Eversince the fight that fateful night and the start of my cough and flu, I have been developing mumps but today I just notice how bad the swell had gotten and I am praying over this as well.
See what stress can really do to your body! Psychosomatic disorder!
These Are Some Things You Can Learn From The Chinese
Yes, I am half Chinese, this half coming from my maternal lineage.
By now, it will be clear to all how the true blue Chinese men pride themselves and are usually serious-minded. They mean what they say and do what they mean. I can't speak for the wimps, the money bois or some of the other Chinese though.
We are not pikers and we do have compassion for our fellow beings. At least for me, I don't wanna become a stinking gutless corporate rat, working entirely for money at everybody's expense.
And we are not a trivial or a frivolous race. Neither are we shallow nor superficial but deep thinkers and doers. We are usually forthright and straight to the point, never meandering.
We have some fundamental values and beliefs which we will stick to and die for if necessary.
Of course we enjoy good humor, the occasional drama but we take relationships seriously and demand faith, trust, loyalty, openness, honesty and monogamity from our life partner.
We work hard for our money and we hanker for a stable home environment, a beau , good friends and company.
At least this applies to me, a half Chinese.
And though I may disagree with Mom on many occasions and that is only because of a clash of civilisation and religion, she REALLY represents all that and more.
Lots Of Pain, Remorse, Guilt , Sadness And Most Of All Shock
I am still in shock at what I did that day. That was SO NOT ME! It was like the other impetuous, deranged and totally uncontrolled half of me. The uglier, darker, Mr Hyde, midnight side of me.
I don't feel good breaking up with HIM but since he isn't reciprocating and all and GOD knows what is happening in his personal and love life, I guess this is the best choice for the moment.
I will HATE HIM TO THE CORE if he is playing the field which I suspect it is the case. If HE ALREADY HAS SOMEONE, JUST LET ME KNOW AND I AM OUTTA HIS LIFE FOR GOOD.
I am gonna apologize for my actions that day and for that I feel pain, sadness, remorse , guilt and shock.
This Was What It Should Have Been
When I should be kissing him on HIS cheeks and lips and all over, I am instead throwing punches. When I should be making love to him, cuddling and cupping his head to plant a kiss, I have hurt him badly.
I will do it with flowers and a card inscribed with my heartfelt message, what with Valentine's Day just 10 or 11 days away. The rest is up to him.
I can't really apologize for what I say though if it is true he is doing what I think he is doing.
Just too bad that he is almost everything I want in a beau and just right for me BUT THIS HAS TO HAPPEN.
Get Outta My Life And It Isn't A Life Anyway!
By now, I am jaded and sick and tired. So please leave me alone if you belong to the category of people I HATE.
I am still getting messages from past ethnic acquaintances (whom I am not keen) and ethnics are always appearing in my life at odd places. The gym, public places and so on. I am pretty sure they are the ones who are responsible for my current predicament.
First The Fundamentalists, Then The Various Communities
And the gay, ex-gay, bi or whatever community JUST ISN'T HELPING! They are driving wedges between us with all that they are saying. Instigating and breaking us all up.
The likes of Daryl Chan and Chris Fong, The Grand Eunuchs who will die tragically one day.
So get the message straight and FUCK OFF from my life.
They are fiends with axes to grind and whose lives got screwed. So they wanna avenge it on some other people and screw up their lives.
Go pick your fucking prey and DIE FROM IT, FUCKTARDS! As you surely will.
What Is The Meaning Of All This? Just Lay Off And Fuck Off!
I am not sure what I am clinging on for. I am gonna wait a while more before deciding what to do with my life.
With no income and money running out, I will just probably end it. And I will only work in the education field and no where else.
That is what the EVIL scriptors want it and they shall get it.
But let us see what will happen to their lives next! Will it be any better? I don't think so. They will get their own JUST DESSERT ONE FINE DAY and die from it!
My Iphone Went Dead And Resurrected About 12 Hours Later
My IPhone may just blank out for a short while but it has never died on me for a full 12 hours or more.
It just did and came back alive again this morning!
What a relief! Otherwise I have to send it for repair and the queues and waiting time and downtime must be atrociously long!
Sneaking Out For An Evening Breeze To Escape The "Summer" Heat And The "Office Hour" Faker
It is almost like summer here in Singapore.
Though I keep my windows open, the sun beats in and you can feel the hot blazing afternoon heat plus there isn't an air-conditioner here.
Once the sun sets, I sneak out to a local cafe just to enjoy the cool evening breeze.
Otherwise I will just suffocate in a cooped-up, all windows shut tight flat and a faker to boot and that ethnic tenant. I hope we all know where we stand by now.
OMFG!
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