result. On purpose or otherwise.
School, NS, Family Again And Then Work
Then in secondary school it got progressively unhappy and became worse in JC.
It didn't end there during National Service and continued through with all the family, female, regional and SME set-ups.
It is just a job but boy, the people around you have other ideas. From She-Ape, Black Widow and Shrill-Voice-Accident-In-Her-Face to the rest.
What about Daryl Chan the Eunuch? He sucks lollipops in school just like Chris did. In full view of the students. Defying one and all and coming late at times. And he is an "educator".
Career DeadBlock And No Home
I can't get the job I want. This is my vocational calling. When I thought I could have it at my fingertips, I lost it all and now I am like loboing.
Just When I Thought This Was It, Then It Got Taken Away
I can't get good companionship and just when I thought I did, I had to see the other side of him. Someone who is preoccupied, playful too, playing the field and just a tad too sociable.
He is decent, clean-living and well-brought up but his friends have to corrupt and destroy that for him. And he has his own foibles like stealing out his family car for rides (when he hasn't got a license) and wanting to buy a second-hand car in the future.
And it isn't out of necessity for work (like sales) or family, it is gonna be for transporting his "brothers" for clubs, outings and to school. They have a family car already so why add on another liability? To show off and the convenience of a private transport.
And he still cannot understand the precarious position of his turning familial fortunes. I hope he gets round to it.
Fuck his friends and the company he keeps! What he needs is people to anchor him to the ground. Otherwise the rest of the ding-dong gang will be his downfall.
These Are The Clubbers Who Get Drunk, Emotionally Manipulate Others, Emoting Drama Courtesy Of Soaps And Wants To Be Taken Care Of Like Being Sent Home, Etc (The Fucking Slimy Gay Community)
I have seen his "brother" (and I can guess the company he keeps) and I know who his "brother" is and I don't like HIM.
They will "jio" him out - clubs, drinks and so on. Get high, drunk and go into stupor and pitiance, expecting others to sent them home and emoting DRAMA like soap operas.
It is like dealing with my Chinese ex-roomie all over again and his "brother" and that dude who lived with me at AMK.
I have to share him with HIM. I think his "brother" is old enough to take better care of himself and his brother is just trying to snatch him away from me.
It Is Called "Tough Love" Especially On Excessive Addiction Matters Like AlcoHol, CyberGaming, Gambling And So On (Simple Truth Is I AM NOT A PARTY-GOER OR CLUBBER)
We have to say "NO" to this kinda emotional drama and script and PUT OUR FOOT DOWN.
They have to be responsible for themselves, know how to hold their drink and if THEY CAN'T, THEN THEY FACE THE CONSEQUENCES on their own.
Nobody is gonna clean up after them or bail them out if they REPEATEDLY DO IT.
Otherwise GO for REHAB!
If with a family full of sorrows myself, I discipline myself NOT TO GET INTO REBELLION back when I was their age, SO CAN THEY! They are just manipulating their family sob stories to gain sympathy and advantages!
Including SEX!
It Must Be The Gay Community Again (Like This Gay I Met Recently - Emoting, Drama And Wanting To Be Sent Home With A Script Full Of Sorrowful Family Dysfunction)
When I did, he was on the phone with so many other of his "brothers" who wanna send him home.
These Are The Clubbers Who Get Drunk, Emotionally Manipulate Others, Emoting Drama Courtesy Of Soaps And Wants To Be Taken Care Of Like Being Sent Home, Etc (The Fucking Slimy Gay Community)
I have seen his "brother" (and I can guess the company he keeps) and I know who his "brother" is and I don't like HIM.
They will "jio" him out - clubs, drinks and so on. Get high, drunk and go into stupor and pitiance, expecting others to sent them home and emoting DRAMA like soap operas.
It is like dealing with my Chinese ex-roomie all over again and his "brother" and that dude who lived with me at AMK.
I have to share him with HIM. I think his "brother" is old enough to take better care of himself and his brother is just trying to snatch him away from me.
It Is Called "Tough Love" Especially On Excessive Addiction Matters Like AlcoHol, CyberGaming, Gambling And So On (Simple Truth Is I AM NOT A PARTY-GOER OR CLUBBER)
We have to say "NO" to this kinda emotional drama and script and PUT OUR FOOT DOWN.
They have to be responsible for themselves, know how to hold their drink and if THEY CAN'T, THEN THEY FACE THE CONSEQUENCES on their own.
Nobody is gonna clean up after them or bail them out if they REPEATEDLY DO IT.
Otherwise GO for REHAB!
If with a family full of sorrows myself, I discipline myself NOT TO GET INTO REBELLION back when I was their age, SO CAN THEY! They are just manipulating their family sob stories to gain sympathy and advantages!
Including SEX!
It Must Be The Gay Community Again (Like This Gay I Met Recently - Emoting, Drama And Wanting To Be Sent Home With A Script Full Of Sorrowful Family Dysfunction)
When I did, he was on the phone with so many other of his "brothers" who wanna send him home.
I just do not know what the whole point is? Was he like trying to feel loved or something? Or just making use of them? Or two, three, four or multi-timing to feel great? To stupidly wanna test their love?
I still don't see the point.....do you?
FUCK YOU ONCE AGAIN!
Someone is scripting this on purpose.
I know I am being monitored and they are trying to shove the "matured" people onto me whom I can't get along with, remotely interested in and disconnected (the FAKERS as I call them - the likes of FAT BLOKE, BULLDOG and Gerald's BROTHER NOW), then they are wrong.
You Still Don't Understand This?
I Just Want My Job, A Home, A Like-Minded Beau And A Higher Education. I don't wanna have to worry about my beau.
And It Is Not Age As Ben Would Have You Believe It Is . He Says The Young Are Emotionally Unstable . But there are young ones of any age (yes, even the secondary schoolers) well-brought up and share my ethics and ethos.
But I Think He Is The One - The Faker- And At Ben's Age, It Is A Crying Shame. He knows he is mouthing all the rubbish without even knowing what he is saying or having ever experienced it. All the cliches.
Yeah what about Vic, his beau? He is emotionally unstable too. He still hangs out at spas.
Yes and buying a new flat is fluke because it is by balloting (so you have no say who your neighbors are) while you have control over a resale flat - meaning the neighbours you live with - subject to the availability of flats at the point in time.
What Am I Clinging On For?
With no projects on hand, no jobs, no home, no nothing, I just don't know what I am clinging on for.
Fuck You! Mother Chao Chee Byes! Enough is enough! I just want to move on and live my life out. Can you understand this?
**This Is My Final Resolution
There will be no turning back. I am prepared to die for this. No return to any former industry or employer. THEY CAN GO TO HELL! It is only gonna be EDUCATION!
Please keep the education industry free of all the SHAM with the likes of "educators" like The Eunuch, She-Ape, He-Ape, Chris and all the rest.
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